Dear Pololady
Please can you confirm that my avatar is compliant with SH trading standards.
I can confirm that YES i am horny, YES i'm from Stockport and YES i'm a girl.
I look forward to recieving confirmation that i am uo to the SH Standards.
Kind Regards
HornyStockportGirl
XXX
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SH Trading Standards
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Quote by hornystockportgirl
Dear Pololady
Please can you confirm that my avatar is compliant with SH trading standards.
I can confirm that YES i am horny, YES i'm from Stockport and YES i'm a girl.
I look forward to recieving confirmation that i am uo to the SH Standards.
Kind Regards
HornyStockportGirl
XXX
Ah, but are you kneeling on the bed at this moment wearing that revealing black attire ??
Me, I am bald, have a small passing resemblence to Eddie the Eagle (if you are blind that is) can squark like a Eagle (or is that squeal like a pig) and can just about fly with the aid of a parachute.
:wink: :wink: 
Next you'll be admitting to wearing flip flops :cry: 
Sex God
I have to confess I do not have this tan - but I am trying to wash it off :!:
Quote by cool4catz
The aim of the SHTSA is to monitor and control the use of misleading usernames and avatars, which may lead to extreme disappointment.
Whilst the SHTSA Officers will endeavour to check all usernames and avatars as compliant, this volume of work will mean some delay in ensuring all standards are being met across the website.
When do I get a visit from the SH Trading Standards, PoloLady?
Special Officer Big Burt will be making a visit to your home address shortly. Please give your full co-operation. Stand facing the wall, hands on the wall, legs spread. The only person it will hurt if you struggle is you.
Sex God
We always trust Mistress Polo to inject some
sensible regulations in the forum . Would like to
state that the fine fine ass in the avatar is
solely the property of Silky ( although I borrow it now and then ) .
While were doing the standards though we have to
ensure that PoloLady's avatar is genuine .
1) Is she a lady ?
2) Does she have a hole roughly central ?
3) Does she taste of peppermint ?
4) Even though we are sure the breasts represented
are hers we feel it has to clarified if the breast are
actually 'made' of solid peppermint .?
As under european food labelling regulations even if
when sucked they taste of mint , they would have to
be discribed as " Polo FLAVOURED"
sensible regulations in the forum . Would like to
state that the fine fine ass in the avatar is
solely the property of Silky ( although I borrow it now and then ) .
While were doing the standards though we have to
ensure that PoloLady's avatar is genuine .
1) Is she a lady ?
2) Does she have a hole roughly central ?
3) Does she taste of peppermint ?
4) Even though we are sure the breasts represented
are hers we feel it has to clarified if the breast are
actually 'made' of solid peppermint .?
As under european food labelling regulations even if
when sucked they taste of mint , they would have to
be discribed as " Polo FLAVOURED"
Perhaps, PoloLady, your nickname refers to a certain game and you can be found at weekends down at the club, riding on horseback and wielding a mallet?
I can confirm that my avatar is a fair and accurate representation of the lower half of my face and shoulders. The backgound of my avatar is a fair and accurate representation of my living room.
Now to my nickname. My dictionary refers to a Drifter as 'a wanderer who has no established residence or means of support'. I would like to confirm that this is wholly misleading in my case, although this is not my intention. I chose the name Drifter, as I am rather fond of the confectionery bar of the same name.
I hope this clarifies the matter to your satisfaction.
Yours Sincerely
I can confirm that my avatar is a fair and accurate representation of the lower half of my face and shoulders. The backgound of my avatar is a fair and accurate representation of my living room.
Now to my nickname. My dictionary refers to a Drifter as 'a wanderer who has no established residence or means of support'. I would like to confirm that this is wholly misleading in my case, although this is not my intention. I chose the name Drifter, as I am rather fond of the confectionery bar of the same name.
I hope this clarifies the matter to your satisfaction.
Yours Sincerely
Quote by Silk and Big G
We always trust Mistress Polo to inject some
sensible regulations in the forum . Would like to
state that the fine fine ass in the avatar is
solely the property of Silky ( although I borrow it now and then ) .
While were doing the standards though we have to
ensure that PoloLady's avatar is genuine .
1) Is she a lady ? lady (leidi) n., pl -dies 2. a polite name for a woman.
2) Does she have a hole roughly central ? Yes, well there was one in the centre of my legs last time I looked
3) Does she taste of peppermint ?
4) Even though we are sure the breasts represented
are hers we feel it has to clarified if the breast are
actually 'made' of solid peppermint .?
As under european food labelling regulations even if
when sucked they taste of mint , they would have to
be discribed as " Polo FLAVOURED"
With regards to the POLO references: the trading use of the word/acronym 'polo' is well documented on Swinging Heaven. However, to ensure no misunderstanding by consumers, I have printed on my back (with indelible marker) "this product naturally contains no mint. Any mint flavouring found will have been deposited by a previous consumer. No liability will be accepted for any mint flavouring found on this product."
Quote by PoloLady
Dear SunBunny
Thank you for your comments. I am please to confirm one of my departments undercover officers has already carried out a thorough inspection in relation to your avatar and informs me there is no case to answer. You therefore are fully compliant with the Regulations.
Thank you for your full co-operation in this matter.
PoloLady
CEO, SHTSA
A thorough investigation huh???? I never felt a thing :shock:
Could said undercover agent please return to the undercover site and re-investigate said avatar in the privacy of my own duvet??????????????????????????????
Thank you muchly...
your willing compliant and ever-obedient servant.
Quote by SunBunny
A thorough investigation huh???? I never felt a thing :shock:
Having listened to my officer’s report and compared his findings to your statement I must apologise for any inefficiency in the investigation technique. I assure you a thorough investigation will take place into the officer’s conduct and I will take the appropriate disciplinary action should a failure to complete his duties have occurred.
Quote by PoloLady
A thorough investigation huh???? I never felt a thing :shock:
Having listened to my officer’s report and compared his findings to your statement I must apologise for any inefficiency in the investigation technique. I assure you a thorough investigation will take place into the officer’s conduct and I will take the appropriate disciplinary action should a failure to complete his duties have occurred.
How come you get all the best jobs?????
PRESS RELEASE:
I am please to confirm that due to the success and subsequent expansion of the SHTSA, a number of new appointments are being made.
To ensure our Officers conduct their duties in the utmost professional manner at all times, I am happy to announce the appointment of a new role within the agency. With immediate effect SunBunny will be taking on the role of Internal Disciplinary Officer for the agency. Her key duty will be to investigate any conduct complaints regarding our Officers investigations.
PoloLady
CEO, SHTSA
I am please to confirm that due to the success and subsequent expansion of the SHTSA, a number of new appointments are being made.
To ensure our Officers conduct their duties in the utmost professional manner at all times, I am happy to announce the appointment of a new role within the agency. With immediate effect SunBunny will be taking on the role of Internal Disciplinary Officer for the agency. Her key duty will be to investigate any conduct complaints regarding our Officers investigations.
PoloLady
CEO, SHTSA
Quote by PoloLady
I am happy to announce the appointment of a new role within the agency. With immediate effect SunBunny will be taking on the role of Internal Disciplinary Officer for the agency. Her key duty will be to investigate any conduct complaints regarding our Officers investigations.
PoloLady
CEO, SHTSA
:evil2: :evil2: :evil2:
:notes:
I hereby endeavour to perform my honoured role to the best of my ability and subsequently report back any member indiscrepancies, big or small, to the appropriate authorities, with a full and graphical summary and if necessary, the odd specimen.
Any conduct complaints regarding Officers' investigations will be subject to a detailed and lengthy disciplinary and no body part will be released from my control until I am satisfied that said officer is worthy of my discipline and suitably punished for misleading the obedient masses and, quite frankly, not doing their job properly.
I humbly salute you Our Lady Of The Polo,
Your insatiable, grateful, ever-willing servant,
Sunbunny
Internal Disciplinary Officer for the SH Trading Standards (avatar division).
:smoke:
Dear PoloLady
It appears that my first disciplinary victim is being very elusive and therefore his punishment has now doubled. I thought it prudent to inform you publically on this matter, lest he decided to shirk his disciplinary and go crying to the CEO. Should he do this he will be paraded at the next munch in nothing but my bunny tail, DD cups over his ears and a carrot up his jacksie.
It also appears that this is my 500th post and so any complaints regarding my new role should be rejected and ridiculed.
I hereby declare myself as worthy as I have ever been of delivering such serious professional duties to assist in SH Trading Standards and the integrity of all members before and after misuse.
Could the accused please step forward and take his punishment like a man.
Yours,
SunBunny.
It appears that my first disciplinary victim is being very elusive and therefore his punishment has now doubled. I thought it prudent to inform you publically on this matter, lest he decided to shirk his disciplinary and go crying to the CEO. Should he do this he will be paraded at the next munch in nothing but my bunny tail, DD cups over his ears and a carrot up his jacksie.
It also appears that this is my 500th post and so any complaints regarding my new role should be rejected and ridiculed.
I hereby declare myself as worthy as I have ever been of delivering such serious professional duties to assist in SH Trading Standards and the integrity of all members before and after misuse.
Could the accused please step forward and take his punishment like a man.
Yours,
SunBunny.
