Right, who nicked it???

6 Apr 2005

It was there last week!! :shock:
I am certain I still had it on Sunday, and I am quite sure I used it on Monday, but that was the last I saw of it!! :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:
I have been down to the SH Lost Property Office to see if it has been handed in, but alas, after searching for hours, I had to admit it wasn't there. I found Mal's white socks, Misschief's cardigan, Warwicks Marbles (but no sign of Warwick(s) !!!!), one of Davej's kids, a pair of Judy's knickers (I wonder who handed those in??!!), a dusty copy of Venus' Job Reference, WBB's Guide to using the 24 hour clock, 6 goldfish and Debbiewebs' dictionary!! confused

:? :? :? :?
I marched down to Mark's Office to see if he knew where it was, but he said he hadn't seen it for quite some time.
I stormed into the Chatroom, woke Steveg up to see if he knew where it was, then frisked Shireen to make sure she didn't have it. While I was in there I twiddled a few buttons just to make it even more difficult to register for the Chatroom, just because that's the kind of guy I am!!! lol

:lol: :lol: :lol:
I came to the conclusion that one of you had nicked it, but which one of you was it??? :? :? :? :?
I decided to draw up a short list (no, not you Venus, I meant that the list was short not ..... rolleyes

:roll: ) of suspects.
Debbiewebs - Because she hates me anyway !! :shock: :shock:
Blondeslave - Because I locked her strange thread!! :? :? :?
Pololady - Just because.............!! :? :? :?
Little Gem - Because she wanted an argument !! :roll: :roll: :roll:
Alexandra - Because I always take ages to answer her PMs !!
Venus - Because she is Venus!! flipa

:flipa: :flipa:
Those of you that are the slightest bit observant will have noticed that all these suspects are female. That is because I cannot believe that the person that did this would be one of the blokes.
So, now I have my suspects, I have decided to offer a reward for information leading to the safe return of what is rightly mine.
I am now in a position to offer some white socks, a cardigan, some marbles, a kid, a pair of knickers (Xtra Large), a fake job reference, a Guide to using the 24 hour clock, 6 goldfish and a dictionary as a reward to the first person that can reunite me with ........................................... .......................................................................................................... ................................................................. my sense of humour!!!! mad

:x :x :x :x :x :x :taz: :taz: :taz: :taz:

6 Apr 2005

Could it be down my cleavage?? You'll need to send Will in to do a search and recover raid but he could be some time!
redface

ops:
:happy:

6 Apr 2005

Maybe it's been nicked by that Burko bloke dunno

6 Apr 2005

I saw someone stuffing something up his shirt earlier, I think it was that Blixo (new fella, may have gone to copy it for himself)...don't you have a master copy?

6 Apr 2005

Or then again maybe it wasn't nicked at all, but somehow abducted to drag you into one of those deep and dark conspiracy theoroies.
John
cool

6 Apr 2005

Quote by Sgt Bilko
I stormed into the Chatroom, woke Steveg up to see if he knew where it was, then frisked Shireen to make sure she didn't have it. While I was in there I twiddled a few buttons just to make it even more difficult to register for the Chatroom, just because that's the kind of guy I am!!! :lol: :lol: :lol:

You frisked me???.... :shock: :shock: :shock: Shit I never even noticed confused

:?
Oh and Sarge... The knobs you twiddled??.... They were for the central heating... You just turned it up a little thats all

:rotflmao: :rotflmao:
Shireen
xxx

6 Apr 2005

I was told you didn't have one lol

:lol: :lol: :lol:
Anyhow you are quite welcome to borrow mine......if I had one wink

:shock: :shock: confused

6 Apr 2005

Quote by Jags
Could it be down my cleavage?? You'll need to send Will in to do a search and recover raid but he could be some time!

:doh: Bollox!! I forgot about THERE!! :doh:
Where's Kat when you need him ??? confused

:? :? :?
Right chaps, I need three volunteers kitted out in climbing gear, to scale the Twin Peaks to search for the missing item!!
Only the bravest need apply !!!! :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:
Be afraid - be very afraid !! :eeek: :eeek: :eeek:

6 Apr 2005

its in the bubble <------
pop it to get it back

6 Apr 2005

If I see it i'll let you know...Can you give more details like was it sharp or maybe dry or
good or bad????

6 Apr 2005

Quote by Shireen_Mids
I stormed into the Chatroom, woke Steveg up to see if he knew where it was, then frisked Shireen to make sure she didn't have it. While I was in there I twiddled a few buttons just to make it even more difficult to register for the Chatroom, just because that's the kind of guy I am!!! :lol: :lol: :lol:

You frisked me???.... :shock: :shock: :shock: Shit I never even noticed confused

:?
Oh and Sarge... The knobs you twiddled??.... They were for the central heating... You just turned it up a little thats all

:rotflmao: :rotflmao:
Shireen
xxx
No!! Those were the two knobs I twiddled while I was frisking you!! (You could hang your coat on them!!) :? :? :?

6 Apr 2005

I think I saw Missy knock it over when she :bounce:
Dawn dunno

6 Apr 2005

Quote by Sgt Bilko
Could it be down my cleavage?? You'll need to send Will in to do a search and recover raid but he could be some time!

:doh: Bollox!! I forgot about THERE!! :doh:
Where's Kat when you need him ??? confused

:? :? :?
Right chaps, I need three volunteers kitted out in climbing gear, to scale the Twin Peaks to search for the missing item!!
Only the bravest need apply !!!! :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:
Be afraid - be very afraid !! :eeek: :eeek: :eeek:
They could be smothered to death so oxygen masks are required. And they could reach the parts other parts couldn't reach so they need to be prepared to sacrifice themselves for the sake of Pulko's sense of humour.
:crazy: :crazy:

6 Apr 2005

Quote by Sgt Bilko
I stormed into the Chatroom, woke Steveg up to see if he knew where it was, then frisked Shireen to make sure she didn't have it. While I was in there I twiddled a few buttons just to make it even more difficult to register for the Chatroom, just because that's the kind of guy I am!!! :lol: :lol: :lol:

You frisked me???.... :shock: :shock: :shock: Shit I never even noticed confused

:?
Oh and Sarge... The knobs you twiddled??.... They were for the central heating... You just turned it up a little thats all

:rotflmao: :rotflmao:
Shireen
xxx
No!! Those were the two knobs I twiddled while I was frisking you!! (You could hang your coat on them!!) :? :? :?
OOOh!!! there it goes quick catch it somone ......before it damages somthin....

6 Apr 2005

OK..............OK.......................... So as well as locking my sexy little thread.................. u r also saying I am strange ????
I wonder if I will find your sense of humour when I lose my virginity ????

6 Apr 2005

I could tell you, but that would mean that I'd win one of the kids back which is a shite prize, I'm doing my best to get shot of em, mind you the white socks might just tempt me, Cos the summer is coming and my sandals just don't look right when I wear them with the black socks.
It's likely that you havn't actually lost it, but that it's wandered off on it's own. Mine pissed off a few weeks ago, searched high and low for the bugger and only found it by accident in Tesco's car park after following mrs davej there and waiting until she had gone into the shop before leaving my car there and nicking hers, the old sense of humour just jumped in the motor with me, cos I giggled all the way home, even laughed out loud when she rang to say her motor was nicked.
Just sit tight and it will turn up.

6 Apr 2005

Quote by Sgt Bilko
No!! Those were the two knobs I twiddled while I was frisking you!! (You could hang your coat on them!!) :? :?

You mean the buttons on my cardigan?? dunno

Shireen
xxx

6 Apr 2005

Quote by davej
Mine pissed off a few weeks ago, searched high and low for the bugger and only found it by accident in Tesco's car park after following mrs davej there and waiting until she had gone into the shop before leaving my car there and nicking hers, the old sense of humour just jumped in the motor with me, cos I giggled all the way home, even laughed out loud when she rang to say her motor was nicked.
Just sit tight and it will turn up.

:shock: You really did that? lol

:lol:

6 Apr 2005

Now Sarge, I take great offense I do. Fake job reference indeed! Just because one of my five week placements became a thirteen month placement upon my CV doesn't indicate the ensuing reference was fake. It was merely what we refer to in the trade as 'upholstered'.
I am also very disappointed to note that that you have left Mr 'very much in touch with his feminineside' Leeds out of your equation, who, correct me if I am wrong, was seen rampaging around the Cafe last night in charge of a very suspect sense of humour.
I believe said Leeds has also kept a pretty low profile today. A clear indication of a guilty concience!
I rest my case :smug:
Venusxxx

6 Apr 2005

Right I think I know where it is :happy: :happy:
have a rummage through here and I reckon you will come across it
http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/swingers-forum/viewtopic/37151.html

6 Apr 2005

Quote by davej
Right I think I know where it is :happy: :happy:
have a rummage through here and I reckon you will come across it
http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/swingers-forum/viewtopic/37151.html

:rotflmao: :rotflmao:
Thinks Sarge will be gone for a very long time looking for it in there :giggle:
Shireen
xxx

6 Apr 2005

Sarge, I had one for breakfast last week, but the bloke i got it off in the pub said it was from a woman in Spain so I dont think it was yours. It came with a free pen too, look...

6 Apr 2005

You are so careless Sarge. rolleyes

What are you going to do if some unscrupulous person gets their hands on it hey?
Did you think about that confused

Jas
XXX

6 Apr 2005

Quote by Jas-Tim
You are so careless Sarge.
What are you going to do if some unscrupulous person gets their hands on it hey?
Did you think about that
Jas
XXX

Jas, ALL my suspects are unscrupulous !!! :? :? :? :? :? :?

6 Apr 2005

Just admit it - you're going senile and you just can't remember where you put it. :P
Accusing all those poor innocent females, you should be ashamed of yourself

:smackbottom:
Jas
XXX

6 Apr 2005

Quote by Sgt Bilko
You are so careless Sarge.
What are you going to do if some unscrupulous person gets their hands on it hey?
Did you think about that
Jas
XXX

Jas, ALL my suspects are unscrupulous !!! :? :? :? :? :? :?
Oi, I am not unscrupulous........ fgs........... I cant even spell it !!!
OMG....... I just did...........
blondeslave faints

7 Apr 2005

sarge, don't worry about it. i once lost my sense of humour, but there's a remedy for it.
well, you know how you can get piggy heart valves, and roger743 had a pig's knob grafted on ((( though not too sure how that worked out? not much mention of his piggy penis these days so maybe he rejected it? dunno

))) well you can get pigs funny bones transplanted these days on the NHS! biggrin

all you have to do is buy some piggy forelegs, get the butcher to bone out the legs, then get the funny bones transplanted. it's quite economical, cos you get the makings of a nutritious evening meal with the left over trotters! course not everyone gets the piggy sense of humour. all depends if you found pinky and perky sort of amusing, which i did, but then i was only about 5 at the time.
anyways, i hope this helps, and you're suitably reassured sarge. smile

oink!
neil x x x ;)

7 Apr 2005

I suspect Clares got it and won't give it back till you agree to come to the Notts until then your screwed :shock: :shock:

7 Apr 2005

Quote by Steve_Lincs
I suspect Clares got it and won't give it back till you agree to come to the Notts until then your screwed :shock: :shock:

Are you saying Im actually funny then :shock: :shock: :shock:
I may well have it,but its somewhere soooo well hidden that itll never be found again :evil2:

7 Apr 2005

Quote by Sgt Bilko
Where's Kate when you need him ??? :? :? :?

Where I always am Sarge! rolleyes

I've scaled the vast peaks of the Pleasure Mountains which survey the world with their majesty, plunged between them into the deepest Chasm of Joy, toiled across the splendour of the vast Plains of Paradise and awed at the vibrancy of the dark Jungle of Snatch (BTW - Jags, you need to get the hedge trimmer out). I've faced dangers untold and yea, though I even walked through the Valley of Blissful Death, my quest was in vain. The fabled golden chalice of humour hath eluded me. sad

lhk
Kat
P.S. I've not checked the Crack of Doom yet, I'm off there now. But please please please don't make me search the dread Pits of Arm. :uhoh: