Should I change from 'single fem' to 'couple'

11 Oct 2011

As per subject... Thinking of changing my account type. So that I can blend in a little more, especially in the chatrooms. Frankly I am being overwhelmed by the amount of attention I get. I know how it is, because I am always checking out the pink "men" myself lol

it's a rarity and hard to resist. I can't stand having to ignore dozens of people though, and I can't stand the constant requests. Also, not only in the chatrooms but throughout, I find that as a woman on her own I tend to attract a lot of people with very specific&rigid agendas (eg. the couples that only look for a bi-fem or the single men that only look for a woman).
My husband doesn't mind *what* I do to my account, but it is mine and will continue to be mine exclusively - ie. I will be a woman posing as a couple rolleyes

. Is it bad to be misrepresenting my situation? Will I get in trouble with those looking for couples? I don't want to mislead anybody, I just need some space/a chance to interract without being on the spot constantly sad

What do you think?

12 Oct 2011

I'm on here as a single female, simply because I am seeking my own fun. I have clearly stated on my profile that I am married, and my husband knows and consents to what I am doing. Whether people reading it choose to believe that or not is up to them. I have also said that I am seeking a single female, or a couple where the guy is happy to just watch, yet I have had any number of requests from the male half of a couple asking for 3-somes (as well as the odd single guy hoping to get lucky rolleyes

). People will read what they want to see and ignore the rest, but I agree that single females are a target for the ravening hoards. Especially in the chatrooms. You can make use of the block button for unsolicited whispers, but then you might miss the "right" person trying to make contact, especially in a busy room. If you are searching as a single female, stay as a single female, and weed out the chaff as you go. If you are honest in your profile, and find people are not reading it the way you intended, I doubt switching to a "couple" where only you will be playing will do little to ensure that your message gets across. Good luck in your quest ;)

12 Oct 2011

I agree - be true to who/what you are

12 Oct 2011

Quote by pebble
Frankly I am being overwhelmed by the amount of attention I get.

Luck bugger :lol2:
Before you change account I would suggest you be honest about your situation in the 'about me' section of your profile and in the 'looking for' list.
This is the first place people go when they want to know what you are about, as you are currently a rather cryptic mystery girl with an attractive picture you will get anything and everything arriving in your inbox and whispers.
Good luck ;)

12 Oct 2011

Quote by Newgirl09
I agree - be true to who/what you are

Is really what I am trying to do, stay true. I try to remain respectful and approachable, because this is the way I am. But it is real onslaught and after a while I can see me picking up certain single-fem behaviour (ignoring whispers, not replying to messages, dismissiveness, poor attention to conversations, arrogance... list goes on). Pretender, because I do not have a specific agenda I can't really weed out people - I could never and wouldn't to say "no single men", or "no whispers", I want to talk. I would never block any person either, not even the offensive ones, it goes against my principles.

Quote by Big_Fraser
Before you change account I would suggest you be honest about your situation in the 'about me' section of your profile and in the 'looking for' list.

Unfortunately, 'my looking for' list right now couldn't be any more accurate or honest than what it is. As for my profile text... My tendency is to have very rich (long and boring some say!), disarmingly honest and sincere text, I have tried that a few times so far and probably will try again. But I take it down, everytime, because nice though it is to come across somebody that really gets it, it creates familiarity with people that think they get it but don't. But really, NO MATTER what I write on my profile, everyone and their dog will approach me as... a single female. Is all that matters to them and is why I am so keen to shed it off. sad

12 Oct 2011

Fill your profile in properly. You dont need to be rude, simply clear. The air of mystery really doesnt help.

12 Oct 2011

Quote by Ben_Minx
Fill your profile in properly. You dont need to be rude, simply clear. The air of mystery really doesnt help.

:thumbup:
Although poetry is all very nice, if you're going to have 'confront me with you dream' written a few times in your profile text then that is exactly what the hoards will do! If you don't fill out your profile saying who you are, what you want and who you are looking for then how is anyone meant to know?
I would say that if you play as a single girl (ie. hubby is never there when you meet whether joining in or not) then keep your profile as a single girl. If hubby goes along to meets with you, to join in, just to watch, etc then you are a couple.
We don't look for single girls but it does annoy me when you get a single girl approach you saying that they only play with hubby/partner. In my eyes, they're a couple! I think some 'single girls' do this to get the attention that you seem to be trying to get away from.

12 Oct 2011

jeez i must have been going wrong somewhere in the past 5 yrs i've had a single fem account......never been bombarded with messages either in chat or as mail lol..but then again maybe my sarky rep precedes me, either that or i'm just an ugly old troll lol.
( n before someone picks up i have a cpl's account..its a very recent change)
In answer to the original question I think you should be honest..if your on here as a single fem and change your account to that of a couple, just so you can have a bit of peace then you are deceiving the genuine cpls out there looking for a cpl. There are block buttons to stop mail n im sure you can disable specific users in the chat room from messaging you (apologise if im wrong about this bit)....like i said have never been particularly harrassed lol
Chelle
x

12 Oct 2011

Quote by pebble
But really, NO MATTER what I write on my profile, everyone and their dog will approach me as... a single female. Is all that matters to them and is why I am so keen to shed it off.

I dont think this will change much if your switch to a couple profile, a picture of a semi naked woman with no qualifying profile text is going to attract interest, with enough interest you get unwanted interest.
Do you know what you want / are looking for, If so why so coy about it? dunno

12 Oct 2011

My thoughts are that you just state politely at the start of your profile blurb (Most clicking on a profile will at least glance at the first sentence) that,"Though your not wishing to offend you will not be replying to mail from people who are outside of your criteria", then ignore the stuff that comes unsolicited

12 Oct 2011

Quote by Funlovers2009
I would say that if you play as a single girl (ie. hubby is never there when you meet whether joining in or not) then keep your profile as a single girl. If hubby goes along to meets with you, to join in, just to watch, etc then you are a couple.

So if a single fem has 2 or 3 guys (maybe hubby, maybe not) that she plays with as a couple (or within a group scenario), what should their profiles be?
Spanner...check, works...check wink

12 Oct 2011

Quote by Derek_kelp

I would say that if you play as a single girl (ie. hubby is never there when you meet whether joining in or not) then keep your profile as a single girl. If hubby goes along to meets with you, to join in, just to watch, etc then you are a couple.

So if a single fem has 2 or 3 guys (maybe hubby, maybe not) that she plays with as a couple (or within a group scenario), what should their profiles be?
Spanner...check, works...check wink

If she is single but has 2 or 3 fuck buddies (maybe hubby, maybe not) and wont meet alone, she should have a single profile but state in her profile text that she has a choice of fuck buddies and never meets without at least one of them.
If she is single but has 2 or 3 fuck buddies (maybe hubby, maybe not) but still plays alone sometimes, she should say on her profile that she is single, will meet alone or has a choice of regular fuck buddies so can also meet as a couple.
If she has 1 fuck buddy (maybe hubby, maybe not) and never meets alone she should have a couple's profile.
How I see it is, if you explain things on your profile then people know where they stand and what you have to offer. It ain't rocket science! :wink:

12 Oct 2011

lol so basically the overwhelming advice is be honest about your situation I think! I have had both a single fem and couples profile and can honestly say I have been treated exactly the same with both ie unsolicited whispers in chat, dodgy pics sent etc. Equally I have found whatever you put on your profile some will read it and many will not - but I agree with Ben, its best to complete as much as you can as it does help the genuine people.
If you really are open to all possibilities and dont want to block the unsolicited chat then Im afraid you will have to accept that you will get just that and will need to make your own judgement on how to apply filtering.
You can only change your own behaviour, not others - unfortunately :-)

12 Oct 2011

Fun I was talking about the guys wink

let us say they only saw the lady, what would they be? lol

12 Oct 2011

one begins to wonder how the concept of multitasking women got about...........

13 Oct 2011

Quote by whiplash
jeez i must have been going wrong somewhere in the past 5 yrs i've had a single fem account......never been bombarded with messages either in chat or as mail lol..but then again maybe my sarky rep precedes me, either that or i'm just an ugly old troll lol.
( n before someone picks up i have a cpl's account..its a very recent change)
In answer to the original question I think you should be honest..if your on here as a single fem and change your account to that of a couple, just so you can have a bit of peace then you are deceiving the genuine cpls out there looking for a cpl. There are block buttons to stop mail n im sure you can disable specific users in the chat room from messaging you (apologise if im wrong about this bit)....like i said have never been particularly harrassed lol
Chelle
x

Whiplash, ermmm, not sure what I would let myself in for. lol

13 Oct 2011

for my 2 penneth I'd say be honest AND FIRM about who you are and what you want. If you don't then you're unlikely to find what you're looking for so easily. TBH though you will always have to sort the wheat from the chaff, that's the price you pay for being popular, try and take it as a compliment.
If you make it clear you don't suffer fools that don't fit the rules ( apologies for sounding like Mr T ) then hopefully you'll get less bother. Either ignore or rebut those that ignore that.
Alternatively ask Whiplash how she frightens em off bolt

though for my money I'm rather intrigued.

18 Oct 2011

Quote by motorcyclerob
that's the price you pay for being popular, try and take it as a compliment.

If my popularity had anything to do with me, I would ;)

Quote by Funlovers2009
Although poetry is all very nice, if you're going to have 'confront me with you dream' written a few times in your profile text then that is exactly what the hoards will do!

It was an honest proposal! I would have loved people to have done just that - instead I got a few dozen "how-was-your-day" and "watch-my-cock-cam" :cool:
So everyone is in agreement, that much is clear. Back to troubleshooting my profile. I filled it in with sincere text once again, and after Fraser's comments I also decided - with difficulty - to take down my profile picture, as it was indeed something that attracted a lot of attention in the chatrooms.
Within an hour or two, this "new" profile that started with "Not actively looking"... had attracted two speculative messages. The one said, let's meet. And the other said, amongst other things...
"Read your profile with interest, but would love to see a photo." :lol: :bounce:
Must report that yes, lack of picture has given me good results in the chatrooms. Only problem now is to talk once again to the people that have checked me out already but have now lost their bearings due to lack of visual reference ;) Ideas for an uninviting profile pic welcome.

18 Oct 2011

Ideas for an uninviting profile pic...
No problem there Pebble m'dear :-| you can borrow mine....never gets much attention...not sure why?

18 Oct 2011

I dont believe in restricting profiles in anyway. Have what you want on it, why should you have to not have stuff on it to stop the twats? On another site that is slightly different to this one we have an ad/profile that gets a lot of attention and a lot of idiot reponses. I have put two words in the profile and these words must be the title of any message sent. Message without those words just get erased and if they message again with smae mistake then blocked. Works for me, often log in and erase 8 messages without even opening them.

19 Oct 2011

Quote by tweeky
I dont believe in restricting profiles in anyway. Have what you want on it, why should you have to not have stuff on it to stop the twats? On another site that is slightly different to this one we have an ad/profile that gets a lot of attention and a lot of idiot reponses. I have put two words in the profile and these words must be the title of any message sent. Message without those words just get erased and if they message again with smae mistake then blocked. Works for me, often log in and erase 8 messages without even opening them.

I think tweeky's right here, why should you restrict yourself because of people who aren't able to conduct themselves properly....the "key words" also seems like a good idea, it won't stop the rubbish coming in but at least you won't waste time on some of it.
To feel in any way inhibited in the use of this site is contrary to the sites purpose...I know that different people have their own agenda and for some it's just fantasy...there are lots of guys for whom it's an alternative to phone chatlines, and, by virtue of the sheer number of users, there are bound to be those whom we would never wish to meet.
If you find remarks or mail to be lewd, rude or in any way offensive, then either let the perpetrator know this or block them, or both.