"Sensible" Newbie Seeks Help

26 Sep 2005

Hey there. I recently engaged in some 'online' and then some telephone banter with a couple I was interested in. I have read about the 'advice' on this site and on a few other sites - and tried to be careful - i.e. no face shots, check voices, speak on phone etc.
However, in fairness my first phone conversation was a whole lot more intimate than I would have liked initially, and there was chat of meeting (I was keen) but on second phone conversation they asked for some shots of me, and did not reciprocate - I feel as though I've been naive.
It's all well and good to engage in some titilation based upon modern media, but if you don't know who you're talking to then there is a LARGE degree of vulnerability - I guess I had come to expect bad behaviour from single guys (no offence lads) - as I know a lot of gentlemen behave exceptionally well.
However - I'm VERY new to this, and single and female and really could do with some advice on how to proceed. I'm very interested in swinging and find if a very 'exciting' prospect - but I want to be sensible and safe, for myself and others.
All and any advice VERY welcome.
Excuse the capitals - not meant as shouting. xoxo

26 Sep 2005

Hi Ambervixen and welcome to SH.
Reading your post it seems you already have a firm grasp of the etiquette of swinging as a single female. Phone call verification etc should be something that you always do in order to ensure your own safety. Another safety aspect is to let a close friend know what you are doing so that you can ring them once you get to a meet just to let them know everything is ok and in order.
I am of the opinion that the munches are the best way for newcomers - and in particular single females - to get out there meeting people but in a very safe and controlled environment. That way you can arrange to meet someone at a munch and if they aren't what you are looking for you can politely let them know and still have a great night out.
As with all things in life you are going to get good and bad and there are people out there who have their own hidden agendas - learning how to spot them takes time and unfortunately you may well get caught out by them once or twice before you know how to spot them. As a single female you have every right to ask for someone's photos before giving out yours, but you don't always know if the photo you are sent is of the actual person you are talking to - but you can ask the regulars in here if they know a certain individual / couple and you will get an honest answer.
Have fun and I hope to meet you at a munch somewhere in the near future.
Regards
Wishy. xxx

26 Sep 2005

Hi Ambervixen, welcome and enjoy smile

Can't really add anymore to wishes post, except to say that sometimes this is when a webcam can help.
You have obviously thought about what you are doing, hence the phone conversations, but maybe if you could see the couple on a cam, it would help to show that they are indeed who they say they are.
Still by far the best (safest and most straight forward) way of meeting people is at a munch. We have had one experience so far with what we are looking for (MMFat present) with someone we found through an ad,and whilst it was ok, we have decided not to do anymore till we can meet people at a munch, as we feel this is the best way to go.
Get yourself known, and get invited, we hope to see you at one someday :).

26 Sep 2005

Welcome to the asylum, ambervixen.
Wise words from Wishmaster and Him'nHer.
Particularly the "safety call" and munch points raised.
I agree, munches are and should be an excellent way for newer members to meet, see and talk to lots of people. Other newer members, middlebies and oldbies alike.
I would say tho, don't get too tangled up by the "too new to munch" catch 22 headache. There are also usually plenty of smaller, less intimidating social gatherings organised around the country.
Remember rule number 1.
(IMO) Only answer and tell, about yourself, what you are comfortable so to do.
Kick back, relax, and join in the banter and bollox of the place. You'll be fine.

26 Sep 2005

Quote by ambervixen

Hey there. I recently engaged in some 'online' and then some telephone banter with a couple I was interested in. I have read about the 'advice' on this site and on a few other sites - and tried to be careful - i.e. no face shots, check voices, speak on phone etc.
However, in fairness my first phone conversation was a whole lot more intimate than I would have liked initially, and there was chat of meeting (I was keen) but on second phone conversation they asked for some shots of me, and did not reciprocate - I feel as though I've been naive.
It's all well and good to engage in some titilation based upon modern media, but if you don't know who you're talking to then there is a LARGE degree of vulnerability - I guess I had come to expect bad behaviour from single guys (no offence lads) - as I know a lot of gentlemen behave exceptionally well.
However - I'm VERY new to this, and single and female and really could do with some advice on how to proceed. I'm very interested in swinging and find if a very 'exciting' prospect - but I want to be sensible and safe, for myself and others.
All and any advice VERY welcome.
Excuse the capitals - not meant as shouting. xoxo

I think that the advice hereto given is excellent........ and also remember your ultimate defence..... is female intuition...... if you have even the slightest caveat about meeting, chatting, sending photos..... then don't....
equi-princess xxx

26 Sep 2005

wow nice name ....the reason why....
in italian
L'Ambra Vixen = amber vixen
Il Lupo D'Argento = silver wolf
or even Il Lupo Vecchio = silver fox
ive had these names for years hence i shortened it to Dargento for SH as the full name is a bit of a tongue twister......
and you have to admit L'Ambra Vixen has a nice ring to it biggrin

:D
lovely to see another Lupo joining SH ....
as for your post....i think the best advice has already been given and adding more will start to complicate things a tad....as a single guy obviously its not a problem ...well not 1 i am aware of...
i will echo equi-princess though as i think instinct is the key.....if in doubt......bolt smile

dargento

26 Sep 2005

Can't really add to what's gone before. Sound advice, all of it.
Welcome to SH Towers! wink

26 Sep 2005

greets!
the experts have spoken, ill keep my points to myself.