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Socialising in clubs...

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Silly question - any other couples find it hard to chat to other couples in clubs? We seem to hide in the corner and are too scared to chat to others (unless its a pre-arranged meet there!). Not scared of anything else - just talking...
Its as if saying "hello" is the same as asking for more or commiting to more than a chat!
Know what we mean!!?
Think we'll put posts up in "lets meet up" every time we go and aren't already seeing people so we can at least talk to someone!! ;)
Now please........tell us we aren't unique!?
(Hoping to make Brigton Sun Club LOADS next year - just to get a decent tan!)
You certainly are not unique and definitely know what you mean! redface surprisedops:
I / we find it exactly the same, especially as we are still relatively new to the club scene, and had a teensy bit of a bad experience the first time we went along those exact lines i.e. we got chatting with a couple who clearly saw it as an invitation for more, and we got out of our depth a little bit! :shock:
It's also difficult as we don't get a chance to go that often so it's difficult to build up any relationship with any regulars, staff etc.
So I agree with you totally, but can't really give you a solution .............. not much help really am I :oops: rolleyes
;) - great help - we're not alone! Hopefully if we go to BSC as often as we hope, we may see some regular faces (or other body bits) which may help..... We've not been to many clubs either so we'll learn!
We're looking forward to surreycouple2003 party on 30th - as that will obviously be more socialble and help us along!
(hopefully redface )
we always chat to people couples/singles whatever
a lot of clubs have the music way too loud to hear yourselves think let alone talk - one in newbury pk springs to mind
at others people are a bit clicky
just persevere the more people u say hi to the less likely u r to go somewhere and not know a soul- at least u can say hi didnt we see u at so &so
2`s
I definitely think the secret is to be able to go a bit more regularly and get used to what goes on :shock: :shock: :shock:
Unfortunately there are not that many clubs close to us and we have to travel quite a way to go anywhere decent, hence we don't get there often :cry:
But the more we go the better it definitely gets!!! wink
Good luck - I hope you have fun!
First time we went to a club,we did kind of stay in the background being nervous and unsure how to approach now going to a few more clubs and realising that you could talk to people even if there was no attraction you could say" thanks but no thanks" without feeling places do have their own groups but its a matter of getting to know people and going from there.
D and M
Quote by twos_company
where r u?
south`s a big area
2`s

Yep I see what you mean!!!! Maybe I should change that redface surprisedops: :oops:
Sunny (!) Hampshire is where we are wink
Quote by OnlyUs
Its as if saying "hello" is the same as asking for more or commiting to more than a chat!
Know what we mean!!?
(Hoping to make Brigton Sun Club LOADS next year - just to get a decent tan!)

We know what you mean but think you are probably worrying un-necessarily. Every club is different but we've never had a problem with just chatting. Most couples are happy to have a chat, especially if you are new and asking questions...it flatters the ego. wink
When we first started going to clubs we didn't play with other couples so would make that clear by dropping it into the conversation very early on. Most couples were happy to chat for a while with us even though they knew there was nowt down.
We've heard good things about BSC and will probably be visiting there next summer for a weekend with friends that go there. lol
hiya
the first time we tried was at club called liberation which has new swingers nights.
they kinda introduce you to other couples and get the conversation going
so we had a very smooth and very enjoyable time,now we are going back again,we are quite nervous(oh look newbies) :taz:
just hope there gentle with us rolleyes
cant wait really biggrin
addy no/169687
we agree it is a bit nerve racking when you first go to a club , we sat in the background and just took in the atmosphere redface but we ,re a bit shy to talk just in case we give people the wrong impression, cos we,re in to 3some single guy,s at the moment, ( not that we won,t try anything new though ),we just want to move along in our own time wink we were even afraid that too many guy,s would try to join in at once and we,d lose control lol but it,s not been anything like that so far and i know with a few more visits we,ll relax more
hump 69position :cheers: :beer:
lololol well the first coupla times i went to a club, i hid in the jacuzzi all bloody night! fortunately i was among friends, so the social side of it was easy. the sex side? no bloody way. bailed on that one sharpish! ;) the third time i went to a club, the socialising wasn't so bad, cos it was very relaxed and very friendly, and again i had friends there i could beat a hasty retreat to. :lol2: but i absolutely crapped myself every time someone approached us wanting to play. fortunately they took one look at my face, and backed right off with apologies, so i think most are fairly sensitive to that kinda thing. i guess everybody's been there! think i'd do better the next time, but they are tricky. but at the end of a day, a simple no is all it should take.
n x x x ;)
Quote by OnlyUs
We're looking forward to surreycouple2003 party on 30th - as that will obviously be more socialble and help us along!
(hopefully redface )

And we are looking forward to seeing you guys.
Actually we did a lot of dotting T's and crossing of I's last night - and we are starting to get really excited about the party. wink
See you soon
D&Mxxx
On our first time to a club, it was the toucan, we sat in the corner and never spoke to anyone all night, mind you we did have a great night all the same.
On our second visit and mainly down to Carmen looking so hot we were approached a few times and each and every time we felt we were being chatted up. One guy even came over and just asked us straight up if we would like to join him and his lady.
It was not as if people were just trying to have a conversation.
However don't let it put you off, I think what we have learned from it is that a simple "No thanks" will always surfice and no one gets funny about it.
Going more often does make it easier, you can see that from the groups of "Friends" that are chatting away, sometimes all night.
Quote by OnlyUs
Silly question - any other couples find it hard to chat to other couples in clubs? We seem to hide in the corner and are too scared to chat to others (unless its a pre-arranged meet there!). Not scared of anything else - just talking...
Its as if saying "hello" is the same as asking for more or commiting to more than a chat!
Know what we mean!!?
someoThink we'll put posts up in "lets meet up" every time we go and aren't already seeing people so we can at least talk to ne!! ;)
Now please........tell us we aren't unique!?
(Hoping to make Brigton Sun Club LOADS next year - just to get a decent tan!)
we have posted a add in lets meet up
dont really want to be that couple sitting in the quiet corner redface
its bad enough going in(but sitting there on our own)no cant do that
no wont do that no no :bounce:
We're SO glad that people have said this as it's exactly how we feel as well.
Like 'wewanttu2' (Hi there!) our first experience was at the Liberation 'newbie' night early Sept. Unfortunately we were late because of a motorway accident so we missed the social chat and even had to sit at a table on our own. That night we chatted to some other couples but never got to play as we were really unsure about how to make the first move.
So we went a second time, this time on a Saturday as we thought it would be much busier. But we found it a bit intimidating as most people seemed to know everyone else and being a little on the shy side, we kind of felt we shouldn't 'butt in' (purely our fault we know now). But we went through to the play room, had a good time in the jacuzzi and finally plucked up courage to say 'hi' to a nice couple that we subsequently had some fun with.
Our only problem is that we really only want to 'soft swing' and we kind of felt a bit like "second class citzens". OK, we know this is our fault as well :-)
But I guess what we've learned now is to kind of turn things on its head. Mrs NCIG made the point in the bar - "It's just like being in any pub or club when you look around isn't it". And so it was (well, ok, except for the wonderful lady in thigh-high boots, black PVC thong body and not much else ..... wooooo hoooo). But the point we decided that everyone was there pretty well for one thing - so in fact there is that common bond thing that makes groups of like-minded people work ok and be supportive with each other.
So we're going back a third time and if it's any help to anyone with the same dilemma, we've decided to just chat to as many people as we can - and sooner or later we'll find another couple who wants the same as us.
everyone of us as been in the same boat
even the so called regulars,reading all these posts,sums up to us
just chat they wont bite(we hope)
and the jacuzzi is a great icebreaker?