OGM I really should not get the big heavy dictionary out, lmao
Swingle,
1 A flat-bladed wooden instrument used for beating and scraping flax or hemp to remove coarse matter from it.
2 to use a swingle on. old english verb.
Swing,
16 slang, to swap partners in a group, esp. habitually.
Swinger only has "dancer" and "modern person"
The problem with a dictionary is its only as good as the understanding of the researchers and writers and none of us totally fit in the nice neat little discriptions.
To me a swinger is someone (couple or single) that can understand, enjoy, and accept non relationship sex and who is open about this both to prospective partners and others they play with either on a 1-1 basis or 3 or more situations... a non swinger is someone that either lies about the situation or who becomes emotionally attatched to the detriment or one or other party.
You could argue that someone that only does 1-1's is a serial manogomist and not a swinger but I do feel that its more to do with the honisty and mind set and not who you play with or the combinations.
I know I probably would not enter into a relationship that didnt involve swinging (I use probably as there is now telling how emotions can work) but I do talk about my being a swinger and also into the bdsm/fetish scenes at a very early stage... infact usualy as part of the initial chat... if they are freaked then they are not for me as I know I would find it hard to give up either lifestyle especially as my photography takes me into direct contact with both scenes... I would rather go for years without a partner, than find one and fall inlove yet always hanker after and mis the scenes which would probably result in festering unrest. Quite frankly im old enough and self aware enough to be happily single and swing with people I find sexually attractive and not be out for a fuck and to hurt people by telling lies and just having sex for the sake of it.
im a newbie but i believe that we should never ever close our eyes to the fact that sex and the liberation from old ideas and limitsshould keep us from excepting everyone
Basically, if you go regularly to parties you're probably a swinger. Or the cleaner. Similarly, if you're single and get together with a couple for a bit of spice, you're involved in a swinging sort of situation, ergo you're probably a swinger. The cleaner doesn't enter into the equation here. Unless you're also the cleaner, but the two can be mutually exclusive states. Like ooh, I dunno, Florida and Wisconsin. For further proof, ask the swinging cleaners of Florida and Wisconsin - they surely MUST exist. More likely in Florida because it's got a greater urban population density or something so more offices and more cleaners. Yeah...
Very interested in this thread. I am newly single again and have been wondering whether swinging is something I can do on my own.
I always thought that swinging was simply "wife-swapping" but have come to rea;lise that it's much more than that.
It's all about an open-minded respectful attitude to sex.
Now that I've been introduced to the scene, I would like to carry on, but don't really relish the thought of going into a swingers club all on my own.
Any advice would be gratefully received!
perhaps we should pm and see if we could go together ... I am open to that idea.
I'm with Blue on this one. What we're talking about is an attitude, and the behaviours that arise from that attitude vary with the individual. How you label it is up to you, but to take that label and specifically define it in terms of what it means to you personally is possibly the thin end of an almost secular wedge and you end up with people saying stuff like "You're not a real swinger because..."
Let it be whatever you want it to be.