it's a bit like buying a car.
you see the ad on telly, arrange to have a look at your local dealers tell the salesman you are really interested, but when you look really closely you realise it's not what you really want.
i have had a couple of meets recently like someone said in a bar with no strings just to say hello, one progressed very nicely the other there was no compatibilty.
just dust yourself off and start again - thats swinging and life in general.