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Single men lazy??
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I think a lot of it is down to "Persona's"
The people who just chase a single male because of looks etc have judged them purely on that factor, and likely havent spoken to the person in any great depth to see if a fun time can be had by all.
Also, never underestimate how intimidating the scene can be for a newbie... When I joined (and I still consider myself in the "new" camp ;) ) it wasnt the actual meet that scared the crap, out of me - it was the unspoken rules... the do's / don'ts, etc. I was more afraid of offending a bunch of people then not performing on the night! Thankfully, my flame red hair, the ability to dance at socials without alcohol or shame and general wierd sense of humour has got me through
Finally, I would suggest that not everyone lives and breathes the scene, so perhaps it isnt at the forefront of their mind all the time.
The people who just chase a single male because of looks etc have judged them purely on that factor, and likely havent spoken to the person in any great depth to see if a fun time can be had by all.
Also, never underestimate how intimidating the scene can be for a newbie... When I joined (and I still consider myself in the "new" camp ;) ) it wasnt the actual meet that scared the crap, out of me - it was the unspoken rules... the do's / don'ts, etc. I was more afraid of offending a bunch of people then not performing on the night! Thankfully, my flame red hair, the ability to dance at socials without alcohol or shame and general wierd sense of humour has got me through
Finally, I would suggest that not everyone lives and breathes the scene, so perhaps it isnt at the forefront of their mind all the time.
Sex God
Quote by kiwiparadox
Also, never underestimate how intimidating the scene can be for a newbie...
I've been here almost 9 yrs and it's still intimidating
Forum Virgin
Quote by PamelaD
Okay so this week's, 'it's Sunday morning and I'm bored' topic is:;
Have single men become lazy?
Pam xx
Become lazy? Single guys have always been lazy.
Can not be bothered to write more.
Psmith
Warming the Bed
No - we're saving ourselves for the right people.....we aren't just playthings to be used and abused by you women! We have feelings and emotional needs that women on here just sully and ride roughshod over so they can have their multiple gushy organisms while we are left feeling empty and unfulfilled by the casual dispassionate nature of these one off liaisons..... I'm off to watch Catherine Cookson on Yesterday........
I'm off to watch Catherine Cookson on Yesterday........ Well with the risk of sounding a bit off I have the following feeling when interacting with people in various places in here ( direct mailing/chatrooms etc. ).
There are cases where couples/single females are only looking for the "VWE" type or athletic type of males. These ones, I have found, are mostly exactly the mass mailing and bothering types that do not make any effort at all because they know they are good looking and feel that everybody is going to be the luckiest person on the planet to have them in their panties.
On the other hand the other type of people, such as myself, that are simply average in looks and are comfortable with it tend to be the ones that are a bit more level headed and careful in their interaction, taking that extra bit of time and trying to find partners that actually match what we are looking for. The problem here is that more often than not we are not given even a response back even if to say "No Thank you" which makes us try a little less harder each time we try again and not have the honorable no thank you response.
Why bother being nice when the other party is not going to bother to even let you know it ain't happening.
Again i am sorry if i have offended anybody i am absolutely sure that there are drop dead gorgeous guys that are actually very nice and gentle and also i am sure that there are plenty of not so good looking males that are assholes and a nightmare to talk with but i still stand by my opinion that those are the exceptions.
Maybe I am just unlucky and my friends just happen to fit in those two categories by chance but i can never know can i.
Regards,
T
There are cases where couples/single females are only looking for the "VWE" type or athletic type of males. These ones, I have found, are mostly exactly the mass mailing and bothering types that do not make any effort at all because they know they are good looking and feel that everybody is going to be the luckiest person on the planet to have them in their panties.
On the other hand the other type of people, such as myself, that are simply average in looks and are comfortable with it tend to be the ones that are a bit more level headed and careful in their interaction, taking that extra bit of time and trying to find partners that actually match what we are looking for. The problem here is that more often than not we are not given even a response back even if to say "No Thank you" which makes us try a little less harder each time we try again and not have the honorable no thank you response.
Why bother being nice when the other party is not going to bother to even let you know it ain't happening.
Again i am sorry if i have offended anybody i am absolutely sure that there are drop dead gorgeous guys that are actually very nice and gentle and also i am sure that there are plenty of not so good looking males that are assholes and a nightmare to talk with but i still stand by my opinion that those are the exceptions.
Maybe I am just unlucky and my friends just happen to fit in those two categories by chance but i can never know can i.
Regards,
T
Ste-n-Kez, only if more people were like you. I cannot start to count the times i have not had any response whatsoever and i make it a point to make sure that i am writing to people open to single males.
On the other side i do not understand what would someone hope to achieve by getting abusive/argumentative with someone over the internet this is what blocking was invented for. Only if everybody had some common sense ...
On the other side i do not understand what would someone hope to achieve by getting abusive/argumentative with someone over the internet this is what blocking was invented for. Only if everybody had some common sense ...
Hey again you lot,
Home at last and saw this one and had to say ... Never lazy, always enjoy in chat here and would love to chat, have lunch and see how it goes from there. I don't whisper or pester but always compliment when around. I did ask you to lunch Pam but possibly you are also lazy sexy as its not happened lol
Not all are, despo, married or after easy sex. Always risky generalising like this too I reckon.
Off my soap box now ... Any fancy a chat or lunch then.
Enjoy the week everyone x
J
Home at last and saw this one and had to say ... Never lazy, always enjoy in chat here and would love to chat, have lunch and see how it goes from there. I don't whisper or pester but always compliment when around. I did ask you to lunch Pam but possibly you are also lazy sexy as its not happened lol
Not all are, despo, married or after easy sex. Always risky generalising like this too I reckon.
Off my soap box now ... Any fancy a chat or lunch then.
Enjoy the week everyone x
J
Sex God
Voy's speakin' fer himself ..... skinny's married, despo', and lookin' fer easy sex! Girls on top please, and can you come to me, cos I can't be arsed wi' travellin' just fer a shag, and besides y'll be able to do the washin up too while yer here.
What's with the "lazy single guys" yes the greater % are lazy, can't be bothered composing a decent mail, no pictures, no valid text information on thier profiles and basically no chance, but this just makes it that much easier for the single guys who aren't lazy, though they do piss of so many people with thier laziness they are easily discounted.
But what about lazy couples, we cannot receive mails from single guys (by our own choice) but we get loads from lazy couples who are guilty of that stated above, no pictures, pics of only one of them, no thought to thier messages etc, it is not just the guys that waste peoples time with thier idle ways.
Our last meet with a couple we had not met before was about 6 months ago even though we work from home and dont have kids so are available everyday, that is just the way it is on internet sites, we are lucky, we live 30 seconds from the UK's second highest rated swingers club (top rated night club themed venue) so we don't rely on meets off the net
But what about lazy couples, we cannot receive mails from single guys (by our own choice) but we get loads from lazy couples who are guilty of that stated above, no pictures, pics of only one of them, no thought to thier messages etc, it is not just the guys that waste peoples time with thier idle ways.
Our last meet with a couple we had not met before was about 6 months ago even though we work from home and dont have kids so are available everyday, that is just the way it is on internet sites, we are lucky, we live 30 seconds from the UK's second highest rated swingers club (top rated night club themed venue) so we don't rely on meets off the net
I'll admit my profile is source and the on pic is pants too x happy type in chat and if asked there or in mail always send over my pics and answer what is missing so Is that lazy or just different.
Best way to get to know anyone is to chat went to a Social up north last summer and wow it was scary indeed lol love to go to another and a club bu ith someone or more x
My round if anyone is going to one anytime soon ...
Say hi too .... I'll happily back my claims that not all are lazy wasters here
J x
Best way to get to know anyone is to chat
went to a Social up north last summer and wow it was scary indeed lol love to go to another and a club bu ith someone or more x My round if anyone is going to one anytime soon ...
Say hi too .... I'll happily back my claims that not all are lazy wasters here
J x
I have to agree that yes there might be a % of lazy males who are only after the quick shag for what ever reason, those types are easily spotted though surely? No profile pics, lack of information etc etc must be a give away.
The down side as has been said before it does make it hard for the genuine ones that are around and I don't blame people for being cautious. There are also the few like myself, I believe who are unsure of what is protocol. I have pics in my profile and a reasonable statement, I think? But without feed back you never know! I go into chatrooms and on cam but feel rude butting in, so watch what people are saying to get a gist of what people are like.
I don't pester people with messages or PMs as I don't want to appear rude, I can't make gatherings or clubs due to situation but I do make that perfectly clear as to not waste peoples time.
Does this make one lazy?
I feel that some including couples should maybe be a bit more welcoming even if there is no intention there as it would help some, including myself out no end. I have as of yet not met anyone or had any offers and not too sure whether it's because I'm the wrong type, profile is wrong or it's just too early. But i'm too dam polite to ask but surely it doesn't make one lazy???
The down side as has been said before it does make it hard for the genuine ones that are around and I don't blame people for being cautious. There are also the few like myself, I believe who are unsure of what is protocol. I have pics in my profile and a reasonable statement, I think? But without feed back you never know! I go into chatrooms and on cam but feel rude butting in, so watch what people are saying to get a gist of what people are like.
I don't pester people with messages or PMs as I don't want to appear rude, I can't make gatherings or clubs due to situation but I do make that perfectly clear as to not waste peoples time.
Does this make one lazy?
I feel that some including couples should maybe be a bit more welcoming even if there is no intention there as it would help some, including myself out no end. I have as of yet not met anyone or had any offers and not too sure whether it's because I'm the wrong type, profile is wrong or it's just too early. But i'm too dam polite to ask but surely it doesn't make one lazy???
Sex God
You could always open a thread asking for feedback just4, many people do.
Sex God
Your welcome
Quote by just4fun74
I have to agree that yes there might be a % of lazy males who are only after the quick shag for what ever reason, those types are easily spotted though surely? No profile pics, lack of information etc etc must be a give away.
The down side as has been said before it does make it hard for the genuine ones that are around and I don't blame people for being cautious. There are also the few like myself, I believe who are unsure of what is protocol. I have pics in my profile and a reasonable statement, I think? But without feed back you never know! I go into chatrooms and on cam but feel rude butting in, so watch what people are saying to get a gist of what people are like.
I believe it makes it easier for people to spot the dreamer/timewaster/quick shag don't understand the concept of the lifestyle person, when we do look for a single male we quickly move on from the lazy profiles to find those that have made an effort, perhaps we miss some good guys along the way but we certainly miss a lot of those we don't want to meet too.
I don't pester people with messages or PMs as I don't want to appear rude, I can't make gatherings or clubs due to situation but I do make that perfectly clear as to not waste peoples time.
Does this make one lazy?
We think it makes you "lack of effort" therefore not really that interested but enjoy the site category, we may be wrong but as said above more doing what you do would fall into the category of "waste of time"
I feel that some including couples should maybe be a bit more welcoming even if there is no intention there as it would help some, including myself out no end. I have as of yet not met anyone or had any offers and not too sure whether it's because I'm the wrong type, profile is wrong or it's just too early. But i'm too dam polite to ask but surely it doesn't make one lazy???
Being friendly and welcoming is a great concept but it brings difficulties with it, when in the chatroom we speak to anyone and everyone but when we got mails from guys who were in the "lazy" section being welcoming just led them on, many would get abusive when they finally got round to asking for a meet only to be declined, telling them you would not meet but happy to chat got the same result .... "I only wanted to chat I didn't ask for a meet your a dog anyway", if you do chat you do eventually get to the stage of asking for a meet, the you say no and they disapear, why should we chat if they won't chat to us unless there is a meet in the pipeline ?
It is also the way of chat, "hi how are you", great thanks "what have you been up to" went to atlantis swingers club last night, "did you have any fun", we had a good time thanks "can I see your private pictures" YAWNS
Why do men have to whisper just to say hello ? or how are you ?
Sex God
Quote by MidsCouple24
when in the chatroom we speak to anyone and everyone
Really Jed? I thought you never used the chatrooms
Quote by Trevaunance
when in the chatroom we speak to anyone and everyone
Really Jed? I thought you never used the chatrooms
Yep as it says under this message, Sasha uses the chatrooms more than me but it says "normally" meaning occasionally I drift into there too or join her in there when I do, I chat to everyone who cares to chat and to some who don't want to ;), just not often, Sasha also "talks to everyone"
I also use the chatrooms on other sites that have them without cams and chat is more interesting
Quote by MidsCouple24
and as if by majic, we just got this mail from a single male ......
(Obviously I have removed the user name so that nobody knows who it is from (probably not even him)
Hi, Really like your profile, why don't you drop by and have a look at mine, and let me know what you think.
So we look at his profile, what a waste of time that was, all I know is he is a tall largely built guy of 33 yrs of age, straight but looking for bi-couples amongst others, does he honestly think anyone is going to be interested in organising a meet ? should we mail him and ask him to fill in the blanks ? why should we if he can't be bothered writing it in the first place, there are plenty of other single males who have bothered and have taken the time to read our profile, something we consider to be a sign of respect and not to read it before getting in touch is disrespectfull, we are not looking for disrespectfull peopile
I would hazard a guess that they have just joined the site today and may not even be full members. I believe that you have received a wink. It may possibly have been sent inadvertently.
I think it's very disrespectful to reproduce their profile in the forum. Others may not know who the profile belongs to but the owner of the profile will.
Sex God
I did a quick search and it wasn't hard to track him down lol.
We all know winks can be annoying but while I agree with your sentiment I think it's a tad disingenuous to remark about him having no photo's. He only joined the site today so perhaps they are still waiting to be approved and by the same token maybe he is still trying to decide what to put on his profile. Probably not, but I'll give the benefit of the doubt.
That said, I agree that people should read profiles, yours quite clearly states at the start of it no single males. (although is also says later on, around about chapter 3 of the longest profile text I've ever seen, that you do occasionally meet single males )
We all know winks can be annoying but while I agree with your sentiment I think it's a tad disingenuous to remark about him having no photo's. He only joined the site today so perhaps they are still waiting to be approved and by the same token maybe he is still trying to decide what to put on his profile. Probably not, but I'll give the benefit of the doubt.
That said, I agree that people should read profiles, yours quite clearly states at the start of it no single males. (although is also says later on, around about chapter 3 of the longest profile text I've ever seen, that you do occasionally meet single males
) Your right, we do meet single males occasionally, rarely, but even some of the nicer guys don't get down that far in what is, yes a long profile, so we have found that having that at the top does help to prevent them wasting thier time and ours.
Our profile is designed to convey a little of our personality, stop people wasting thier time by being upfront and honest about our swinging lifestyle and stop people wasting our time.
I realised that the guy who mailed us was new, unfortunately in most things you get only one chance, he has already blown his chance with us because he didn't bother to find out anything about the way things work or what we want before mailing us, we are not interested in people who are only interested in themselves.
I did hope he would read it and others who think the same as him, and perhaps learn from the mistake and improve thier chances of having some fun.
Our profile is designed to convey a little of our personality, stop people wasting thier time by being upfront and honest about our swinging lifestyle and stop people wasting our time.
I realised that the guy who mailed us was new, unfortunately in most things you get only one chance, he has already blown his chance with us because he didn't bother to find out anything about the way things work or what we want before mailing us, we are not interested in people who are only interested in themselves.
I did hope he would read it and others who think the same as him, and perhaps learn from the mistake and improve thier chances of having some fun.
Quote by MidsCouple24
Your right, we do meet single males occasionally, rarely, but even some of the nicer guys don't get down that far in what is, yes a long profile, so we have found that having that at the top does help to prevent them wasting thier time and ours.
Our profile is designed to convey a little of our personality, stop people wasting thier time by being upfront and honest about our swinging lifestyle and stop people wasting our time.
I realised that the guy who mailed us was new, unfortunately in most things you get only one chance, he has already blown his chance with us because he didn't bother to find out anything about the way things work or what we want before mailing us, we are not interested in people who are only interested in themselves.
I did hope he would read it and others who think the same as him, and perhaps learn from the mistake and improve thier chances of having some fun.
Reproducing the guy's profile is tantamount to naming and shaming which I believe is not permissible on this site. Can a mod please look at this?
I removed my post within half an hour of posting as soon as I realised after reading the other posts that even removing his name would not be enough to keep his anonanimity I have asked the people who copied the post using the quote facility to remove thier copies of it.
That said this profile is freely available for anyone to see, it has had only 2 views so far mine and that of he who found it using the search facility.
I have sent an apology to the person concerned but if the moderators believe it to be a breach of the rules then they do have the power to ban me from the forums and the site.
Will the punishment I get should I be punished also be given to Trev who quoted parts of MY profile ?
Naming and Shaming is no worse than abusive posts which some people here love to do don't they
That said this profile is freely available for anyone to see, it has had only 2 views so far mine and that of he who found it using the search facility.
I have sent an apology to the person concerned but if the moderators believe it to be a breach of the rules then they do have the power to ban me from the forums and the site.
Will the punishment I get should I be punished also be given to Trev who quoted parts of MY profile ?
Naming and Shaming is no worse than abusive posts which some people here love to do don't they
Quote by MidsCouple24
I removed my post within half an hour of posting as soon as I realised after reading the other posts that even removing his name would not be enough to keep his anonanimity I have asked the people who copied the post using the quote facility to remove thier copies of it.
That said this profile is freely available for anyone to see, it has had only 2 views so far mine and that of he who found it using the search facility.
I have sent an apology to the person concerned but if the moderators believe it to be a breach of the rules then they do have the power to ban me from the forums and the site.
Will the punishment I get should I be punished also be given to Trev who quoted parts of MY profile ?
Naming and Shaming is no worse than abusive posts which some people here love to do don't they
His profile may be freely available for all to see but no one would know that he sent you a wink, either by error or design and no one would know that he was the guy you were referring to in your post.
If you believe a post to be abusive, feel free to report it.
No, I am a soldier, I know when to retreat and when a war cannot be won, no matter what I post in these forums there are some that will argue black is white and white is black to put me down, it just isn't worth the arguments and bad feelings it brings to the forums, it ruins good discussions and spoils everyone's enjoyment so I will accept that what I did was wrong and ban myself from the forums.
Enjoy yourselves, Max, Trev, Star, have a great Xmas and and even better New Year.
Enjoy yourselves, Max, Trev, Star, have a great Xmas and and even better New Year.
Quote by MidsCouple24
No, I am a soldier, I know when to retreat and when a war cannot be won, no matter what I post in these forums there are some that will argue black is white and white is black to put me down, it just isn't worth the arguments and bad feelings it brings to the forums, it ruins good discussions and spoils everyone's enjoyment so I will accept that what I did was wrong and ban myself from the forums.
Enjoy yourselves, Max, Trev, Star, have a great Xmas and and even better New Year.
Sex God
Don't worry Max, he hasn't banned himself for very long as I can still see his name at the bottom of the forum index page where it says who is in the forum
Forum Virgin
Yes, I'm very very lazy, lol. Good job, house to keep clean, garden to keep tidy, car to keep in trim and a few goldfish for company! I have friends, but when it comes to women I really can't be bothered unless I meet someone and we have a mutual attraction - which hasn't happened yet. Have been out with women as friends but nothing more. I guess I'm just not the marrying type. Which probably spares me many hassles!
