Hi Folks.
I've recently become single. Now, before you all jump to conclusions, I'm not asking for anything. Not even a wee bit of sympathy. I just wondered about the experiences anyone out there might have had when, after a long-term relationship (mine was five years, so not exactly a lifetime) you suddenly find yourself single again.
The first thing that went through my mind was "it's a jungle out there" and, over the last couple of weeks, this instinct has been confirmed. But it's an interesting experience. I'm not used to being single, having been in a few long-term relationships since I was 17.
I'm just interested in what other people's experiences of this were/are. What do others do when singledom is thrust upon them? Or, alternatively, what do you think you _would_ do were singledom (hypothetically) thrust upon you.
Ta!
SC
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Singledom.
He's welcome to the fridgid uptight lazy witch :lol: Ooh, sorry to hear that Pagan. Hope I didn't open up any old wounds :-s
It's funny how you talk of enjoying my freedom. After the initial period of sympathy, most of my (married) friends started coming to me independently of each other, and telling me how jealous they were of me. I thought this was funny. Here I was in the middle of a bit of a crisis, and every other male I spoke to was telling me how lucky I was!
Well, I suppose I'll just have to wait and see whether this single life is for me!
SC
It's funny how you talk of enjoying my freedom. After the initial period of sympathy, most of my (married) friends started coming to me independently of each other, and telling me how jealous they were of me. I thought this was funny. Here I was in the middle of a bit of a crisis, and every other male I spoke to was telling me how lucky I was!
Well, I suppose I'll just have to wait and see whether this single life is for me!
SC
Sex God
stu,
out of the last 18 years, 14 of them have been coupled up, with 4 partners, and you know what? i'm damn glad i'm single right now, and having as good a time as i can, cos in a lot of ways, i never did the single thing when i was young, and suddenly i'm old enough to enjoy it without all that worry about actually *not* having a relationship!
admittedly struggled like fuck with the old "end to the relationship" thing last time out, but being single ain't so bad as it's sometimes made out!
neil - single by choice.
out of the last 18 years, 14 of them have been coupled up, with 4 partners, and you know what? i'm damn glad i'm single right now, and having as good a time as i can, cos in a lot of ways, i never did the single thing when i was young, and suddenly i'm old enough to enjoy it without all that worry about actually *not* having a relationship!
admittedly struggled like fuck with the old "end to the relationship" thing last time out, but being single ain't so bad as it's sometimes made out!
neil - single by choice.
Sex God
Being single is something I don't embrace but neither do I hate it.
Means that I get the whole bed, can eat what I want when I want to but I do miss out on the company now and again.
I'm used to being on my own but sometimes think that it's not healthy to spend so much time not speaking to anyone!
If I did find a nice man I got along with in all ways and we decided to have a relationship how would I cope? I'd have to make small talk! and spend much less time on the pc!
Oh I dunno, still not convinced what I want from life and doubt I ever will be until it finds me
Means that I get the whole bed, can eat what I want when I want to but I do miss out on the company now and again.
I'm used to being on my own but sometimes think that it's not healthy to spend so much time not speaking to anyone!
If I did find a nice man I got along with in all ways and we decided to have a relationship how would I cope? I'd have to make small talk! and spend much less time on the pc!
Oh I dunno, still not convinced what I want from life and doubt I ever will be until it finds me
My marriage ended after 15 years and I didn't see it coming. I moped around for 6 months then a friend suggested internet dating. After a couple of non starters I then met up with a gorgeous girl who I fell for in a big way, in fact it was she who opened my eyes to the world of swinging, not that we were active as a couple, sadly our relationship fell apart after a year of ups and downs. Thankfully SH had become a part of my life by then.
Now I have fully embraced life as a single guy (until the next one comes along) and am enjoying the freedom of choice and independence.
I have recently met and chatted to some lovely people through my association with SH and I am looking forward to meeting many more and making some good friends. Who knows, I might even find a swinging partner to share lifes journey with.
Now I have fully embraced life as a single guy (until the next one comes along) and am enjoying the freedom of choice and independence.
I have recently met and chatted to some lovely people through my association with SH and I am looking forward to meeting many more and making some good friends. Who knows, I might even find a swinging partner to share lifes journey with.
Orgasminator
Yes, it is a jungle out there and having to date again is not like riding a bicycle. When my partner broke up with me and we moved to different addresses, the first thing I did was to throw myself into dating. I met a different man every day or two. At least it paid my dinners... 
Every man I met I thought 'this is the one, perhaps' but it never was. Then after a couple of weeks of intense dating I felt more empty and depressed than ever. Then someone came into my life and offered to be there for me till something better came along. I foolishly accepted then realised that I was trapped in a dead end relationship. I am not one to look for 'something better' whilst involved with someone.
I miss the life I had. The home I had. The barbecues in the garden. Holidays with him. Watching him shave. Sharing the housework with him. Listening to his music with him desperately trying to educate me on groups and singers whose names I forgot as quickly as they had been spoken. Driving in the rain with him behind the wheel. Cooking for him and hearing him praise me. His DIY skills. The sleepover parties we held. His nagging about his job on the phone. Sorting out his finances and seeing the relief on his face. Lots of things I miss. I felt complete when I was with him. My weaknesses were his strengths and his weaknesses were my strengths. It was how it was meant to be.
Now I am single with a surplus of love to give and no takers. I have realised that it is not good to love or be loved. You have to love AND be loved at the same time for things to work out. Anything less is a temporary arrangement. At least that is my view on the subject.
Wishing you enjoy your life whether as a single or part of a couple.
Every man I met I thought 'this is the one, perhaps' but it never was. Then after a couple of weeks of intense dating I felt more empty and depressed than ever. Then someone came into my life and offered to be there for me till something better came along. I foolishly accepted then realised that I was trapped in a dead end relationship. I am not one to look for 'something better' whilst involved with someone.I miss the life I had. The home I had. The barbecues in the garden. Holidays with him. Watching him shave. Sharing the housework with him. Listening to his music with him desperately trying to educate me on groups and singers whose names I forgot as quickly as they had been spoken. Driving in the rain with him behind the wheel. Cooking for him and hearing him praise me. His DIY skills. The sleepover parties we held. His nagging about his job on the phone. Sorting out his finances and seeing the relief on his face. Lots of things I miss. I felt complete when I was with him. My weaknesses were his strengths and his weaknesses were my strengths. It was how it was meant to be.
Now I am single with a surplus of love to give and no takers. I have realised that it is not good to love or be loved. You have to love AND be loved at the same time for things to work out. Anything less is a temporary arrangement. At least that is my view on the subject.
Wishing you enjoy your life whether as a single or part of a couple.
The Single Person's Survival Kit by Jeff Green
As a single person, you will sometimes have different needs and requirements from someone in a couple. This shouldn't be too much of a problem. All you need to do is get together a few essential items to carry with you at all times:
A book - To give you something to pretend to do when waiting for dates, dining alone or to hide behind when you spot your ex having more fun than you (unless the book is called How to stop being a loser)
Sunglasses - To hid bloodshot eyes, look mysterious, ogle with impunity and, for us living in Britain, give off an air of hopeless optimism.
Rope and grappling hook - For when you've forgotten to replace the loo roll and the spare is under the kitchen sink.
Your own candle for dining alone.
Mobile phone - So that you can be forgotten and ignored wherever you go.
A fertile imagination - Or failing that a credit card and Internet connection :mrgreen:
:evil2:
As a single person, you will sometimes have different needs and requirements from someone in a couple. This shouldn't be too much of a problem. All you need to do is get together a few essential items to carry with you at all times:
A book - To give you something to pretend to do when waiting for dates, dining alone or to hide behind when you spot your ex having more fun than you (unless the book is called How to stop being a loser)
Sunglasses - To hid bloodshot eyes, look mysterious, ogle with impunity and, for us living in Britain, give off an air of hopeless optimism.
Rope and grappling hook - For when you've forgotten to replace the loo roll and the spare is under the kitchen sink.
Your own candle for dining alone.
Mobile phone - So that you can be forgotten and ignored wherever you go.
A fertile imagination - Or failing that a credit card and Internet connection :mrgreen:
:evil2:
The worst is the first few weeks, if you let yourself get to feeling down, it becomes habit, becomes as comfortable as your faverate trainers.
Make plans for things YOU wan to do, at times to suit you
Dont do as I did, sit at home on the carpet ( because she took everything that wasnt nailed down ) wallowing in self pity, and for gods sake dont go rushing into another long term relationship before you have recovered from this one, I did, I spent almost 9 years in a second relationship that was wrong for me for herand even more wrong for the kids, all because of the rebound effect. That caused both my new partner my family and myself a load of heartache and upset when finally it was laid to rest.
Be yourself, dont allow yourself to fall into the trap of self pity, I know its easier said than done, but its important. Take your time to get your mind trully sorted out, go out, date, have fun. Dont aim for a new longteerm relationship until you are settled in your own mind, I know the empty spot next to you is bloody awful, having nobody around when you feel down is hellish, but it does get easier, never %100 comfortable, but easier. Spend some time on YOU. get your mind clear. Meet people and have fun. Dont rush in. Take your time, and it will all come right
Make plans for things YOU wan to do, at times to suit you
Dont do as I did, sit at home on the carpet ( because she took everything that wasnt nailed down ) wallowing in self pity, and for gods sake dont go rushing into another long term relationship before you have recovered from this one, I did, I spent almost 9 years in a second relationship that was wrong for me for herand even more wrong for the kids, all because of the rebound effect. That caused both my new partner my family and myself a load of heartache and upset when finally it was laid to rest.
Be yourself, dont allow yourself to fall into the trap of self pity, I know its easier said than done, but its important. Take your time to get your mind trully sorted out, go out, date, have fun. Dont aim for a new longteerm relationship until you are settled in your own mind, I know the empty spot next to you is bloody awful, having nobody around when you feel down is hellish, but it does get easier, never %100 comfortable, but easier. Spend some time on YOU. get your mind clear. Meet people and have fun. Dont rush in. Take your time, and it will all come right
Hi Stu - like the posting
I ended up single at the age of 30 after being in 3 long(ish) term relationships since my late teens - similar to yourself. I got back to the UK after 2 years working in Germany (had left with a partner) and was coming back single. At first it was daunting but then I discovered the internet.... bars weren't really my scene and many of my mates were either married, about to be or having babies etc.
I made some GREAT friends on the net - don't get me wrong. I met some wankers, some sexy f***kers and some freaks but, after having a circle of 'fuck buddies' for a while settled down with one of them and they are now my long term partner. We still see some of our 'fuck buddies' and have maintained friendships with others as well.
Enjoy being single - whatever route it takes you down. For me it was internet dating and some holidays to places I'd never been - aside from giving me what I have now, it improved my computer skills and typing speed no end! I am sure that there are some people out there - your mates included that would do things differently if they had their time again and may even envy you in some way.
Good luck mate,
Bloke 2005
I ended up single at the age of 30 after being in 3 long(ish) term relationships since my late teens - similar to yourself. I got back to the UK after 2 years working in Germany (had left with a partner) and was coming back single. At first it was daunting but then I discovered the internet.... bars weren't really my scene and many of my mates were either married, about to be or having babies etc.
I made some GREAT friends on the net - don't get me wrong. I met some wankers, some sexy f***kers and some freaks but, after having a circle of 'fuck buddies' for a while settled down with one of them and they are now my long term partner. We still see some of our 'fuck buddies' and have maintained friendships with others as well.
Enjoy being single - whatever route it takes you down. For me it was internet dating and some holidays to places I'd never been - aside from giving me what I have now, it improved my computer skills and typing speed no end! I am sure that there are some people out there - your mates included that would do things differently if they had their time again and may even envy you in some way.
Good luck mate,
Bloke 2005
