SH and its somewhat questionable members

How best should we handle members like this?

5 Jun 2010

This is our current profile text. I just wanted to share it a little more so we might give some thought to how we can handle these members and maybe improve the site for everyone.
Having a rest from SH: Having a rest from SH: Having a rest from SH: Having a rest from SH: Having a rest from SH: Having a rest from SH: Having a rest from SH: Having a rest from SH: Having a rest from SH: Having a rest from SH: Having a rest from SH: Having a rest from SH:
A lot of people we know are asking us why difficult one this and it has to be worded very carefully.
We found out last week that a couple from this site have been gossiping about us (Clearly not discreet at all but we all know it happens)
Under normal circumstances we'd just ignore most things specially given who the couple are, sadly this time that wasn't possible!
The gossip was just so vile and disgusting it was hard to ignore, a week or so later you know what the more I think about it the less important it seems.
I just wish I could name and shame, I guess if I did I would lower myself to their somewhat smelly environment of the gutter.
So rant over other than to say this:
A lot of you will guess who it might be as they are no stranger to the odd controversial moment in their SH history. There is one thing I will not do:
I will not disclose who to anyone so dont ask!

5 Jun 2010

It certainly was not us...or should that be me. lol

I believe a bloody name and shame policy for many things on here like timewasters, but as usual there are always two sides to every arguement and others may see things differently.
IF you can prove that the gossip has been happening and more important be able to prove it, then I would suggest going direct to admin with your concerns.
They really do go out of their way to help people in matters such as yours.
That would be my advice...admins door is always open.

5 Jun 2010

You can't name and shame so that's clearly not an option, even if it wins in your poll.
If it's that bad and you have evidence, report them. Logs are kept of chat so they can be checked :thumbup:

5 Jun 2010

Hello FB xxx

5 Jun 2010

Oh, and if they've had other 'questionable' moments, I'm sure these could well be documented if others have reported them already.
Hi Kenty xxx

5 Jun 2010

Quote by kentswingers777
It certainly was not us...or should that be me.
I believe a bloody name and shame policy for many things on here like timewasters, but as usual there are always two sides to every arguement and others may see things differently.
IF you can prove that the gossip has been happening and more important be able to prove it, then I would suggest going direct to admin with your concerns.
They really do go out of their way to help people in matters such as yours.
That would be my advice...admins door is always open.

Admin have already been informed sadly the gossip was face to face with another member, which got back to us because we get along very well with that member.
Therefore Admin are really unable to do anything, which I fully understand, although I still suspect they will have gossiped in chat as well and any checks or further info from anyone would be gratefully received.

5 Jun 2010

IF the other couple will back your story and also inform admin, at the very least they could have a little word with said members....I am only guessing on that though.

5 Jun 2010

Ah well, if they're talking about you they're leaving someone else alone.

5 Jun 2010

Quote by Freckledbird
Ah well, if they're talking about you they're leaving someone else alone.

LOL thanks lol

5 Jun 2010

Suck it up. Shit happens. Been there, done that, got the t-shirt. rolleyes

It's not pleasant, especially when you actually trusted people and then you hear the stuff they've said to other people about you. It's really not nice.
My advice... ignore it. You know it's not true and the people who matter will know better, or you'd like to hope so anyway. If they don't... well, that's their issue and not yours. If they haven't got the balls to ask you if it's true and choose to believe what they hear then hell mend them. It's their loss, certainly not yours.
:thumbup:
~author old and cynical~ wink

5 Jun 2010

^^^^^^^ What she said!! ^^^^^^^
It's never nice to be traduced, but the best thing is to rise above it.
Will kiss

5 Jun 2010

Quote by willxx69
^^^^^^^ What she said!! ^^^^^^^
It's never nice to be traduced, but the best thing is to rise above it.
Will

What he said (would do them cute arrows, but a) I can't find em on the keyboard, and b) it's too dark to look!
You obviously mean more to them than they do you - let them get all stewed up, yabber on about crap, let it work itself out .......... while you, have worded things beautufully
"a week or so later you know what the more I think about it the less important it seems."
They seem to be spending quite a bit of life thinking about you .......... whereas you have just carried on as per normal, hopefully not been affected, still tickety boo .... what better revenge can you get? lol

6 Jun 2010

I've loved reading some of your comments everyone.
They've been insightful and often kind as well, although I am still left with the feeling that to make this a community worth being involved in maybe, and I do say 'maybe' as I'm not entirely sure, the rest of the community should be able to rid the descent folk on this site of the not so descent?

6 Jun 2010

Quote by CarlnAdele
I've loved reading some of your comments everyone.
They've been insightful and often kind as well, although I am still left with the feeling that to make this a community worth being involved in maybe, and I do say 'maybe' as I'm not entirely sure, the rest of the community should be able to rid the descent folk on this site of the not so descent?

Sorry, but who is to say who is decent and who isnt decent? Unfortunately, it would be one persons word against another and how do you say who is telling the truth and who is doing the stiring? Can of worms, me thinks lol

6 Jun 2010

Quote by Naughty Wigan Couple
Sorry, but who is to say who is decent and who isnt decent? Unfortunately, it would be one persons word against another and how do you say who is telling the truth and who is doing the stiring? Can of worms, me thinks

Perhaps this site should have some sort of 'reputation' system?

6 Jun 2010

Essex.
There was to be no verification so I would not rule out anything. wink

7 Jun 2010

you will always get people who think your nice and some sadly that do not.
its just the way it goes on these sites im afraid.
some use people on here to score brownie points just to piss off someone else or take part in chatroom bullying for their kicks.
Dont let it get you down as im sure some of us on here have had a crossed word with another member at some point.
Where lots of people meet,views will always be different and same with opinions.
if someone has the knife out and wants to twist it in, let them!
the real friends and people who know you will decide for themsleves and if they suddenly stop talking to you then what sort of friend were they in the first place.
here is something to think about what writer Arthur Smith once said.
'i don't care what people think about me. If they hate me FUCK EM!'
and he is em.