Random bar meets, what should you do?

31 May 2011

I've got a question about random meets in bars. Recently when I have been out I'm pretty sure I have been hit on by swinging couples. There is one bar I go to regularly and I believe that there have been three couples in there who have shown a interest. My question is who should make the first move and what should I say if this happens. Things are generally complicated by fact that i am often in a bar with friends who dont know i have a interest in swinging. The signals i see are a lot of eye contact from the lady of the couple. She will often talk to the guy and they will both look at me, as if they talking about me. I often move a short distance away from them and see if they move to where i am to dance. At this point they generally kiss each other and then move closer to me to dance. Again the lady will look at me directly and the man occasionally. Some time they will swap place so the guy is closer to me. I guess this is to work out if im straight or not. I always totally ignore the guy as im straight. after a while if i think the couple are up for it i tell the guy that i think his girl friend hot and make a little small talk. This is where things tend to get awkward. I would like to ask them if they are swingers but i don't want to offend them if they are not. Also because i have friends there who don't swing i get little nervous about them seeing what's going on. Should i be asking them or they be asking me. And is there a discrete way of handling things when im around my friends?

31 May 2011

Yes very awkward. Could you not avoid this by simply going to a swingers club?

31 May 2011

I've been to a club before had a good time, and after the experience I think i'm just generally more aware of the people around me. I'm confident enough in what I look like and the way i conduct myself to believe that there was more too it than just people thinking im a bit strange. Like I say I did have a chat with some of these people. It just felt we were waiting for someone to make a move and it never happened. Maybe i just need to be a bit more bold and mention that I swing? Or is that not the done thing?

1 Jun 2011

If we were in a pub and a guy kept making eyes at me across the bar, then obviously I would be very flattered and if he was good looking then my body language would say it all. It wouldn't mean that I wanted to take him back and jump his bones and it certainly doesn't mean that Mr Fun would let me!!
If we had a chat about the guy who had kept eyeing me up all night and Mr Fun asked me if I wanted a 3sum then one of us would discreetly approach him and ask and if he wanted to join us, then it would be up to him to make his excuses to get away from his mates. We wouldn't particularly need to know if the guy has had a 3sum before or was in fact a swinger. It has happened before and I'm sure will happen again.
Approaching a guy and telling him that his girlfriend is hot is a compliment. Approaching a guy and telling him you are a swinger and would love to fuck his Mrs could end badly!!
I would wait for them to make the move!!

1 Jun 2011

i never go out in a vanilla enviroment with any intention of wanting to be approached or to approach anyone with the intention of swinging. i would be flattered to be told i was hot or looked nice but wouldnt take things further. at a swingers club is different as everyone knows what is going on and things are easier, in the real world i am in a relationship and would see any approach as a threat to that as thats not what i am looking for,
just as you were with your mates so could they be and doubt that they would want attention drawn to them in that way even if they was swingers.

1 Jun 2011

Thanks for the advice smile