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Real live porn?

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Dirtygirly
Sex God
I've been thinking again... and I decided that I'd not done an essay thinking out loud for a while. So here you go! :O)
I watch porn from time to time... it varies in content, usually from fetish to gay stuff... I rarely watch lesbian porn... sometimes threesomes, sometimes anal, sometimes just straight couples. Anyway... that's mainly to establish that I do actually watch porn on screen and get off on it every time. :rascal:
However, it would appear that I'm a bit particular about real live porn... which surprised me a little cause I thought I was more of a watcher than a be watched sort. I went to a club last week with a swinging buddy. I'm a bit of a novice to the club scene so I'm still a little out of my comfort zone there and that might actually be part of it.
We went into the couples room and just stood at the side to watch. The first time we went in there were two couples there, one man was going down on his partner and the other couple were having sex. There was another couple on the little bench at the side just watching. Watching was clearly doing something for my friend yet I couldn't actually decide whether to look at the floor or fidget (I'm good at that!) or actually what to do with myself so when he asked if I would like to keep wandering I nearly jumped out the room head first! rolleyes redface
We went back a little later on and there were three couples... one of the women was giggling a lot and it kinda made me feel a little less awkward. To me its meant to be fun and when it's all serious like it was the first time we went in, I was no more horny than I would be if I was watching paint dry. So then I started to think about my taste in porn. It was all there, a cd giving a bloke a blow job, a couple (same one as before) and he was still going down there... man that's staying power... and the giggling couple. I might have been tempted by them in another situation right enough but I still wasn't getting off on watching any of them. Now given that I quite like to watch porn on screen, I couldn't really understand why I wasn't finding it a turn on in a real live situation. I still can't. The idea flicks a switch but the reality of being in the same room watching as opposed to being behind a TV screen just doesn't do anything for me at all. Same thing when we went into the jacuzzi and a lady there was fucking a bloke with another one on each side of her clearly doing some nipple touching. Nothing, other than the notion to giggle a bit but I thought that would be highly inappropriate and a little bit rude so I managed to refrain. lol
So my question is... do you prefer real live porn that you're up close and personal with rather than the stuff on the TV/online that you're watching in private? I wonder if it's because people are seeing me watching that makes me uncomfortable with it. confused Do you think it's hornier to watch in real time even if there's no chance you'll join in?
dunno
vampanya
Orgasminator
I think you hit the nail on the head at the beginning. If you're still new to clubs and as you said you're out of your comfort zone it could be just that! It might be hard to feel horny or get turned on when you're sill in your head saying 'Oooh fuck! This is a bit mad'. And until you feel relaxed and comfortable you just wont get there.
Maybe you feel a little under pressure to do something yourself or that just standing there isn't quite right.
I'd give it some more time, maybe watch from a little further away so you dont feel like you're being watched watching. Work on feeling comfortable without trying to feel horny too, once that happens the rest may well just drop into place on its own.
biggrin It took me a good few club visits to get over the freaking out in my head factor. wink
SinSi
Sex God
When you're watching porn (whatever that is?! innocent) is anyone else with you? It could well be the extra peeps factor? Or is could be that with porn you can simply fast forward to the juicy parts blast :smoke:
duncanlondon
Sex God
If people are having sex for real, its not porn is it? Its what it is, not produced for your entertainment?
meat2pleaseu
Sex God
Maybe 'you've been there, done that' etc dunno
i remember being at one of the many swing parties that used to happen on this site. I was sat next to *him* from couplefun, i think he was wearing a dress at the time, having been hyjacked by some of the slightly drunken lushes at said party who thought it was a good idea to dress him up (i could be slightly wrong with the exact facts, many years ago, piss poor memory and all that....) anyway, I was sat next to *Him* and about 6 feet away was a 3 way licky lady les fest going on, all fingers, tongues, groping and kissing, every hetro mans fantasy scenario.....except that me and *Him* were having an in depth discussion on the joys of the small block V8 engine. To me, sitting in a hotel room with 20 people, chatting to a bloke in a dress while people get it on a few feet away is kinda normal now, so maybe thats why i looked and went 'Meh!'
What i'm kinda trying to get at is that you get used to things happening or used to that sort of thing happening. Also, when you're watching porn you've probably made the choice to watch it because you have 'that feeling' and you're in the mood, in your own home and totally relaxed. in the club, you're a little uncomfortable and therefore possibly not in a mood condusive to getting the 'orn.
Glad to see yer mojo has at least popped its head up out of the trenches again :rascal:
alaninuk
Sexlightened
Hi Dirty
I am in agreement with Anya. Being new to clubs the whole situation is unusual. How about watching through a window – maybe that would be different as they can’t see you and you aren’t quite in the action. I presume that fact that many clubs have viewing windows for some rooms meant that other people feel the same way. I would assume that this is still part of our upbringing. Just about anyone brought up in the UK who is over 25 would have in the back of the mind that it is ‘just plain wrong to be in the same room as people having sex.’ But oddly watching porn is far more acceptable. Typical screwed up values of the British people. I say above 25 as I wouldn’t be at all surprised if the younger generation who have been brought up on endless sex scandals by footballers and the like have a slightly different attitude. But I am probably wrong the ‘daily mail’ classes may have made it worse !
As regards giggling – I do know what you mean – often it is just hilarious to watch but yes giggling in play rooms seems to be frowned on !
I guess the question also is did you get around to playing in the club – basically were you relaxed enough to do that.
Of course the other factor is – who want to watch rather than join in……..
OK I will go back to the corner and be quiet now
Unknown User
Oh Dirtygirl.. what an interesting question!
To say it's complex would state the obvious.. like you we have seen people fucking and walked past, because it just didn't turn us on.. in fact we went to a couples hotel in the summer where there was plenty of action around the pool.. but you know, when you have just had your cornflakes or petit dejeuner, do you really want to see some hairy assed guy nailing his partner by the pool?! Time, place and context are all important..
I think also, familiarity doesn't help.. I was nearly 30 before I saw my first porn film.. wow was that hot, even in VHS format with all the snow! We were seeing something from the voyeur's perspective, something perhaps we were not involved with other than as spectators not known to the participants.. we could turn on when we were turned on... people having sex in clubs openly do so often because they want you to watch, but you are not invited, there is no foreplay.. it's there and often, as you found, it doesn't work... But if you had chatted with a couple at the bar and talked and they had said, we would really like you to watch.. you had worked up to that, might not that have been different?... or if they were having sex covertly, but you saw them, might that not be more erotic?...
So, I think it's difficult to draw a conclusion for everyone.. we are all different and you need to find what does and doesn't work.. it will be fun finding out!
E
motorcyclerob
Sexpert
I'm gonna go with the consensus here. You said you were out of your comfort zone and that will affect how you react to everything. Watching Porn is "safe" everything is under control you can pause, rewind and press stop if you like.
In a club you're not the only one affecting what happens so it can take a while before you realise you're safe there too and can let go a bit. In my book that just makes it more fun that random things can happen. When you know ( or feel ) you're respected it will give you the confidence you need.
Regarding the giggling FFS everybody should be having a laugh. If it ain't enjoyable I'd bloody go home !
Dirtygirly
Sex God
Vampy... I suspect you're right, practise makes perfect though right?! lol Maybe I'll get better the more I go. It's certainly made me feel a little more free in my head having had time to reflect since I went.
Sinsi... you're absolutely right too, I only ever watch porn alone. I have just suggested to my swinging buddy that we watch some together, although how long we'll actually watch is a different story! :rascal:
Duncan... I didn't mean any offence by my title and I wouldn't suggest that people were there for my entertainment. I just thought it would be a bigger turn on for me than it was and I wanted to get a view from others about it. I certainly didn't feel like I was there for other people's entertainment when they watched me later on.
Meaty... that so made me laugh! *him* in a dress... I shall investigate that further!! And I'm also very glad that my mojo has made a reappearance, however, I'll be equally happy when it calms down! :twisted:
Alan... you've just made the penny drop that the window that my swinging buddy kept looking through was into that particular room!! :shock: Can't believe I didn't twig before, I didn't think twice about the mirrors in there. :doh: I did get round to playing and I didn't feel nearly as weird about doing that in front of other people that as I thought I would. It just shows that my thoughts/views/insights have changed quite a lot since I started out. wink
MrEcstatic... I think you're also right - it all seems a little false sometimes. I find eye contact quite difficult because its not really me not to make eye contact or smile at people but I don't want to give out signs that aren't there. I think that will improve with some practise. Maybe going more often will make me feel a little more relaxed each time. I think meeting people and having a chat in the bar or the jacuzzi would have been a whole lot easier for me. I find that chattering to people out on the smoking terrace is great and I have no issues out there. I think too much (surprise surprise) and I found that when I stopped thinking about it and just went with the flow I had a great time. :lol:
Rob... I totally agree on the laughter thing and the girl's partner said that he couldn't take her anywhere. I laughed back and said that it was absolutely fine to laugh... it's meant to be fun right? That sort of lightened the mood a bit for me and as I said, I probably would have played with them, partly because I was way more relaxed with some normality going on.
Thanks for all your replies... I like that my mojo is back... now I need to alter my comfort zone! :rascal:
essex34m
Sex God
Quote by meat2pleaseu
I was sat next to *Him* and about 6 feet away was a 3 way licky lady les fest going on, all fingers, tongues, groping and kissing, every hetro mans fantasy scenario.....except that me and *Him* were having an in depth discussion on the joys of the small block V8 engine. To me, sitting in a hotel room with 20 people, chatting to a bloke in a dress while people get it on a few feet away is kinda normal now, so maybe thats why i looked and went 'Meh!'

Know how that feels, was at a swingers house party, there were three of us talking cars, and the vehicles of choice were BMW 535D, Merc E class and a Volvo.
I made the comment that we were heading for middle age rather rapidly, we all then stood for a moment in silence, in a kind of "whatever happened to me" kinda re-run of our lives, then snapped out of it, and carried on talking about how much we love Radio 2.
I think the normality of it is very much there like you say, plus as time has gone on, these people have gone from usernames, to acquaintances, to fuckbuddies to friends, the comfort level is there, the priorities have changed.
meat2pleaseu
Sex God
Quote by Dirtygirly
Meaty... that so made me laugh! *him* in a dress... I shall investigate that further!! And I'm also very glad that my mojo has made a reappearance, however, I'll be equally happy when it calms down! :twisted:

Might not have been a full dress but he was definitely girlyfied to some degree, not that i'm saying *him* is a crossdresser, just that you ladies can be very forceful and i think it was easier to go along with it to shut them up lol
as for that mojo, don't suppose you're heading to the midlands at any time soon are you? :rascal:
Unknown User
The club we go to has porn playing away in the corner. The last time I went to the club, I noticed that actually the porn on the wall was not particularly turning me on. This is a surprise as I am a horndog who finds the slightest thing horny.
I could quite easily watch the same vid at home and wank away.
To be honest I'm not sure what the reason was, but I was quite horny later on watching a couple playing along side us. In retrospect I think for me it's that I enjoy the involvement. When watching porn I am still involved, I'm imagining my own participation or the participation of my wife or some one I know. I'm not just sitting there watching a painting. However in the club when the porn was on, firstly I was not there to watch porn and secondly it's not like I was about to whip out my cock in the bar area. So I guess time and place that someone else has mentioned.
Where as upstairs, I could enjoy watching whilst playing myself. However if I was sat just watching with no involvement and no urge to be involved I would probably also feel turned off.
However if I was watching with my partner and talking to her about wanting to see her do something similar or for me to join in, that would add to the voyeur experience for me.