I guess we all know the ethos of swinging is share and share alike without emotional attachment, but have you ever met someone who you feel so strongly about you cant possibly share them with someone else?
If so, what did you/are you doing about it?
Do you throw caution to the wind and get involved knowing your probably going to get hurt or do you stay well away?
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Sharing dilemma
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Sex God
I recently met a lady I would dearly love to have all to myself(or all to myself as a couple me and the wife)
My wife know all about it and nothing was hidden...
I am very protective of this lady and she knows that as does my wife but it could not ever go anywhere else..
I love my wife and kids and I'm sure the "other" lady has far bigger fish to fry than me ;-)
My wife know all about it and nothing was hidden...
I am very protective of this lady and she knows that as does my wife but it could not ever go anywhere else..
I love my wife and kids and I'm sure the "other" lady has far bigger fish to fry than me ;-)
With all of my previous partners I've mentioned to them as subtely as is possible that I'd like to see them with another person or dropped hints about the swinging scene, and none of them would even entertain the thought. I don't think it meant that I loved them any less by wanting to share them. I have friends that are married and will sleep behind their wifes back, and that's not something I'd ever do so being in a relationship with a swinger seems perfect to me and I'd imagine you form a very strong trust as its not like you have to hide your desires or pretend they dont exist.
The woman to whom im refering is a swinger as is her casual male friend
She and I fancy eachother very much and there is a great deal of chemistry between us, but for me it goes deeper. Her friend knows she has met me and obviously feels threatened in some way as he doesnt want to meet me.
She wants to meet me for sex and i hate the feeling im being used, yet im loath to walk away because i find her so attractive in so many ways.
Twisting my mellon man
ps, this is my 100th post
She and I fancy eachother very much and there is a great deal of chemistry between us, but for me it goes deeper. Her friend knows she has met me and obviously feels threatened in some way as he doesnt want to meet me.
She wants to meet me for sex and i hate the feeling im being used, yet im loath to walk away because i find her so attractive in so many ways.
Twisting my mellon man
ps, this is my 100th post
Sex God
It appears you cant handle the sex without the commitment...
Best to walk away if the other person isnt/wont be commited to the lifestyle..
Best to walk away if the other person isnt/wont be commited to the lifestyle..
It's a very fine line to walk hun but I would suggest not meeting up with her for a while until your feelings have subsided at least.
It's easy to become fond of someone you meet regularly ( as with me and my regular friend ) and that's ok until it becomes too deep then it gets to dangerous territory.
Only you can decide what's right for you hunni and I hope you manage to sort it out
It's easy to become fond of someone you meet regularly ( as with me and my regular friend ) and that's ok until it becomes too deep then it gets to dangerous territory.
Only you can decide what's right for you hunni and I hope you manage to sort it out
Quote by Geminifemale
The woman to whom im refering is a swinger as is her casual male friend
She and I fancy eachother very much and there is a great deal of chemistry between us, but for me it goes deeper. Her friend knows she has met me and obviously feels threatened in some way as he doesnt want to meet me.
She wants to meet me for sex and i hate the feeling im being used, yet im loath to walk away because i find her so attractive in so many ways.
Twisting my mellon man
ps, this is my 100th post
Why do you feel used? Surely meeting up for sex is what you both set out to do. So id have to agree with Sassy and say that if you can its best to let your feelings cool down a bit before you meet her again.
Louise xx
Quote by louise_and_joe
The woman to whom im refering is a swinger as is her casual male friend
She and I fancy eachother very much and there is a great deal of chemistry between us, but for me it goes deeper. Her friend knows she has met me and obviously feels threatened in some way as he doesnt want to meet me.
She wants to meet me for sex and i hate the feeling im being used, yet im loath to walk away because i find her so attractive in so many ways.
Twisting my mellon man
ps, this is my 100th post
Why do you feel used? Surely meeting up for sex is what you both set out to do. So id have to agree with Sassy and say that if you can its best to let your feelings cool down a bit before you meet her again.
Louise xx
..and so do I.
Sex is one thing and emotion another, but they can and do exist side by side, each feeding the other. What you need to do is ask what emotion it is you feel and what do they feel. Then take a step back. Look at the whole picture and decide. Then you can walk away, or go back.
The only way swinging can work is when all parties are happy and agreeable with a situation. If there is a third party that is uneasy, I personally wouldn't be going there.
If your feelings are deeper than just a night of fun you should be leaving the relationship as friendship regardless of the sexual attraction because Gemini hun you'll probably be the one getting hurt in the long run.
The only guy I've mixed sex with emotion was the one I married.
If your feelings are deeper than just a night of fun you should be leaving the relationship as friendship regardless of the sexual attraction because Gemini hun you'll probably be the one getting hurt in the long run.
The only guy I've mixed sex with emotion was the one I married.
all parties have to be very aware and hppy with the situation. I do know a couple who only sing with another couple they are very close almost like a 4 way marrage then swinging
I must admit to some pangs of jealousy with my partner but i guess they are natural feelings and i know we love each other. Similrly to our friends her indoors prefers to keep to one or two partners, both married who she seea regularly one i know well the other is the mysterious stranger as i call him though we met and he is very nice.
I prefer to have a wider range of friends and strictly nsa.
well to finish this ramble i did have a tremendous soft spot for one women, maybe even a crush but i guess i was also beng protective as she did work with me as well.
i would say any doubts or worries and walk away otherwise it isn't swinging in my book but reltionship territory.
I must admit to some pangs of jealousy with my partner but i guess they are natural feelings and i know we love each other. Similrly to our friends her indoors prefers to keep to one or two partners, both married who she seea regularly one i know well the other is the mysterious stranger as i call him though we met and he is very nice.
I prefer to have a wider range of friends and strictly nsa.
well to finish this ramble i did have a tremendous soft spot for one women, maybe even a crush but i guess i was also beng protective as she did work with me as well.
i would say any doubts or worries and walk away otherwise it isn't swinging in my book but reltionship territory.
Quote by Geminifemale
... Her friend knows she has met me and obviously feels threatened in some way as he doesnt want to meet me.
I don't think this is so obvious
I have no interest in meeting quite a few of my friends bed-pals, but it is not because I feel threatened by them. I either don't facy them, know they only meet for 1-2-1 or they are into different things and their time together is their time.
Quote by Geminifemale
She wants to meet me for sex and i hate the feeling im being used...
Ditto to all the previous comments about walking away and cooling it.
If you are feeling used because someone wants to have sex with you without committing to you - have a think about why you are here and what emotional damage you could end up doing yourself.
Quote by Geminifemale
I guess we all know the ethos of swinging is share and share alike without emotional attachment, but have you ever met someone who you feel so strongly about you cant possibly share them with someone else?
If so, what did you/are you doing about it?
Do you throw caution to the wind and get involved knowing your probably going to get hurt or do you stay well away?
An this is why I dont take part in the *scene*
I know me too well.... :? Tempted once or twice.. but thats it.xanaisx
not having actually had my first swinging experience i would like to think that i didnt get emotionally involved. I have a partner who i am very happy with and i have that special someone.
if it was going to get emotional and more complicated i would have to walk away.
guess we will have to see when it happens.
if it was going to get emotional and more complicated i would have to walk away.
guess we will have to see when it happens.
Quote by Geminifemale
I guess we all know the ethos of swinging is share and share alike without emotional attachment, but have you ever met someone who you feel so strongly about you cant possibly share them with someone else? Yes.
If so, what did you/are you doing about it? Work in progress.
i guess this all depends on the reaction of the person your feeling like this about...
if they felt the same then i guess you could both talk about this and go for it.
if they wanted a relationshp but still wanted to swing, well then what.
i have met people who i have become good friends with at various times in the last 20 years soe guys have felt more involved and then said they dont want to "share" me with anyone else. what have i done? made it clear thats not who i am,Swinging for me isnt just a thing im trying, its about a part of who i am.
yes ive been single a long time, but thats is because i cant deny who i am and un till i meet a guy who we equally click with who is in this as a life style then ill remain single.
if i met one half of a swinging couple and it was clear from them the other half wasnt happy with it then i would have to stop seeing them.
if your feling used then you need to stop. your peace of mind and feeling happy with who you are at the end of the day is whats the most important thing.
good luck with it all.
xx fem xxx
if they felt the same then i guess you could both talk about this and go for it.
if they wanted a relationshp but still wanted to swing, well then what.
i have met people who i have become good friends with at various times in the last 20 years soe guys have felt more involved and then said they dont want to "share" me with anyone else. what have i done? made it clear thats not who i am,Swinging for me isnt just a thing im trying, its about a part of who i am.
yes ive been single a long time, but thats is because i cant deny who i am and un till i meet a guy who we equally click with who is in this as a life style then ill remain single.
if i met one half of a swinging couple and it was clear from them the other half wasnt happy with it then i would have to stop seeing them.
if your feling used then you need to stop. your peace of mind and feeling happy with who you are at the end of the day is whats the most important thing.
good luck with it all.
xx fem xxx
Sex God
Quote by HornyBristolGuy
if it was going to get emotional and more complicated i would have to walk away.
Easy to say - nigh impossible to do when the bug has bitten. And who's to say when or whether it will. These things cannot be forecast. All of a sudden you find yerself there - don't know how you got there - but you're there.
If you have the opportunity to consider whether, then I think I'd say don't (when in doubt - don't!).
That said the alternative (getting involved) can provide some of the most intensely pleasurable moments of one's life so don't knock it - but it probably ain't swinging.
By the way I'm not having a go at you - it is more a comment on the theoretical approach that is easy to expound but is not too practicable. There's at least one other example on this thread.
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