Here goes.....
My job involves a lot of security awareness and i like to think i'm pretty clued up on the dangers of the real world. I realise how unsafe certain things a lot of people take for granted are, and am often dismayed at peoples blind trust in people they meet via the internet.
Do people using the site take enough care to ensure their safety when meeting up with people and have there been any dodgy situations that people might share to try and raise awareness of the dangers of meeting people they don't know without properly thinking through the situation.
I know i might sound like a killjoy and there are people out there who thrive on and enjoy the spontaneaty and that's fine, each to their own, but what about those that just don't have a clue and might end up in a bad situation?
I say this because this weekend i was speaking to a young couple i first met back in the days when i used the site as the male half of a couple. I bumped into them and we went for a pint (which ended up being 4 or 5) and got talking about.......yes you guessed it, swinging.
I moaned about being a single male for a while, said i had barely used the site other than for the forums and recounted a recent tale about a nut job husband of a woman whom i was having NSA sex with with her husbands knowledge and how it transpired etc,etc.
I asked if they were still using the site and they said no, and i, ever the nosey bastard asked why.
They then told me they had had a "bad experirience as well" and it had put them off using sites. I might add here that this particular incident was not linked to usage of this site but of a similar sexually orientated site.
To cut a long story short, cos boy can the female talk
it went along the lines of........They recieved a reply for their add for cpls seeking cpls on the other site from a cpl not too far from where they are based. After a resonable amount of email/inbox correspondence they asked this couple for a phone chat but were told the couple worked shifts and were rarely in together. Their pictures looked great and this couple sent pics of them seperately and together which reassured the couple i met, so they did the same.(This is where i cringed) "Well we thought they had to be genuine if they had pictures together and seperate".
So without a call they decided to meet up and took the sensible precaution of arranging the meet up at a mid way local pub, they waited and the couple never showed up.
They went home and recieved an inbox saying the couple were so very sorry but the couples babysitter had let them down and this couple couldnt make it out. The cpl i know said it was fine and then the other cpl started to say how horny they were now and how they wish they could meet as the fem was so turned on. They then said to the cpl i was speaking to how they wished their webcam was working (another cringe) as they would love to cam to cam with them. So.......the cpl i had previously met said they would turn their cam on and did a bit of...well you can use your imagination.
A week later they arranged another meet up with the cpl but this time were asked if they would do an "outdoor meet up" as the fem was "worried she might be spotted at a pub" (another cringe as like anyone would have known what was going on) but my friends agreed as by now 40 or more emails had been sent, a meet up had been arranged but cancelled due to an unforseen event and they had cammed to the cpl so had built up a "trust with them" (their words not mine).
Bare in mind this couple are still only in their mid 20s and were only early 20's and totally new to the scene when this took place so their niavety can be forgiven and understood. They, probably like a lot of people took people at face value (myself and my former playmate did when we first joined even though i was quite security concious even back then without this great little thing called hindsight, and we made mistakes)and were not aware that there are some fucking determined and warped people about.
Anyway back to the situation...
They agreed to meet at an outdoors location near to a well known beauty spot and were really excited about finally meeting this couple they had been talking to for 6 WEEKS. They arrived at the location and it in their own words was "really secluded and out of view (he cringes again) and waited in the car. About 15 minutes after the arranged time and having no phone number to call they started the engine and were just about to drive out of the place and "a guy appeared out of the bushes and started waving at us". They drove a bit closer and the bloke knew them but they didn't recognise him so asked what was the matter but had the good sense to wind the window down and not get out the car. It then became evident it was the male from the cpl they were due to meet but with about (and again i quote directly) "2 stone and 10 years on the pictures".
The bloke chatted to them through the open car window and said his girlfriend had bottled it but he came anyway so as "not to let them down again" and started to pester them to "get out the car and have some fun anyway seeing as they were here". They sensibly said no and drove off saying they only wanted cpl/cpls fun and the bloke said ok and walked off back in the direction of the bushes he sprung out of.
They emailed the "couple" as soon as they got home but never heard from "them" again and after a complaint to the site they used the account of said "couple" was deactivated.
I was shocked to say the least but not surprised having encountered some very weird people during my 6 year swinging "career", but i think that awareness HAS to be raised about the dangers and maybe a STICKY about the do's and don'ts and possible things fraudsters try based on users own experiences?
A few things here obviously spring out, the guy was the same guy but prob using pics from ten yrs ago as he did have pics that resembled a younger, less portly him. He probably did have a wife as he had pics of him and a female together in sexually suggestive poses but she probably had no idea he was talking to cpls online as no phone calls were made even after repeat attempts by the young cpl i had previously met. Why would you not if you were asked? I used to suggest it straight away when we wised up and if on the second time there was a myserious reason or a "she is shy" it would be block and delete. Even now as a single male i ask for a phone chat with people i meet and if a cpl then insist on speaking to both parties.
What really sticks out is the lengths fraudsters will go to in order to gain trust and seem genuine and people new to the scene might fall prey to pic collectors, fraudsters getting off on the deception or worse somebody violent.
Anyone else have any experiences to share that migh click with a few people who might be in the same situation without realising it and help some of the people on here who I'm sure are duped on a regular basis?
I'm a techy biff!!)