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Rite or Wrong ?

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Hi Guys. If you dont know me my name is tony. i have been here for a while now listening and putting my view accross every now and then. I have owened up to being a single guy with a girlfriend who has no idea about my thoughts regarding sexual freedom.
tonight i came clean and tried to explain how much fun it may be. Well! she hit the roof. we are not talking and i feel real bad. what should i do.? I love my baby, maybe there are differternt ways to bring the subject up.
How did you guys persuede your loved one????
Help
Tony
Ah Tony, a very bad predicament, for sure! Sounds like you spoke too soon. I suggest you wait another 10 years and then reapproach the subject...
This is something you may only experience by doing. You and your partner will now go through a period of stress and change at the very least. However, you may invoke a situation that could escalate beyond what you currently imagine. It may seem neat and good for you now, but maybe not so later, and lead you into a life that you don't expect.
The answer in short is................You cant...
You cant persuade someone into swinging......They either want it or they dont..
Has she hit the roof about swinging or has she hit the roof about you doing it behind her back??
Has she hit the roof about swinging or has she hit the roof about you doing it behind her back??

Its just the idea, i have not done anything behind her back apart from visiting this site. and yes i have been tempted to try something.
It's difficult for women to seperate love and sex that is the crux.

Think that is a bit harsh to say its women who find it hard to seperate the two, i think we all do but with mutual concent maybe things are easier to differentiate.
Thanks for your replies
Tony
Quote by Hokum
The truth is that men are always more receptable to the idea of swinging than it is men that broach the subject not women. It's difficult for women to seperate love and sex that is the crux.

Woah! I am so glad you are here to tell us all how we feel. rolleyes
I think you may find that there are more than a few couples here wherein the female was the one to first mention doing something 'out of the ordinary'.
Me (at age 19) to male friend: Oh, God here comes xxxxx.. bloody men, always confusing love and sex!
Male friend: Don't sleep with them then.
Me: :shock: confused
How did you guys persuede your loved one????
Help
Tony

I didn't persuade him, it was something we both thought about for a long time. You can't and shouldn't even be trying to persuade her confused
Quote by Hokum
You'll never persuade a woman who is not into swinging to start.
The truth is that men are always more receptable to the idea of swinging than it is men that broach the subject not women. It's difficult for women to seperate love and sex that is the crux.
.

Nonsense, men are not the ones who, always btoach the subject first. How can you make such a sweeping generalisation?
And as for it being more difficult for women to seperate love and sex believe me its not for all of us!!
Quote by TonyED
Hi Guys. If you dont know me my name is tony. i have been here for a while now listening and putting my view accross every now and then. I have owened up to being a single guy with a girlfriend who has no idea about my thoughts regarding sexual freedom.
tonight i came clean and tried to explain how much fun it may be. Well! she hit the roof. we are not talking and i feel real bad. what should i do.? I love my baby, maybe there are differternt ways to bring the subject up.
How did you guys persuede your loved one????
Help
Tony

Comeon, how can you persuade someone into something like that?
Reminds me of an episode of the Simpsons where Homer thinks he can trick Marge into taking him back.
See what I'm saying?
I've been in clubs and experienced at close hand couples where the female obviously did not want to be there. I think women can be persuaded to go along with all sorts of things they don't really want to, just because they want to please their man.
In my case I have had no problems separating love from sex, on the contrary it caused a lot of difficulties because my ex husband couldn't do it. I have always been the sort of person who could do 'nsa' sex just for the hell of it.
Quote by MQ
In my case I have had no problems separating love from sex, on the contrary it caused a lot of difficulties because my ex husband couldn't do it. I have always been the sort of person who could do 'nsa' sex just for the hell of it.

Know of several men for whom this has been a problem.
Quote by PoloLady
I said ... I want to suck your cock - not I want to wash your socks for the rest of my life!

Yep, I think I have got the separating thing sorted. lol
Hokum - I am not saying I agree with what I said! Far from it. It is a very sad sight to behold.
Quote by Hokum
Is this what happens when someone voices an opinion here ? We disallow opinions in debate because of gender ??
Everything IMO only.

Everything in your IMO only, well guess what, others are allowed them as well irregardless of gender :shock:
No one has disallowed your opinion, it's still there for all to view.
What they have done is disagree with your sweeping generalisation.
I disagree with it as well and no, I'm not representative of all women, but i'm possibly more representative of womens feelings than you.
Jas
XXX
Quote by Hokum
Is this what happens when someone voices an opinion here ? We disallow opinions in debate because of gender ??

Part of the joy of debating is that we as human beings do disagree sometimes. There will be differences in opinion - if there were not, it would be a boring place indeed.
Don't go in a huff because someone else sees it from another point of view.
Now Jas - what was that you were saying about feeling women :twisted:
I'm not representative of all woman, but i'm possibly more representative of women's feelings than you.

No doubt about that Moderator.
But how is my geralisation sweeping when it is expressed as a generalisation and not couched as a general rule ?
others are allowed them as well irregardless of gender

Did I suggest otherwise ?
No.
As your post only barely touched on the actual topic I can only assume that this is an example of your unbias moderation.
Quote by Hokum
I'm not representative of all woman, but i'm possibly more representative of women's feelings than you.

No doubt about that Moderator.
Glad you agree, my name is Jas by the way
But how is my geralisation sweeping when it is expressed as a generalisation and not couched as a general rule ?
It's difficult for women to seperate love and sex that is the crux.

Well my understanding of that sentence was " The fundamental issue is that women find it difficult to seperate love and sex" seemed like a pretty sweeping generalisation to me
others are allowed them as well irregardless of gender

Did I suggest otherwise ?
No.
I think you did when you suggested that your opinion was being disallowed because of your gender.
As your post only barely touched on the actual topic I can only assume that this is an example of your unbias moderation.
No it was an example of my personal feelings on what you posted, I'm allowed opinions as well.
Jas
To put this discussion back on track. biggrin
I think you have done the right thing telling your girlfriend you would be interested in swinging - just make sure she knows that you love her just as much and that you have no intention of doing anything behind her back. It is very difficult and ultimately pointless to persuade someone who really doesn't want to swing to try it, however if you and her continue to talk about you fantasies and desires she might find the idea becomes more exciting.
A few things I can think of though that might help -
1) Do not keep pestering her or trying to persuade her - if she is interested it will need to be when she is comfortable with the idea.
2) If you have not already, show her this site including all your posts so she can see what you are talking about - openess is a key thing when it comes to swinging and if she sees you aren't trying to keep secrets she will be much more able to trust you.
3) Ask her if the idea of two men pleasureing her is a turn on - quite a lot of women asume swinging is about men getting a bit on the side, they can view it very differently once they realise that it is an oportunity for them to try out some of their wilder fantasies.
Roger the Dragon.