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Revenge! ~ Why sheep are better than women!!

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Sheep don't have a gag reflex, or upper teeth
You can get a better grip on a sheep's ear
Sheep don't shy away from boots and leather
Cotton mouth is easier to get rid of than a social disease
Nuttin' beats mutton
Sheep won't argue about whose turn it is to go get a towel
Sheep won't drink your liquor, smoke your weed, snort your coke, and then tell you they have to be home early
Sheep never ask if you're ready to settle down
Sheep never ask about you former lovers and then get pissed off when you tell them
No matter how old or ugly you are, you can always find a willing ewe
Sheep are never concerned about their reputation
Sheep won't tell all their friends about the time you couldn't get it up
Sheep won't ask if you're gay the first time you can't get it up for the second time
Sheep never insist on eating out
You'll never catch your sheep masturbating to a picture of Mel Gibson
Sheep don't get suspicious if you have to work late
Sheep don't smell like tuna fish
Sheep don't get moody once a month
You can eat a lamb chop without getting wool stuck in your teeth
A sheep doesn't expect you to support her for the rest of her life after one roll in the hay
A sheep never wears curlers and a mud pack to bed
A sheep doesn't stop screwing after the honeymoon
A sheep won't get drunk and throw up in your car
A sheep won't think that a weekend stay-over entitles her to rearrange your furniture and put up new curtains
A sheep won't expect you to pay...and pay...and pay...and pay
A sheep will never complain about the spittoon in your pickup
A sheep will never throw out your old copies of Playboy
A sheep won't care of you keep your fish bait in the refrigerator
A sheep won't get even with you by spending your paycheck on new clothes, one of which are see-through or meant to be worn in the bedroom
A sheep will never sue you for palimony
A sheep won't care if you screw her sister
A sheep won't care if your secretary is better looking than she is
A sheep will never tell you the ceiling needs to be painted while you're screwing
A sheep won't use you razor to shave its legs, or your pocketknife to open a paint can
Sheep never have a headache
A sheep won't give your favorite hunting shirt to Goodwill
A sheep won't leave wet nylons hanging all over the bathroom
A sheep will never ask you to stop on the way home from work and pick up a box of tampons
Sheep grow their own fur coats
A sheep will never leave a vibrator on the living room couch when you're having friends over to watch football
Sheep won't cheat on you with your best friend
A sheep will never ask if you'll still respect her in the morning
Sheep aren't into talking before or after sex
A sheep never yells at you for leaving the lid up
A sheep won't send you out for batteries for her vibrator
A sheep doesn't think it's demeaning or kinky to do it doggy style
A sheep won't mind if you put up mirrors in the bedroom
Sheep are "ram tough"
A sheep won't think your cheap and tacky if you: send daisies instead of long-stemmed red roses, tip less than 20%, wear Levis with a hole in the seat, open beer bottles with your teeth
Sheep don't mind if you leave the lights on
Sheep don't mind doing it in the morning
Sheep don't mind doing it in a pickup truck
A sheep will never use the excuse that: she just did her nails, it's too hot, it's too cold, you'll wake the kids, you'll wake the neighbors, she's too drunk to enjoy it, she's not drunk enough to enjoy it
A sheep will never leave you for a cucumber
So you prefer sheep then??? :shock:
Quote by fruity1976
So you prefer sheep then??? :shock:

I dunno! But my mate Taffy told me not to knock it till I tried it!!
Well guess thats on the agenda for the near future then?? confused lol
OMG !!! :shock:
I'm gonna Slap you now !! I have a dear friend and family in the facinity that way ! lol
Quote by fruity1976
Well guess thats on the agenda for the near future then?? confused lol

LOL, as long as I don't have to catch the bugger!
Aparently a lassoo is needed to catch her, Levi 501's so she can't hear you unzip, and velcro pants to stop her runnin!! rotflmao
Quote by MrsFC
OMG !!! :shock:
I'm gonna Slap you now !! I have a dear friend and family in the facinity that way ! lol

the same vacinity as a sheep??? :twisted:
Yeah ..yeah...but they are total shite at ironing a good cotton shirt so I'm sticking with what I've got.
Quote by MrsFC
OMG !!! :shock:
I'm gonna Slap you now !! I have a dear friend and family in the facinity that way ! lol

can I borrow his wellies??? biggrin
Quote by BrightonGeezer
OMG !!! :shock:
I'm gonna Slap you now !! I have a dear friend and family in the facinity that way ! lol

can I borrow his wellies??? biggrin
heh sexist!! maybe its a she :P :P :P :lol:
Quote by fruity1976
OMG !!! :shock:
I'm gonna Slap you now !! I have a dear friend and family in the facinity that way ! lol

can I borrow his wellies??? biggrin
heh sexist!! maybe its a she :P :P :P :lol:
Ooops! Never thought of that!! I'm very Baaaaaahd!
Oi!!!!!!!!!!!!
smackbottom :smackbottom: :smackbottom: :smackbottom: :smackbottom:
:sparring: duel :kick:
flounces
Kitty xx
very very Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad lol
Quote by KcKat
Oi!!!!!!!!!!!!
smackbottom :smackbottom: :smackbottom: :smackbottom: :smackbottom:
:sparring: duel :kick:
flounces
Kitty xx

Ouch! Fuck it, don't stop!! :twisted:
heh first women now sheep now back to women!! Some people never happy!! See couldnt get a sheep to spank you now could you!!!
Quote by fruity1976
heh first women now sheep now back to women!! Some people never happy!! See couldnt get a sheep to spank you now could you!!!

I was never confused! :confused:
rotflmao
no no no! smackbottom i very nearly made a joke about Malham Cove, a 1000 foot drop, and pushing back! :shock:
course i'd be really dumb and crass to post summat like that eh? rolleyes ;)
:doh:
n x x x :P
'Scuse me while I take me wellies off!!
Oi! A sheep can't give you a good whipping like a Kitty can. I know I've tried (the sheep confused ) - I'm waiting fer confirmation from a Kitty.
Quote by westerross
I know I've tried (the sheep confused ) .

Oh really?? With or without consent?? And did ewe go down on her first?????????
Not that I'm curious like!!! :shock:
Quote by vodka_babe22uk
all i can say is wheres the mint jelly for my roast lamb

Now that is what I call a useful animal. You can fuck it & then eat it......... & wear the fleece :shock: biggrin
And they bounce if you chuck them off a cliff rotflmao :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
Please note the post is intended to be humorous, & I apologise for any offence caused to any sheep who happens to read it, whether they be Texel, Scottish Blackface, Cheviot, Leicester Blue, or any other breed. redface
Quote by HungryP
, whether they be Texel, Scottish Blackface, Cheviot, Leicester Blue, or any other breed. redface

Blimey! We have a resident sheep expert!! :shock:
you think its OK to know that much about sheep!!!
Vodkababe are you a farmer?? lol
Now come on folks, can you resist such a gorgeous babe:

:P wink
Quote by BrightonGeezer
Sheep don't smell like tuna fish

:shock: confused
I beg to differ... i just stuck my finger in my c**t and it really doesn't smell of tuna fish or any fish for that matter.. smile
Quote by Maia

Sheep don't smell like tuna fish

:shock: confused
I beg to differ... i just stuck my finger in my c**t and it really doesn't smell of tuna fish or any fish for that matter.. smile
I do hope it was hot and wet though!
The whole article was a cut and paste off another site, I posted it in responce to some of the threads posted against us guys, who are getting a bad rap at the moment! ;)
Does the sheep expect to be entertained in the bah first?
You really have had some bad experiences with women...Believe not all women can be compaed to sheep. I buy my own tampons, got rechargable batteries and only sleep with ya best mate if your there!!!! An dthats just to name a few!
Rechargeable batteries? I didn't know tampons came in electric versions. :P
For anyone who is interested ( and beleive me I hope it's no-one!) sheep outnumber people in New Zealand and we could arrange a charter flight for a big party there.
No cameras though.....
The sheep in the picture has rather large balls for a babe smile
People joke about it, but does anyone know for sure that it really happens.