&quot;specialist socials&quot;

28 Jan 2007

Quote by jaymar
Is it me or are people either being so rude or just sticking to their own and not opening up to new people? It does go on I know but not everyone are like that.

I wanted to take this out of another thread as i don't want to hijack someone else's topic
and something i have noticed, but i am wondering if others had......
obviously first of all we had munches, the big occasions when everyone got together... then we started seeing mini-munches.....and local socials.. which again are all inclusive....
but now with the example of "specific socials" (just an example "bbw socials" because there are 3 of them on the 1st page of "lets meet up" not just picking on them because for example i have seen "black on white" socials as well) has it gotten to the stage were we see more "specialist socials" take over from the all inclusive ones??? is it the case where they don't feel comfortable at munches......because as we have always said "a social is just a social" i don't see how this can be to the advantage of sh users in general.... for example one part of the site blocking themselves of from another, when we are one big swinging community......
do for example the "bbw people" feel they don't belong at munches........if so why?
do the people who don't have a local social/munch feel left out when they see a social that is "specific" in there town...... would you still go to these?
basically i think what i am asking is is it a diversive move that is positive or negative for SH????
(i know that private parties are different affairs.... it is just the socials i am asking about)

28 Jan 2007

my first social was a BBW social and for me it was the perfect introduction to the site as a larger lady i knew i would be with other people of similar sizes and only people who like or want to be with BBW's would be there, a purely confidence thing.
i know its only a co-incidence that it was BBW you picked, but what i mean is if its a first timer it could provide more comfort than an all inclusive.
as to wether specialist socials detract from the munchs or being a good or bad thing i dont know, its all down to personal choice and no matter what kind of social/munch it is people will make their own decisions as to if they will attend or not, same as with any of the events.
Earthy xx

28 Jan 2007

Fabio, I do not see this as any sort of division in the "community". Anyone is free to join in chat in the BBW chat room, and I know that quite a few, if not a majority of those on the list for BBW room events have also been to munches, or are down on the lists for some in the future. I don't think it's any more divisive (i.e. not at all) than the SH golf tournament, the SH paintball day, the ten-pin bowling evenings, ice-skating, Rocky Horror Show, and probably other activities I've forgotten.

28 Jan 2007

Aaaaw man Sean, why lift mine!! lol

I was actually sticking up for the numerous people who have complained just lately about feeling ignored. I'm certainly not complaining, not at all.. it doesn't happen to us but I am aware it does happen to others and I don't know why and what I was reinforcing was that not everyone is like that ie., not everyone ignores other people.
As for the munches/socials I cannot possibly comment because we don't go to them by choice, we have nothing against them and have been to one before but for us it just doesn't happen. We're friendly with a few couples who are of the same mind but I certainly wouldn't 'dis' them.
So as for the "specialist" aspect.. I really don't know, maybe you are right maybe people are making a move to familiarity and comfort zones.. who knows. dunno

28 Jan 2007

Quote by fabio grooverider

Is it me or are people either being so rude or just sticking to their own and not opening up to new people? It does go on I know but not everyone are like that.

I wanted to take this out of another thread as i don't want to hijack someone else's topic
and something i have noticed, but i am wondering if others had......
obviously first of all we had munches, the big occasions when everyone got together... then we started seeing mini-munches.....and local socials.. which again are all inclusive....
but now with the example of "specific socials" (just an example "bbw socials" because there are 3 of them on the 1st page of "lets meet up" not just picking on them because for example i have seen "black on white" socials as well) has it gotten to the stage were we see more "specialist socials" take over from the all inclusive ones??? is it the case where they don't feel comfortable at munches......because as we have always said "a social is just a social" i don't see how this can be to the advantage of sh users in general.... for example one part of the site blocking themselves of from another, when we are one big swinging community......
A so called specialist social is the ideal way to meet large numbers of people that share a pacific intrest/like,they are going to be more likely to meet a larger amount of potential swing buddys with the same likes. I dont see how this can be a bad thing or detract from munches or other socials/events as these socials are open to anyone i beleive so not shutting themselfs off.
do for example the "bbw people" feel they don't belong at munches........if so why?
Can only speak for myself as a BBW and say that i have been to a munch,and did worry that i would stand out and not fit in as i am very concious of my BBW label. But would also like to say i had a ball at my first munch and found i was accepted for me and not my were people there of all and intrests and i cant wait till i have the time to get along to another munch.
do the people who don't have a local social/munch feel left out when they see a social that is "specific" in there town...... would you still go to these?
Depends what the pacific social was but if it wasnt a social specific to something i def wouldnt be intrested in, then i may go along.
basically i think what i am asking is is it a diversive move that is positive or negative for SH????
If it brings like minded people together i have no problem with specific socials. In my mind its no diffrent than having the other sections on this site ie: the dogging section.
We are a diverse community and if people feel more comfortable with socials specific to their intrests then thats fine by me. And long live diversity and swinging heaven biggrin

(i know that private parties are different affairs.... it is just the socials i am asking about)

29 Jan 2007

As in any large group with one common interest such as swinging, smaller groups will form out of having a variety of interests - just like the chatrooms, whether that's by location or interest.
Having attended a couple of munches/socials now, I'm thinking a social just for swingles might be a great idea. C'mon single swingers, if you think it's something you'd want, shout and let's add another 'diverse' social to the calendar lol

29 Jan 2007

Quote by hornyinslough
As in any large group with one common interest such as swinging, smaller groups will form out of having a variety of interests - just like the chatrooms, whether that's by location or interest.
Having attended a couple of munches/socials now, I'm thinking a social just for swingles might be a great idea. C'mon single swingers, if you think it's something you'd want, shout and let's add another 'diverse' social to the calendar

If it helps me infiltrate the PP then I'm game :twisted:
:lol:

29 Jan 2007

Quote by hornyinslough
As in any large group with one common interest such as swinging, smaller groups will form out of having a variety of interests - just like the chatrooms, whether that's by location or interest.
Having attended a couple of munches/socials now, I'm thinking a social just for swingles might be a great idea. C'mon single swingers, if you think it's something you'd want, shout and let's add another 'diverse' social to the calendar

Good idea horny :thumbup: ...only thing is there would be likely to be a majority of males. :cry:

29 Jan 2007

Quote by MikeNorth
As in any large group with one common interest such as swinging, smaller groups will form out of having a variety of interests - just like the chatrooms, whether that's by location or interest.
Having attended a couple of munches/socials now, I'm thinking a social just for swingles might be a great idea. C'mon single swingers, if you think it's something you'd want, shout and let's add another 'diverse' social to the calendar

Good idea horny :thumbup: ...only thing is there would be likely to be a majority of males. :cry:
True enough Mike, but half the time they dont turn up!!
biggrin

Although, I wonder how many "single" fems would turn up without hubbies knowledge rolleyes

:shock:

29 Jan 2007

Quote by MikeNorth
As in any large group with one common interest such as swinging, smaller groups will form out of having a variety of interests - just like the chatrooms, whether that's by location or interest.
Having attended a couple of munches/socials now, I'm thinking a social just for swingles might be a great idea. C'mon single swingers, if you think it's something you'd want, shout and let's add another 'diverse' social to the calendar

Good idea horny :thumbup: ...only thing is there would be likely to be a majority of males. :cry:
Great! Well, erh, I mean,I'dlike that :shock: No, you're right needs to be balanced....three to one OK?!
:giggle:

29 Jan 2007

Quote by Manolishi
Although, I wonder how many "single" fems would turn up without hubbies knowledge
:shock:

It could be based on peeps having a single profile...actually, that's a great idea cos it would cut out all those blokes pretending they're a 'couple'! cool

29 Jan 2007

Quote by hornyinslough
Although, I wonder how many "single" fems would turn up without hubbies knowledge
:shock:

It could be based on peeps having a single profile...actually, that's a great idea cos it would cut out all those blokes pretending they're a 'couple'! cool

:D :D :D
Hey, I feel a plan forming .......... :rascal:

29 Jan 2007

Quote by Dlep
As in any large group with one common interest such as swinging, smaller groups will form out of having a variety of interests - just like the chatrooms, whether that's by location or interest.
Having attended a couple of munches/socials now, I'm thinking a social just for swingles might be a great idea. C'mon single swingers, if you think it's something you'd want, shout and let's add another 'diverse' social to the calendar

If it helps me infiltrate the PP then I'm game :twisted:
:lol:
No you can't ! smackbottom

You men can bellyache all you like about the Pussy Posse and it won't make a teaspoon of jizz difference...........YOU AIN'T COMING !!!!! flipa

:giggle:

29 Jan 2007

personally I like the idea of specialist socials and munches...
the larger, inclusive Munches etc seem to work very well at bringing larger mixes of the community together...
...just as long as an edge edge of arrogance doesnt form twixt the different groups...
lp

29 Jan 2007

I quite like the idea of a specialist Socials.....I mean, why not? I think as long as people aren't too strict on who they see there.....that means everyone is theoretically welcome but there would be an overwhelming majority of *Inset Specialist People here*.....
Maybe I should go and look at the BBW Social again :rascal:

29 Jan 2007

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
speacialist socials, i personally dont agree here....
reasons being,
it alieneates people from the bigger comunity, people will only know people in there own sub secition of there intrestets.
I like meeting new people from all parts of the country and finding about there lives, i am not saying that sub-sections wont have this but the amount of people would potentially be smaller.
Personally the idea of a munch for me is to get to know people that you might not have met before, and mayby that based on forum or chat might nopt get the chance to meet.
Mike

29 Jan 2007

Quote by MikeC
it alieneates people from the bigger comunity, people will only know people in there own sub secition of there intrestets.

And being known only in the circle of people that interests them is a bad thing because dunno

29 Jan 2007

Quote by DreamerHelen
I quite like the idea of a specialist Socials.....I mean, why not? I think as long as people aren't too strict on who they see there.....that means everyone is theoretically welcome but there would be an overwhelming majority of *Inset Specialist People here*.....

Same thoughts here Helen and having a BBW or similar room could ease some people into the swinging scene with socials because they feel more comfortable being with people similar to themselves or with people who might like what they are confused

As long as no one is excluded does it really matter dunno

29 Jan 2007

Quote by MikeC
it alieneates people from the bigger comunity, people will only know people in there own sub secition of there intrestets.

Not sure I agree hunni. I've seen ( and posted on ) threads about bikers, I've seen loads of BBW threads, gang bang threads, bukkake parties etc etc. Just because I'm not into bukkake, 6 in a bed etc, I don't feel alienated one bit by others wanting to have fun with people of the same interest, much the same as I don't feel alienated by bi fems who only play as a couple and not singles. Some people don't like the idea of attending munches and socials at all but I'm sure they don't feel left out either.
It's the diversity that makes the community interesting. Let's keep that
:thumbup:

29 Jan 2007

well fabs think really you know the answers to your thread mate as the 2 munchs you have done and between us and you the socials we have had between us ,all were welcome and very succesfull cany few turning up,we aint into specialist socials we just into turn up have a laugh and a drink get to know each other ,i think as we all take each other as we are thats why we have been very successful so people if you see the post put ya name doon. lol

by the way sean good post :lol:

29 Jan 2007

If you think about how munches started on here, I think the individual chatsrooms are evolving in a similar way.
It's natural for a group of people who have been chatting to each other for a while to say "Hey why don't we get together sometime?"
If you're in a room such as "The Devon & Cornwall" room, I can see the practicality of wanting to get to know people from your area - particularly if travelling is difficult.
I know the Derby socials started up from the Derby chatroom, but TBH the organiser has always had "The more the merrier" attitude and although I'm not a big chatter, I'd feel quite comfortable asking for an invite and I know I'd be made to feel welcome.
The organiser of the Derby socials (and regular attendees) also attend other munch & social events so I don't think they're shutting themselves off from the rest of the community, it's just that the majority of the time it's more practical for them to meet locally

29 Jan 2007

I have been to "local socials" and offered to help at them so if fully understand if people who are local want to interact with others.....whether that is scotland, devon and cornwall, or the north east, wales, london ect..... but most of these are all inclusive.... so everyone goes
i think it was the breaking it down into further "sub-sections" again was what i was more curious of.....less people it applies to, less people that will go....however i suppose then you meet others like yourself (i am not really one for "labels".....heck i see myself as a big fat black dude me!! smile

)
is it a sort off trade off happening? and is it worth it?
for example... just from what i see... and not picking on anyone in particular... i see that someone is trying to plan a social in liverpool..... good for them and i hope it goes well... but by labelling it a "BBW social in liverpool" i do think they are missng a great oppotunity,
people in south wales have been crying out for a social for years...... one finally looks like it is going to happen but again it is being labelled as a "BBW social in south wales" again i feel they are missing a trick here.....
for example will people who don't feel as if they are in the BBW scene, whatever that may be, still want to attend? hence the closing themselves off remarks i put in the original post....

29 Jan 2007

Fabio mate i think u put in to words what i meant....
i have often put my name down for NW socials and mids socials even though i live over 100 miles away. I was not having a go about sub sections of location as this in my eyes kinda acceptable, if people sill want to travel they can,
what i was reading in to this is like bbw room, or blackmale on while female ( a room i spend a lot of time in). would i not go to a bbw social if it was local, proabbly not, if i was free and some people were there i wud like to meet i would go
i think socials if the organiser is ok with you coming, should be open to all....
Mike

29 Jan 2007

I know the original thread is talking about "specific socials" but it got me feeling really guilty reading the replies. Im organising a London social in May and ive said in the original thread that i will probably cap the amount of single guys going as it may turn out to become a jolly boys outing. Is it wrong of me to do this? dunno

i do know that some people do get put off attending some socials when they see the amount of single guys attending. Me personally, i say, the more the merrier, theres more to get to know and therefore increases the chances of finding someone who we may wish to get to know better. If i were to exlude people would it then make the social "specific". I dont want to exclude anyone and i dont want anyone to feel excluded. How do you feel about ratios being set at socials? Do you like them or loave them? Are they fair or unfair?
Louise xx

29 Jan 2007

Quote by louise_and_joe
I dont want to exclude anyone and i dont want anyone to feel excluded. How do you feel about ratios being set at socials? Do you like them or loave them? Are they fair or unfair?
Louise xx

I can see why you wouldn't want a large majority of just single guys, but to be honest of all the social events I've been to that's never ever happened.
If you look on the first page of some of the munch threads and look through the names of the attendees, you'll see what I mean.
There always seems to be a good balance. If it were me I'd just open it up to everyone and see how it goes, but if you find you are getting a disproportionate number of single guys, you can always cap it then.

29 Jan 2007

I remember once arranging a social in Milton Keynes some time ago, where there were 2 females and 22 males :P :P and they all turned up and were all charming and we all have a great night of chatting and laughing.
lol

29 Jan 2007

Quote by louise_and_joe
I know the original thread is talking about "specific socials" but it got me feeling really guilty reading the replies. Im organising a London social in May and ive said in the original thread that i will probably cap the amount of single guys going as it may turn out to become a jolly boys outing. Is it wrong of me to do this? i do know that some people do get put off attending some socials when they see the amount of single guys attending. Me personally, i say, the more the merrier, theres more to get to know and therefore increases the chances of finding someone who we may wish to get to know better. If i were to exlude people would it then make the social "specific". I dont want to exclude anyone and i dont want anyone to feel excluded. How do you feel about ratios being set at socials? Do you like them or loave them? Are they fair or unfair?
Louise xx

Hi Louise, if you are the organiser of a social event on here, you are free to set the qualifications how you like, and doctor the proportions of single males, couples, etc, as you see fit. Just as long as you don't call it a munch, which must always be open to all established members iaccording to the SH rules.
There has always been a school of thought on here that says, hey, if it's just a social event, why does it matter whether there's a particular mix of singles or couples? It is a very good question IMO, but you are free to go ahead and doctor the numbers if you like, people who object will just find something else to go to instead - it's not as though there's a shortage of things organised
Good luck with your event,
Mike.

29 Jan 2007

Quote by fabio grooverider
is it the case where they don't feel comfortable at munches......because as we have always said "a social is just a social" i don't see how this can be to the advantage of sh users in general.... for example one part of the site blocking themselves of from another, when we are one big swinging community......
do for example the "bbw people" feel they don't belong at munches........if so why?

Tackling the BBW issue, which is a personal one to me, I think its a two issues. Firstly, a lot of BBW (and BBM for that matter) have self esteem issues -not all though I might add, but I am honest enough to admit that I do to a certain degree. Luckily enough I just get on with it as I enjoy being sociable and having a laugh but I can understand that shyness and being BBW are not a winning combination for making the step from virtual chatting to munching. I think its more to do with the individual people than the scene itself as neither the missus or me have ever found anyone at the socials and munches we've been to anything less than welcoming and friendly.
The second thing is just the base element of it all - finding swinging partners. The assumption is that you are more likely to make an initial contact with potential play partners at a meet where it is clear that everyone is going to be of a certain persuasion i.e. almost exclusively BBW or WhiteF for Black M etc. whether a munch or social. Everyone knows the meets aren't for play or necessarily a cruising ground but acquaintances are made and in a fair few cases can/do lead to more. In terms of the BBW meets I think part of the motivation of BBW's want to go somewhere where they don't feel as conscious of their size as everyone is the same/similar or interested in the bigger built person.
I don't think people feel marginalised to the point that they have to arrange specific meets or are intentionally wanting to segregate themselves from the rest of the site/community, I think its more about people using the flexibility and openness of both the site and the scene/lifestyle to find what they are looking for. Again, the two aren't mutually exclusive either, personally we've not been to any of the specialist meets but thats not to say that we wouldn't in the future.
just my 2p btw bolt

29 Jan 2007

Quote by lavabubble
I don't think people feel marginalised to the point that they have to arrange specific meets or are intentionally wanting to segregate themselves from the rest of the site/community, I think its more about people using the flexibility and openness of both the site and the scene/lifestyle to find what they are looking for. Again, the two aren't mutually exclusive either, personally we've not been to any of the specialist meets but thats not to say that we wouldn't in the future.
just my 2p btw

:worship: :worship:
I was going to type something, but could not have put it as eloquently as this, so I will shut up and quote it wink

31 Jan 2007

Just being devils advocate here. Its mentioned that some mini munches are for folk who like men/women who are black.
Arent these the most divisive of all. Does some people's inclination for black people flow from a negative rather than a positive place. For example some people say that they love anal sex cos they feel it is naughty/prohibited. I know that Kanye West or Spike Lee could articulate this far better than I could as a white fella.
Just to be clear im not racist! Thought this would be one hell of a poser to throw into the discussion.
Pizza