you know the sort
tight as a nats chuff
flat as a whiches tit
a bug`s dick more
so on and so forth.................
as u s as a one legged man in an ass kickin contest
you`ve been hit with the ugly stick tooooooooooooooooo many times.
was your mother a weight lifter? she must have been to raise a dumbell like you!
your that ugly you would frighten the turd out of a dogs ass.
As wet as an Otters Pocket
Gushing like lies in a manifesto
your so ugly, people have got to be over 18 to look at you
youve got a face that a dog wouldnt lick
her fanny was as loose as a wizards sleeve/ clowns pocket
you were such an ugly baby when you were born, the midwife slapped your mum
youre so fat, your arse and your tits have got different postcodes
how about...........
Shouldn't you have a license for being that ugly?
You got a face only a mother could love
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception
Just out of curiosity, are your parents siblings?
Whilst every girl has the right to be ugly, you seem to have abused that privelige!
You've got more chins than a Chinese phone book!
You got a face like a pitbull chewing a wasp!
Your so fat your arse is in another time zone!
You got a face like a slapped arse!
About as much impact as a wank against the White Cliffs of Dover, and that's mine.........
My faves are:
In and out like a vicar's dick
As much use as an ashtray on a bike
Why keep a dog and bark yourself?
I wouldn't shag him under chloriform
"Got a fanny like a ripped out fireplace".
(Sorry)
Shemess.x
Couldn't hit a barn door with a bus
As welcome as a fart under a duvet/in an astronaught siut
As welcome as a french kiss at a funeral
Short arms deep pockets
You've got more chance of finding Lord Lucan riding Shergar
You've got more chance of knitting fog
"A double bagger, one for him/her and one for you incase theirs comes off".
Shemess.x
Personally I like the one " Aface like a sscrewed up summons"