Hi everyone
Is it me, or are people on this great site becoming more arrogant? I have taken the time to read members profiles, mainly regarding the attitude shown to Single Males. What I have been reading is appalling in my view. I am well aware, that some people don't want a single man to take part in their swinging activities, and I respect their wishes. Single Males who are on this site are not all sad desperate losers, who can't get the attention of the Ladies. I personally play on my own, but over the years, my wife an I played as a couple, until she had a hysterectomy, and yes we did invite Single Males and Females. I'm sure there are many Females in here, who for their own reasons play on their own. I have not seen one (with the exception of Gay Men) profile, from a Mixed Couple or Single Male saying "No Single Females, if we want you, we will find you" written in Capital letters. This is a Swinging Site, and as far as I can tell open to all, not just couples and Females. As for the females who put on their profile, that being a Female, who suggest they can get any Man on Swinging Heaven in their Bed, need to have a good long look in the mirror, and check what the bathroom scales are reading. I really never realised how many conceited shallow people are out there.
I have made some very good friends on Swinging Heaven, over the years I have been a member, and hope to make many more in the future. This site is supposed to be fun (well it was when it started). I hope it remains fun, and people lighten up and respect all of the community on this great site.
George
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Single Male Bashing
Sex God
I too have noticed a vast number of profiles that are quite aggressive in the way they state they don't wish to meet single males...
I simply use it as an indicator of the kind of people I wouldn't want to meet anyway if they can be that aggressive towards someone simply because of their gender :-)
Just click the little red x in the corner of the screen and move on...
There are those out there that do like to meet single guys as well :thumbup:
P.S.
Can you let me know the ones that do like to meet guys and I'll make a note of them :lol2:
I simply use it as an indicator of the kind of people I wouldn't want to meet anyway if they can be that aggressive towards someone simply because of their gender :-)
Just click the little red x in the corner of the screen and move on...
There are those out there that do like to meet single guys as well :thumbup:
P.S.
Can you let me know the ones that do like to meet guys and I'll make a note of them :lol2:
The only reason that some people are "aggressive" on their profiles about single guys is that if one politely says " No single guys please" it is totally ignored and you get masses of whispers, meet and friend requests.
There are a small, but not insignificant, number of single guys that are "aggressive" in their hunt on this site. To many, this behaviour has meant that all single guys have been tarnished with the same brush. Unfair I know.
We, as a couple, are not looking for single guys, but don't say so on our profile as we enjoy chatting with them and, on rare, occassions have met up with them. If we are not interested we ignore them. Simple as that.
So , yes, you single guys do get a lot of bad press, but it has been brought on by a small number of you behaving like prehistoric man.
We need single guys on this site. Many enjoy meets with an extra guy. Let's all try to be more tolerant.
There are a small, but not insignificant, number of single guys that are "aggressive" in their hunt on this site. To many, this behaviour has meant that all single guys have been tarnished with the same brush. Unfair I know.
We, as a couple, are not looking for single guys, but don't say so on our profile as we enjoy chatting with them and, on rare, occassions have met up with them. If we are not interested we ignore them. Simple as that.
So , yes, you single guys do get a lot of bad press, but it has been brought on by a small number of you behaving like prehistoric man.
We need single guys on this site. Many enjoy meets with an extra guy. Let's all try to be more tolerant.
Master of Sex
Quote by Talltreescouple
The only reason that some people are "aggressive" on their profiles about single guys is that if one politely says " No single guys please" it is totally ignored and you get masses of whispers, meet and friend requests.
There are a small, but not insignificant, number of single guys that are "aggressive" in their hunt on this site. To many, this behaviour has meant that all single guys have been tarnished with the same brush. Unfair I know.
We, as a couple, are not looking for single guys, but don't say so on our profile as we enjoy chatting with them and, on rare, occassions have met up with them. If we are not interested we ignore them. Simple as that.
So , yes, you single guys do get a lot of bad press, but it has been brought on by a small number of you behaving like prehistoric man.
We need single guys on this site. Many enjoy meets with an extra guy. Let's all try to be more tolerant.
I am slightly baffled by members/couples who get SO offended by unwanted winks/messages/whispers that they need to be so aggressive..It's just a website! it's not like these people are knocking on your front door! Click delete. Done. No need to get stressed about! Or am I just too easygoing?
I get tons of messages from men who haven't obviously read my profile or what I'm looking for..but oh well. Like I said, 1 Click 1 Delete all of 2 Seconds!
Single Men are Hot! gimme more!!!!
Sex God
After eight years of pointless messages and winks from people that clearly haven't read or met our profile it does tend to get on your nerves!
If we started chatting with someone we had no intention of meeting with they would label us timewasters. But surely unnwanted attention towards someone who clearly doesn't want to meet with you is also timewasting? Or stalking ?
If we started chatting with someone we had no intention of meeting with they would label us timewasters. But surely unnwanted attention towards someone who clearly doesn't want to meet with you is also timewasting? Or stalking ?
Sex God
Quote by Talltreescouple
Let's all try to be more tolerant.
I'm very tolerant :-)
Even if a profile doesn't say they DON'T meet single guys if they don't have that option ticked on their looking for or an active ad for a single guy then I don't initiate contact....
But....
I have seen a fair few profiles that say "we're not interested in single guys" yet they have the single guy option ticked in their looking for section
Master of Sex
Quote by Trevaunance
After eight years of pointless messages and winks from people that clearly haven't read or met our profile it does tend to get on your nerves!
If we started chatting with someone we had no intention of meeting with they would label us timewasters. But surely unnwanted attention towards someone who clearly doesn't want to meet with you is also timewasting? Or stalking ?
8 years ai...wow..if you had told me 8 years ago that I would end up on a site like this I would have told you "Begone wench! for I am but an innocent!" then offered you cake! :evil2:
Quote by ruupfirit
Hi everyone
Is it me, or are people on this great site becoming more arrogant? I have taken the time to read members profiles, mainly regarding the attitude shown to Single Males. What I have been reading is appalling in my view. I am well aware, that some people don't want a single man to take part in their swinging activities, and I respect their wishes. Single Males who are on this site are not all sad desperate losers, who can't get the attention of the Ladies. I personally play on my own, but over the years, my wife an I played as a couple, until she had a hysterectomy, and yes we did invite Single Males and Females. I'm sure there are many Females in here, who for their own reasons play on their own. I have not seen one (with the exception of Gay Men) profile, from a Mixed Couple or Single Male saying "No Single Females, if we want you, we will find you" written in Capital letters. This is a Swinging Site, and as far as I can tell open to all, not just couples and Females. As for the females who put on their profile, that being a Female, who suggest they can get any Man on Swinging Heaven in their Bed, need to have a good long look in the mirror, and check what the bathroom scales are reading. I really never realised how many conceited shallow people are out there.
I have made some very good friends on Swinging Heaven, over the years I have been a member, and hope to make many more in the future. This site is supposed to be fun (well it was when it started). I hope it remains fun, and people lighten up and respect all of the community on this great site.
George
I was nodding away with you until I reached the bit in bold. At that point, you seemed to morph into those you despise.
Dave_Notts
Sex God
I think its crap to be so rude about putting No single males in such a way as a lot of people do on there profiles. Its easy to just put - we are not looking for single guys so please don't inquire if you are one. - Then if they do inquire just delete and ignore it. How hard can that be.
Sex God
Ok, so the same can't be said for chat, you can block people from whispering you but it's not specific enough to cut out 'single males' but instead cuts out all whispers from everyone or from an authorised list...
I thought u just blocked whoevers bothering u.. n they never did it again!!
I thought u just blocked whoevers bothering u.. n they never did it again!!
Hi Everyone
Thanks for the contributions made on this subject. I have taken on board the comments and suggestions, so eloquently put forward. Maybe some of the Single Males have failed to read, the fine article written by Heather on the Advice Page.
In closing, I think it would be prudent to up date one's profile to suit one's mood. If someones is looking for a particular activity, it would make sense to put it on your profile. This would encourage people to take the time to actually read the profiles, which by all accounts does not happen very often.
Once again, thanks for the contributions to this theme.
George
Thanks for the contributions made on this subject. I have taken on board the comments and suggestions, so eloquently put forward. Maybe some of the Single Males have failed to read, the fine article written by Heather on the Advice Page.
In closing, I think it would be prudent to up date one's profile to suit one's mood. If someones is looking for a particular activity, it would make sense to put it on your profile. This would encourage people to take the time to actually read the profiles, which by all accounts does not happen very often.
Once again, thanks for the contributions to this theme.
George
We started out with nothing about single males on our profile - as someone already said on the thread, we figured not ticking the single male box and saying in our text what we ARE looking for would be enough. But we had countless single males asking to meet in chat and mail. I'd like to think it's not aggressive, some may think differently, but we added a bit about not looking for single males on the end. We still get them contacting us - but now we feel wholly justified in just pressing the reply no button
Sex God
I quite like single males :rascal:
Sex God
I always chuckle at the male profiles which have Gay Female Couple ticked. 
But I don't let it get to me...
But I don't let it get to me...
Sex God
Almost as silly as the men looking for a gay female couple that you can see ticked quite readily
Anyway, nice to see that after insulting women on this site the OP has realised some of the reasons why single men are not always welcome.
Anyway, nice to see that after insulting women on this site the OP has realised some of the reasons why single men are not always welcome.
Quote by noladreams
I always chuckle at the male profiles which have Gay Female Couple ticked.
But I don't let it get to me...
Maybe I exaggerated a little. :P It's just a little irritating doing a search then reading the profile and seeing that. You'd get fewer messages with those boxes un-ticked, circumventing a lot of the problem. Sometimes it makes me feel guilty of being one of those hounders who send countless winks and give single men the bad rep, despite not being at all.
Sex God
I'm not a fan of the wink. A message will get a reply.
I agree with many things said in this thread.
Putting "no single males" in your profile is not a problem, the more profiles tell me about thier criteria for meeting the less of my time is wasted contacting those that are not interested in me.
Anything written aggressively in profiles makes me avoid those people, we are a couple but if there is bad language about the couple we are contacting or something aggressive in capital letters about not wanting to meet single males it still puts me off meeting them, we want to meet fun people not aggressive people.
I understand why people think they need to emphasize thier criteria, we have to, but it is not just the guys that can be ignorant and we are plagued everyday by people who have not read our profile, couples daily send us friends requests whilst our profile is actually now pleading with them not to. We only add people to our friends list that we have met in person, this is not facebook we don't "collect friends" or "pokes" to make ourselves look popular, if we want to keep an eye on someone we are interested in we add them to our "favourites".
I also understand why people get angry about being contacted by people who have not read thier profiles or worse those that have read thier criteria and ignored it. They are at best rude and certainly timewasters, albeit a few minutes of peoples time to check the message or profile of those making the contact, some people on here get 100s of such contacts a day and those few minutes add up.
I do not use the chatrooms though my partner does and she gets pestered by people who have not read our profile, that takes a lot of her time because the approach seems to be "hi" then a pause before the "how are you" another pause and "what you bin up to today", this goes on for ages with various "met many people from here", "had any fun", eventually the question about meeting will come up, to which she will reply "I don't meet single males" which is followed by the site message "..... has left the conversation", so much for goodbyes, now your probably thinking she could say that at the start, don't do it, thats when they get abusive saying things like "I never asked you to meet I just wanted a chat, you must think your something special" or words to that effect, not always so politely. All they had to do was read our profile before whispering, but that goes for all singles and couples.
As for the moan about couples not wanting single males but never saying that to single females, your wrong, some do, of course a bisexual females is someone both members of a couple can play with so they are going to be more popular than a single male, I get no pleasure from watching my partner with another guy, I do enjoy playing with other females, so we meet couples and couple with bifemales where we both have fun, we don't meet people where I get to sit in the lounge and watch TV, so no we don't meet single males at home.
It is not a few that let the single males down on the site as someone suggested it is the majority, there are some really nice guys on here but they are few and far between sadly.
Oh and the never bit about where I said you were wrong, here is what our profile says about singles
We occasionally play with single guys but only at the clubs we visit, contacting us on here will only show us you have no respect for our wishes and eliminate any chance of us ever playing with you and you will just be added to our blocklist.
Single females, we both play with them at the clubs but to be honest there are more timewasting single females than there are single males and couples so we don't arrange meets with you online unless you are prepared to accept a phone call from Sasha within an hour of mailing us. Sorry to the genuine single females but it's just not worth the time trying to sift through to find you.
But that's us we can't speak for anyone else
Putting "no single males" in your profile is not a problem, the more profiles tell me about thier criteria for meeting the less of my time is wasted contacting those that are not interested in me.
Anything written aggressively in profiles makes me avoid those people, we are a couple but if there is bad language about the couple we are contacting or something aggressive in capital letters about not wanting to meet single males it still puts me off meeting them, we want to meet fun people not aggressive people.
I understand why people think they need to emphasize thier criteria, we have to, but it is not just the guys that can be ignorant and we are plagued everyday by people who have not read our profile, couples daily send us friends requests whilst our profile is actually now pleading with them not to. We only add people to our friends list that we have met in person, this is not facebook we don't "collect friends" or "pokes" to make ourselves look popular, if we want to keep an eye on someone we are interested in we add them to our "favourites".
I also understand why people get angry about being contacted by people who have not read thier profiles or worse those that have read thier criteria and ignored it. They are at best rude and certainly timewasters, albeit a few minutes of peoples time to check the message or profile of those making the contact, some people on here get 100s of such contacts a day and those few minutes add up.
I do not use the chatrooms though my partner does and she gets pestered by people who have not read our profile, that takes a lot of her time because the approach seems to be "hi" then a pause before the "how are you" another pause and "what you bin up to today", this goes on for ages with various "met many people from here", "had any fun", eventually the question about meeting will come up, to which she will reply "I don't meet single males" which is followed by the site message "..... has left the conversation", so much for goodbyes, now your probably thinking she could say that at the start, don't do it, thats when they get abusive saying things like "I never asked you to meet I just wanted a chat, you must think your something special" or words to that effect, not always so politely. All they had to do was read our profile before whispering, but that goes for all singles and couples.
As for the moan about couples not wanting single males but never saying that to single females, your wrong, some do, of course a bisexual females is someone both members of a couple can play with so they are going to be more popular than a single male, I get no pleasure from watching my partner with another guy, I do enjoy playing with other females, so we meet couples and couple with bifemales where we both have fun, we don't meet people where I get to sit in the lounge and watch TV, so no we don't meet single males at home.
It is not a few that let the single males down on the site as someone suggested it is the majority, there are some really nice guys on here but they are few and far between sadly.
Oh and the never bit about where I said you were wrong, here is what our profile says about singles
We occasionally play with single guys but only at the clubs we visit, contacting us on here will only show us you have no respect for our wishes and eliminate any chance of us ever playing with you and you will just be added to our blocklist.
Single females, we both play with them at the clubs but to be honest there are more timewasting single females than there are single males and couples so we don't arrange meets with you online unless you are prepared to accept a phone call from Sasha within an hour of mailing us. Sorry to the genuine single females but it's just not worth the time trying to sift through to find you.
But that's us we can't speak for anyone else
Sex God
Quote by noladreams
I always chuckle at the male profiles which have Gay Female Couple ticked.
But I don't let it get to me...
Yeah but good grief they might want one to watch Nola
hwoar: you just never know! (lives in hope) Sex God
Quote by Lost
I always chuckle at the male profiles which have Gay Female Couple ticked.
But I don't let it get to me...
Yeah but good grief they might want one to watch Nola
hwoar: you just never know! (lives in hope) Oh lovely Lostie, you're right.... we've gotta have hope! :wink:
Quote by Steve
Let's all try to be more tolerant.
I have seen a fair few profiles that say "we're not interested in single guys" yet they have the single guy option ticked in their looking for section
So very true quite often the profile info, advert and other information totally contradict each other, what is a poor,tolerant,normal single male to do!!!
Quote by Onthebeach_1
Let's all try to be more tolerant.
I have seen a fair few profiles that say "we're not interested in single guys" yet they have the single guy option ticked in their looking for section
So very true quite often the profile info, advert and other information totally contradict each other, what is a poor,tolerant,normal single male to do!!!
Then guys use a sensible approach, show them that it is not you that has got it wrong it is them.
Why not start your first mail with something like :
"Hi, a little confused about contacting you because your profile says "not looking for single males" yet your "looking for" section states that you are actively seeking single males, I am guessing one of them is outdated so thought I would get in touch and find out which.
I am ...................... etc etc"
Now if they moan it is about them not about you being a timewaster and in the wrong, personally I would take the written profile text as being the correct one as people often make a mistake with the "fixed entry boxes" or forget to update them when things change.
Casanova
Quote by ruupfirit
I have not seen one (with the exception of Gay Men) profile, from a Mixed Couple or Single Male saying "No Single Females, if we want you, we will find you"
FYI... A rant to match yours.
You haven't noticed the "No Single Females" lines because they don't apply to you. There are a few profiles of straight women (single or in couples) whose profiles says as much. HOWEVER - women are such a smaller part of the user base here, and of the few that are there almost none is as rapacious as the men can get: if anything, women here are too busy enjoying the attentions of their admirers, and fending off dozens of unappealing suitors.
I've yet to come across a woman on here that has been predatory, has actively disregarded my wishes and requirements, has pressed me for play, has cyber-stalked me, or even insulted me in the hope of getting my attention. I get this regularly from guys - testosterone and desperation makes a combustive mix. I don't have any screaming deterrent against single males on my profile because I actually like quite a few of them AND because a lot of the men that act like this are part of a couple - but if/when I give up SH it'll be because I've had enough of this BS.
As for your scales&mirror comment, apart from insulting it is highly irrelevant. Pussy (or any hole that is available for use, for that matter) is a well sought-after commodity on here. A willing individual could easily get enough offers to tie them over full-time, irrespective of weight, looks or personality. Plain-looking or even unattractive women are habitually venerated on here, then told off for being vain and conceited. I consider myself to fall in the former category, I am an average-looking woman and very humble in my conduct, I don't provoke, flaunt myself or act like a diva... yet I do get attacked (by strangers!) for being aloof, hard to get, or worse. So... next time you see a "too sexy for my profile" type of profile, it pays to wonder how much of the attitude is from the woman's own personality and how much of it is a coping mechanism for the volume of attention she has to cope with, on here.
Sex God
Quote by ruupfirit
Is it me, or are people on this great site becoming more arrogant?
I've always been arrogant, so no, it's just you :2fingers:
