Me personally I dont think I would (maybe could) fall in love with some one if the sex wasnt at least good!.at the start ofthe relationship... However once in Love I would find it surprising if there were many people who would leave there parnter if a disabilty / disease etc made them not be able to have sex. If they did could they honestly say they were totally in love with them.
strangely enough i ve just ended a short relationship the sex was good apart from that there was nothing so i reckon you need both sex and that spark / friendship etc. to fall in love..
good post!!
A relative of mine had this problem. His girlfriend had a spine problem and she was the one who broke up the relationship so he could find someone else and she wouldnt have it any other way.
My view is love wins over but it's easy to say when not faced with it as with many things.
Hm....
as partners one needs to be compatible... one hopefully gets together because of this, + love obviously, but I think compatibility and love come hand in hand.
and then one is suppose to grow together, because love changes as the relationship gets older. However some partners find that they grow away from each other... which results in a brake...
Here comes my point, what does it mean to grow away from each other... it can be a hole number of things, such as interests, life values and sex
so... yes if the sex is not working then the chances for a brake is higher, and higher still if other aspects of the relation ship is not working.
I have bean in two relationships where it has ended because the sex has started not to work... but there were additional factors that became decisive
A film to watch is Breaking the Waves
It is very thought provoking and is about this subject
Well what an interesting topic - my wife found god sometime ago (around 14 months) and I have been in a state of enforced celibacy for that period now, with the exception of 1 meeting with an excellent lady from this site in November last year, I will not leave the relationship as I have 2 young children, but is 'doing my bloody head in' - so the short answer is yes sexless relationship exist, but are seldom satisfying.
Obviously I can only speak from personal experience and believe that I would stick around if the sex wasn't 'up to scratch'.
Due to the fact that I have been studying Buddhism for quite a few years now I have learnt that desire is usually the root cause of most of our woes, whether it's for sex or money or material objects etc. I don't want to bang on about it because I will probably wander way off topic!
Anyway of course I have desires sexually and I'm far from perfect, but I find it helpful for me to stop and think for a moment and try to get it into perspective.
KM
x
The big question is, can’t or won’t
If you think your partner can’t have sex, the result say of an accident or severe illness, it’s so much easier to accept a loss of part of a relationship.
If however, one partner has the suspicion, well founded or not, that the other won’t have sex, then the whole thing becomes much harder to live with.
If, Fire were to have an undeniable medical reason not to have sex again, our relationship would I think be strong enough to survive.
If, even against all logical reasoning, I felt she chose not to have sex, then I’m sure it would be much harder to live with.
Stormwalker
In a way I guess Morbius shouls answer this for us, mainly because due to my periods of depression the first thing that goes out of the window is intimacy.
We have a very strong healthy relationship and should i never ever want sex again, he has my permission to seek it elsewhere (with my knowledge obviously). Should the boo be on the other foot? I'd definitely stick with him and he'd most probably afford me the same agreement.
We've invested too much love in each other to let a lack of sex between us drive us apart.
Cx
Impossible to answer that one because it is an option and the open relationship the we've had since we got together wouldn't just suddenly disappear. We do both have strong sexual appetites (well his always is, mine is when I'm not ill!!!!!) and so we appreciate how difficult lack of intimacy is in our partner. I'd rather have him happy and satisifed (because I know how important sex is to him) and he deserves that from me.
Cx
Very thought provoking
I feel that on a short term bases sexless relashionships can survive but if we are talking long term then i feel that very few relashionships can survive this without going else where.
Sex is more to a woman then just a physical act.A woman needs to know that she is cared for,wanted,is physically attracted to her yes she can get this in other ways but to a woman the sexual relashionship is the final bond it makes her feel physically attracted,gives her confidence in herself as a woman.(My mum use to say that a women that is loved & cared for walks taller in life) Mmmmmmm wasn't quiet sure what she ment at the time.
Sex is just a physical act which meets our physical needs but it doesn't meet our emosional ones so you need it all to be complete in a relashionship.
Maybe i'm talking a lot of what do you think? I'd be interested to hear
i completely agree with you saffy. i recently broke it off with a partner who was impotent due to smoking. he either coulndn't or wouldn't stop.
to begin with it was just the lack of sex that got to me, but as time went on, i started to wonder whether he found me attractive, cared for me, was committed to me.
then i started to doubt myself and lose confidence in my own sexuality and to imagine that i was too old for him, not pretty enough etc.
i also have friend who plays away from home as his wife is not interested in sex. he still finds her very attractive after 20 years together and doesn't want to leave her or his children. but he finds her disinterest in him very hard to cope with. as it's not a problem for her, she just refuses to acknowledge that it is a problem for him, and no amount of talking or explaining seems to make any difference. in every other way they have a good relationship but it's just a blind spot. he's only 39 - should he put up with sex 10 times a year?
Hello,
i have been with my wife for 18 years we have two kids 4 years and a year and a half and that was the last time we had sex we get on se well have a laugh but there is no sex between us and i ask if would could go and see someone about it but she just laughed,
i was getting so grumpy over the bad tht when i did bump into a girl i ad not seen for years we ended up as sex buddies( after a year) we never talk i just go round and we have great sex,
and i know its having my cake and eat it ,
but my home life is fantastic now i do not want a divorse,
but if it had carried on the way it was thats what would of happened .
so now you can all throw eggs at me for being a bad man
My partner has MS, and the situation is going to deteriorate with time.
I love her to bits, she is not just my partner, she is my best mate.
Come the day when our sex life is over, she will still be my best mate.
but for now we live for the moment, we both know what the future eventually holds for us.
: )
it's a bit thought provoking for a sunday evening isnt it 
