well sat here this afternoon watched the rugby and the football now ffel like i got a lot of tension to release
so all serious offers needed lmao
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sat here all horny any suggestions
Sex God
Quote by penfolds06
well sat here this afternoon watched the rugby and the football now ffel like i got a lot of tension to release
so all serious offers needed lmao
place open end around mouth and nostrils........breath in....breath out....breath in.........
Sex God
Quote by davej
well sat here this afternoon watched the rugby and the football now ffel like i got a lot of tension to release
so all serious offers needed lmao
place open end around mouth and nostrils........breath in....breath out....breath in.........
can I breath out yet Mr. J sir?
Sex God
Quote by easy
well sat here this afternoon watched the rugby and the football now ffel like i got a lot of tension to release
so all serious offers needed lmao
place open end around mouth and nostrils........breath in....breath out....breath in.........
can I breath out yet Mr. J sir?
this ladies and gentlemen is one of the reasons why the warning.......
'This product may contain nut or nut extract'
is printed on packets of peanuts.
just for you easy, please read the instructions as....
place open end of bag over mouth and nostril and then breath as normal.
countess, cancel the extra premiums he spotted it.....
Sex God
Quote by davej
well sat here this afternoon watched the rugby and the football now ffel like i got a lot of tension to release
so all serious offers needed lmao
place open end around mouth and nostrils........breath in....breath out....breath in.........
can I breath out yet Mr. J sir?
this ladies and gentlemen is one of the reasons why the warning.......
'This product may contain nut or nut extract'
is printed on packets of peanuts.
just for you easy, please read the instructions as....
place open end of bag over mouth and nostril and then breath as normal.
countess, cancel the extra premiums he spotted it.....
Too late Mr J.
I'm Mr. Bastard of Shotgun, Bastard and Drivle, Mr. easys lawyers. I'd like to take this oppertunity to inform you that Mr easy intends to sue you for failing to tell him to not be an idiot on your above advertised breating aid.
He has indicated that he may settle out of court for your bomb proof coffee table and ironing board, the villa in Spain (complete with dodgy gear and "shooters" hidden in the walls) and the nice convertable (with working roof).
Any payments, documents and keys should be left at our registered office address below, so our percentage may be extracted before the remainder of the settlememnt is passed on to Mr. easy.
We look forward to hearing from you in the near future.
Shotgun, Bastard and Drivle
Water cistern,
Trap 3,
Euston Train Station.
London.
Sex God
well u could have a wank
Sex God
Dear Mr Bastard.
RE: Your client Mr. Easy
Any claim against me for damages or injuries, that your client claims to have recieved by following my advice with regard to de-stressing by useing the well known method of breathing into a paper bag, will be vehemently opposed on the grounds that your client is fully aware that any advice given by myself is at best open to question and at worse complete bollocks.
I have known your client for well over one year having exchange views and comments on this forum and having met him in a Manchester pub.I would therefore point out that at evey point in our relationship, I have never once gave him reason to believe that I am anything other than a twat.
I have in the past suggested the following practices as being either desirable or benificial which I believe demonstrate my state of mind and which in my opinion, if your client is so gullible, would have done him damage either physically or mentally prior to this time. The practices to which I refere are:-
Shaving your bollocks in a milkshake.
Sitting in a roofless car in a rainstorm.
Racing a donkey called Malcolm
Speed showering
Hiding my family in various places around the house in case of attack.
This is just the tip of an iceburg of bollox and I would suggest that you urgently review my posts, which in my opinion, demonstrate the weakness of your case.
Should you decide to proceed I am sure my solicitors will press for your client to be sectioned, under the grounds that he is barking and chooses to lives in Manchester.
Up yer chuff
davej
RE: Your client Mr. Easy
Any claim against me for damages or injuries, that your client claims to have recieved by following my advice with regard to de-stressing by useing the well known method of breathing into a paper bag, will be vehemently opposed on the grounds that your client is fully aware that any advice given by myself is at best open to question and at worse complete bollocks.
I have known your client for well over one year having exchange views and comments on this forum and having met him in a Manchester pub.I would therefore point out that at evey point in our relationship, I have never once gave him reason to believe that I am anything other than a twat.
I have in the past suggested the following practices as being either desirable or benificial which I believe demonstrate my state of mind and which in my opinion, if your client is so gullible, would have done him damage either physically or mentally prior to this time. The practices to which I refere are:-
Shaving your bollocks in a milkshake.
Sitting in a roofless car in a rainstorm.
Racing a donkey called Malcolm
Speed showering
Hiding my family in various places around the house in case of attack.
This is just the tip of an iceburg of bollox and I would suggest that you urgently review my posts, which in my opinion, demonstrate the weakness of your case.
Should you decide to proceed I am sure my solicitors will press for your client to be sectioned, under the grounds that he is barking and chooses to lives in Manchester.
Up yer chuff
davej
Sex God
Quote by Debbiewebs
i will have some of that...................... thats Dave J on :huh:
It's a heady mixture of Tia Maria and several tubes of Love Hearts Debbs.
Sex God
Quote by davej
i will have some of that...................... thats Dave J on :huh:
It's a heady mixture of Tia Maria and several tubes of Love Hearts Debbs.
They can't be ordinary love hearts dave is taking - quick, get the cardiac arrest unit!
Sex God
Quote by davej
Dear Mr Bastard.
RE: Your client Mr. Easy
Any claim against me for damages or injuries, that your client claims to have recieved by following my advice with regard to de-stressing by useing the well known method of breathing into a paper bag, will be vehemently opposed on the grounds that your client is fully aware that any advice given by myself is at best open to question and at worse complete bollocks.
I have known your client for well over one year having exchange views and comments on this forum and having met him in a Manchester pub.I would therefore point out that at evey point in our relationship, I have never once gave him reason to believe that I am anything other than a twat.
I have in the past suggested the following practices as being either desirable or benificial which I believe demonstrate my state of mind and which in my opinion, if your client is so gullible, would have done him damage either physically or mentally prior to this time. The practices to which I refere are:-
Shaving your bollocks in a milkshake.
Sitting in a roofless car in a rainstorm.
Racing a donkey called Malcolm
Speed showering
Hiding my family in various places around the house in case of attack.
This is just the tip of an iceburg of bollox and I would suggest that you urgently review my posts, which in my opinion, demonstrate the weakness of your case.
Should you decide to proceed I am sure my solicitors will press for your client to be sectioned, under the grounds that he is barking and chooses to lives in Manchester.
Up yer chuff
davej
Mr. J
Re the attached.
Our client has instructed us to proceed with the claim and after reviewing your previous communications to the site via "posts" we have in fact discovered that there are also perfectly reasonable and rational post mixed up with the "bollox" you mention.
How is our client supposed to be able to differentiate between the "bollox" and the serious posts you make willy-nilly? He is, as you correctly point out, from Manchester after all.
Mr. easy does recall said meeting with yourself and has witnesses that will testify to the fact you seemed a rational, level headed gentleman, who did, at the time, seem a little stressed (due to the loss of a map and hotel reservation I believe) although he does recall you did appear to have some kind of insect infestation in the region of your undergarments. This caused a strange twitching movement which only abated when a drink was placed in your hand. The reason of the infestation still remains a mystery, but we are assured there must be a rational explanation behind it (no pun intended).
Non of the witnesses or our client recall you being a "twat" at any point during the night.
During the course of reviewing all your posts, it has come to light that you may have been under the influence of alcohol and some form of reality altering drug when you gave your medical "advice". We belive this to be contrary to the most basic of medical practices.
We have also added to the list of claims gross endagerment as you have blatently failed to put any of those little holes in the bottom of the bag to prevent suffocation.
You may feel free to attempt to have our client sectioned, but as he has been certified by Warwick, Warwick and Warwick, we feel justifiably smug that your attempts will fail.
Finally on the subject of your final remark of "Up yer chuff", all I can say is that we are practicing soliciters and we are always the "shafter" and never the "shaftee".
We await your educated response with baited breath.
Mr. Bastard.
Messrs. Shotgun, Bastard & Drivle.
Sex God
Quote by KitKat
Thanks to Wibbly Wobbly for tidying up my somewhat frayed edges
Looks like the glue's not quite taken in the top left corner.
