You've probably all seen the film...the first 30 minutes are harrowing..all the young guys coming ashore under intense fire..they dont all make it!
Similar problems with single men joining Swinging Heaven..lots of us trying desperately to get ashore under the guns of Moderators and established couples only too willing to gun us down.
I've suffered severe wounds, my first post being deleted whilst all around me posts on the same subject fly thick and fast.
Still, I'm ashore, returning fire awaiting the medics and should be up and running in the next few days provided the bastards dont get me in the meantime.
I'll keep you posted! "Medic"
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Saving Private Ryan
For general info I have copied extracts from a seperate thread.
Funnyenough
Why if you consider this forum needs to be closed down do you continue to post on it,
Am I wrong in thinking that, given your recent history of fairly negative postings and general attitude, this may not be the place for you. Are you after meeting members or just on a wind up ???? Convince me please.
Jackie and Ben
xxxxxxxxxxx
Well thats one way of settling in and getting known and accepted !!!! May be best to keep your head down below the bunker for a while. :shock:
Jackie and Ben
Quote by Jackie and Ben
I'm neither a solicitor, police or press....just making the point that DOGGING is illegal. Never seen a dogger watching without wanking!!
If its illegal SH should shut the Dogging Forum..fullstop.
Funnyenough
Why if you consider this forum needs to be closed down do you continue to post on it,
Am I wrong in thinking that, given your recent history of fairly negative postings and general attitude, this may not be the place for you. Are you after meeting members or just on a wind up ???? Convince me please.
Jackie and Ben
xxxxxxxxxxx
Quote by funnyenough
Hi Jackie & Ben
"fairly negative postings"
Wel, l posted a reply on The Cafe and was deleted by an un-named Mod in ridiculous cirumstances...only because I am considered a newbie..read the posts! Nothing negative in my post. No response from the offending Mod but 2 posts by sympathetic Mods.
My stance on the Dogging Forum and conveyed in my posts in reply to Jomu is that if it is now an illegal activity..Dogging not Swinging in carparks..then the Dogging Forum should close.
You may choose to frequent carparks and be available to couples and single guys but you are not Doggers and should post in Lets Meet Up. Hope this doesnt offend you.
I joined this site after watching for quite a while knowing that newbies often have difficulty integrating at first..I didn't expect such a hostile attack on my first innocuous post but I shall persevere despite personal attacks by established members!!! Not you of course.
Quote by Jackie and Ben
Hi Funnyenough
Dogging and sex in car parks has always been illeagal under various public order and indecency laws, so its not new, just a new set of laws. The new laws were not actually set up to stop dogging, they are just being waved around by the police who are under increasing pressure from the w***kers from the tabloid rags.
Good luck and spend some time settling in.
Love
Jackie and Ben
xxxxxxxxxxx
Well thats one way of settling in and getting known and accepted !!!! May be best to keep your head down below the bunker for a while. :shock:
Jackie and Ben
i personally have got no complaints about this web site. and given the fact you not abliged to pay a penny for the services, ya shouldn't really complain.
and form all the Cpls adn mods ive come across i can say ive seen a single one give me any reason to say there against "the single guys"
JGL
and form all the Cpls adn mods ive come across i can say ive seen a single one give me any reason to say there against "the single guys"
JGL
It seems to me that over the past week there's been alot of new blood on this site that just seem to take the piss if they can't get a shag in the first 5 mins, why not try and get to know the people your chatting to you may like them!
I can't understand why these people waist there own time and others on here with crappy remarks about mods and genuine swingers.
:twisted:
:twisted: :roll: :twisted: :roll:
Ok rant over for now!!
And i don't want to offend honest!
Redshift
I can't understand why these people waist there own time and others on here with crappy remarks about mods and genuine swingers.
:twisted:
:twisted: :roll: :twisted: :roll: Ok rant over for now!!
And i don't want to offend honest!
Redshift
I think I'll go and eat worms... :cry:
If a Mod binned your first post it was because you didn't read the AUP, or because you DID read the AUP and thought it didn't apply to you.
And any established group, online of offline, takes time to settle in to. Those that stick with it and try to learn from initial mistakes usually find they bump into at least some folks they like. And there's no rule that you have to get along with everyone, just so long as you treat those you don't get along with with a bit of respect.
And on the subject of the Dogging forum... Not so long ago Homosexuality was illegal. Gays were forced to undergo 'treatment' such as hormone therapy and our wonderful, egalitarian society had progressed back to the Nazi gas chambers. Thank God, society woke to this madness and the laws were changed. I have every confidence that given time, and enough public pressure (which our forum tries to give voice to), a sense of right will prevail and they'll change the law again.
Until such time, if anyone and I mean ANYONE comes near our Dogging forum with anything other than a sense of fun and fair play, I'd like them to come and see me personally and I'll sit down with them to have a soft word.... get it!
:x
Hxx (Mods cap off...)
If a Mod binned your first post it was because you didn't read the AUP, or because you DID read the AUP and thought it didn't apply to you.
And any established group, online of offline, takes time to settle in to. Those that stick with it and try to learn from initial mistakes usually find they bump into at least some folks they like. And there's no rule that you have to get along with everyone, just so long as you treat those you don't get along with with a bit of respect.
And on the subject of the Dogging forum... Not so long ago Homosexuality was illegal. Gays were forced to undergo 'treatment' such as hormone therapy and our wonderful, egalitarian society had progressed back to the Nazi gas chambers. Thank God, society woke to this madness and the laws were changed. I have every confidence that given time, and enough public pressure (which our forum tries to give voice to), a sense of right will prevail and they'll change the law again.
Until such time, if anyone and I mean ANYONE comes near our Dogging forum with anything other than a sense of fun and fair play, I'd like them to come and see me personally and I'll sit down with them to have a soft word.... get it!
:x Hxx (Mods cap off...)
Quote by funnyenough
Moderators and established couples only too willing to gun us down.
Firstly the mods are here for a reason and a bloody good you don't want to play by the rules then go somewhere else its that simple!
Secondly i guess we may be considered as an established couple and were not here to gun anyone on here is either a friend or a potential one,and i mean everyone,be they single,male or female!
If you want to be taken seriously then i suggest that maybe you take a little time to read the rules and get to know people before you judge do you expect anyone to give you the chance when your obviously not willing to give anyone else a chance?
my personal thoughts on this!...............is that you get turn on by argument!.....and to gane that!.......you attempt to wind peeps up to for fill your needs!................. well you have certainly succeeded!............well done!
now go away because you have finished here!.........................and dont bother coming back to reply to me!............as it dont do anything for me!.........get your kicks else where!
i am sure there is a site that alows peeps like your self to let rip!
BUT THIS IS NOT ONE OF THEM
bloody hell did i really say that!..........ooo shoot!..........there goes me opportunity to whip some one hard for a change!.........ooo well win some you loose some :doh:
now go away because you have finished here!.........................and dont bother coming back to reply to me!............as it dont do anything for me!.........get your kicks else where!
i am sure there is a site that alows peeps like your self to let rip!
BUT THIS IS NOT ONE OF THEM
bloody hell did i really say that!..........ooo shoot!..........there goes me opportunity to whip some one hard for a change!.........ooo well win some you loose some :doh:
Sex God
Quote by funnyenough
You've probably all seen the film...the first 30 minutes are harrowing..all the young guys coming ashore under intense fire..they dont all make it!
Similar problems with single men joining Swinging Heaven..lots of us trying desperately to get ashore under the guns of Moderators and established couples only too willing to gun us down.
I've suffered severe wounds, my first post being deleted whilst all around me posts on the same subject fly thick and fast.
Still, I'm ashore, returning fire awaiting the medics and should be up and running in the next few days provided the bastards dont get me in the meantime.
I'll keep you posted! "Medic"
I don't think anyone, mod or otherwise, is out to gun single guys down. Bear in mind there are an awful lot of people joining all the time, and there are a number of very good reasons why people tend to be wary of newcomers, especially single guys, until they've mingled and got themselves known. That's not borne of a desire to be unfriendly, it's just a necessary caution. Your character as displayed in the forum seems to be somewhat, errrr... shall we say adversarial, and I think you have to accept that for someone who hasn't yet done much to establish himself, it's bound to rub a few people up the wrong way until they get to know you. With the greatest of respect, I don't think 14 posts in 6 weeks is giving people much of a chance to get used to you and warm to your particular posting style. Nobody's out to get you just because you're a single guy or for any other reason, you just need to give yourself, and everyone else, a chance to adapt, and 14 posts aint gonna do it.
Regards,
Ice
Quote by Heather
I think I'll go and eat worms... :cry:
If a Mod binned your first post it was because you didn't read the AUP, or because you DID read the AUP and thought it didn't apply to you.
Hxx (Mods cap off...)
Sorry but you're wrong Heather....telling somebody who asked, where the nudist beach is is not a breach of AUP. Interesting to find out which mod did delete tho?
Note that about 12 other established users posted locations before and after me. You would not have deleted an established users post and did not.
Anyway please don't eat worms on my account..I'll probably end up leaving..tail between me legs..I know peeps don't like my approach but I'm me and can't change..by the way it was't you at Shirley Hills..1975..in a Morris Mini with the queue was it?
ops: 
Sex God
Quote by funnyenough
under the guns of Moderators and established couples only too willing to gun us down.
Not just Mods and couples....... I think you will find there are quiet a few single blokes here that also find your approach objectionable !
In case you feel you need to work out who….. put me down as one of them!
Quote by roger743
While we're on this subject, shouldn't the posting of dogging locations be banned in the AUP? Because I looked and it didn't seem to be...
You need to look at the new policy posting in Dogging - it is a sticky so isn't hard to find, but just for you, just for you (sorry, been listening to Sam Cook last night!)
If you click on this link the sticky will pop up
:P
Quote by Heather
I'd like them to come and see me personally and I'll sit down with them to have a soft word.... get it!
Hxx (Mods cap off...)
After Heather took a walk through my adverts & deleted all but one, I tried that & felt like the little boy who ignores the "Don't walk on the grass" sign & gets a baseball bat in the teeth for having done so.
Hopefully people who have seen my posts will not consider me to be a whinging single male. I've done my best to be constructive in my contributions to this group, but the past couple of days have been quite a shock.
I can accept what Heather did in deleting the ads, but the *way* in which she did it is where the shock comes in. She implements the AUP with an iron fist, & if you try to discuss it with her you are accused of being "defensive". You are told that it is "for your own good" & "to make you sit up & take notice". Some people in authority can be firm without alienating people, but this is something that Heather has yet to learn.
I had a damned hard think yesterday about whether this group is for me, & have concluded that it is clearly not the warm & friendly place I thought it to be. However, I intend to persevere for a while, & have got myself a kevlar jacket & helmet to ward off future attacks. Has my attitude changed? Damn right it has.
Quote by Jags
You need to look at the new policy posting in Dogging - it is a sticky so isn't hard to find, but just for you, just for you (sorry, been listening to Sam Cook last night!)
Fair enough. I made the critical error of clicking the "Acceptable Use Policy" link at the bottom of the screen...
Something you might like to consider (and no, I am not jumping on a bandwagon here, I rarely do 
), is that there are some 11,000 + members who use the board, and I *think* another 70,000 who use the ad system. If you check out the ratio of mods to members you will understand what a huge job these guys have taken on. I don`t think it`s possible to embark on a discussion with all who break the AUP, there`s simply not enough hours in the day!
However, when a member comes onto the main board to discuss such issues, they normally get a fair hearing from both the mods, and the longer term members who know the ropes, even when the more dignified approach is to approach the issue by PM. This seems to be a realistic approach as it shares the load.
The ones who come on ranting, and are just being plain rude about it, tend to get squished. Life`s too short!
Venusxxx
), is that there are some 11,000 + members who use the board, and I *think* another 70,000 who use the ad system. If you check out the ratio of mods to members you will understand what a huge job these guys have taken on. I don`t think it`s possible to embark on a discussion with all who break the AUP, there`s simply not enough hours in the day!However, when a member comes onto the main board to discuss such issues, they normally get a fair hearing from both the mods, and the longer term members who know the ropes, even when the more dignified approach is to approach the issue by PM. This seems to be a realistic approach as it shares the load.
The ones who come on ranting, and are just being plain rude about it, tend to get squished. Life`s too short!
Venusxxx
HungryP - make sure that jacket and helmet are nice and tight !!!! :shock: :shock:
Your ads were deleted because they contained photo's of other people in them, which breaks the site rules. Heather then exchanged PMs with you to explain why they were deleted.
If I had noticed them I would have treated you the same as anyone else on this site and deleted all your ads and then banned you for contravening the site AUP. I would not have contacted you to offer an explanation but would have waited for you to email us to ask why you had been banned.
I also feel you are wrong to attack Heather in this public way and would support any of the Mods that would like to ban you from the site completely (as I am resisting the urge to do so myself !!).
Oh, and by the way .............. the link to your ad doesn't work !!
Your ads were deleted because they contained photo's of other people in them, which breaks the site rules. Heather then exchanged PMs with you to explain why they were deleted.
If I had noticed them I would have treated you the same as anyone else on this site and deleted all your ads and then banned you for contravening the site AUP. I would not have contacted you to offer an explanation but would have waited for you to email us to ask why you had been banned.
I also feel you are wrong to attack Heather in this public way and would support any of the Mods that would like to ban you from the site completely (as I am resisting the urge to do so myself !!).
Oh, and by the way .............. the link to your ad doesn't work !!
Quote by Sgt Bilko
HungryP - make sure that jacket and helmet are nice and tight !!!! :shock: :shock: ]
It is.
Quote by Sgt Bilko
Your ads were deleted because they contained photo's of other people in them, which breaks the site rules.]
As I said, I accept that.
Quote by Sgt Bilko
I also feel you are wrong to attack Heather in this public way and would support any of the Mods that would like to ban you from the site completely (as I am resisting the urge to do so myself !!).]
It was not meant as an attack, more as a suggestion as to why so many new posters seem to be getting pissed off. If it is normal policy to treat people like that, fine that's life.
Quote by Sgt Bilko
Oh, and by the way .............. the link to your ad doesn't work !!
The ad & the link no longer exist.
I can see his point, but I'm not defending HIM in this particular case...
It's not just single men that have the issue, it's anybody new. It can be daunting and appear very cliquey, and in some respect is IS cliquey. But that's life. It's not the right thing to moan that this stuff happens, but to look to ourselves and how we deal with it. You can either leave (as many do), or try to make decent contribututions and become 'accepted'. People cannot be expected to just be your greatest friends in a matter of 5 postings and a couple of days in chat.
That said, it's also the responsibility of longer term established people the remember what it's like first time around, and maybe make more of an effort to include newer people. A lot of people don't compalin about the cliquey feel, or fear just because they want an argument, but because they genuinely feel it.
Sticking to the rules is a good way to get people to warm to you, contributing to the site is another. I personally don't think the chat room is a particularly welcoming place at all, but the forum (here) tends to attract the better people. The type of people that take time out to actually post something constructive and can be bothered to read other people's postings.
My advice would be, change the system from within! Present your case fairly, be 'reasonable' in your attitudes, and when wanting to get mad.... don't. Try working it out with the person you can't abide. That takes a bit more guts and gets a lot more respect. THEN... and only then, can you post a pile of bollocks like I'm doing and get away with it ;-)
/KId
It's not just single men that have the issue, it's anybody new. It can be daunting and appear very cliquey, and in some respect is IS cliquey. But that's life. It's not the right thing to moan that this stuff happens, but to look to ourselves and how we deal with it. You can either leave (as many do), or try to make decent contribututions and become 'accepted'. People cannot be expected to just be your greatest friends in a matter of 5 postings and a couple of days in chat.
That said, it's also the responsibility of longer term established people the remember what it's like first time around, and maybe make more of an effort to include newer people. A lot of people don't compalin about the cliquey feel, or fear just because they want an argument, but because they genuinely feel it.
Sticking to the rules is a good way to get people to warm to you, contributing to the site is another. I personally don't think the chat room is a particularly welcoming place at all, but the forum (here) tends to attract the better people. The type of people that take time out to actually post something constructive and can be bothered to read other people's postings.
My advice would be, change the system from within! Present your case fairly, be 'reasonable' in your attitudes, and when wanting to get mad.... don't. Try working it out with the person you can't abide. That takes a bit more guts and gets a lot more respect. THEN... and only then, can you post a pile of bollocks like I'm doing and get away with it ;-)
/KId
Quote by TheAnalogKid
I
That said, it's also the responsibility of longer term established people the remember what it's like first time around, and maybe make more of an effort to include newer people. A lot of people don't compalin about the cliquey feel, or fear just because they want an argument, but because they genuinely feel it.
I disagree about it being a 'responsibility' of the longer term members.
All members come onto here to realx, discuss issues and/or generally enjoy themselves. Longer term members DO welcome newbies when they get the chance.
A person cannot just come to a site such as this (with over 11000 members) post a 'Hello I'm New' thread and EXPECT everyone to pop in and say hello. Those regs who are online when then thread is posted WILL say hi and offer their welcome. However, there are so many new threads posted every day - you log on and find there are often pages of new threads. I, for one, do not have the time to read everyone of them so I tend to look for the threads which I think will allieviate the stress from the pressure of my job at the moment. If I spent all my time welcoming new people - I would probably have little time to do anything else. Don't get me wrong - I do welcome newbies - but only if I notice them. I do not scour the forum looking for newbie threads.
So I think I object to being told that I have a responsibility as a longer term member to include new people. It IS something I aready do as part of my nature when I have the chance. I try to encourage new members - but this I often do in PM and not in the open forum. I am sure quite a few 'newbies' would back me up. I will also offer advice if I can see something which may be misconstrued or support if I think someone has been treated badly - again I will do this in PM.
I am capable of doing all this for myself by just being me, a member just like you, so please do not tell me that it is my responsiblity!
Alex
I did say 'to remember what it was like' and 'maybe make more of an effort'
I can see your point about the term responsibility, I think it's a fine line between 'obligation' and 'decency'.
Surely in order for a community to work, be it real life or online, the members DO have a responsibility to keep it working, and this is one of many ways in which to do so?
That doesn't mean every single member should do every single thing possible, it's a general comment that such places and people do tend to foget what it's like to be new. They make a lot of effort to become established, fair enough, but once they are, feel it's fine to sit back and reap the rewards, without putting something back into the place.
I can't condone this particular guy - there's no excuse for posting fake pics etc. But still, I can understand some of his sentiments about newbies.
/Kid
I can see your point about the term responsibility, I think it's a fine line between 'obligation' and 'decency'.
Surely in order for a community to work, be it real life or online, the members DO have a responsibility to keep it working, and this is one of many ways in which to do so?
That doesn't mean every single member should do every single thing possible, it's a general comment that such places and people do tend to foget what it's like to be new. They make a lot of effort to become established, fair enough, but once they are, feel it's fine to sit back and reap the rewards, without putting something back into the place.
I can't condone this particular guy - there's no excuse for posting fake pics etc. But still, I can understand some of his sentiments about newbies.
/Kid
Sex God
They make a lot of effort to become established, fair enough, but once they are, feel it's fine to sit back and reap the rewards, without putting something back into the place.
i can't agree with that statement. if anybody contributes to this place, it is the established regs who have come to love it. i know of none that sit back and reap the rewards in the way you suggest? the reward is conversation among friends, which is only rewarding if you involve yourself in it, surely?
i know where you're coming from on the clique, but it's already been said there isn't really one at all. i was intimidated when i first started posting, and it took me quite a while to get into it. noone held my hand while i did that, but i was encouraged by their responses to what i posted? how else can we go about it? and yes i can well remember what it's like to be a newbie, cos i still have the odd crisis of confidence about everything i do here.
there are groups of established regs, who count each other friends, yes, and they tend to bounce off each other, because they are on each others wavelengths, and know the "in jokes" they share, but that only comes with time. there are no shortcuts to that for anybody!
it took me 200 posts before i had any confidence at all in even posting here. it took very much longer than that for me to have any real confidence in the swinging side of things. it takes time. i still have doubts about the site and swinging, but what i do know is, i was welcomed, and my effort was appreciated by some. but it took effort on my part to earn that appreciation.
having said that, i know of no other community, either online, or in real life, that so goes out of it's way to include. there is a particular wariness of newbies at the moment granted, for various reasons, but most of us will post on a welcome thread, and try and engage with people, cos that is why we are here. we will help when we can. as alex says what i post on open forum is a fraction of what i do in pm, with newbies and regs alike. the responsibility lies with the newbie to include themselves, not on us to hold their hands.
neil x x x ;-)
Hi Kid
If you read my pst you would see that I am not disagreeing with the essence of your post, only that you use the term 'responsibility'. I repeat, the majority of longer term members will attempt to make newbies feel welcome - IF THEY NOTICE THEM. If often takes a newbie a period of time to acclimatise themselves to the Forum - especially single males. But that is the nature of the beast. It is more a responsibility of the newbie to get themselves noticed - and in a good way. But these newbies also have to have a realistic attitude - they should come on here with the expectation of talking to like minded people, possibly making friends but NEVER with the expectation of an easy lay.
As to 'remembering what it was like to be a newbie' - I do (very well), and I also had some controntations in here which were very upsetting. I left at one stage, but decided to come back a few weeks later and have bee here ever since. From this experience, I would say to any newbie that it is YOU who has to make your mark - no one will ignore or reject you unless you make yourself look an idiot or are disrespectful or rude.
Anyway - you are a far longer term member than I am
Kid
The reason that this issue arises so often is that the site is growing so fast and new members joing at a fast and furious rate.
Big hugs, from an irresponsible Alex x x
If you read my pst you would see that I am not disagreeing with the essence of your post, only that you use the term 'responsibility'. I repeat, the majority of longer term members will attempt to make newbies feel welcome - IF THEY NOTICE THEM. If often takes a newbie a period of time to acclimatise themselves to the Forum - especially single males. But that is the nature of the beast. It is more a responsibility of the newbie to get themselves noticed - and in a good way. But these newbies also have to have a realistic attitude - they should come on here with the expectation of talking to like minded people, possibly making friends but NEVER with the expectation of an easy lay.
As to 'remembering what it was like to be a newbie' - I do (very well), and I also had some controntations in here which were very upsetting. I left at one stage, but decided to come back a few weeks later and have bee here ever since. From this experience, I would say to any newbie that it is YOU who has to make your mark - no one will ignore or reject you unless you make yourself look an idiot or are disrespectful or rude.
Anyway - you are a far longer term member than I am
KidThe reason that this issue arises so often is that the site is growing so fast and new members joing at a fast and furious rate.
Big hugs, from an irresponsible
Alex x x Sorry, but I can't agree...
Like I said cliques do exist, that's life...
The point is, people forget that they slowly develop into them, and forget that there are others on the outside. They typically refuse to believe that they exist and resolutely claim that it's those on the outside with problems. It's not. It's both sides of the fence that aren't prepared to grasp the situation on the other side.
The newcomers can do things to help themselves, and unless they do, can have no real argument. But, the longer established people can do help them too.
I stated initially, that the people in here (the forum) tend to be the better people, since they are making an effort to contribute, but I can assure you, a high percentage of people in the chat room never post a damn thing, nor (imo) contribute very much at all to the overall success of the site. I know it's perhaps not a popular opinion, but I stand by my statement that some people bask in reflected glory of mod status, or chat personality etc.
Largely this is why I feel the forums are a much better place to enjoy the site. This site isn't immune to all the usual crap that others sites suffer from too. Nobody is immune from cliques, embittered personalities and imbicilic fly-by-nights looking for a shag at a moment's notice with a fake ad etc. I just believe it's important to recognise it exists, that's the first step to managing it!
/Kid
Like I said cliques do exist, that's life...
The point is, people forget that they slowly develop into them, and forget that there are others on the outside. They typically refuse to believe that they exist and resolutely claim that it's those on the outside with problems. It's not. It's both sides of the fence that aren't prepared to grasp the situation on the other side.
The newcomers can do things to help themselves, and unless they do, can have no real argument. But, the longer established people can do help them too.
I stated initially, that the people in here (the forum) tend to be the better people, since they are making an effort to contribute, but I can assure you, a high percentage of people in the chat room never post a damn thing, nor (imo) contribute very much at all to the overall success of the site. I know it's perhaps not a popular opinion, but I stand by my statement that some people bask in reflected glory of mod status, or chat personality etc.
Largely this is why I feel the forums are a much better place to enjoy the site. This site isn't immune to all the usual crap that others sites suffer from too. Nobody is immune from cliques, embittered personalities and imbicilic fly-by-nights looking for a shag at a moment's notice with a fake ad etc. I just believe it's important to recognise it exists, that's the first step to managing it!
/Kid
Sex God
Quote by TheAnalogKid
Surely in order for a community to work, be it real life or online, the members DO have a responsibility to keep it working
Hi AK.
Personally, I can't see why such a responsibility should exist..
I didn't publish a manifesto when I joined this site. Nobody promised me anything, and I didn't make any promises.
If someone you've never seen before turns up in your local pub, do you make a point of saying hi? Not many people would, yet loads of people on here roll out the red carpet for newbies, not because they think it's their responsibility but because they want to. You can't expect people to act as social secretaries and go newbie hunting as some kind of duty, any more than you would in the outside world. That would be artificial, and this community isn't artificial.
As I see it, the only obligations any of us have to each other as far as our involvement on this site is concerned are those we all signed up to when we clicked on "I agree..." when we registered.
Many people do develop a loyalty to the community, and do want to keep it working, not out of any sense of obligation, but simply because it is their nature.
I for one do remember what it was like when I was new and didn't know anyone. The first reply to my first post was distinctly unfriendly and made me feel about as welcome as a fart in a spacesuit. That was one person out of thousands, who may have been having a bad day, and to have formed a conclusion about the community as a whole based on that would have been naive of me. In my first week I got 31 PMs from people welcoming me. Nobody told them they should - they did it because they are nice people.
If the community does have a responsibility, which I personally don't think it does, then I would say it lives up to that responsibility admirably.
Regards,
Ice
I think you missed my point...
It's not that people should seek out newbies day and night and welcome them... it's just that when a newbie does make an effort, ot should be embraced. There's a bit difference.
If a new person comes in a pub and does say hi, then sure, you can't expect the whole pub to stop and say hi back... but equally, you've got one hell of shitty pub if nobody says hi back.
So yeah, you can say "not my job" or "can't be arsed", or "somebody else will do it". And often it will suffice, cos somebody else did it. But eventually, it will make for a lousy atmosphere with newcomers feeling less and less welcome in the end.
Here's the typical evolution of a site....
1) The site opens
2) The owner works off his nut and recruits a few good friends who help get the site roling
3) A few people join and leave cos it's new and small
4) A few people join and stay cos they like the idea of the site, and post, and spread the word etc...
5) The site gets a bit bigger, and a few more folk join up, they don't contribute quite as much - cos they think that the site owes them a service, not the other way round.
6) The site increases futher... the owner needs more help still, and has to recruit mods to help out, some of whom he knows, some he take s good guess at suitability
7) SOme of the mods keep s level head, some don't
8) Some of the regulars wonder why they aren't mods... and some of the mods don't like some of the regulars...
9) things settle down, with a contunuous undercurrent of criticism about certain members, but both appear to cope with each other
10) New people start coming in, and a few of the regulars and a few of the mods get some silly insecurities, and start being excessively harsh with newcomers and ban them, or take the piss out of them etc
11) Other newcomers notice it, and start to feel it's a bit 'unwelcoming' so stop coming
12) There's a power struggle brewing up... usually between 2 or 3 by now established cliques in the site...
13) There's a stupid argument that gets out of hand... resulting in about half of the regulars sulking and going off to another site, whilst the remaining half feel it's a fresh start with the 'decent' ones left (themselves)
Go back to step one
this really does happen time and time again, and most of it because people on the inside can't see from the outside, and refuse to acknowledge the outsiders view.
What does it say when people claim "if you want to fit in, then you can do so by doing all the work yourself, don't expect any favours from us?" Not that good reading is it?
/Kid
It's not that people should seek out newbies day and night and welcome them... it's just that when a newbie does make an effort, ot should be embraced. There's a bit difference.
If a new person comes in a pub and does say hi, then sure, you can't expect the whole pub to stop and say hi back... but equally, you've got one hell of shitty pub if nobody says hi back.
So yeah, you can say "not my job" or "can't be arsed", or "somebody else will do it". And often it will suffice, cos somebody else did it. But eventually, it will make for a lousy atmosphere with newcomers feeling less and less welcome in the end.
Here's the typical evolution of a site....
1) The site opens
2) The owner works off his nut and recruits a few good friends who help get the site roling
3) A few people join and leave cos it's new and small
4) A few people join and stay cos they like the idea of the site, and post, and spread the word etc...
5) The site gets a bit bigger, and a few more folk join up, they don't contribute quite as much - cos they think that the site owes them a service, not the other way round.
6) The site increases futher... the owner needs more help still, and has to recruit mods to help out, some of whom he knows, some he take s good guess at suitability
7) SOme of the mods keep s level head, some don't
8) Some of the regulars wonder why they aren't mods... and some of the mods don't like some of the regulars...
9) things settle down, with a contunuous undercurrent of criticism about certain members, but both appear to cope with each other
10) New people start coming in, and a few of the regulars and a few of the mods get some silly insecurities, and start being excessively harsh with newcomers and ban them, or take the piss out of them etc
11) Other newcomers notice it, and start to feel it's a bit 'unwelcoming' so stop coming
12) There's a power struggle brewing up... usually between 2 or 3 by now established cliques in the site...
13) There's a stupid argument that gets out of hand... resulting in about half of the regulars sulking and going off to another site, whilst the remaining half feel it's a fresh start with the 'decent' ones left (themselves)
Go back to step one
this really does happen time and time again, and most of it because people on the inside can't see from the outside, and refuse to acknowledge the outsiders view.
What does it say when people claim "if you want to fit in, then you can do so by doing all the work yourself, don't expect any favours from us?" Not that good reading is it?
/Kid
