Just a thought....
Is there any way that we could verify each other as genuine couples? I think Steveg was saying something in the chatroom yesterday about verifying single males, but I think it would be good for couples too.
It could limit the timewasters and make the most for us genuine lot!
Love Fran
xxxxxxxxx
Join the most popular community of UK swingers now
Login
root out the timewasters???
Mod
Morning Fran 
This was discussed a few months ago, can't remember exactly. Some of the problems were
How do you verify the verifier?
Would it become too clicky?
How would you verify them, star rating?
I don't want to open up the whole debate again now (too early!), could be discussed tonight though, when you can verify me :grin:
THE MUNCH IS NEARLY HERE!!!!!!!
Mal
This was discussed a few months ago, can't remember exactly. Some of the problems were
How do you verify the verifier?
Would it become too clicky?
How would you verify them, star rating?
I don't want to open up the whole debate again now (too early!), could be discussed tonight though, when you can verify me :grin:
THE MUNCH IS NEARLY HERE!!!!!!!
Mal
:shock: Well I am sorry you have had time wasters Fran, it must be because I am not as intelligent as I would like to be but I just cannot understand why there are times wasters. I mean we are all adults and surely are here for a reason and not just to see if we can cause problems for the genuine couples, singles of either sex. I guess I have much to learn.
Fran I wish you all the luck I can spare (not alot at the moment (looks at his little black book (remembers why he doesn't have one)oh well) but whatever luck that is spare is coming your way).
Oh this is to all the people going to the nw munch see you there and to quote the Jesus " Party on Dude"!!!!!!!!!!
:twisted:
Fran I wish you all the luck I can spare (not alot at the moment (looks at his little black book (remembers why he doesn't have one)oh well) but whatever luck that is spare is coming your way).
Oh this is to all the people going to the nw munch see you there and to quote the Jesus " Party on Dude"!!!!!!!!!!
:twisted: Appreciate all the points raised, and have a few ideas on them, but just wanted to say a system of whatever make up, used by the vast majority of us honestly and truthfully has to be better than no system at all. Have seen it work on other sites, useful cross referencing in chat room etc, so maybe it is a debate worth persuing.
As you say Mal...I can verify a few of you tonight...oh and if Fred reads this no sarky remarks young man!
Fran
xxxx
As you say Mal...I can verify a few of you tonight...oh and if Fred reads this no sarky remarks young man!
Fran
xxxx
Sex God
We did discuss this some time ago and came to the conclusion that verification wouldn't be fair to newbies, people who had been trying for ages but hadn't managed a meet yet, and those that only do occassional meets. What about those, such as me, who do private meets rarely but who goes to a lot of clubs to meet people who have never heard of SH (is that REALLY possible these days?), or those who simply come on here to chat and maybe keep an eye on the dogging section for something interesting in their area. As we're all looking for different things, and swing in a lot of different ways (if at all), who can say what verification should be anyway?
If someone had to verify me, who would it be (down boy :twisted: )???
If someone had to verify me, who would it be (down boy :twisted: )???
Sex God
I think you can consider yourself verified, Paul :twisted: 8)
Mod
OK Bluexxx
you're verified too
Mal
you're verified too
Mal
Sex God
So are you, Mal 8) , so....who's next for verification???? :twisted: I could always incorporate the verification process with the initiation ceremony - kill two birds with one stone, as they say!
Orgasminator
we think it would be a good idea as we were talking to someone saying they were a woman but they were a man very annoying 
this was in the chat room blue, I know what you mean, but verification is just an added layer that helps the newbies and the occasional private meets have that little bit more confidence in the people who frequent the site. Verification needn't just comes from meets, it could come from things like attendance at parties/munches etc. It could come with involvement in the site through the forum and the like. Having a system won't prevent those who aren't verified from having success and it won't weed out all the timewasters, it just shows another face of the site and the people on it.
As to developing cliques, well that has been said of the Forum more than once, and as a group of people develop friendships such exchanges can appear to the outsider and newbies a little cliquey, however, one of the very reasons we are here is because we are looking for new friends and all are welcome. Thus, a seriously interested party soon learns that they are more than welcome and soon become part of the scene.
To condemn a system without giving it a go seems a little blinkered, what damage could it do to try? It may work (as it does on some sites), it may not on here, who knows, but if we create a stronger, open and confident community then that has to be for the good of all who visit the site.
Stu (of the "Fran and "variety
As to developing cliques, well that has been said of the Forum more than once, and as a group of people develop friendships such exchanges can appear to the outsider and newbies a little cliquey, however, one of the very reasons we are here is because we are looking for new friends and all are welcome. Thus, a seriously interested party soon learns that they are more than welcome and soon become part of the scene.
To condemn a system without giving it a go seems a little blinkered, what damage could it do to try? It may work (as it does on some sites), it may not on here, who knows, but if we create a stronger, open and confident community then that has to be for the good of all who visit the site.
Stu (of the "Fran and "variety
Orgasminator
you could verify couples by talking to each other in a phone call talk to both partners I think verification can only realy be done on a site like this by members giving feedback on experiences with other you'd for example tell everyone here that Biscuit is one of the nicest,best looking,honest and humorous shags any of you have ever had...and mr(affix name her) was a winding up maybe a board of shame or something.
Sexpert
Maybe there can be an option (like on Amazon) to put "user reviews" on peoples profiles, where people can comment on each other and their dealings with them.
Of course I guess there is nothing stopping someone with "bad writeups" from making another profile with fake info in, but thats the internet all over. There is nothing in this world that will stop a lot of people lying and making things up to try and get their way.
I can't see the point myself - people can take me how they find me (yes please!) or not at all. I am just me, thats all there is too it really, and I dont think I'm such a bad egg.
Liers always get found out in the end, especially when it comes to meeting, and you have told the other person you have the body of a Greek god/godess and its total bull.
Verification is a good idea in theory but can be tricky in practice.
Of course I guess there is nothing stopping someone with "bad writeups" from making another profile with fake info in, but thats the internet all over. There is nothing in this world that will stop a lot of people lying and making things up to try and get their way.
I can't see the point myself - people can take me how they find me (yes please!) or not at all. I am just me, thats all there is too it really, and I dont think I'm such a bad egg.
Liers always get found out in the end, especially when it comes to meeting, and you have told the other person you have the body of a Greek god/godess and its total bull.
Verification is a good idea in theory but can be tricky in practice.
Sex God
WHOA!!!!!! Just let's think about this a minute! Verifying someone as a genuine person is one thing, and an idea that I woul (reluctantly) support if there was enough support for it. However, user reviews is a VERY VERY bad idea for a number of reasons. This isn't a site like Amazon, which sells books, it's a bit more personal than that! I think people would be put off meeting anyone off this site if they thought their "performance" was going to be reviewed afterwards. You certainly wouldn't get me to meet any of you if that was the case!!!!!!!
I've had loads of experiences with guys, all of whom were genuine geezers, they were polite, clean, turned up on time etc etc. Some experiences were good, a couple were very good, but some didn't exactly set the world alight - for a whole host of reasons, not his fault or mine, just one of those things. Now imagine if I'd met all those guys from SH. Imagine after each one I wrote a review of the experience. Imagine how gutted some of the guys would be if they saw that they weren't in fact the stud of the year, and I only gave them, say 6 out of 10, while the guy I'd had two nights before got 8 out of 10, and the lucky chap from last week got a sum total of 96. Doesn't sound fair, does it?
Andy is right too, people will lie. Simple as that.
I've had loads of experiences with guys, all of whom were genuine geezers, they were polite, clean, turned up on time etc etc. Some experiences were good, a couple were very good, but some didn't exactly set the world alight - for a whole host of reasons, not his fault or mine, just one of those things. Now imagine if I'd met all those guys from SH. Imagine after each one I wrote a review of the experience. Imagine how gutted some of the guys would be if they saw that they weren't in fact the stud of the year, and I only gave them, say 6 out of 10, while the guy I'd had two nights before got 8 out of 10, and the lucky chap from last week got a sum total of 96. Doesn't sound fair, does it?
Andy is right too, people will lie. Simple as that.
So true bluexxx , its also a personal thing some people may realy light each other up because they are alike were as others will just be ok , its a matter of chemistry.
But I have to say any time I have spent on replies that did not amount to anything , was not time wasted as I have meet some quite wonderful people through these efforts.
but if this is wasting time then I'm off to waste some more 8)
But I have to say any time I have spent on replies that did not amount to anything , was not time wasted as I have meet some quite wonderful people through these efforts.
but if this is wasting time then I'm off to waste some more 8)
Sexlightened
Well from a newbie point of view i have to agree with most of your views
fran(who i mailed and was at least polite enough to say no thank you (hi hun xx)) makes a good point if a newbie comes on site it would be nice to speak to those genuine people who may offer good advice and guidance as opposed to some 15 yr old knocking one out whilst drooling over frans pics (mmmm)
the idea of ratings is waaaaaaaaay bad for 2 reasons 1 personal taste and 2 to all of you not as talented but still wonderful people youd only get one meet a poor review and off to the scrapheap of lurve for you
as for the site being cliquey i posted a while ago and instantly had replies from those nice flinstones if it was as bad as people made out id be thrown into the realms of oblivion by now
as far as i can gather the site works well people do meet (even i got laid the other week) and the chatroom whilst very very fast is still fun to go in (PLEASE CAN WE BE ABLE TO LINK DIRECT TO PROFILES SOON THO)
anyway i must save my energy for all the couples and ladies getting ready to write to me wanting my attentions (please form an orderly queue we dont want there being any accidents in the rush)
good luck to all and most of all be safe xxxx
Andy xxx 38188 or rookie2003 in the chatroom
fran(who i mailed and was at least polite enough to say no thank you (hi hun xx)) makes a good point if a newbie comes on site it would be nice to speak to those genuine people who may offer good advice and guidance as opposed to some 15 yr old knocking one out whilst drooling over frans pics (mmmm)
the idea of ratings is waaaaaaaaay bad for 2 reasons 1 personal taste and 2 to all of you not as talented but still wonderful people youd only get one meet a poor review and off to the scrapheap of lurve for you
as for the site being cliquey i posted a while ago and instantly had replies from those nice flinstones if it was as bad as people made out id be thrown into the realms of oblivion by now
as far as i can gather the site works well people do meet (even i got laid the other week) and the chatroom whilst very very fast is still fun to go in (PLEASE CAN WE BE ABLE TO LINK DIRECT TO PROFILES SOON THO)
anyway i must save my energy for all the couples and ladies getting ready to write to me wanting my attentions (please form an orderly queue we dont want there being any accidents in the rush)
good luck to all and most of all be safe xxxx
Andy xxx 38188 or rookie2003 in the chatroom
Sexpert
EEK! I didnt mean review as in performance, I meant in the way of how they come across and how they are as a person. Some people are nice and genuine and honest, and on the internet in real life there are the people who are not so nice and not so genuine and not so honest.
I mean such things as has a person broke promises, been caught out lying about marital status etc, or have they been ignorant or stood you up without a valid reason and without letting you know.
And on the plus side, where they fun to be with and good company, did they make you smile, are they easy to talk to, always kept their word.
I never meant anything like size, shape, staying power, or anything so unimportant as that which as you say would be totally unfair on people.
I judge people, and decide who I want to have as friends and be around on their actions and their treatment of others, not on shallow things, and I'm sure I'm not the only one.
I'm sure it would be open to abuse as is anything else, and you are probably right that its a bad idea but it was just something thought of in passing - I dont think there is any fair way of "validating people" other than dealing with them for yourselves probably.
And you are right that this place definately isnt Amazon. LOL. And I'm glad too.
Sorry if my idea sounded dire, just throwing it up in the air and to be honest didnt really put much thought into it. Thanks for shooting me down before I hurt myself.
I mean such things as has a person broke promises, been caught out lying about marital status etc, or have they been ignorant or stood you up without a valid reason and without letting you know.
And on the plus side, where they fun to be with and good company, did they make you smile, are they easy to talk to, always kept their word.
I never meant anything like size, shape, staying power, or anything so unimportant as that which as you say would be totally unfair on people.
I judge people, and decide who I want to have as friends and be around on their actions and their treatment of others, not on shallow things, and I'm sure I'm not the only one.
I'm sure it would be open to abuse as is anything else, and you are probably right that its a bad idea but it was just something thought of in passing - I dont think there is any fair way of "validating people" other than dealing with them for yourselves probably.
And you are right that this place definately isnt Amazon. LOL. And I'm glad too.
Sorry if my idea sounded dire, just throwing it up in the air and to be honest didnt really put much thought into it. Thanks for shooting me down before I hurt myself.
This is a really difficult one. If we are careful and also unselfish in reporting problem people by the correct procedures we may reduce a lot of problems. Verification is not gonna be a practical proposition. At first I considered an e-bay type rating system, but any system is likely to be open to abuse. Then of course we must consider that this site is operated by volunteers, not staffed 24/7. I think that Frans concerns are fully justified.
I will also admit to being politely declined by Fran ( but still dream of the possibilities) 8) Thankyou Fran for your courtesy xx. Blu makes some very good points. ( Now...if I was near Lancs xx ) Maybe we could consider a reporting system where we advise the moderators of individuals who fail to turn up without giving an explanation... Multiple reports could mean that the individual gets locked out. This could apply to various difficulties that arise eg: I recently had an email comversion with an (apparently) sexy female but I felt there was something 'not right' and let it go. The bottom line seems to be that we are in a grown up world and have to accept the risks of our activities.
I will also admit to being politely declined by Fran ( but still dream of the possibilities) 8) Thankyou Fran for your courtesy xx. Blu makes some very good points. ( Now...if I was near Lancs xx
) Maybe we could consider a reporting system where we advise the moderators of individuals who fail to turn up without giving an explanation... Multiple reports could mean that the individual gets locked out. This could apply to various difficulties that arise eg: I recently had an email comversion with an (apparently) sexy female but I felt there was something 'not right' and let it go. The bottom line seems to be that we are in a grown up world and have to accept the risks of our activities. I am in agreement with Blue ( as Usual ) ( That's scarey!!!)
As a relatve Newbie here myself I feel that part of the fun of this site is attempting to suss out people. I have neither met nor spoken to anyone from SH, yet I am sure that most people have already formed an opinion of me, as I have of them.
I would hate for someone else to take over that decision making process for me, though I suppose I would take into account other peoples opinions.
I believe "If it's not broken, don't fix it" and I think that applies here.
As a relatve Newbie here myself I feel that part of the fun of this site is attempting to suss out people. I have neither met nor spoken to anyone from SH, yet I am sure that most people have already formed an opinion of me, as I have of them.
I would hate for someone else to take over that decision making process for me, though I suppose I would take into account other peoples opinions.
I believe "If it's not broken, don't fix it" and I think that applies here.
Quote by The totally correct Sgt Bilko
I would hate for someone else to take over that decision making process for me, though I suppose I would take into account other peoples opinions.
I believe "If it's not broken, don't fix it" and I think that applies here.
May I step out of the ranks and second that, Sarge.
Objective rating of a very subjective thing {lust and attraction} is virtually unusable - our own radars are pretty good most times.
If people waste time or not meet they will soon come to be known and, if a regular on here, liable to be ostracised anyway.
It's not just sex that benefits from group power.....
Carpathian
Ok, this thread has totally gone beyond anything we had contemplated in terms of verification. God forbid we should ever see ratings on performance, personality or any such thing. We were merely thinking that we have met some great people from this site, we hope they feel the same about us. It would be nice if we could recognise their genuine interest in this scene and vice-versa. A marker, star, tick etc against a profile was about the level we were thinking of. LOL, didn't think we might get a mark out of 10, but then Fran does like her Schoolgirl Uniform, so who knows .
We just felt that having a system that would help put people at ease contacting others, (ok any system is open to and can be abused and we are not naive enough to think otherwise, but it isn't necessarily a pre condition) and would help all of us to feel comfortable in our exchanges, particularly newbies.
Verification wouldn't stop the unverified from being contacted and succeeding in having fun(have to say we had success despite not being verified on another site), it would merely be a voluntary action on the part of those who wished to indicate some level of trust etc.
Who Knows, who cares? Its just nice to "chew the fat" over an issue or two! Mark says on the front page about ideas/constuctive criticism to improve the site...we all have had our share of timewasters etc...just thought is there a way to develop the community further..hmmm..how about verification, whoops isn't this where we came in?
Stu of the "Fran and" variety
.We just felt that having a system that would help put people at ease contacting others, (ok any system is open to and can be abused and we are not naive enough to think otherwise, but it isn't necessarily a pre condition) and would help all of us to feel comfortable in our exchanges, particularly newbies.
Verification wouldn't stop the unverified from being contacted and succeeding in having fun(have to say we had success despite not being verified on another site), it would merely be a voluntary action on the part of those who wished to indicate some level of trust etc.
Who Knows, who cares? Its just nice to "chew the fat" over an issue or two! Mark says on the front page about ideas/constuctive criticism to improve the site...we all have had our share of timewasters etc...just thought is there a way to develop the community further..hmmm..how about verification, whoops isn't this where we came in?
Stu of the "Fran and" variety
PS to Sarge Bilko
If you have been one of the unfortunate people who have been stood up, had your time wasted, had people trying to take you for a mug and the like, then maybe they might feel.."fix this...it's broken!" Lol...sorry couldn't resist it!
Stu of the "Fran and" variety.
I believe "If it's not broken, don't fix it" and I think that applies here.
If you have been one of the unfortunate people who have been stood up, had your time wasted, had people trying to take you for a mug and the like, then maybe they might feel.."fix this...it's broken!" Lol...sorry couldn't resist it!
Stu of the "Fran and" variety.
Mod
Quote by bluexxx
Now imagine if I'd met all those guys from SH. Imagine after each one I wrote a review of the experience. Imagine how gutted some of the guys would be if they saw that they weren't in fact the stud of the year, and I only gave them, say 6 out of 10, while the guy I'd had two nights before got 8 out of 10, and the lucky chap from last week got a sum total of 96. Doesn't sound fair, does it?
96!
Mal
Sex God
Well, I've never been that good at maths :doh:
Mod
:rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose:
Mal
Mal
I have to agree with Fran after my experence last week. I replyed to a photo ad stating that a "First Time" cpl would like to meet a single guy for 3som. After an email and exchange of mobile number all I kept getting was this guy wanting a meet without his "partner" when I insisted on a meet first with both of them in a pub first the messages and call stopped. I can only assume that there never was a "partner" and this was a single guy prehaps bi wanting a bit of fun. I am all up for a bit of fun however with what I see as fun and what posts offer as fun. Why don't people just be honest and one day it will prove to be the best policy. By the way the post has been removed as I was going to report it as incorrect. Sorry to rant in one of my first posting but it just made me mad
Facialfran and Tobyjug
I am disappointed that you have been messed about and had your time wasted. I do sympathise and don't really know what the answer is.
You are quite right Stu. If I was in that position I possibly would feel the way that you do. I don't claim to have the answers, but I do have an opinion on suggestions that are aired in this forum. I'm just not sure that the suggestion that was being made was the best one possible. I did not want to enflame the anger that you obviously have towards these time-wasters and if I did, I apologise.
I am disappointed that you have been messed about and had your time wasted. I do sympathise and don't really know what the answer is.
If you have been one of the unfortunate people who have been stood up, had your time wasted, had people trying to take you for a mug and the like, then maybe they might feel.."fix this...it's broken!"
You are quite right Stu. If I was in that position I possibly would feel the way that you do. I don't claim to have the answers, but I do have an opinion on suggestions that are aired in this forum. I'm just not sure that the suggestion that was being made was the best one possible. I did not want to enflame the anger that you obviously have towards these time-wasters and if I did, I apologise.
