safe sex

15 May 2004

I am beginning to think I am on a different planet to everyone else.
I have been in contact with a very nice man for the past few weeks, done the email, msn, phone call stuff and up till now been looking forward to meeting him.
Just had a final conversation with him about our arrangements to meet tonight when he said as an afterthought.. â€œohh by the wayâ€¦ I donâ€™t use condoms!â€
Now maybe I am wrong, but I think he left it a bit late in the day to drop this into conversation! rolleyes

When I pointed this out to him he seemed genuinely confused as to why I was so pissed off.
His counter argument was that I had never specifically told him I DID only have sex with condoms.

Personally I always felt that this went without saying and had not felt the need to tell him, however I am now wondering if I am perhaps a bit naive and there are more people practising unsafe sex than I thought.
How do other people feel about this? Do you feel the need to tell people that its safe sex or no sexâ€¦. Or do you like me just assume that it is expected anyway?
As well as the anger about him not telling me this, I have to admit that I am also concerned about his carelessness towards his own and other peoples health. However I guess that is a different debate and as adults everyone has the right to make their own choices regarding their health.. though they are very different to mine!
Suffice to say.. the meet is now cancelled! mad

WBB
x

15 May 2004

Hey HUN....
Perhaps he does not realise that condoms actually increase the timescale to ejaculation in the man...? Now what guy would NOT want the gal to say FURKIN' WOW..and ask for a repeat???
Hope you have NOT divulged the 'granville' part yet...our secret?

15 May 2004

Let's just say that there are quite a few in this game that don't practice the "barrier" method of sexual protection.
I have seen many females in this game that don't like males to wear rubbers.
And many males that happily go-along with the practice.
I also know a few that have had the problems that go along with this redface

15 May 2004

Quote by rocky horror
Hey HUN....
Perhaps he does not realise that condoms actually increase the timescale to ejaculation in the man...? Now what guy would NOT want the gal to say FURKIN' WOW..and ask for a repeat???
Hope you have NOT divulged the 'granville' part yet...our secret?

well without wanting to sound big headed.. its DEF his loss! lol
and i was not prepared to risk it becoming my loss either!
and RH.. i will never share a granville with anyone but you!!!!!!!!! redface

WBB
xxx

15 May 2004

I for one would take it as assumed and implicit that a condom would be used... it's the only way to go...
Just let the guy read this:

!
All the best....

15 May 2004

OH thanks WBB...
I feel all honoured hun....! And I feel like a million squidoolies....MUAH...

15 May 2004

This has happened to me twice, although one guy did tell me he would put a condom on for the sex but would take it off before he ejaculated because he doesn't like to cum in them :shock:
We always practise safe sex but just to make sure I always tell the guys before we meet with them anyway. Most guys we've met expect it to be safe anyway so your man is possibly a little uncommon in his habits.
You could always use the female condom for guys such as this if you were still interested in meeting them. They're not pretty and they certainly don't work as well as male condoms but could be a useful standby.
I've used them for a guy we meet with fairly regularly. He is vwe and finds condoms hard to fit so I wear one instead rather than miss the opportunity :twisted: wink

Don't let one guy put you off. There are plenty more where he came from lol

Tracy-Jayne & Jon

15 May 2004

Quote by RedHot
This has happened to me twice times, although one guy did tell me he would put a condom on for the sex but would take it off before he ejaculated because he doesn't like to cum in them :shock:

oooooh well THAT makes it ok then! rolleyes

You could always use the female condom for guys such as this if you were still interested in meeting them

as far as forplay goes.. expecting me to put my life at risk is pretty low down on my scale of good ones.. so i may just give him a miss! confused

thanks for the tip though babe
wink

xxxxxx

15 May 2004

RedHot: what you said about your vwe friend reminds me of something I saw on a TV show once.... to disprove (apparently) the idea the condoms are too small for well endowed men, the presenter had somebody come up who took an average-sized condom, and by a combination of stretching and blowing it up (like a balloon) and some clever manipulation showed that he could fit the condom over his actual head, completely down to say his upper chest....... ! These things (at least the quality controlled ones, although I don't know if non-controlled ones are even sold) are made to be stretchy to accommodate...
Of course that's not to invalidate your friend's argument; even though the condom could probably fit him, it might just be that the necessity to stretch it that far imposes an additional greater than normal pressure on the cock, which might be uncomfortable (or perhas 'too' comfortable)...

15 May 2004

Safe is a must with most people.
If you go without you are taking a hell of a risk not just to yourself but others as well.
Any of you guys that served in the Army get shown the STD film? Remember the bit where there must be about 20 in the doctors surgery getting told they had an STD.I laughed at the time,but i dont laugh far too risky doing stuff like that.

15 May 2004

Quote by Cauchey
RedHot: what you said about your vwe friend reminds me of something I saw on a TV show once.... to disprove (apparently) the idea the condoms are too small for well endowed men, the presenter had somebody come up who took an average-sized condom, and by a combination of stretching and blowing it up (like a balloon) and some clever manipulation showed that he could fit the condom over his actual head, completely down to say his upper chest....... !

:rotflmao: :rotflmao:
You're probably correct about them fitting even the vwe guys but really - who wants to stand there puffing and blowing into a condom just to make it fit when there are far more exciting ways to lose your breath :twisted: :twisted:
Tracy-Jayne

15 May 2004

indeed!

15 May 2004

Quote by Cauchey
RedHot: what you said about your vwe friend reminds me of something I saw on a TV show once.... to disprove (apparently) the idea the condoms are too small for well endowed men, the presenter had somebody come up who took an average-sized condom, and by a combination of stretching and blowing it up (like a balloon) and some clever manipulation showed that he could fit the condom over his actual head, completely down to say his upper chest....... !

MMM - old injun trick, we used to do that as a party trick when I was in the Marines - pull a condom over your head and just over your nose, but not your mouth. hold it in place, and breathing in through your mouth and out your nose you could blow up the condom.
We also used to do a similar trick with rubber gloves to look like a chicken :shock: which was considerably harder to do!
Also, condoms (non lubricated) were included in our survival kits - for storing water! - you could get about 5 gallons in one condom, but it was very hard to carry without bursting!
Back to the original question, the bloke must be a 'right one' if he expected you to have unprotected sex! I would never dream of it, and would take it that I would be expected to wear one without being asked, for my own protection as well as that of TJ and the other party.

15 May 2004

Quote by well_busty_babe
Now maybe I am wrong, but I think he left it a bit late in the day to drop this into conversation!

Well, I can understand that maybe this is an awkward thing to work into a conversation, but if the guy can't understand why you might have a wee little problem with this he's a - what's the phrase - idiot.
An orgasm is not worth dying for.

15 May 2004

Quote by roger743
An orgasm is not worth dying for.

Well, that's my opinion, of course. And maybe a little arrogant of me to express it, as there was one regretful occaision in my past when my passion exceeded my common sense and protection failed to be used. Never again. I never ever want to play Russian Roulette with my life again, thank you very much.
But of course, if some people want to weigh up the risks and decide that hey, it's worth it, then I guess that's up to them. Plenty of people take their life in their hands every day; speeding, crossing busy roads, rewiring plugs, eating barbecued food... I left the gas on once, almost blew my house and everything in it to kingdom come. (Fortunately a couple of kids knocked on my door to complain about the smell... true story.) But I still have a gas hob and a gas fire; I figure that the small risk of me blowing myself up is a risk worth taking. Any intimate contact with another person is of course a risk, to one degree or another. I think it's all about risk management; saying one risk is acceptable but another risk is just too risky, or the consequences too great... But I don't have a problem if people manage their own risks and decide the amount of risk that's acceptable for them. (So long as this doesn't impact me or someone else with a different threshold of acceptable risk.)
And of course, some people are just idiots who don't even bother to think of these things.

15 May 2004

For the guys who don't like wearing them:
Go along to the GUM clinic and have the tests done.
I ********guarantee********* that after that you will have one on long before you even have a chance of some action !!
There's nothing like having a cotton bud shoved up your dick to make you appreciate a pain free life.

15 May 2004

Quote by Cauchey
RedHot: what you said about your vwe friend reminds me of something I saw on a TV show once.... to disprove (apparently) the idea the condoms are too small for well endowed men, the presenter had somebody come up who took an average-sized condom, and by a combination of stretching and blowing it up (like a balloon) and some clever manipulation showed that he could fit the condom over his actual head, completely down to say his upper chest....... ! These things (at least the quality controlled ones, although I don't know if non-controlled ones are even sold) are made to be stretchy to accommodate... .

I know it's off topic (sorry) but the same thing can be done with one of the thin latex swimmming caps worn these days by competitive swimmers! These people will often relieve the tedium of training sessions by getting six of them holding onto one hat (round the rim) and pushing the hat up into the air, down into the water, up and down in the water again and again until, eventually, it stretches so much one of them can climb inside and sit in it!!
SORRY.. going now.

15 May 2004

We're all adults here, possessed with the intellectual capabilities to make our own decisions, based on our own beliefs, morals and attitudes towards risk. And also based upon what we know about the other person, good point Judy.
WBB, your are entirely within your rights to insist, as was he. You were right to bring it up before you met, could you imagine how it would have been trying to negotiate this "in the heat of the moment"?
Lucifer (who'd happily put on a goat for you babes wink

)

15 May 2004

.......

16 May 2004

It should be reasonable to assume that protection will be used, on the other hand if the other party doesn't want to, either it gets into the conversation beforehand or you only find out when he or she turns up and springs it on you at the last minute.
I would say that it's up to the person not wanting to use a condom to make that clear from the outset.
Ice

16 May 2004

Quote by Ice Pie
I would say that it's up to the person not wanting to use a condom to make that clear from the outset.
Ice

I think that with a subject such as this that it is everyones own personal responsibility to put across whether they do or do not use safe sex is always a must.

16 May 2004

thats amazing - the guy must be a moron. doesnt he know about STD's and aids?
Its guys like him that ruin it for the rest of us.
take care - always take a brolly with you!

16 May 2004

Just to put our two peneth in.
We are definitly with WBB on this one, SURLEY it goes without saying
Its like not putting your selt belt before a demolition derby
Its like going through west midlands safari park on a push bike
Its like playing 5-aside foty on the M6 toll road
POINTLESS risk taking......

18 May 2004

Wearing a condom can certainly reduce the sensitivity but for having sex with a stranger then i think it is a must till you get to know them in some sort of relationship. I had an ex-girlfriend once who wasn't on the pill and insisted i wear one every time and i was with her for over 6 months, cost me a fortune the amount of times she wanted to have sex.. lol

:lol:

18 May 2004

I remember a girl saying to me once that she was not using condoms with her boyfriend ( well fiance because they had decided to get married ) becauise if he was going to die , she wanted to as well.
This seemed fair enough , otherwise abstain or rubber up .
Another well made comment here . I find for a first time a condom helps , it's so exciting you can find yourself coming long before you want to , then you start thinking about coming bedore you want to etc etc , put the condom on , you know you can last and don't have to worry about catching anything .
As to when ,you should mention it , certainly before you have shared a bottle of wine and have your pants round one ankle !
Finally , how do the girls on here like ribbed, dotted etc ones ?

18 May 2004

My ex-ex missus hated using condoms, she preferred feeling people cum inside of her especially in her ass.. confused

Takes all sorts i guess, glad i was one of her first boyfriends as her friend says she sleeps around all over the place these days and can't even remember how many men she has been with. :shock:

23 May 2004

As I say, my mrs was just the same... never used a condom ever... she said if she was getting fucked she wanted to know she was full... tweve years of at least one stranger a month, plus me and three regular boyfs... thats a lot of sperm....

24 May 2004

wbb you know what you should have done,arranged a meet with a guy from the forum!! biggrin

most of the guys that have responded to your thread seem like sensible,sexy seems that this issue wouldn't have been a problem if you'd have picked a forum guy lol

24 May 2004

From the mans point of view using a condom is "like sex in wellington boots". It naturally takes longer to cum as the sensation is dramatically reduced, there are other very effective methods of delay.
Saying all that, safe sex is important although I'm guilty as much as many men are in letting those best intentions out the window when things get heated. Just hope it isn't the used condoms going out the window. I do hope that those men, like me, take a great deal of care in their sexual health which includes the occasional visit to a doctor just to make sure.
I can't wait for the day that someone comes up with an alternative to the wellington boot.
Have fun all

24 May 2004

hi wbb, and everyone else whos commented.
i understand where your comming from, ive met men of different ages and some are very mature and responsible, i may be a great f**k but im sure they dont want it to be their last or cost their life.
one guy wondered why i wanted him to use a condom as he said hed had the snip rolleyes

yes and...... pregnancy last 9 mths and results in a life , not the end of yours.
another occassion a guy didnt want to use on insisting he knew he was safe , i then put it to him ahhh but how did he know i was.... lol needless to say that made him shrivvel so sex wasnt even a option pmsl.
always use a condom, sex is great fun but not worth your life.
xxxfemxxxxxxx