Sods Law For Swingers

9 Oct 2005

PLC's Sods Law Of Swinging lol

Rule 1 Anyone that you fancy lives far away
Rule 2 Anyone that you really fancy lives really far away
Rule 3 Anyone that you really, really fancy lives really, really far away
Rule 4 When two couples meet, only three of the four will ever fancy each other
Rule 5 No other swingers that you wish to meet live in your home town
Rule 6 When two couples arrange to meet, the only dates that they are all free, one of the girls will be 'unavailable'
Rule 7 When you arrange any meet at short notice, you will have eaten garlic 10 minutes previously
Rule 8 When you get down to the nitty gritty, some-one has forgotten to bring condoms and there is only one between the four of you
Rule 9 Any meet that you arrange more than a month in advance, the baby-sitter will let you down five minutes before you are due to leave home
Rule 10 The one date that you have free next month, five different people want to meet you
Rule 11 The five dates that you had free last month, no-one wanted to meet you
Rule 12 24 hours before any meet, you get a spot on your bum
Rule 13 Despite the fact that you have kept your bits clean shaven for the last three years, you get a shaving rash on the night of any big meet
Rule 14 Any meet where one of the guys is hung like a donkey, the other femme will have a pussy like a polo mint
Rule 15 Any meet where one of the guys isn't hung like a donkey, the other femme will be big enough for two fists and a super-size rabbit all at once
Rule 16 If you are a non-smoker, the people you fancy always turn out to be smokers
Rule 17 If you arrange a social-only meet, all four of you will want to shag-on-sight
Rule 18 If you arrange a shag-on-first-meet meet, no-one will fancy each other
Rule 19 There are never enough towels, tissues or toilet rolls
Rule 20 Just as you all start playing, one of you will want to fart
Rule 21 (Girls only) No matter how well you wipe, you will leave a bit of toilet roll stuck to your bits

9 Oct 2005

Oh so true!!!
J & S

9 Oct 2005

Now aint that the truth :upset: :upset: :upset:

9 Oct 2005

:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
PLC You have got it spot on :thumbup:
Shireen
xxx
P.S. I dont recall that being rule No 1 in your house lol

9 Oct 2005

Quote by Shireen_Mids
:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
PLC You have got it spot on :thumbup:
Shireen
xxx
P.S. I dont recall that being rule No 1 in your house

Rule one in my house is not rule one in sods law! :lol:

9 Oct 2005

Quote by plc
PLC's Sods Law Of Swinging
Rule 20 Just as you all start playing, one of you will want to fart

Especially if you had garlic the previous evening.... phewwwww

9 Oct 2005

Ohhh thats sooo funny and sooo true....
but then I suppose a lot of what we are talking about is dating for couples.... and any couple that can remember when they were still trying to find people to date will realise that the same things applied..!!! Only with a host of other insecurities tooo!

9 Oct 2005

Quote by plc
Rule one in my house is not rule one in sods law!

:lol: I know :lol:
Shireen
xxx

9 Oct 2005

:laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: soo true thats sods law for ya :cry:

9 Oct 2005

Quote by plc
PLC's Sods Law Of Swinging
Rule 1 Anyone that you fancy lives far away
Rule 2 Anyone that you really fancy lives really far away
Rule 3 Anyone that you really, really fancy lives really, really far away
Rule 4 When two couples meet, only three of the four will ever fancy each other
Rule 5 No other swingers that you wish to meet live in your home town
Rule 6 When two couples arrange to meet, the only dates that they are all free, one of the girls will be 'unavailable'
Rule 7 When you arrange any meet at short notice, you will have eaten garlic 10 minutes previously
Rule 8 When you get down to the nitty gritty, some-one has forgotten to bring condoms and there is only one between the four of you
Rule 9 Any meet that you arrange more than a month in advance, the baby-sitter will let you down five minutes before you are due to leave home
Rule 10 The one date that you have free next month, five different people want to meet you
Rule 11 The five dates that you had free last month, no-one wanted to meet you
Rule 12 24 hours before any meet, you get a spot on your bum
Rule 13 Despite the fact that you have kept your bits clean shaven for the last three years, you get a shaving rash on the night of any big meet
Rule 14 Any meet where one of the guys is hung like a donkey, the other femme will have a pussy like a polo mint
Rule 15 Any meet where one of the guys isn't hung like a donkey, the other femme will be big enough for two fists and a super-size rabbit all at once
Rule 16 If you are a non-smoker, the people you fancy always turn out to be smokers
Rule 17 If you arrange a social-only meet, all four of you will want to shag-on-sight
Rule 18 If you arrange a shag-on-first-meet meet, no-one will fancy each other
Rule 19 There are never enough towels, tissues or toilet rolls
Rule 20 Just as you all start playing, one of you will want to fart

Ah, you're just too damn fussy :lol2:

9 Oct 2005

lol

12 Nov 2005

You missed one
How about that stray bit of loo roll that always ends up been left behind after you have wiped your bits never happens till you have a meet though does it.

12 Nov 2005

12 Nov 2005

Alcohol reduces get pissed, and go for it. lol

cc_7up

12 Nov 2005

:lol:
Don't that just about sum it all up? rolleyes

:rotflmao: :rotflmao:

12 Nov 2005

Just so much to learn when you are new to this :confused2:

12 Nov 2005

none of the above lol

have car, fuel paid for by work :lol:
condom machine issues free on the back seat.
A-Z in glove box which covers most of europe :eeek:
fussy no - selective yes.
it's nice meeting people off here that you would never have met if it was not for this site wink

and trying all types of new things - like drinking red wine.

12 Nov 2005

OMG - HOW TRUE, HOW TRUE
NOW I HAVE VISIONS OF PLC WITH A SHAVING RASH, BAD BREATH AND SUFFERING FROM FLATULENCE - NOT PRETTY lol

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

12 Nov 2005

I don't see why rule 10 or 17 are a problem or why 21 is girls only. Surely Scotland isn't the only place with hairy-arsed men?
:moon:

12 Nov 2005

Quote by plc
PLC's Sods Law Of Swinging
Rule 1 Anyone that you fancy lives far away
Rule 2 Anyone that you really fancy lives really far away
Rule 3 Anyone that you really, really fancy lives really, really far away
Rule 4 When two couples meet, only three of the four will ever fancy each other
Rule 5 No other swingers that you wish to meet live in your home town
Rule 6 When two couples arrange to meet, the only dates that they are all free, one of the girls will be 'unavailable'
Rule 7 When you arrange any meet at short notice, you will have eaten garlic 10 minutes previously
Rule 8 When you get down to the nitty gritty, some-one has forgotten to bring condoms and there is only one between the four of you
Rule 9 Any meet that you arrange more than a month in advance, the baby-sitter will let you down five minutes before you are due to leave home
Rule 10 The one date that you have free next month, five different people want to meet you
Rule 11 The five dates that you had free last month, no-one wanted to meet you
Rule 12 24 hours before any meet, you get a spot on your bum
Rule 13 Despite the fact that you have kept your bits clean shaven for the last three years, you get a shaving rash on the night of any big meet
Rule 14 Any meet where one of the guys is hung like a donkey, the other femme will have a pussy like a polo mint
Rule 15 Any meet where one of the guys isn't hung like a donkey, the other femme will be big enough for two fists and a super-size rabbit all at once
Rule 16 If you are a non-smoker, the people you fancy always turn out to be smokers
Rule 17 If you arrange a social-only meet, all four of you will want to shag-on-sight
Rule 18 If you arrange a shag-on-first-meet meet, no-one will fancy each other
Rule 19 There are never enough towels, tissues or toilet rolls
Rule 20 Just as you all start playing, one of you will want to fart
Rule 21 (Girls only) No matter how well you wipe, you will leave a bit of toilet roll stuck to your bits

Very good - very funny and of course very true!!
Catch U LateRon!

12 Nov 2005

Quote by skegnessswingers

NOW I HAVE VISIONS OF PLC WITH A SHAVING RASH, BAD BREATH AND SUFFERING FROM FLATULENCE - NOT PRETTY

Spooky or what??? lol
Too right it's spooky. I am only like that when I am doing impressions of a certain Skegness dwelling individual!

12 Nov 2005

Well whats bad for you lot on the mainland - is bloody awful for me in NI - but we battle on it's just a little more expensive to travel.

12 Nov 2005

I am feeling a real affinity with Number 1 lol.
The other thing that will happen to us though is the day you have planned a meet the ferries all get cancelled
lol

12 Nov 2005

I seem to get number 1, 2 & 3 a lot blink

:doh:

12 Nov 2005

Quote by oliveoyl
I am feeling a real affinity with Number 1 lol.
The other thing that will happen to us though is the day you have planned a meet the ferries all get cancelled

thanks for the support, sympathy and understanding - together we will make it better!!

12 Nov 2005

Quote by Colts23
I seem to get number 1, 2 & 3 a lot :doh:

Move!
:P

12 Nov 2005

true, true, oh so true though i wonder which number quite fits my experience.........arrange to meet a couple with my g/f and half an hour into the journey....she came on! we still went ahead for the meet though which turned out to be the only meet.