single bi female...the holy grail?

4 May 2006

Quote by Calista

A lot of people will see this as bollox, but to have a bi fem join HLB and me is far more for their pleasure than mine. And besides, I'm getting on; and need to take more frequent tea breaks nowadays
Don't get me wrong - I'd get plenty from it too :twisted: but that really would be secondary to the whole experience.

That's pretty much how we see it too :thumbup: Ok there's pleasure/benefits for all involved but a third to join us (m or f) is more about the other person that us.
Cx
No pressure there, then .
H.x
surely its preferable to be about all 3 of us?
I think you've both misunderstood me! ... I play as a single and know how awkward it "can" be as the couple know each other etc, the point I was trying to make is that we try to make the experience more about the other person that what we get out of it. I did state pleasure/benefits for all involved!
Guess I'll just shut up.
Cx
Great minds lol

4 May 2006

Quote by Calista

A lot of people will see this as bollox, but to have a bi fem join HLB and me is far more for their pleasure than mine. And besides, I'm getting on; and need to take more frequent tea breaks nowadays
Don't get me wrong - I'd get plenty from it too :twisted: but that really would be secondary to the whole experience.

That's pretty much how we see it too :thumbup: Ok there's pleasure/benefits for all involved but a third to join us (m or f) is more about the other person that us.
Cx
No pressure there, then .
H.x
surely its preferable to be about all 3 of us?
I think you've both misunderstood me! ... I play as a single and know how awkward it "can" be as the couple know each other etc, the point I was trying to make is that we try to make the experience more about the other person that what we get out of it. I did state pleasure/benefits for all involved!
Guess I'll just shut up.
Cx
i agree with what you are saying.. but as a couple we find that as well..you try to make the other person enjoy it so she/he dosent feel left out and then you dont consider your own feelings/urges..we know each other and what we like to you concentrate more on the third party..

4 May 2006

Quote by Morbius

That's pretty much how we see it too :thumbup: Ok there's pleasure/benefits for all involved but a third to join us (m or f) is more about the other person that us.
Cx

No pressure there, then .
H.x
surely its preferable to be about all 3 of us?
LOL
yeah it is, i think that came over wrong Calista lol
I think what she ment is that if/when we have a fem join us we're looking to ensure that she is comfy and happy more so than prehaps ourselves. Afterall we know each other (I think :s) whereas No.3 is new so we'd want to make sure she had a good time.
thats more like it, and what im looking for! lol not that it would all be about me or all about the couple.... but that we would share the plesure :lickface:
dont you dare shut up calista, i just misunderstod! kiss

4 May 2006

Hello over here
wave

4 May 2006

Quote by sexkittenhfx

]well same here really pete, thats why im trying to get more involved in socials and munches, to make some friends and take it from there. distance is an issue for me too, i dont travel as i dont drive and feel more comfortable on my own territory...on the other hand i wouldnt want anyone ot travel for over half an hour to meet me as i would be worried it wouldnt be worth it!

:shock: :shock: Errrrm not worth it? :shock:
Hun we've just checked you out and are thinking of movuing to halifax wink

ops: :oops: :oops:
well, you dont have to move house but if you ever find yourself this way then give me a call smile

caron & pete are now googeling holiday destinations in and around Halifax :wink: :oops:

4 May 2006

Quote by Sarah
Hello over here

'ello down there :wave:

4 May 2006

Quote by Morbius
Hello over here

'ello down there :wave:
Flirt lol

4 May 2006

Quote by Sarah
Hello over here

'ello down there :wave:
Flirt lol

WHO????
Moi????
Nahhhhhh

4 May 2006

Quote by Morbius
Hello over here

'ello down there :wave:
Flirt lol

WHO????
Moi????
Nahhhhhh
:choke: :choke:
:giggle:

4 May 2006

Quote by Calista
Hello over here

'ello down there :wave:
Flirt lol

WHO????
Moi????
Nahhhhhh
:choke: :choke:
:giggle:
OI !!!!!!!!!!
Dont YOU start, i resemble that comment!

4 May 2006

Quote by DeviousLiasons

so i wondered....what exactly do you want in a single bi female?

1. Big tits
2. Lack of morals
3. Big tits
4. Easy
5. Big tits
6. Insatiable
7. Big tits
8. Attractive
9. Big Tits
10 . Adeventurous
11. Big tits.........
Shall we go on?
Sorry I am busy this week wink

4 May 2006

Quote by PoloLady

so i wondered....what exactly do you want in a single bi female?

1. Big tits
2. Lack of morals
3. Big tits
4. Easy
5. Big tits
6. Insatiable
7. Big tits
8. Attractive
9. Big Tits
10 . Adeventurous
11. Big tits.........
Shall we go on?
Sorry I am busy this week wink

:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:

4 May 2006

What about next week?? lol

4 May 2006

Quote by sexkittenhfx
i was just sitting here, contemplating my illusive and superior status ....(yeh right......)
as a single girl on the forums im often reading posts by regular couples on the forum regarding the "need" for a single bi female...and yet ive never once been contacted by anyone who i see on this forum....well..... maybe two couples that i can remember (one of which im not sure i replied to and lost their mail......) i also recently posted in the "lets meet up" section to no avail.
"well why dont you make the first move" i hear you cry....a simple answer....most of the regular couples on here have no profile or advert so ive no idea who to approach and who not to most of the time! but that debate is in another thread i think......lol
so i wondered....what exactly do you want in a single bi female?
is it about being aestethically pleasing? about distance? about their posting style? about perceived genuineness? about experience? about meeting at a social or munch beforehand? all or a mixture of the above? id assume the latter. what makes you choose to reply to a particular ad?
im not fishing for replys here, odds on im going to meet most of you at up and coming munches and socials, if i havent already and this is by no means a "look at me" post so try not to make the thread too personal to me (thats what pm boxes are for....)
its just a discussion point.....afterall....were forever discussing what single men need to do to improve their chances....so why not turn it around?

It matters not what others want... it is 'knowing' what you want that is important.
Once you have that clear in your head, you have two choices:
1 - sit back and wait for it to come along (I hope you have a comfy chair)
2 - go and get it (but accept there will be ups and downs along the way - remembering that the downs are just there to build the intensity of the ups)
Swinging, no matter who you are or what gender you are, is what you make it. Just like life itself!

4 May 2006

very true, i know what i want and im not worried about going out and getting it......this was a discussion point rather than a personal request for feedback and ive found it interesting on both counts! smile

4 May 2006

Quote by sexkittenhfx
yes we did see u in lmu
but being 171 miles away .................................
could u move to london????

You wont like it there hun, honest, it's dirty and it smells a bit (london that is)
Come move to the country, Wiltshire's quite nice this time of year innocent

so distance is important to you both i see! lol
unfortunately we cant run around the country at the drop of a hat!!!!!!!!!
like to save up all our babysitting favours 4 a week away without the kids in the summer!! sad

4 May 2006

Quote by Morbius
I want a woman around 5 1/2 feet, brunette, big boobs and an arse to die for .....
..... oh hold on :confused: .....
...I have that one, so yeah not really fussed on the 3rd of a 3some :twisted: :grin: :scared:

I know this is a tongue in cheek hun, but it really does sum up the majority of my experience so far.

Quote by H-x
I get loads of pm's, most of which are directed at any sbf with no regard to who I am, from people who would probably not give me a second glance walking down the street.
H.x

It's true that is, very true.
I am already tired of being the token sbf, and of being approached by couples not because they're interested in Darkfire, but because they see the single bi fem status. Like I sayMorb, I know your comment was tongue in cheek but it really does feel like that sometimes - not fussed on the 3rd, as long as we find one kinda thing.
I've had it from couples who are looking for 'a' single bi fem to play with because of what she can do for them - thier sex life, their fantasies etc, and from single guys who latch on to us because they cant make it on their own.
SBF's in my oppinion are not the holy grail, we're either pieces of meat that, in general, everyone wants a piece of... or a status enhancement. confused

4 May 2006

I am already tired of being the token sbf, and of being approached by couples not because they're interested in Darkfire, but because they see the single bi fem status. Like I sayMorb, I know your comment was tongue in cheek but it really does feel like that sometimes - not fussed on the 3rd, as long as we find one kinda thing.
I've had it from couples who are looking for 'a' single bi fem to play with because of what she can do for them - thier sex life, their fantasies etc, and from single guys who latch on to us because they cant make it on their own.
SBF's in my oppinion are not the holy grail, we're either pieces of meat that, in general, everyone wants a piece of... or a status enhancement. confused

good point well made darkfire.......
at times i think people on here forget that SBF's are here for their own needs and wants not just to fulfill the fantasy of others.
by no means am i saying that is everyones attitude to SBF's but especially if you look at the couples seeking women adds all there is there is people wanting to satisfy there own need with seeningly no thought towards what the 3rd person may want or desire!

4 May 2006

Quote by Darkfire

I want a woman around 5 1/2 feet, brunette, big boobs and an arse to die for .....
..... oh hold on :confused: .....
...I have that one, so yeah not really fussed on the 3rd of a 3some :twisted: :grin: :scared:

I know this is a tongue in cheek hun, but it really does sum up the majority of my experience so far.

Quote by H-x
I get loads of pm's, most of which are directed at any sbf with no regard to who I am, from people who would probably not give me a second glance walking down the street.
H.x

It's true that is, very true.
I am already tired of being the token sbf, and of being approached by couples not because they're interested in Darkfire, but because they see the single bi fem status. Like I sayMorb, I know your comment was tongue in cheek but it really does feel like that sometimes - not fussed on the 3rd, as long as we find one kinda thing.
I've had it from couples who are looking for 'a' single bi fem to play with because of what she can do for them - thier sex life, their fantasies etc, and from single guys who latch on to us because they cant make it on their own.
SBF's in my oppinion are not the holy grail, we're either pieces of meat that, in general, everyone wants a piece of... or a status enhancement. confused

As I tried to explain earlier, we view single females as neither of those things .. to us it's all about the fem, for a successful meet (IMHO) we want to know what the fem wants out of it, if at that point our desires match then and only then would we proceed and it has to be all about her ... purely from the point of view that if she is uncomfortable it isn't likely to be a happy, sexual, successful meet.
The actual physical description of a bi-fem is immaterial ... we're all shapes and sizes and a successful meet can never be prescriptive! That is more the point of Morb's comments. It doesn't matter what the person looks like ... you can't ask a couple to describe the ideal single bi-fem in those terms because it's not as simple as that.
I take your point DF though.
Cx

4 May 2006

Quote by poshkate
if you look at the couples seeking women adds all there is there is people wanting to satisfy there own need with seeningly no thought towards what the 3rd person may want or desire!

:shock: :shock:
hmm, runs off for a quick review of ad. bolt

:bolt: nope, seems ok :rascal:
wave

4 May 2006

Quote by Pete_sw
if you look at the couples seeking women adds all there is there is people wanting to satisfy there own need with seeningly no thought towards what the 3rd person may want or desire!

:shock: :shock:
hmm, runs off for a quick review of ad. bolt

:bolt: nope, seems ok :rascal:
wave

i've checked it too.....and u don't fall into that league! lol

4 May 2006

Quote by poshkate
if you look at the couples seeking women adds all there is there is people wanting to satisfy there own need with seeningly no thought towards what the 3rd person may want or desire!

:shock: :shock:
hmm, runs off for a quick review of ad. bolt

:bolt: nope, seems ok :rascal:
wave

i've checked it too.....and u don't fall into that league! lol

phew

:lol:

5 May 2006

when i was a single bi fem i got waaaay more people approach me than i do now as a cpl.
however, the people who approached me then were by and large approaching me because any single bi fem would do.
now i feel that people approach me(us) because they actually havig a liking for us personally.
back in the old days..... i did used to feel potentially used sometimes by the pms and stuff i recieved, ie - "we are looking for a single bi fem to give her some pleasure and then shag him" , or " hi, you are just what we are looking for, she wants to ecpierence a woman going down on her".
i never actually felt that people wanted to meet me for a MUTUALLY enjoyable time.
now, i feel as though as half of one of the cpouples, i am an equal partner.
hope that makes sense.
xx

5 May 2006

Quote by DeviousLiasons

so i wondered....what exactly do you want in a single bi female?

1. Big tits
2. Lack of morals
3. Big tits
4. Easy
5. Big tits
6. Insatiable
7. Big tits
8. Attractive
9. Big Tits
10 . Adeventurous
11. Big tits.........
Shall we go on?
I don't think I could spend time with anyone with no morals. None standard morals YES.

5 May 2006

I know speaking from a personal point of view, we've never been a couple who have been looking for a single bi female just to satisfy our own wants and needs, in fact, that applies as much to any couple we've met.
I'd never email someone - anyone - just because they were "what we needed". Having been swinging for over 6 years now, and a few experiences under our belts so to speak, we know only too well that a meet has to consist of ALL parties getting on, and it would be as much about the sbf liking us and what we have to offer, as the other way around. I would be mortified if our invited guest/s so much as considered that we'd be so selfish to put our own needs before theirs. I guess it's my nature, and I've always been a person who seeks to satisfy others before 'taking my turn'. That of course, and the enormous turn-on it is to see another person (other than my partner) enjoy what I'm doing to them!!! biggrin

I'm pleased this subject has come to light, and I hold my hands up and must admit it's given me a new insight into something I assumed I knew about. Hopefully to our gain!

5 May 2006

Quote by Calista
As I tried to explain earlier, we view single females as neither of those things .. to us it's all about the fem, for a successful meet (IMHO) we want to know what the fem wants out of it, if at that point our desires match then and only then would we proceed and it has to be all about her ... purely from the point of view that if she is uncomfortable it isn't likely to be a happy, sexual, successful meet.
The actual physical description of a bi-fem is immaterial ... we're all shapes and sizes and a successful meet can never be prescriptive! That is more the point of Morb's comments. It doesn't matter what the person looks like ... you can't ask a couple to describe the ideal single bi-fem in those terms because it's not as simple as that.
I take your point DF though.
Cx

I completely understand what you're saying, it is difficult to get accross in an ad the subtleties of this. But many of the couples' ads do imply that they don't really care what you look like or what kind of person you are, so long as you turn up and they can check 'find sbf' of their list of things to do that month. Personally I have quite a specific type of guy that I find attractive, I'm not going to appologies for it, it's a fact - simple as that, but as far as women go, I find it's far more down to personality and charisma than physical (although that does play a part, obviously). How do you put this in an ad? Don't know, but the old line 'age and looks unimportant' isn't the way to do it, I'd like to think that who ever it was found me attractive, if it's unimportant to them and they're just looking for a lump of mobile meat to play with, then I'm not going to be interested.
I appologies if this is garbled, I've only had one coffee so far this morning and I think I may need another!
H.x

5 May 2006

Quote by H-x

As I tried to explain earlier, we view single females as neither of those things .. to us it's all about the fem, for a successful meet (IMHO) we want to know what the fem wants out of it, if at that point our desires match then and only then would we proceed and it has to be all about her ... purely from the point of view that if she is uncomfortable it isn't likely to be a happy, sexual, successful meet.
The actual physical description of a bi-fem is immaterial ... we're all shapes and sizes and a successful meet can never be prescriptive! That is more the point of Morb's comments. It doesn't matter what the person looks like ... you can't ask a couple to describe the ideal single bi-fem in those terms because it's not as simple as that.
I take your point DF though.
Cx

I completely understand what you're saying, it is difficult to get accross in an ad the subtleties of this. But many of the couples' ads do imply that they don't really care what you look like or what kind of person you are, so long as you turn up and they can check 'find sbf' of their list of things to do that month. Personally I have quite a specific type of guy that I find attractive, I'm not going to appologies for it, it's a fact - simple as that, but as far as women go, I find it's far more down to personality and charisma than physical (although that does play a part, obviously). How do you put this in an ad? Don't know, but the old line 'age and looks unimportant' isn't the way to do it, I'd like to think that who ever it was found me attractive, if it's unimportant to them and they're just looking for a lump of mobile meat to play with, then I'm not going to be interested.
I appologies if this is garbled, I've only had one coffee so far this morning and I think I may need another!
H.x
garbled? no its bloody not!
very well written and an excellent point well made!
xxx

13 May 2006

Quote by sexkittenhfx

dambuster...i afraid im going ot have to read your post a couple more times before it sinks in......

Yeah - me too.
The whole thing about some people "seeing the sbf, and not seeing Jane" is something I wasn't aware of and it's it's been disturbing me a little since it was brought up in conversation last week.
it sort of reminds me of having a token gay, or token woman in the workplace.
it does happen tho, its the rason i took along time out from the scene and am only tentatively dipping my toe again, contrary to what was said earlier about a 3 some being more about the extra person......often its alllllllll about the couple and the feelings/wants of little old me gets lost in the commotion!
I have to agree i have had couple of plays with couples were the social meets where great & the little lady was up for girl fun but then when we came to play it was clear it was more about them & did she have any interest in the bi side like feck so i was got there under force pretences mad

14 May 2006

find it really hard to compose a mail to a bi fem......it`s way easier to meet with them in a club and let what happens happen.......we`ve met a few "bi fem" couples that r not really bi...... 2 minute play then push their hubbys forward .............think they just use the bi bit as bait............... smile

me i really enjoy the girl girl bit & mikes happy to watch and let us get on with it.......and i give as good as i recieve....... biggrin

14 May 2006

Quote by twos_company
find it really hard to compose a mail to a bi fem......it`s way easier to meet with them in a club and let what happens happen.......we`ve met a few "bi fem" couples that r not really bi...... 2 minute play then push their hubbys forward .............think they just use the bi bit as bait............... me i really enjoy the girl girl bit & mikes happy to watch and let us get on with it.......and i give as good as i recieve.......

ahh but when ive been to a club as a single female no ones approached me, probably an ettiquette thing, and as im a bit shy at first.............its a catch 22!
as for women getting pushed to play by their husbands i have experienced that and wouldnt want to go back there so i always try the best i can to ensure shes as bi as me from chatting and flirting. well i try to flirt.......lol