Some of you on here will know about the troubles that i had with Mrs Bell before we parted company.
However, during the last few arguments that we had, all the old favourites came out, you know, " your organ is tiny / I didn't realise I would be playing in a cathedral" etc etc
But, one night, after a real vicious slating that I was subjected to, I turned around and said " If you could suck cock as well as you suck the fun out of life, you would be the perfect woman"
Anyway, when I woke up and picked myself up off the floor, I think i won.
Anyone else got some corking argument winners or losers???????????
Bell
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Relationships: The last line.
Sorry to rain on this parade but my lasting final remarks are along the nice side. I do not let there be an argument, I do not insult or belittle (no pun intended) and I really do not want any hard feelings. You/I wish to go, we discussed it like adults, lets part friends or just part, but at no time do I wish to part embittered or as enemies.
Make sure they are packed, offer to take em anywhere they want, and make sure that they can a) get a place to stay b) eat c) have a bit of pocket money.
Several gf's could not handle that and were shocked by my response. At the end of the day I am the only one that has to look at MY reflection in the mirror.
Certifiable Crazy Man - thats me
:loon: :loon: :loon:
I will be going now...
Make sure they are packed, offer to take em anywhere they want, and make sure that they can a) get a place to stay b) eat c) have a bit of pocket money.
Several gf's could not handle that and were shocked by my response. At the end of the day I am the only one that has to look at MY reflection in the mirror.
Certifiable Crazy Man - thats me
:loon: :loon: :loon: I will be going now...
Flipping heck,
Cisco, when I first read your reply i thought I was in the middle of a psychology lecture :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:
But I suppose you did good.
However, the point of this thread was to start a little bit of humourous banter, hence me poking fun at myself, so that people can relate to the funny side of relationship breakdowns and those argument stopping quips..
I think I have lit the blue touch paper........................................................................
Cisco, when I first read your reply i thought I was in the middle of a psychology lecture :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:
But I suppose you did good.
However, the point of this thread was to start a little bit of humourous banter, hence me poking fun at myself, so that people can relate to the funny side of relationship breakdowns and those argument stopping quips..
I think I have lit the blue touch paper........................................................................
Quote by bell412
Some of you on here will know about the troubles that i had with Mrs Bell before we parted company.
However, during the last few arguments that we had, all the old favourites came out, you know, " your organ is tiny / I didn't realise I would be playing in a cathedral" etc etc
But, one night, after a real vicious slating that I was subjected to, I turned around and said " If you could suck cock as well as you suck the fun out of life, you would be the perfect woman"
Anyway, when I woke up and picked myself up off the floor, I think i won.
Anyone else got some corking argument winners or losers???????????
Bell
The one that sticks in my mind is a couple I work with having a blazing argument in the office.
The usual insult went back and forth but her closing remark was.
I wouldn't shag you to scratch my thrush!
Sex God
Quote by KitKatThe funny thing is Bell, 'I love you' at the end of an arguement usually ends up with the same result your comment did. :?
Alot to be said for the good old "Yes Dear"
lhk
Kat
I agree Kat - a multi-purpose line that can be anything from sincere to dripping with sarcasm!
Not that I would ever use sarcasm in an arguement! 8-)
Quote by clair
I wouldn't shag you to scratch my thrush!
:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: I just HAVE to turn that round into a one line chat up
:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
"How about we go back to your place and scratch yer thrush?"
Quote by dambuster
I wouldn't shag you to scratch my thrush!
:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: I just HAVE to turn that round into a one line chat up
:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
"How about we go back to your place and scratch yer thrush?"
:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
Let me know if that ever works
:lol: Quote by dambuster
I just HAVE to turn that round into a one line chat up
:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
"How about we go back to your place and scratch yer thrush?"
Well It's original.
I bet you can honestly say you've never used that one before
i have quite a funny story actually lol
One summer afternonn me and the hubbie was walking home from where ever we had been and was having a bit of a bust up and us being us being out in the open made no odds lol anyway as we was passing a nursing home someone inside must have heard me screaming at him in the street and called the police, well right or wrong being the woman i was auto the victim here and when the cop car pulled up they asked me if i was ok etc so i told them this guy had been stalking me for some time now and was following me and wouldn't leave me alone, to which they cuffed, slung him in the car and took him to the cop shop
One summer afternonn me and the hubbie was walking home from where ever we had been and was having a bit of a bust up and us being us being out in the open made no odds lol anyway as we was passing a nursing home someone inside must have heard me screaming at him in the street and called the police, well right or wrong being the woman i was auto the victim here and when the cop car pulled up they asked me if i was ok etc so i told them this guy had been stalking me for some time now and was following me and wouldn't leave me alone, to which they cuffed, slung him in the car and took him to the cop shop
Quote by naughtynymphos1
i have quite a funny story actually lol
One summer afternonn me and the hubbie was walking home from where ever we had been and was having a bit of a bust up and us being us being out in the open made no odds lol anyway as we was passing a nursing home someone inside must have heard me screaming at him in the street and called the police, well right or wrong being the woman i was auto the victim here and when the cop car pulled up they asked me if i was ok etc so i told them this guy had been stalking me for some time now and was following me and wouldn't leave me alone, to which they cuffed, slung him in the car and took him to the cop shop
Is this your current husband?
If so, fair play to him, I dont think I would have forgiven that!
Sexpert
Quote by Happy Cats
i have quite a funny story actually lol
One summer afternonn me and the hubbie was walking home from where ever we had been and was having a bit of a bust up and us being us being out in the open made no odds lol anyway as we was passing a nursing home someone inside must have heard me screaming at him in the street and called the police, well right or wrong being the woman i was auto the victim here and when the cop car pulled up they asked me if i was ok etc so i told them this guy had been stalking me for some time now and was following me and wouldn't leave me alone, to which they cuffed, slung him in the car and took him to the cop shop
Is this your current husband?
If so, fair play to him, I dont think I would have forgiven that!
ohh i dunno maybe thier were some nice wpc's at the station who took pitty and by the time he got home he was to tired to argue ..
my best finisher..hmmm... well that would be * kuck off im upgrading to a chimp for a more inteligent convosation* or maybe just *what was that dear i could hear you 2 secs ill get the dog to translate from high pitched *
Quote by Happy Cats
i have quite a funny story actually lol
One summer afternonn me and the hubbie was walking home from where ever we had been and was having a bit of a bust up and us being us being out in the open made no odds lol anyway as we was passing a nursing home someone inside must have heard me screaming at him in the street and called the police, well right or wrong being the woman i was auto the victim here and when the cop car pulled up they asked me if i was ok etc so i told them this guy had been stalking me for some time now and was following me and wouldn't leave me alone, to which they cuffed, slung him in the car and took him to the cop shop
Is this your current husband?
If so, fair play to him, I dont think I would have forgiven that!
yes we are still together not only that we have got married since that happened lol
I use to be married to a violent alcoholic. I worked in a nightclub at the time. After excaping to work after a vicious hiding and then returning to the apartment to collect my child and clothes I was greeted by the vicious ex. He came steaming down the passage, the only word I made out was the word bitch. I opened the door fully. The ex stop dead in his tracks, turned and almost ran back to bed. I'd brought a doorman home with me. No need to say a thing :mrgreen:
Quote by Libra+Love
I use to be married to a violent alcoholic. I worked in a nightclub at the time. After excaping to work after a vicious hiding and then returning to the apartment to collect my child and clothes I was greeted by the vicious ex. He came steaming down the passage, the only word I made out was the word bitch. I opened the door fully. The ex stop dead in his tracks, turned and almost ran back to bed. I'd brought a doorman home with me. No need to say a thing :mrgreen:
Your ex sounds like a real tough guy. Bullies are so predictable aren't they?
I hope that the doorman "had a little chat" with him!!
The best parting shot I have had was with an ex who 3 weeks after us breaking up spotted me in my car with another lady, sat at the traffic lights. My ex jumped out of her car, ran over to mine and jumped on the bonnet, clinging there screaming at me. When the lights changed and the cars behind us started honking their horns, she jumped off and punched the bonnet of my car as hard as she could, then went down in a heap clutching her hand.
My new g/f and I had to drive her to the local A&E where I sat with her for nearly 6 hours. She had broken two knuckles and a couple of bones in her hand.
Her family turned up damanding to know what I had done to her. My new g/f stormed out and has not spoken to me from that day to this.
Who said break-ups were complicated things?
Warming the Bed
Quote by Calista
My parting shot was not verbal
C x
Wow! That's a decisive split!
peaches said a corker the other day.
after she,d been to pick up the last of her things from the guy she was with from his place. she got a txt from him about an hour later saying, fancy one last fuck for old times sake?.
her reply...no thanks ive got the one back that ive been missing all the time while i was with you cya!
x rache x
after she,d been to pick up the last of her things from the guy she was with from his place. she got a txt from him about an hour later saying, fancy one last fuck for old times sake?.
her reply...no thanks ive got the one back that ive been missing all the time while i was with you cya!
x rache x
Warming the Bed
lol
Quote by BigDanny12999
I use to be married to a violent alcoholic. I worked in a nightclub at the time. After excaping to work after a vicious hiding and then returning to the apartment to collect my child and clothes I was greeted by the vicious ex. He came steaming down the passage, the only word I made out was the word bitch. I opened the door fully. The ex stop dead in his tracks, turned and almost ran back to bed. I'd brought a doorman home with me. No need to say a thing :mrgreen:
Your ex sounds like a real tough guy. Bullies are so predictable aren't they?
I hope that the doorman "had a little chat" with him!!
He did :hunk:
But just to clarify, that was a v long time ago. The first ex-husband. The one the second wife shot at :shock:
:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: Guess she wins the parting shot.....
Oh God I'm off to write a book.
Quote by rachel-lane+peaches
peaches said a corker the other day.
after she,d been to pick up the last of her things from the guy she was with from his place. she got a txt from him about an hour later saying, fancy one last fuck for old times sake?.
her reply...no thanks ive got the one back that ive been missing all the time while i was with you cya!
x rache x
:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: You got your happiness back. From where I'm sitting it's fantastic to see.
Warm wishes.
