Sex God
They stopped doing licky type stamps years ago, you been steaming old ones off envelopes again you tight arse?
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Sex God
I don't know, want to invite me over to find out if there is? :rascal:
What everyone else said but also, I'd advise that you take some time just to watch what goes on in the chatrooms and Forums before just diving in.
Too many times I've retorted rather strongly back to someone who then claimed "sorry, I'm new".
There seems to me that some guys think this is a quick shag site . "I've paid me money, I wants me shag". That all the women on here are gagging for it and should be grateful for any offers that come their way.
I'll no doubt get lynched for this remark but hey ho ... fact: single guys are ten a penny. If you don't make the effort to be polite, courteous and stand out from the crowd, you won't get a look in.
Resign yourself to the fact that this is just a friendship site. People are here to chat, laugh, debate and make new friends. The sex is an added bonus. Once you have that attitude, you might find that less people "frown" upon you, you build up a good rapport with like minded folk and more swinging opportunities become available to you as people have got to know you, not the username, and an element of trust has been gained.
Good luck.
Too many times I've retorted rather strongly back to someone who then claimed "sorry, I'm new".
There seems to me that some guys think this is a quick shag site . "I've paid me money, I wants me shag". That all the women on here are gagging for it and should be grateful for any offers that come their way.
I'll no doubt get lynched for this remark but hey ho ... fact: single guys are ten a penny. If you don't make the effort to be polite, courteous and stand out from the crowd, you won't get a look in.
Resign yourself to the fact that this is just a friendship site. People are here to chat, laugh, debate and make new friends. The sex is an added bonus. Once you have that attitude, you might find that less people "frown" upon you, you build up a good rapport with like minded folk and more swinging opportunities become available to you as people have got to know you, not the username, and an element of trust has been gained.
Good luck.
Warming the Bed
My advice would be to read the advert and be specific to it.
It can be quite clear what kind of man a girl wants, so a generic mail which is obviously used on all the women here isn't going to impress, neither is a wink. I'd say most girls want to think you've mailed her because their ad (or chat/photo/activities etc) has caught your eye.
A bit of thought, wit and selectivity in a mail is the best way to go!
It can be quite clear what kind of man a girl wants, so a generic mail which is obviously used on all the women here isn't going to impress, neither is a wink. I'd say most girls want to think you've mailed her because their ad (or chat/photo/activities etc) has caught your eye.
A bit of thought, wit and selectivity in a mail is the best way to go!
Sex God
Quote by HJ47
Hello Lifes2short2007 and welcome to the forum
Getting back to the original posted topic for a moment, It’s a simple fact that single men outnumber the females and couples on the site by at least 10 to 1 – which means that should they want a single guy they have lots of choice. So the only way you are going to get anywhere is either to look like brad pitt (or whoever is this month’s flavour) or to stand out from the rest by contributing to the forums ( well you’ve made a start here) and to the chatrooms. Word your own ads carefully, and when responding to ads placed by others – read their profile and ALL their ads carefully beforehand and make sure you meet the requirements – or if you don’t then at least say why you think you should be an exception.
There is probably someone out there for you – but you need to stand out from the crowd. – Good luck.
excellent advice, in a nutshell! ;)
Lifes2short2007? not nearly so concise as HJ47's advice, but if you're ever stuck for a bit of bedtime reading, these are more longwinded ways of saying the exact same thing about how best a newbie single guy might go about approaching the scene. it's so easy to do, so obvious, so common sense, and it's been seen to work countless times, but unfortunately some never quite take it on board.
http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/advice/single-men.html
http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/swingers-forum/viewtopic/20451.html
http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/swingers-forum/viewtopic/13919.html
this one's a lot funnier! it's a stereotype, it's way over the top, very, very few people really act like that, but there's a good nugget of truth in there!
explains the occasional reticence in some quarters, at least till you've shown willing and proved yaself.;)http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/swingers-forum/viewtopic/10408.html
neil x x x ;)
Sex God
Quote by Serendipity
why r single men in particular frowned upon?:
Because they're evil and should be banned and blamed...from and for everything. Damn them and their single maleness!
:giggle:
Can i just pop round for some personal punishment instead? :rascal:
Quote by Marya_Northeast
What everyone else said but also, I'd advise that you take some time just to watch what goes on in the chatrooms and Forums before just diving in.
Too many times I've retorted rather strongly back to someone who then claimed "sorry, I'm new".
There seems to me that some guys think this is a quick shag site . "I've paid me money, I wants me shag". That all the women on here are gagging for it and should be grateful for any offers that come their way.
I'll no doubt get lynched for this remark but hey ho ... fact: single guys are ten a penny. If you don't make the effort to be polite, courteous and stand out from the crowd, you won't get a look in.
Resign yourself to the fact that this is just a friendship site. People are here to chat, laugh, debate and make new friends. The sex is an added bonus. Once you have that attitude, you might find that less people "frown" upon you, you build up a good rapport with like minded folk and more swinging opportunities become available to you as people have got to know you, not the username, and an element of trust has been gained.
Good luck.
Wise words there, I couldn't agree more with you. I have found this site to be a mine of friendly people, with wit and many other qualities besides.
When I took a deep breath and dived into the chat and the forums, participated a little and took the time to have conversations with a few people (male, female and couples) then I found that as well as being sexy, open minded and adventurous the vast majority of people here are also very warm, welcoming and inclusive.
As I got stuck into enjoying the chat and having a giggle with the locals, it seemed that something clicked, and since then I've found a handful of folks with the same sense of humour, appreciation of language and punning and (bonus)... the same kinks and perversions as me. :twisted:
SH is on the whole great, however... you have to participate. OK, there are going to be some people that just want to fuck, but it seems that a sizable minority if not the majority are also here to enjoy open liberated discussion with people that appreciate and share similar outlook.
Viva la swingers!
Now... if we can just give dogging the kiss of life!!!
Lust and hugs eymg x x
I tend to think it has become a habit to hate single guys in the scenario of a web swinging scene. There must be a few couples who have set out with the idea that hating single males is part of the 'code' of swinging.
With there being so many single males, its just not possible for there to be so much hatred directed towards them all. Such a lot of wasted energy and ill feelings. If you don't need that kind of hateful ignorance, then forget about it.
I'd say that 95% of the single guys are just fine and dandy dudes, who'd give you all a good time if accepted. Unfortunately the people who kvetch about single men usually have the innate ability to choose the 5%.
Of course all single men want sex asap. But its also experienced swingers who once they are comfortable and secure with any new prospective partners, suddenly require sex fairly asap as well. Many can be quite blunt when they come to 'collect'.
This may well be where much of the hate comes from. The single guy is in the enviable position to make a decision and is ready to go at the drop of a hat. The couple invariably deliberate in a ponderous dither as they trawl through and attempt to select from their makeshift shortlist, probably bickering with each other's choice and evaluations. No doubt causing them extreme irritation and feelings of hopeless inadequacy.
Ideal conditions for developing vindictive attitudes. So they lash out at their perceived cause of it............ single men.
With there being so many single males, its just not possible for there to be so much hatred directed towards them all. Such a lot of wasted energy and ill feelings. If you don't need that kind of hateful ignorance, then forget about it.
I'd say that 95% of the single guys are just fine and dandy dudes, who'd give you all a good time if accepted. Unfortunately the people who kvetch about single men usually have the innate ability to choose the 5%.
Of course all single men want sex asap. But its also experienced swingers who once they are comfortable and secure with any new prospective partners, suddenly require sex fairly asap as well. Many can be quite blunt when they come to 'collect'.
This may well be where much of the hate comes from. The single guy is in the enviable position to make a decision and is ready to go at the drop of a hat. The couple invariably deliberate in a ponderous dither as they trawl through and attempt to select from their makeshift shortlist, probably bickering with each other's choice and evaluations. No doubt causing them extreme irritation and feelings of hopeless inadequacy.
Ideal conditions for developing vindictive attitudes. So they lash out at their perceived cause of it............ single men.
Quote by flower411
I tend to think it has become a habit to hate single guys in the scenario of a web swinging scene. There must be a few couples who have set out with the idea that hating single males is part of the 'code' of swinging.
With there being so many single males, its just not possible for there to be so much hatred directed towards them all. Such a lot of wasted energy and ill feelings. If you don't need that kind of hateful ignorance, then forget about it.
I'd say that 95% of the single guys are just fine and dandy dudes, who'd give you all a good time if accepted. Unfortunately the people who kvetch about single men usually have the innate ability to choose the 5%.
Of course all single men want sex asap. But its also experienced swingers who once they are comfortable and secure with any new prospective partners, suddenly require sex fairly asap as well. Many can be quite blunt when they come to 'collect'.
This may well be where much of the hate comes from. The single guy is in the enviable position to make a decision and is ready to go at the drop of a hat. The couple invariably deliberate in a ponderous dither as they trawl through and attempt to select from their makeshift shortlist, probably bickering with each other's choice and evaluations. No doubt causing them extreme irritation and feelings of hopeless inadequacy.
Ideal conditions for developing vindictive attitudes. So they lash out at their perceived cause of it............ single men.
WOW !!! I gotta agree with you there !!!
You see it all the time in the chatrooms.. the lashing out, that is !!
The whole demonisation of single males is in some cases a way for some people to feel like part of the group. We like single males, but it just so happens that I`m the one who does all the checking etc and I am a bit particular about who mrs f is going to shag.
Before anybody gets upset, she does have the final say, but as time goes by she is beginning to trust my judgement, so new fantasies will soon be presnting themselves for fullfilment.
:lol: We love single males and will always reserve the right to play with the ones we like and will never be bamboozled into anything we don`t want to do :lol:
Single guys are usually in the position to be very intuitive and perceptive of the requirements of couples. The couple invariably expose themselves to a much greater degree than the single. The single can focus on the couple entirely. The couple may often be more in tune with each other.
You won't get any of that 'worrying' crap, from the 95%. You will when you make a duff choice.
Sex God
Quote by essex34m
I have done the easy bit, I have become known and accepted within the scene, as a single male
Now all I need to do is take advantage of that :twisted:
Known??
Sorry you are who??
:lol: :lol: 
Sex God
Quote by essex34m
I have done the easy bit, I have become known and accepted within the scene, as a single male
Now all I need to do is take advantage of that :twisted:
Now that they know what you're like Widey, All you've got to do is learn to run fast enough to catch the weak ones as they escape
Quote by meat2pleaseu
I have done the easy bit, I have become known and accepted within the scene, as a single male
Now all I need to do is take advantage of that :twisted:
Now that they know what you're like Widey, All you've got to do is learn to run fast enough to catch the weak ones as they escape
and i guess this would be while you are holding Dawnie's tits?
Quote by essex34m
I have done the easy bit, I have become known and accepted within the scene, as a single male
Now all I need to do is take advantage of that :twisted:
Now that they know what you're like Widey, All you've got to do is learn to run fast enough to catch the weak ones as they escape
and i guess this would be while you are holding Dawnie's tits?
:rotflmao::rotflmao::rotflmao::rotflmao:Leave my tits out of this :eeek:
Orgasminator
You have lovely tits dawnie -- wouldn't want them to feel left out :swingingchair:
I seem to have written quite a lot. Sorry.
This is right!
Just so you can see how the numbers stack up: about two months ago we put up ads looking for single men or groups of men, and got about two hundred replies in the first week. There was a point where every time we refreshed it there were ten more. Last month Ms Tomu changed the pictures on it, which inadvertently had the effect of refreshing the ad and we got a further hundred replies. Kind of exciting/flattering/arousing to feel so sought after but also a hell of a workload to get through.
It took us about a month to sift through all of them and make a shortlist. We wrote back to most of the maybes and some of the probablys (I think we wrote to the noes but i can't remember); we actually didn't get round to writing back to most of the yesses, but we have a list - er - somewhere. Then, because we hadn't been saving the messages, they started to disappear.
So - the things that got people instantly disqualified:
1. Not reading our advert or profile! Come on, if you seriously expect to get to the front of a queue of three hundred people, at least do us the courtesy of reading what we're looking for and answering that. Anything that looked like a cut and paste email that you send to everyone also got deleted.
2. just a cock shot. Yes, congratulations, but really, you can't tell anything about how someone looks from just a cock, and they almost always look a bit minging. Apart from mine obviously. (Incidentally we feel the same about pussy shots - I've only ever seen one pussy closeup that really made me want to fuck it). Pictures of your whole body are much better, then we can get an impression of your physique. And in any case since we asked for face pics and body shots and specifically not just cock shots, anyone who just sent cock shots got thrown out.
Actually out of the three hundred there was ONE guy whose penis actually made Ms T lick her lips (bigblackboy, if you're interested) but he had also written a good email and sent us some other pictures in any case. And actually it's a good picture - he's oiled it up and shot it from a good angle against a clear background, and put in his hand for scale.
3. rudeness, scariness or general shit email writing. Ok, someone offered to "rag doll" her. We don't know what this is but it doesn't sound fun! Somebody else said "I've never fucked a scally bird before." Scally? Where the fuck did that come from? Don't insult the person you're trying to have sex with, or make her feel like she might not be safe. Any hint of psychosis got deleted. Any hint of being obsessive or pushy. Basically we only wanted to meet people we thought we might get on with. Not necessarily to be our best friends, but some sort of reasonableness is good. Also Ms T is a bit of a grammar snob as well.
4. Too far away - when we've got a hundred applicants here in Liverpool we're not going to travel to Essex, are we? and even if you're willing to travel we kind of prefer people nearby, because then we can go for a drink and figure out if we actually fancy each other without anyone having to travel a hundred miles. (On the other hand it's nice to have a list of people in different cities tht we could phone up if ever we're in town).
5. No profile text. Looks like you aren't really bothered.
6. Looks. After all that she does actually have to fancy you!
And things that counted in people's favour (aside from the opposites of the above, of course):
1. bisexuality; if you've read our profile you'd see that I'm (Mr) a little bit bi, so if you're a bit bi then that's an extra incentive to meet you. Even people who said "I'm not bi, but the fact that Mr is doesn't bother me" gained points for that. Everyone is looking for different things, but if you offer someone something more than most people do then that's an advantage. As long as you mean it of course.
2. Some kind of interesting idea. Someone wrote to us about a secretary fetish role play scenario; he actually went on the list despite not sending pictures. It intrigued us. Mind you, someone wrote out a massive email about his fantasies, and also complained about people being rude and fake and bullshitters, and then a week later sent exactly the same text again, kind of proving that it was a cut and paste that he sent out on spec to everyone.
3. Creative/arty/well thought out pictures. Anything to make you look like you've put a bit of thought or effort into it.
4. flexibility/understanding. We've actually had to cancel on one guy a couple of times but rather than assuming that we're bullshitting him he seems to have accepted that people's real lives sometimes intrude, and we're still on for a meet. The same is true in reverse - if you can't make it that's fine, as long as you let us know.
And the number of those three hundred guys we've actually fucked so far? One. Some people dropped off the radar, some never turned up to meets without contacting us, sometimes other people had to cancel (which again is fine), and frankly we're busy as well, and only have a certain amount of free time for swinging.
So just because you might not always get a response, or you might not get chosen, or someone might call off the meeting with you, doesn't mean people are fakes! Just that, single guys, the numbers are really stacked against you, and if you want to get any, you really have to make your emails, profile and pictures look as good as possible.
Erm yeah, sorry that was so long!
Quote by Wilddaisy
My advice would be to read the advert and be specific to it.
It can be quite clear what kind of man a girl wants, so a generic mail which is obviously used on all the women here isn't going to impress, neither is a wink.
This is right!
Just so you can see how the numbers stack up: about two months ago we put up ads looking for single men or groups of men, and got about two hundred replies in the first week. There was a point where every time we refreshed it there were ten more. Last month Ms Tomu changed the pictures on it, which inadvertently had the effect of refreshing the ad and we got a further hundred replies. Kind of exciting/flattering/arousing to feel so sought after but also a hell of a workload to get through.
It took us about a month to sift through all of them and make a shortlist. We wrote back to most of the maybes and some of the probablys (I think we wrote to the noes but i can't remember); we actually didn't get round to writing back to most of the yesses, but we have a list - er - somewhere. Then, because we hadn't been saving the messages, they started to disappear.
So - the things that got people instantly disqualified:
1. Not reading our advert or profile! Come on, if you seriously expect to get to the front of a queue of three hundred people, at least do us the courtesy of reading what we're looking for and answering that. Anything that looked like a cut and paste email that you send to everyone also got deleted.
2. just a cock shot. Yes, congratulations, but really, you can't tell anything about how someone looks from just a cock, and they almost always look a bit minging. Apart from mine obviously. (Incidentally we feel the same about pussy shots - I've only ever seen one pussy closeup that really made me want to fuck it). Pictures of your whole body are much better, then we can get an impression of your physique. And in any case since we asked for face pics and body shots and specifically not just cock shots, anyone who just sent cock shots got thrown out.
Actually out of the three hundred there was ONE guy whose penis actually made Ms T lick her lips (bigblackboy, if you're interested) but he had also written a good email and sent us some other pictures in any case. And actually it's a good picture - he's oiled it up and shot it from a good angle against a clear background, and put in his hand for scale.
3. rudeness, scariness or general shit email writing. Ok, someone offered to "rag doll" her. We don't know what this is but it doesn't sound fun! Somebody else said "I've never fucked a scally bird before." Scally? Where the fuck did that come from? Don't insult the person you're trying to have sex with, or make her feel like she might not be safe. Any hint of psychosis got deleted. Any hint of being obsessive or pushy. Basically we only wanted to meet people we thought we might get on with. Not necessarily to be our best friends, but some sort of reasonableness is good. Also Ms T is a bit of a grammar snob as well.
4. Too far away - when we've got a hundred applicants here in Liverpool we're not going to travel to Essex, are we? and even if you're willing to travel we kind of prefer people nearby, because then we can go for a drink and figure out if we actually fancy each other without anyone having to travel a hundred miles. (On the other hand it's nice to have a list of people in different cities tht we could phone up if ever we're in town).
5. No profile text. Looks like you aren't really bothered.
6. Looks. After all that she does actually have to fancy you!
And things that counted in people's favour (aside from the opposites of the above, of course):
1. bisexuality; if you've read our profile you'd see that I'm (Mr) a little bit bi, so if you're a bit bi then that's an extra incentive to meet you. Even people who said "I'm not bi, but the fact that Mr is doesn't bother me" gained points for that. Everyone is looking for different things, but if you offer someone something more than most people do then that's an advantage. As long as you mean it of course.
2. Some kind of interesting idea. Someone wrote to us about a secretary fetish role play scenario; he actually went on the list despite not sending pictures. It intrigued us. Mind you, someone wrote out a massive email about his fantasies, and also complained about people being rude and fake and bullshitters, and then a week later sent exactly the same text again, kind of proving that it was a cut and paste that he sent out on spec to everyone.
3. Creative/arty/well thought out pictures. Anything to make you look like you've put a bit of thought or effort into it.
4. flexibility/understanding. We've actually had to cancel on one guy a couple of times but rather than assuming that we're bullshitting him he seems to have accepted that people's real lives sometimes intrude, and we're still on for a meet. The same is true in reverse - if you can't make it that's fine, as long as you let us know.
And the number of those three hundred guys we've actually fucked so far? One. Some people dropped off the radar, some never turned up to meets without contacting us, sometimes other people had to cancel (which again is fine), and frankly we're busy as well, and only have a certain amount of free time for swinging.
So just because you might not always get a response, or you might not get chosen, or someone might call off the meeting with you, doesn't mean people are fakes! Just that, single guys, the numbers are really stacked against you, and if you want to get any, you really have to make your emails, profile and pictures look as good as possible.
Erm yeah, sorry that was so long!
