Socialising

4 Apr 2007

Theres been lots of Munches and Socials lately and many more coming up soon :happy: but ive noticed just how nervous some/alot of people seem to get about these.
Of course its understandable, my first social I was with Joe so was only a little nervous, the second time I went on my own and I was a quivering wreck, well until the vodka kicked in anyway lol

Socially I can mix with new people quite easily, but it can be a very daunting experience.
I think that we could all benefit from a bit of advice when it comes to attending these gatherings.
What advice could you give to someone whos feeling a little nervous/unsure about attending these events?
Regarding:
Social Etiquette
Handholders
Behaviour
The Effects Of Alcohol drinkies

Talking And Mixing With New People ( how to break the ice)
Something Else dunno

Or do you have a general question about these events that you would like to ask the Sh community without fear of looking a right numpty smile

If so ask away.
One piece of advice that I would give is to try to get to know a few people attending the gathering by pm/chatroom etc beforehand so that you'll have things in common to talk about when you meet.
Over to you
Louise xx

4 Apr 2007

I never really like sociallising in BIG groups, ive always prefered closely knit groups as they feel safer. Alcohol has always made that whole thing easier though wink

I can cope with large groups, i just prefer the smaller ones

4 Apr 2007

Go around staring at all the girls tits pretending you're really reading their name badges silly

hwoar:
works for me wink

4 Apr 2007

Quote by Sassy-Seren
Go around staring at all the girls tits pretending you're really reading their name badges hwoar:
works for me

I'm young and innocent enough not to pretend im looking at the badges :P

4 Apr 2007

Name badges! Is that usual? It hadn't occurred to me. What is a Handholder - someone to hold my hand?

4 Apr 2007

Quote by Philfuller
Name badges! Is that usual? It hadn't occurred to me. What is a Handholder - someone to hold my hand?

Hi Phil, name badges are usually for Munches but some socials have had them ( i think).
Handholders are members of SH that are a bit more familiar with the munches and socials who will take you under their wing, maybe meet up with you first, before the gathering, chat to you a bit, just to put you at ease.
Louise xx

4 Apr 2007

Quote by Sassy-Seren
Go around staring at all the girls tits pretending you're really reading their name badges hwoar:
works for me

So what happens when theres no badges dunno

Sassy says "ahh what the hell just look anyway" :giggle:
Louise xx

4 Apr 2007

Quote by louise_and_joe
Go around staring at all the girls tits pretending you're really reading their name badges hwoar:
works for me

So what happens when theres no badges dunno

You stare for a few minutes and then say *oh, your not wearing a badge*

4 Apr 2007

I have found that going to any pre-munch drinkies that usually get arranged helps take the nerves off a bit. Usually you gat chatting with others at this and make plans to meet in the hotel lobby to go the munch.
Now ( as a self confessed munch whore ) I am no longer nervous about going to the munches but I still go to the predrinks cos it's a fab way to catch up with others early on that you may get too busy to chat with later in the evening :twisted:
Having said all that I am down to go to a munch in London next month and looked at the list and know hardly anyone on it ( cos I usually go to the northern munches ) so does this make me a munch virgin all over again?

4 Apr 2007

I have never been nervous at meeting new people I love it but first munch was a bit surreal for me as its opened up a whole new world of new friends.
For me the thought of meeting people I have exchanged posts with is exciting, my only thing I would say I would be nervous about is I hope I dont dissapoint any one when they finally meet me in person.
Definately the pre munch drinkies

my last one I got chatting to a very nice lady who then tried to tell me everyones user name, which came in useful later, even if I do have a terrible memory for names. :giggle:
Abilene I'm going to so will see you there.

4 Apr 2007

best advice from me re: munches and socials?
don't listen to me!.. I'm rubbish!
lp

12 Apr 2007

Quote by LondonPlaything
best advice from me re: munches and socials?
don't listen to me!.. I'm rubbish!
lp

Will bear that in mind :thumbup: :giggle:
Louise xx

12 Apr 2007

Quote by louise_and_joe
best advice from me re: munches and socials?
don't listen to me!.. I'm rubbish!
lp

Will bear that in mind :thumbup: :giggle:
Louise xx
blast!
the old reverse psychology; *lets get everyone talking to the plaything* ploy isnt going to plan...
back to the lab... another cunning plan to be hatched
lp

12 Apr 2007

Is the badge thing optional?

12 Apr 2007

Quote by Rising
Is the badge thing optional?

Im not sure if the badges are optional at munches, although that is where they are mainly worn. Some people do keep their badges and use them at other functions too.
I will of course investigate and let you know.
Louise xx

12 Apr 2007

They have always put me off, I appreciate discretion etc, etc, but it always feels as though I would be attending some conference

12 Apr 2007

Quote by Rising
They have always put me off, I appreciate discretion etc, etc, but it always feels as though I would be attending some conference

Surely the point of going to a Munch/social is to get to know people. The badges have your username on them. So if your there anyway, where does the lack of discretion come into it dunno

Louise xx

12 Apr 2007

Quote by louise_and_joe
They have always put me off, I appreciate discretion etc, etc, but it always feels as though I would be attending some conference

Surely the point of going to a Munch/social is to get to know people. The badges have your username on them. So if your there anyway, where does the lack of discretion come into it dunno

Louise xx
Yeh.....I dont quite understand the need for discretion when attending a function specifically aimed at a group of people who all share the same interest :dunno:
You dont have to wear your badge but it kinda defeats the object of going if no-one knows who you are...

12 Apr 2007

I suppose wearing badges all the time, wearing a tie at work all week.........

12 Apr 2007

Quote by Rising
I suppose wearing badges all the time, wearing a tie at work all week.........

Yes but this badge is for your pleasure, not for work wink

Louise xx

12 Apr 2007

There is a new badge holder available from SH. Your username will only be visible when viewed by someone wearing polaroid sunglasses. cool

Quote by Rising
They have always put me off, I appreciate discretion etc, etc, but it always feels as though I would be attending some conference

I thought the point of badges at large events was to make it easier for yourself so you knew who everybody was without having to ask them.
Err excuse me, but who are you? :shock: confused

12 Apr 2007

I appreciate that attending an initial social can seem a little daunting, but I have found that people have been really friendly at all the socials/munches I have attended (even to us single men!). You just need to wander up to a group and say, "Hello, I'm ..........." and you're away. After all, you're just inviting them to have a conversation, not have sex with you!!
I think name badges are really useful, particularly for newbies who can find themselves in groups where people already know each other from previous socials.

12 Apr 2007

been to a few socials and all we would say to newbies just try to be your self treat it like you would any other night out. Try to mix as much as posible without been pushy, relax and enjoy it next one be a lot easier

12 Apr 2007

Having been to quite a few socials and munches, I still find myself getting nervous before hand, and I really dont know why. Everyone one I have been to has been a brilliant night out, with a bunch of very friendly people and we have always been made to feel very welcome.
For anyone who is thinking of going to one, I would say just go for it. You have nothing to lose. If you find they are not your think then you can always leave and not put your name down for another, but if you dont try them, you will never know.
I also think it is a good idea to explain to the organsier that you are nervous and they will arrange for either an hand-holder, or will come and meet you themeselves. If you dont tell them, they will just presume you are fine with it.
As an organsier, I always get VERY nervous, but that is mainly me worrying about anything I may have missed or forgotton. I worry if people will turn up, will the 'theme' be ok, will the DJ get a cold and cancel and then I go on to worry about every other think you could possibly think of lol

Have I ever had a need to worry? Never (unless Im organising)!
:lol:
Edit - badges - forgot to way, the reason we do badges is to make the newer members feel a little bit more at home. There is nothing worse than having to go round asking everyone their names, but if you can have a crafty perv, I mean look at their badges, then at least they know who they are talking to. One guy once refused to wear the badge, and considering all the work which goes into desiging, printing and putting them into the badge holders, I actually felt hurt by this, and was very disapointed he wouldnt join in with the fun.

12 Apr 2007

The only problem I had with a badge was feeling a bit silly going to the bar withcurvynhorny plastered across my left nipple ( I knew I shouldn't have gone topless lol

).
One of the reasons we changed it, amongst others.
j xx

12 Apr 2007

as total - and very nervous - newbies - this thread is excellent for us who want to attend a munch in the near future.
It's so very difficult for a newbie to break into any established group, so we'll be reading this thread again when we get back from our weekend away - and maybe asking more questions about what to do lol

13 Apr 2007

Quote by Rising
Is the badge thing optional?

Nope you got to wear your badge which says 'Rising' and we are all gonna be looking to see if you are :twisted:
DD bolt

13 Apr 2007

i hope the badges don't have pins in them, if so have they been risk assessed?
if not i hope theyre clipies they can have some fun uses :evil2:

13 Apr 2007

Quote by Darkmatt1976
i hope the badges don't have pins in them, if so have they been risk assessed?

They are pins, but I personally Risk Assess every nipple I fasten them to :twisted:

13 Apr 2007

Quote by A+D
It's so very difficult for a newbie to break into any established group

I know what you mean, but believe me, this is the easiest-to-break-into group you could possibly imagine! Everyone was a newbie once, and everyone knows how scary it is, so people make a big effort to look after newbies and make them feel comfortable and welcome.
Besides which, the very nature of the group means that it's in everyone's best interests to be welcoming to new people, because without newbies joining all the time, the 'established' group would run out of new people to meet, chat to, and potentially play with! So everyone is very welcoming to newbies.
My main tip would be to make the first move to start a conversation, even if it's scary - say hello to the person standing next to you, tell them you're new, ask them about socials they've been to before, get chatting. And keep doing it, it gets easier with every friendly response!
Welcome to the forums, by the way, A+D smile