From the links for charities, on the Calendar thread, I found this survey.
Now, if you are disabled, like me, then it is worth filling in. If you are not, I would love it if you read the questions, just so as you have an idea as to the problems some people have, when it comes to sex.
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Sex Survey.
Sex God
Thanks for that Vix. This is something that I've been thinking about more and more just lately. My 15 year old daughter has CP as you know, and some others may know. She's a gorgeous girl and it terrifies me to know that she IS sexually attractive. My main worry as a mother is that she'll end up having sex due to peer pressure because I'm concerned that she'll "do it" just so that she fits in a bit better. She's always had quite a complex that she isn't part of the crowd - even though it's glaringly obvious to me that she has loads of friends.
I have no idea how her disability will affect her having intercourse, and until that day comes (I know it hasn't just yet) neither does she. <Sigh> being a parent is so difficult sometimes
I do worry so much about her now that she's got to this age - as I know every parent of a 15 year old girl must - but the added factor of her disability and low self confidence just seems to make it worse.
Hopefully one of these days she'll be able to benefit from some kind of government funded advice, but until then I'll just have to advise as well as I can and hope that I've used the right approach and she actually takes note of any advice I might give her.
As you say, reading the survey does give you a bit of an insight as to what extra considerations there are for a disabled person. I'd considered some of them before, but others were new to me. I'll be thinking about this all day now probably lol
Hugs to you
I have no idea how her disability will affect her having intercourse, and until that day comes (I know it hasn't just yet) neither does she. <Sigh> being a parent is so difficult sometimes
I do worry so much about her now that she's got to this age - as I know every parent of a 15 year old girl must - but the added factor of her disability and low self confidence just seems to make it worse.Hopefully one of these days she'll be able to benefit from some kind of government funded advice, but until then I'll just have to advise as well as I can and hope that I've used the right approach and she actually takes note of any advice I might give her.
As you say, reading the survey does give you a bit of an insight as to what extra considerations there are for a disabled person. I'd considered some of them before, but others were new to me. I'll be thinking about this all day now probably lol
Hugs to you
Sex God
Angel, I'm going to admit my ignorance here and ask what is CP?
Bev
xx
Bev
xx
Sex God
Quote by Vix
How about letting her read and do the survey? Tell her that you would not look at her answers and say that if it poses any questions, you will be happy to talk about things?
I am betting you have the most brill and open friendship wirth her (some days, eh?)
I did think about it, not sure if she'll be able to answer a lot of the questions just yet but I suppose it's worth it if it does bring up any questions for her. We do have a really good friendship (some days :lol2
but sometimes that backfires on me when she tells me a little too much 
:shock: :scared: 
Sex God
Quote by freckledbird
Angel, I'm going to admit my ignorance here and ask what is CP?
Bev
xx
Sorry Bev, Cerebral Palsy
Sex God
Thanks , I don't know an awful lot about it though . I must say, if she's open enough to tell you 'too much' sometimes, I'd be inclined to let her do the survey. Maybe there are things which she might not have dared to ask you yet and the survey will allow her to do that? (if she knows you've seen the survey in its unanswered form, she will also know that you know the topics within it - does that make sense?)
I also think that you should consider yourself lucky to have a daughter who trusts you enough to be open with you - you must be a wonderful mum
Bev
xx
. I must say, if she's open enough to tell you 'too much' sometimes, I'd be inclined to let her do the survey. Maybe there are things which she might not have dared to ask you yet and the survey will allow her to do that? (if she knows you've seen the survey in its unanswered form, she will also know that you know the topics within it - does that make sense?)I also think that you should consider yourself lucky to have a daughter who trusts you enough to be open with you - you must be a wonderful mum
Bev
xx
Quote by Angel Chat
Angel, I'm going to admit my ignorance here and ask what is CP?
Bev
xx
Sorry Bev, Cerebral Palsy
That saves me asking
. Interesting thread, as I have had contact with people with various disabilities over the past few years, due to different jobs I've had. I'm always interested to know how people with disabilities manage with things that most of wouldn't think twice about.The questions on the survey made me think about the role of the support workers in this, problems of abuse, & whether someone can put a condom on themselves, & many other things. Its also worth bearing in mind how different things are now, compared to 20 or 30 years ago, when disabled people were not "supposed" to think about these things, let alone do them.
Very interesting Vix. My 13 year old is disabled and although I doubt he will ever be in the situation of having a sexual relationship. Although many people with his disability do. It's a subject I find very scary indeed. There isn't a great deal of help about, maybe speaking to the family GP apart from that I've no idea. There has been alot of disussion as to wether people with learning disabilitys should be automaticly put on the pill etc. I remain sceptical about these so called solutions.
I also work in the public sector with children with moderate to severe learning difficulities and is a question we are asked a great deal. Even if they arn't able to have a sexual relationship it doen't stop them being aware of sexuality and having desires as we all do. I'm sure is a debate that will run forever and a day.
I also work in the public sector with children with moderate to severe learning difficulities and is a question we are asked a great deal. Even if they arn't able to have a sexual relationship it doen't stop them being aware of sexuality and having desires as we all do. I'm sure is a debate that will run forever and a day.
Sex God
Erm if you're taking the piss I think some might find that a bit offensive 
(consider the posters on this thread with disabilities or disabled relatives)
Bev
xx
PS if not then I apologise profusely in advance
(consider the posters on this thread with disabilities or disabled relatives)
Bev
xx
PS if not then I apologise profusely in advance
Quote by Noel1977
HI Vix I read the survey and I had not really thought about problems with disabled people needing to find a partner for sex before. Is there anywhere you can volunteer to help out with this sort of thing?
Hey fella read your post please and rewrite if you think you need to. I do.
Anexcellent survey there! U worked with adults with physical and mental disabilities for a number of years and have come accross quite a few people where sex was a big issue and rightly so! There is a lack of hlep/information and facilities for people in this position and in a way its pot luck if you have a care worker who will actually be willing to talk about this subject openly and be able to help with outsidee agencies although there arent any really good ones!
I know things have changed for people with disabilities over the years but I personally dont think its good enough as its still viewed by lots of people as being strange that a person with any disbility would even contemplate a sexual relationship and in this day and age that is a drastic attitude!
I just thank my lucky stars its not something I have to worry about but would like to see things progressing for others definetly!
I know things have changed for people with disabilities over the years but I personally dont think its good enough as its still viewed by lots of people as being strange that a person with any disbility would even contemplate a sexual relationship and in this day and age that is a drastic attitude!
I just thank my lucky stars its not something I have to worry about but would like to see things progressing for others definetly!
Disabilities of any kind should not mean a life without relationships or sex
I was born with no fingers on my right hand but I've never considered myself as disabled.
With me it is a case of you don't miss what you've never had.
I have never let it hold me back in anything I do, eg. bass playing for 25 years.
But I do sometimes wonder how many times I've been knocked back because of it. This is something that never occurred to me until I met my last partner. Although it didn't phase her she did say it was something that could possibly put some people off, especially if they were unaware of it before meeting. Consequently I make a point of including it in my ads, although to date, apart from a couple of compliments, I've not yet had any responses.
Question - is it a turnoff, or should I not worry about mentioning it?
(keep up the good work Vix)
I was born with no fingers on my right hand but I've never considered myself as disabled.
With me it is a case of you don't miss what you've never had.
I have never let it hold me back in anything I do, eg. bass playing for 25 years.
But I do sometimes wonder how many times I've been knocked back because of it. This is something that never occurred to me until I met my last partner. Although it didn't phase her she did say it was something that could possibly put some people off, especially if they were unaware of it before meeting. Consequently I make a point of including it in my ads, although to date, apart from a couple of compliments, I've not yet had any responses.
Question - is it a turnoff, or should I not worry about mentioning it?
(keep up the good work Vix)
