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Single Men on SH
hi judy
sometimes i find it hard to wrght what i want to say,,,, i comes across a bit blunt ,,,,, sorry abuot that ,,,,,,,, im dislexic lol if thats how you spell it,,,,,,,,, cant spelll ,,,, so comeing on p c to type something can be a task and a half,,,,,,,,,,,,, so geting back to the pont i do wright one lines sometimes,,,,, or cut short some of the things i want to say becouse i cant spell the word i want to put.............. i guess uthere poeple are in same as me,,,,,,,,,, as judy says she as met some nice guys that have only used a one liner,,,,,,,, i have only met one cpl of hear as yet and what a fantastic night,,,,,,,,,, had a grate time and found new freaids ,,, simmon and katy,,,,,,,,, cool,,,,,,,,,,
all best dave
sometimes i find it hard to wrght what i want to say,,,, i comes across a bit blunt ,,,,, sorry abuot that ,,,,,,,, im dislexic lol if thats how you spell it,,,,,,,,, cant spelll ,,,, so comeing on p c to type something can be a task and a half,,,,,,,,,,,,, so geting back to the pont i do wright one lines sometimes,,,,, or cut short some of the things i want to say becouse i cant spell the word i want to put.............. i guess uthere poeple are in same as me,,,,,,,,,, as judy says she as met some nice guys that have only used a one liner,,,,,,,, i have only met one cpl of hear as yet and what a fantastic night,,,,,,,,,, had a grate time and found new freaids ,,, simmon and katy,,,,,,,,, cool,,,,,,,,,,
all best dave
Sex God
TBH Iknow I've posted threads about the problem of "single" guys in the past and a lot of the concerns have been aired already so I don't need to rake over old ground or to start listing them again.
I, personally think that you get out of this site exactly what you put into it.
I think that it's important to point out who we are refering to when we say "single guys".
They are the ignorant, arrogant people that come into the site to with a closed mind. To try and get laid by spamming every female-looking name on the site and by generally just being a pain in the ass.
I'd hope that the single guys that come in here and are just trying to get laid because they've heard that swingers will do it with anyone get sent away with their tail between their legs and those that come into the forum with an open mind and a willingness to start a journey that will introduce them to new friends, let them share in the ups and downs of friends lives, let them discover who they really are or who they want to be and maybe even get a little lovin', will remain.
To be honest it seems to be a system that is working at the moment.
So to the guys looking for a quick leg-over....
To the guys who are here because they are genuinely interested :welcome:
And just remember.....sooner or later your true personality will show through.
I, personally think that you get out of this site exactly what you put into it.
I think that it's important to point out who we are refering to when we say "single guys".
They are the ignorant, arrogant people that come into the site to with a closed mind. To try and get laid by spamming every female-looking name on the site and by generally just being a pain in the ass.
I'd hope that the single guys that come in here and are just trying to get laid because they've heard that swingers will do it with anyone get sent away with their tail between their legs and those that come into the forum with an open mind and a willingness to start a journey that will introduce them to new friends, let them share in the ups and downs of friends lives, let them discover who they really are or who they want to be and maybe even get a little lovin', will remain.
To be honest it seems to be a system that is working at the moment.
So to the guys looking for a quick leg-over....
To the guys who are here because they are genuinely interested :welcome:
And just remember.....sooner or later your true personality will show through.
Usefuldibdob - Now I feel really bad at laughing at something you said and TE responded to ...... please don't feel offended tho, it was just a play on words. Something that is done a lot here. It was not meant in a nasty way, just twisting what you said to mean something else 
You may not be the worlds best speller, but you can make sense and put your points and opinions across, as you've just proved with the above post.
Bluddy well done to you I say, to have the guts to come on here and use typing as communication
......... to make things easier for you tho (and many others that have the same problem) you can get these talk and type programs. Have no idea what they are like or how good they are, but might be worth looking into if you find yourself struggling too much. If you need details, put a thread up, there must be someone that knows about them on this site. :D
Once again, I admire you for your guts, thought and effort that you put in
Now then onto the single guy thing ......... nothing to add really, cracking post Judy
As a single straight (ok slightly bi curious, but nothing I want to act on as yet) fem, I would be pretty lost without em. Sure you get the odd moron, same as the odd moronic single fem, couple etc. But in my experience, 99% of the single guys have been lovely. I refuse to let that odd 1% mar my view on it - would feel like they have got the one up then ...... they usually disappear pretty quickly too (usually with a flea in their ear) once they realise that the swinging breed isn't quite such an easy bunch as they first thought 8-)
You may not be the worlds best speller, but you can make sense and put your points and opinions across, as you've just proved with the above post.
Bluddy well done to you I say, to have the guts to come on here and use typing as communication
......... to make things easier for you tho (and many others that have the same problem) you can get these talk and type programs. Have no idea what they are like or how good they are, but might be worth looking into if you find yourself struggling too much. If you need details, put a thread up, there must be someone that knows about them on this site. :D Once again, I admire you for your guts, thought and effort that you put in
Now then onto the single guy thing ......... nothing to add really, cracking post Judy
As a single straight (ok slightly bi curious, but nothing I want to act on as yet) fem, I would be pretty lost without em. Sure you get the odd moron, same as the odd moronic single fem, couple etc. But in my experience, 99% of the single guys have been lovely. I refuse to let that odd 1% mar my view on it - would feel like they have got the one up then ...... they usually disappear pretty quickly too (usually with a flea in their ear) once they realise that the swinging breed isn't quite such an easy bunch as they first thought 8-) The people who spring to mind for me are single guys who - fixed my PC - helped me write my advert - the ones who have organised the Scottish, NW and NE Munches - all of which I've attended or am about to attend - the single guys I shared a room with - the one who got me into the chatroom for the first time - the one who put me up for the night when my accommodation plans fell through (and was a perfect gent) - the one who baby sat me on my first clubbing experience - the ones who have chatted into the early hours - the ones who send nice PM's when you are down - and the ones who made me wee myself laughing on this site
All in all a very articulate, caring, helpful, friendly and funny group of people. I totally agree with Judy the lovely ones make up for all the tossers.
All in all a very articulate, caring, helpful, friendly and funny group of people. I totally agree with Judy the lovely ones make up for all the tossers.
Quote by celticq
The people who spring to mind for me are single guys who - fixed my PC - helped me write my advert - the ones who have organised the Scottish, NW and NE Munches - all of which I've attended or am about to attend - the single guys I shared a room with - the one who got me into the chatroom for the first time - the one who put me up for the night when my accommodation plans fell through (and was a perfect gent) - the one who baby sat me on my first clubbing experience - the ones who have chatted into the early hours - the ones who send nice PM's when you are down - and the ones who made me wee myself laughing on this site
All in all a very articulate, caring, helpful, friendly and funny group of people. I totally agree with Judy the lovely ones make up for all the tossers.
Thats what I meant!!!!! give or take a few incidents - superbly put CQ
Sex God
Quote by celticq
All in all a very articulate, caring, helpful, friendly and funny group of people. I totally agree with Judy the lovely ones make up for all the tossers.
I agree whole heartedly to that.
Quote by ACE IN THE HOLE
LEE ( I AM WHAT I AM DONT GIVE A DAM YOUR LIFE IS A SHAM UNTIL YOU CAN SAY THAT )
There we go JudyTV....Seems I'm not the only one who feels that way. You're great. I appreciate you and thanks for putting a smile back on my face.
thanx judy ,,, very kind words,,,,,,,, if i ever get an invite to a munch or meet you out some where i might give you a snog or at least you will get a kiss on the cheek ,,, miss chief i would never take eneything personaly lol so dont feil bad,,,,,,,, but thanx eney way ,,,,,,, and every one else
take care dave
Aye that all that makes sense and too true. Alas from the Single male point of view, it is difficult. I think maybe there are few presumptions that underpin the problem for single fella's, like why are you single, your too young, your after just getting your end away etc etc.
Its difficult to come through that and try and convince someone thats not what you are about. Unfortunately, this feeling has no doubt been derived through too many, need I say immature and blunt unemotional twerps who indeed feel thats its a free meal ticket.
It is a shame that it can ruin it for the sincere folk. I have yet to progress to a real encounter through this forum, not through lack of trying or genuine honesty. It would seem the photo adds are virtually impreginable and stacked way in the ladies favour. No matter how honest I pitch an add, ive yet to get a response. No matter how I go about an introduction, im yet to get a reply. It does rather get on ones tits after a while, especially when the same adds you tried to contact are renewed to the front of the pile.
Am I ranting here? probably,
, ok all take care
Its difficult to come through that and try and convince someone thats not what you are about. Unfortunately, this feeling has no doubt been derived through too many, need I say immature and blunt unemotional twerps who indeed feel thats its a free meal ticket.
It is a shame that it can ruin it for the sincere folk. I have yet to progress to a real encounter through this forum, not through lack of trying or genuine honesty. It would seem the photo adds are virtually impreginable and stacked way in the ladies favour. No matter how honest I pitch an add, ive yet to get a response. No matter how I go about an introduction, im yet to get a reply. It does rather get on ones tits after a while, especially when the same adds you tried to contact are renewed to the front of the pile.
Am I ranting here? probably,
, ok all take care 
Sex God
<<< on the verge of another long ramble on the whole single guy issue, but finds we'll all be here again next week >>>
guys much respect for redefining what is meant by single guy. can't add to it so won't try for once.
the site works. if it doesn't work, look to what you are doing here in the first place, and how you are going about it. moaning about it is not a route to success. avoid that one. try another route. if the world and his wife won't meet you, maybe they don't want to. up to you to change that, not them.
that's it.
neil x x x ;-)
guys much respect for redefining what is meant by single guy. can't add to it so won't try for once.
the site works. if it doesn't work, look to what you are doing here in the first place, and how you are going about it. moaning about it is not a route to success. avoid that one. try another route. if the world and his wife won't meet you, maybe they don't want to. up to you to change that, not them.
that's it.
neil x x x ;-)
Quote by Bluethunder
especially when the same adds you tried to contact are renewed to the front of the pile.
You expect people to let their ads fall of the page, or stop looking, just because they have decided that you are not what they want?
Our ad has had literally hundreds of responses in the month or so it has been up and we reply to every one. We have replied in the positive to about five of these responses, and actually met with one couple and one single guy, from here.
Some people, when they get a "thanks, but no thanks" from us, write back to ask why. That's understandable. Others just keep sending the same reply again and again.
All the same, I don't see why people get miffed when they get a "no" from someone, the respondant then seems to think that the ad should not be renewed. Maybe they're doing this because after receiving replies that do not 'fit' with what they want (like yours) they decide that their ad maybe needs changing. Is that not OK?
Vix,
I think you are a little bit harsh on BlueThunder.
In effect he was just saying that it is difficult for single men. Which it is and you can argue about that all you like but it is initially very difficult for single men.
He just gave his reasons why he is finding it difficult, which for some reason you appear to have found offensive.
He just said that because the same ads are refreshed it makes it hard to find people he hasn't already replied to. I dont think he said he expected them to fall off the bottom of the page.
Vix you say
Isn't that what we are here for?
By being as aggressive as you have I think you have just illustrated what he was trying to say.
Steve
XXX
I think you are a little bit harsh on BlueThunder.
In effect he was just saying that it is difficult for single men. Which it is and you can argue about that all you like but it is initially very difficult for single men.
He just gave his reasons why he is finding it difficult, which for some reason you appear to have found offensive.
He just said that because the same ads are refreshed it makes it hard to find people he hasn't already replied to. I dont think he said he expected them to fall off the bottom of the page.
Vix you say
and actually met with one couple and one single guy
Isn't that what we are here for?
By being as aggressive as you have I think you have just illustrated what he was trying to say.
Steve
XXX
Quote by Vix
especially when the same adds you tried to contact are renewed to the front of the pile.
You expect people to let their ads fall of the page, or stop looking, just because they have decided that you are not what they want?
this because after receiving replies that do not 'fit' with what they want (like yours) they decide that their ad maybe needs changing. Is that not OK?
With risk of doing myself more damage, perhaps I wasnt clear with what I meant with regards to the adds system. WIth the adds I have approached, Ive done so in the best balanced and sincere way I know how, trying to follow there criteria to the letter. If I felt I didnt meet the initial brief, I would not apply. NO cheesey one liners or garbage from me just straight genuine description or questions. Where I fall down, is I dont include a photo of myself (V stupid I know), but at that first stage see it not necessary. When applying to adds without photo's aswell surely there is no harm.
My gripe perhaps (and the initial post was not meant to be a gripe-sorry if thats how it came across folks
) is; ive never had a response, not a "no thanks", "f-off", nothing, then you see the add turned around again and back on the front of the boards. Kinda makes you feel why did I bother. Sure, maybe there add was misleading and the response wasnt what they wanted, but most arent changed, just reset to the top of the pile. The only response I ever had, looked suspcsiously automated, and indeed redirected me to another site where a fee was required to contact that person. Given my lack of success I closed that line of enquiry.I hope this isnt pissing anyone off, but the statistics are stacked in favour of the lady or indeed a couple (as long as there is a lady in there somewhere). Just look at how many Male for female adds there are then compare them to the small number of female for male.
The argument, everyone else finds it ok it must be you, if you dont like it go away! Is a little unpleasent, no one wants to feel and outcast.
This is indeed a very good, genuine, clean site and an excellent medium for most. If nothing else for me, it is a brilliant source of advice.
Thanks for the time folks, take care
Quote by Bluethunder
[ The only response I ever had, looked suspcsiously automated, and indeed redirected me to another site where a fee was required to contact that person. Given my lack of success I closed that line of enquiry.
Blue
If this ever happens again - please inform a mod - this type of advertiser is against site policy
I understand what you are getting at here. When I first came to this site - me and hubby used to look at the ads. It seemed many must have spent so ling consistently bumping their ad to the top that they could have very little time left to read any emails let alone reply to them
From your post you appear to be very fair AND literate. Maybe spend more time in here getting to know people - possiblyfar more productive than the ads for you.
Hugs, Alex x x
Sex God
i may be completely wrong, but i didn't read vix as harsh.
look swinging is tough for everyone. couples and single fems as well as single blokes. that is IMHO through contact i have with lots of people from this site.
it is a fact of life, but the expectations of some do make it hard for single men because we are tarred with the random quick shag brush. that is not swinging. and yes it can make it hard. but maybe no harder than it ought to be.
this is not having a go at anyone at all, so please don't take it as personal comment, it's not. it's just a fact of life. this site will work if you play it right. you have to find what works for you. if it doesn't work that doesn't mean the site doesn't work or that swinging is excluding single males. i'm not sure the MMF 3some can work without one!
bide your time, find out what your reasons for being here are, then try and click with ((( well-worn phrase alert ))) "like-minded people"
neil x x x ;-)
look swinging is tough for everyone. couples and single fems as well as single blokes. that is IMHO through contact i have with lots of people from this site.
it is a fact of life, but the expectations of some do make it hard for single men because we are tarred with the random quick shag brush. that is not swinging. and yes it can make it hard. but maybe no harder than it ought to be.
this is not having a go at anyone at all, so please don't take it as personal comment, it's not. it's just a fact of life. this site will work if you play it right. you have to find what works for you. if it doesn't work that doesn't mean the site doesn't work or that swinging is excluding single males. i'm not sure the MMF 3some can work without one!
bide your time, find out what your reasons for being here are, then try and click with ((( well-worn phrase alert ))) "like-minded people"
neil x x x ;-)
Quote by Vix
[All the same, I don't see why people get miffed when they get a "no" from someone, the respondant then seems to think that the ad should not be renewed. Maybe they're doing this because after receiving replies that do not 'fit' with what they want (like yours) they decide that their ad maybe needs changing. Is that not OK?
I think the issue is when the respondant isn't getting a "no". Traditional wisdom has it that this is because the recipient is snowed down by so many responses that they could hope to reply to them all. Fair enough.
Yet if they renew their ads back to the top of the pile on a daily basis, it surely means they're going to get more responses, when traditional wisdom is they can't cope with what they're already getting. That just doesn't add up.
This thread is still running , without I soon methinks
All points taken onboard :!:
Steve, I hope that support wasn't anything to do with the fact you are unfortunate enough to reside in the west mids :lol:
Neil, indeed you are right.
Alex, thanks
Roger, this was my line of thinking :idea:
, without I soon methinksAll points taken onboard :!:
Steve, I hope that support wasn't anything to do with the fact you are unfortunate enough to reside in the west mids :lol:
Neil, indeed you are right.
Alex, thanks
Roger, this was my line of thinking :idea:
Sex God
no roger fgs.
they are not getting the responses they want!
yes fems are couples are often flooded. but people come here wanting particular things. same as the "9" cock can accom" comes here wanting a particular thing. that's it.
the ads are the last place i'd go. mines there for another joke and a bit more info. do i take it off as a fraudulent ad or cos i'm snowed under? no. have i rejected offers i don't want. yes.
i bounce it to keep it there, but not cos i expect to be flooded with emails. i do my tarting through here, and all people know me by are my words. same words people use to repond to ads. because people can know me and make a choice. why deny them that choice, and see it as their problem?
neil x x x ;-)
they are not getting the responses they want!
yes fems are couples are often flooded. but people come here wanting particular things. same as the "9" cock can accom" comes here wanting a particular thing. that's it.
the ads are the last place i'd go. mines there for another joke and a bit more info. do i take it off as a fraudulent ad or cos i'm snowed under? no. have i rejected offers i don't want. yes.
i bounce it to keep it there, but not cos i expect to be flooded with emails. i do my tarting through here, and all people know me by are my words. same words people use to repond to ads. because people can know me and make a choice. why deny them that choice, and see it as their problem?
neil x x x ;-)
Quote by Bluethunder
No matter how I go about an introduction, im yet to get a reply. It does rather get on ones tits after a while,
I sympathise, I really do.
My suggestion - for you and anyone in the same position as Bluethunder - is to step back and reassess your life. That time you're spending writing replies to ads is time utterly wasted if you're not getting replies back. So, unless you really enjoy the act of replying, stop. With the time you'll gain, invest a little in producing the best ad you can for yourself; it's got a very low chance of getting a response but at least when it's done, the effort you've put into it will last and endure, and there's always the chance someone will respond to it at some point in the next few months. Hey, it only takes one person, right?
With the rest of the time you would have spent replying to ads... do something else. Go out, take a class, dance all night - whatever floats your boat. When it comes to meeting people, there really is no substitite to getting out and, uh, meeting people.
We only have a finite amount of time on this Earth, so I feel it's best for all of us to invest that time in activities that bring us the maximum satisfaction.
Quote by neilinleeds
no roger fgs.
they are not getting the responses they want!
So? The demographic of guys reading the ads isn't gonna suddenly change; putting your ad to the top of the pile is just going to deliver you more of the same.
Quote by neilinleeds
why deny them that choice, and see it as their problem?
Huh? What on Earth are you talking about?
Of course people have the choice not to reply, just like they have the choice to give their kids pocket money and be mean to their granny. What do you think I'm suggesting, some kind of Swinging Nazi Paratrooper who sits on your monitor and shoots you if you don't reply to every mail you receive?
Seriously, mate. I love and respect you to the end of the Earth (in a masculine, manly, heterosexual kind of way), but you've lost me here.
Roger, your exactly right and, this was exactly my course of action. I stopped, stopped looking and deleted my add. In fact I only replied to this thread in the onset to offer my opinion and experiance as I thought it relevant. Some may say i've given up, but there was no mission outlined from the begining, just something new I thought id try. For me, for whatever ever reason, nothing came of it. Hopefully I havent lost out, yes time-some, but it was a risk I undertook and being a virgin to this did not know what honestly to expect.
The potential of this site is down to the individual and the availablity of those at the that time. That is to say, there are/ are not people who will work well with eachother for their respected objetives through this site at any one time. There is a certain amount of luck involved, that the adds are timed well!
Surely Neil, you wont deny me this? However, I suspect, if you spend all your time in here, seeking out new contacts, statistics dictate you will eventually become succesful.
Perhaps then, the point is, this site isnt for the half hearted or peops who "think ill give it ago, maybe, probably etc etc" and those who really put effort in.
If I carry on like this I will be detracting from my initial replies and contradicting myself, thus, Ill stop
The potential of this site is down to the individual and the availablity of those at the that time. That is to say, there are/ are not people who will work well with eachother for their respected objetives through this site at any one time. There is a certain amount of luck involved, that the adds are timed well!
Surely Neil, you wont deny me this? However, I suspect, if you spend all your time in here, seeking out new contacts, statistics dictate you will eventually become succesful.
Perhaps then, the point is, this site isnt for the half hearted or peops who "think ill give it ago, maybe, probably etc etc" and those who really put effort in.
If I carry on like this I will be detracting from my initial replies and contradicting myself, thus, Ill stop
JudyTV
Ironically you started it, and you've finished it. Not that I feel that ive dug a wee hole for myself but, I see your point. On those specifics it doesnt look good. I do however know, what i have done and not done in this relatively small period of time. I reserve the right to say wether, hand on heart I HAVE tried or not. I believe I did. I use the past tense because, just now, for a shortwhile atleast I wont have the luxary of a connection to this wonderful cyber world. That is not to say I wont be paying you all a visit once in a while, and maybe chucking my pennys worth in around the forum atleast.
Once again, all the best to you and the site
Ironically you started it, and you've finished it. Not that I feel that ive dug a wee hole for myself but, I see your point. On those specifics it doesnt look good. I do however know, what i have done and not done in this relatively small period of time. I reserve the right to say wether, hand on heart I HAVE tried or not. I believe I did. I use the past tense because, just now, for a shortwhile atleast I wont have the luxary of a connection to this wonderful cyber world. That is not to say I wont be paying you all a visit once in a while, and maybe chucking my pennys worth in around the forum atleast.
Once again, all the best to you and the site
