Q. How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes?
A. Both of them.
Q. Why did the man cross the road?
A. He heard the chicken was a slut.
Q. Why don't women blink during foreplay?
A. They don't have time.
Q. Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilise one egg?
A. They don't stop and ask for directions.
Q. What do men and sperm have in common?
A. They both have a one-in-a-million chance of becoming a human being.
Q. How does a man show that he is planning for the future?
A. He buys two cases of beer.
Q. What is the difference between men and government bonds?
A. The bonds mature.
Q. Why are blonde jokes so short?
A. So men can remember them.
Q. How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
A. We don't know; it has never happened.
Q. Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good-looking?
A. They already have boyfriends.
Q. What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
A. A widow.
Q. Why are married women heavier than single women?
A. Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed.
Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.
Q. What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in common?
A. They're married.
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Some Gender jokes
Three men were hiking through a forest when they came upon a large, raging violent river.
Needing to get on the other side, the first man prayed, "God, please give me the strength to cross the river."
Poof! God gave him big arms and strong legs and he was able to swim across in about 2 hours, having almost drowned twice.
After witnessing that, the second man prayed, "God, please give me strength and the tools to cross the river."
Poof! God gave him a rowboat and strong arms and strong legs and he was able to row across in about an hour after almost capsizing once.
Seeing what happened to the first two men, the third man prayed, "God, please give me the strength, the tools and the intelligence to cross
the river."
Poof! He was turned into a woman
She checked the map, hiked one hundred yards up stream and walked across the bridge
Dx
Needing to get on the other side, the first man prayed, "God, please give me the strength to cross the river."
Poof! God gave him big arms and strong legs and he was able to swim across in about 2 hours, having almost drowned twice.
After witnessing that, the second man prayed, "God, please give me strength and the tools to cross the river."
Poof! God gave him a rowboat and strong arms and strong legs and he was able to row across in about an hour after almost capsizing once.
Seeing what happened to the first two men, the third man prayed, "God, please give me the strength, the tools and the intelligence to cross
the river."
Poof! He was turned into a woman
She checked the map, hiked one hundred yards up stream and walked across the bridge
Dx
A prayer before bedtime.....
Lord, Before I lay down to sleep,
I pray for a man who is not a creep.
One whose handsome, smart and strong,
One whose willy is thick and long.
Oh send me a man who makes love to my mind,
and knows just what to say when I ask "how bigs is my behind?"
And as I kneel and pray by my bed,
I look at the wanker you sent me instead.
Amen
Tickled me!
Lord, Before I lay down to sleep,
I pray for a man who is not a creep.
One whose handsome, smart and strong,
One whose willy is thick and long.
Oh send me a man who makes love to my mind,
and knows just what to say when I ask "how bigs is my behind?"
And as I kneel and pray by my bed,
I look at the wanker you sent me instead.
Amen
Tickled me!
