*slips into the spa*
Damn, was I supposed to be wearing clothes? Oh well, too late now!
Master of Sex
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Sex God
*Easy refils tub*
Hey, cool. Bubbles.....
hang on the bubble thingy's not switched on..
:? :?
Who's a littletooooo relaxed?
Hey, cool. Bubbles.....
hang on the bubble thingy's not switched on..
:? :? Who's a littletooooo relaxed?
Errm, back again muckers. Look, bit embarrassed really, but, you haven't seen my 'Dozy Duck' have you? I'd better explain. 'Dozy Duck' is actually a goose-a Brecon Buff to be precise-but something went wrong in the poor litttle bugger's egg and he hatched out, well, a bit 'backward'. He can't use one leg-so he hops around like a disabled kangaroo. I was going to screw his neck but the Missus took pity on him and reared him by hand-bloody stupid thing to do-but the little chap grew up nestling in her cleavage. Well, ever since then he wants nothing other than to lay his beak in a nice pair of tits and quack and hiss like some sort of demented pervert. Thing is, whenever he sees a pair of tits he gets all excited, shits like a victim of Montezuma's Revenge, and hops off to bury his bill in aforementioned cleavage. Now, I always hated this scrawny little cripple, but the Missus and kids doted on him. Last night, being the worse for a gallon of scrumpy, I put the Missus' best bracelet on his neck and told him to Quack off, which he did, and I haven't seen him since. Now, that bracelet was her Great Granny's, and it's worth a fortune!! Has he approached any of you lovely ladies all a' loafing in the Spa? He's not dangerous-just affectionate-but he loves the taste of cleavage and I'm worried that he might appear from nowhere. I was on the computer one day, checking my PMs , and he hopped in. Well, he saw Dawn's avatar and started hissing and honking like a mad thing.
So, just beware...if you feel a bit of a 'nip' around your tits...it could be him. Please let me know, that bracelet is worth a fortune.....
So, just beware...if you feel a bit of a 'nip' around your tits...it could be him. Please let me know, that bracelet is worth a fortune.....
Sex God
Arti ....... mine aren't as big as dawns (Lucky wench :cry: )
But you won't get him back as I need him in the back garden .......as we have a very protective swan near by and he is causing a ruckuss with the locals that walk by , the bottom of the garden . He has even got himself in the local news....
But you won't get him back as I need him in the back garden .......as we have a very protective swan near by and he is causing a ruckuss with the locals that walk by , the bottom of the garden . He has even got himself in the local news....
Sex God
Quote by MISSCHIEF
Throws off her working week -
<<Picks up her working week. Sniffs it. Caresses it. Aaaah - no need for a stiff one - already in hand :!: >>
Corrie realises she has been asleep in spa for hours :shock: :shock: What the f***k has been going on ?what are all those strange animal smells?????? Arti have you been in here!!!! 
Sex God
Thats just right ................... Arti is getting his animals washed and groomed for free in the spa for free ... :shock:
I'm getting out now !!!.......... The stay was good and the ruminging was even better :twisted: but smelling worst than I went in will not make me sleep easy. :cry:
I'm getting out now !!!.......... The stay was good and the ruminging was even better :twisted: but smelling worst than I went in will not make me sleep easy. :cry:
Quote by mirth
FFS Arti... can't take you anywhere.... how many bitches do you have... sometime just come along on you own... animal less
Regards
Mirth
no pets
What's that Skip? Phone call from Uncle Arti? They won't let him take his pets to the Spa? Well! Fair go mate! That's lower than a Wombat's arse! What's that? Unle DJohn is going to leave the door open ...so that we can get all our mates in! BONZA! I'll get the message out to the Bush...rustle up a bit of support from all the wild creatures...those Swinging Poms will soon wish they hadn't messed with our family, eh Skip?
Right! Remember why we're marching on this Spa! We animals have been discriminated against for too long! We showed Farmer Jones that 'four legs are good: two legs bad'-now let's show that human they call Mirth. We can't stand idly by and watch our brothers and sisters (and nice old Mr Arti) be denied access to a basic animal right-a Spa! So, follow me comrades. They can take our lives but they cannae take our freedom!!...oops, wrong script there..sorry about that. Remember, no being nice to them, even if those wily female humans start petting you, saying 'aahhh' and making stupid cooing noises at the more cuddly among you-don't forget comrades, they probably had bacon for tea! What is more, they have already mesmerised Mr Arti's dog, Fly, with their unworldly spells and trickery. Be especially vigilant with the humans they call 'moderators'-they are the leaders and full of clever tricks. They have awesome power and can actually make people disappear!! And be very careful not to be fooled by the one disguised as a Lizard-he isn't really a Lizard at all, but is in fact a Wizard!! (all the animals gasp in terror) Yes, he can change himself into many different forms, all of them fiendishly clever. He is currently locked in supernatural combat with the human called Bilko: do not get caught in their deadly crossfire. They are both of another, higher, world, the like of which we cannot comprehend.
So, forward friends! On to victory! Tonight the Spa-tomorrow the GFZ!!! God bless our leader, Mr Arti!!!all the animals bellow, bark, whinny, grunt , stamp their feet and move off toward the Kingdom of Swinging Heaven...a large cloud of flies following them
:shock: :shock: :shock: Bloomin Hell :shock: :shock: :shock:
I pop in here for the first time, hoping for a bit of peace and tranquility to ease the tensions resulting from sharing a home with Kat for far too long, and what do I find ..........
Arti leading a menagerie mutiny :shock:
Arti my dearest man, what happened?? I always had you in mind as a gentle, peacable soul.
Kit
xxx
I pop in here for the first time, hoping for a bit of peace and tranquility to ease the tensions resulting from sharing a home with Kat for far too long, and what do I find ..........
Arti leading a menagerie mutiny :shock:
Arti my dearest man, what happened?? I always had you in mind as a gentle, peacable soul.
Kit
xxx
"Strap-ons, ................blow up Kens and Barbies, .................vibrators................." Jesus and all this talk when I am sitting in the hairdressers and it wasnt me talking what has happened to the world? I was even looking around to see if maybe Mrs FC, Misschief, Kit or Wilma were in there :shock:
Oh God what a night last night..............8 teenage girls up all night cooking food at , A total of 3 hours sleep and a handful of girls who think they are hated by that woman from the village.
Right wheres that nice bottle of Shiraz? mmmmmmm thats better. Well time to get relaxed and find who is going to join me in the spa. Seems quiet, bliss...........low lights, sensual smells, candles, dolpin music in the background.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Oh God what a night last night..............8 teenage girls up all night cooking food at , A total of 3 hours sleep and a handful of girls who think they are hated by that woman from the village.
Right wheres that nice bottle of Shiraz? mmmmmmm thats better. Well time to get relaxed and find who is going to join me in the spa. Seems quiet, bliss...........low lights, sensual smells, candles, dolpin music in the background.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Strapped down Corrie?
That is how I always imagined you.
Deja Vu?
lhk
Kat
That is how I always imagined you.
Deja Vu?
lhk
Kat
Quote by KitKat
Strapped down Corrie?
That is how I always imagined you.
Deja Vu?
lhk
Kat
Strapped down :shock: :shock: :shock: what meeeeeeee buddy hell KitKat what have they been feeding you in the GFZ. Girls where are you????
Sure I was talking about strap ons
Sex God
Help is at hand Corrie...... Kat please vacate the premises for a girlie chat....
Corrie Boys are worse at talking and food in my senario, Girls no probs, they just wear themseves out.
Corrie Boys are worse at talking and food in my senario, Girls no probs, they just wear themseves out.
Oh Mrs FC glad you are here. Such a day! 3 hours in the hairdressers and all the talk was about things discussed openly in swinging heaven. God I didnt want to leave but glad to relax in here tonight. Think I will pop into GFZ to get top up on drinks though as men are serving tonight!!!!!!!!
see what happens when you're a quiet, shy, unassuming sort of person like me ?????? ....
i fall asleep in the jacuzzi ... i don't get a drink, arti lets loose a menagerie, the water gets changed, people come and go :doh: ........ mayhem all round and everyone left me asleep in the jacuzzi
I just hope i wasn't snoring 
Ive just crawled out of the water looking like a wrinkled prune :grin: ....... time to get the iron and and iron away the wrinkles :grin:
Lucy xxxx
i fall asleep in the jacuzzi ... i don't get a drink, arti lets loose a menagerie, the water gets changed, people come and go :doh: ........ mayhem all round and everyone left me asleep in the jacuzzi
I just hope i wasn't snoring
Ive just crawled out of the water looking like a wrinkled prune :grin: ....... time to get the iron and and iron away the wrinkles :grin:
Lucy xxxx
