Standards

10 Oct 2007

Quote by anais

As a new member I was surprised at the number of times self appointed guardians of the forum took it upon themselves to monitor posts where there is a chance of a confrontation. Anything that could be regarded as worth a verbal punch up is generally highlighted immediately.
Previous posts are investigated and questions posed to the offending poster. I know that I am not the only person that feels that there is a system in place that does not positively encourage new members. I know that precautions have to be taken but I feel a balance should be reached, you can be too defensive.
I have only been here a very short time and in fairness didn't understand the swinging scene or the people involved in it. I have learned enough to know that I will not find what I am looking for here though appreciate the pleasure that this community offers some.
So, I’ll get me coat. Do not condemn the judgement of others because it differs from your own. You might both be wrong.
Eltigre

I do think he has a point here.
The number of threads I go through that turn a little nasty or confrontational are quite shockingly high.
Its more than just a difference of opinion SOMETIMES, and the times that it is, it is USUALLY the same people doing the dissection of the post.
People have different opinions and that is great, it is what makes us individuals and keeps things interesting, though I do think (IMHO) there are a few people who use that little word "INTERPRETATION" to their own advantage to justify having a "sly dig".
I didn't see anything wrong in his original post really.
Keep posting Eltigre :thumbup:
I agree with your all your posts here Srne.... :smile:
Eltigre, keep with the programme, it can/does get better :smile:
xanaisx
I agree to a certain degree with SRNE but what you can't see are the nasty PM's which are very much uncalled for.

10 Oct 2007

Quote by jaymar

As a new member I was surprised at the number of times self appointed guardians of the forum took it upon themselves to monitor posts where there is a chance of a confrontation. Anything that could be regarded as worth a verbal punch up is generally highlighted immediately.
Previous posts are investigated and questions posed to the offending poster. I know that I am not the only person that feels that there is a system in place that does not positively encourage new members. I know that precautions have to be taken but I feel a balance should be reached, you can be too defensive.
I have only been here a very short time and in fairness didn't understand the swinging scene or the people involved in it. I have learned enough to know that I will not find what I am looking for here though appreciate the pleasure that this community offers some.
So, I’ll get me coat. Do not condemn the judgement of others because it differs from your own. You might both be wrong.
Eltigre

I do think he has a point here.
The number of threads I go through that turn a little nasty or confrontational are quite shockingly high.
Its more than just a difference of opinion SOMETIMES, and the times that it is, it is USUALLY the same people doing the dissection of the post.
People have different opinions and that is great, it is what makes us individuals and keeps things interesting, though I do think (IMHO) there are a few people who use that little word "INTERPRETATION" to their own advantage to justify having a "sly dig".
I didn't see anything wrong in his original post really.
Keep posting Eltigre :thumbup:
I agree with your all your posts here Srne.... :smile:
Eltigre, keep with the programme, it can/does get better :smile:
xanaisx
I agree to a certain degree with SRNE but what you can't see are the nasty PM's which are very much uncalled for.
If you haven't already done so, have a word with one of the moderators smile

:)

10 Oct 2007

So, my honesty is in question again.....I have terminated my membership here but it looks like I will still be a member until my month is up.
I invite a moderator into this situation. To review the thread, consider my posts and confirm that the PM sent to Jaymar below is the complete and was not intended to add fuel to the flames.
jaymar
why do you find it hard to believe that I am an honest new member? Just because in a short time I have reached this conclusion and have voiced my opinion shouldn't be a reason for yet more suspicion. Does it make it easier for you to believe that I am a troll or previous member or is it indicative of the current climate? You were wrong about what I said about cleanliness and you are wrong now and to be honest none of us likes to be told what we are thinking. The reason for me going is that I do not like to be seen to be causing trouble, I don‘t enjoy conflict.
Stick by your mate. I might even do the same if the situation were reversed but if I was being honest I would have to acknowledge that seems to enjoy an established controlling position here. I am a decent bloke and might have got on well with some of the members if given a chance to get past the inquisition but life’s too short.
This was the one and only PM I have sent you. Who is the liar? I don't consider it to be nasty and feel that you edited it to suit your purposes.
If you had read my posts you would have noticed that I did reply to you about cleanliness with yet another explanation!
Eltigre

10 Oct 2007

Quote by Eltigre
So, my honesty is in question again.....I have terminated my membership here but it looks like I will still be a member until my month is up.
I invite a moderator into this situation. To review the thread, consider my posts and confirm that the PM sent to Jaymar below is the complete and was not intended to add fuel to the flames.
jaymar
why do you find it hard to believe that I am an honest new member? Just because in a short time I have reached this conclusion and have voiced my opinion shouldn't be a reason for yet more suspicion. Does it make it easier for you to believe that I am a troll or previous member or is it indicative of the current climate? You were wrong about what I said about cleanliness and you are wrong now and to be honest none of us likes to be told what we are thinking. The reason for me going is that I do not like to be seen to be causing trouble, I don‘t enjoy conflict.
Stick by your mate. I might even do the same if the situation were reversed but if I was being honest I would have to acknowledge that seems to enjoy an established controlling position here. I am a decent bloke and might have got on well with some of the members if given a chance to get past the inquisition but life’s too short.
I don't consider it to be nasty and feel that you edited it to suit your purposes.
If you had read my posts you would have noticed that I did reply to you about cleanliness with yet another explanation!
Eltigre

I just adapted it to save your embarassment, it's your right to post the whole thing if you want to - it's ok I've saved the original for verification if need be.

10 Oct 2007

Quote by jaymar
So, my honesty is in question again.....I have terminated my membership here but it looks like I will still be a member until my month is up.
I invite a moderator into this situation. To review the thread, consider my posts and confirm that the PM sent to Jaymar below is the complete and was not intended to add fuel to the flames.
jaymar
why do you find it hard to believe that I am an honest new member? Just because in a short time I have reached this conclusion and have voiced my opinion shouldn't be a reason for yet more suspicion. Does it make it easier for you to believe that I am a troll or previous member or is it indicative of the current climate? You were wrong about what I said about cleanliness and you are wrong now and to be honest none of us likes to be told what we are thinking. The reason for me going is that I do not like to be seen to be causing trouble, I don‘t enjoy conflict.
Stick by your mate. I might even do the same if the situation were reversed but if I was being honest I would have to acknowledge that seems to enjoy an established controlling position here. I am a decent bloke and might have got on well with some of the members if given a chance to get past the inquisition but life’s too short.
I don't consider it to be nasty and feel that you edited it to suit your purposes.
If you had read my posts you would have noticed that I did reply to you about cleanliness with yet another explanation!
Eltigre

I just adapted it to save your embarassment, it's your right to post the whole thing if you want to - it's ok I've saved the original for verification if need be.
That is the original!
I would like a mod to confirm this to be the one and only original PM I sent to jaymar, please!

10 Oct 2007

A mod won't be able to confirm that. It's a PM. They can't look at them without knowing passwords. I'd say that there's a very good chance that this thread has been read by at least one of the mods and will more than likely be looked at again when they come on site at some point. They aren't here all the time.

10 Oct 2007

Well, I am prepared to let them have mine!
Eltigre
PS could a moderator please contact me so I can pass on my password to confirm I am telling the truth.

10 Oct 2007

Quote by Eltigre
So, my honesty is in question again.....I have terminated my membership here but it looks like I will still be a member until my month is up.
I invite a moderator into this situation. To review the thread, consider my posts and confirm that the PM sent to Jaymar below is the complete and was not intended to add fuel to the flames.
jaymar
why do you find it hard to believe that I am an honest new member? Just because in a short time I have reached this conclusion and have voiced my opinion shouldn't be a reason for yet more suspicion. Does it make it easier for you to believe that I am a troll or previous member or is it indicative of the current climate? You were wrong about what I said about cleanliness and you are wrong now and to be honest none of us likes to be told what we are thinking. The reason for me going is that I do not like to be seen to be causing trouble, I don‘t enjoy conflict.
Stick by your mate. I might even do the same if the situation were reversed but if I was being honest I would have to acknowledge that seems to enjoy an established controlling position here. I am a decent bloke and might have got on well with some of the members if given a chance to get past the inquisition but life’s too short.
I don't consider it to be nasty and feel that you edited it to suit your purposes.
If you had read my posts you would have noticed that I did reply to you about cleanliness with yet another explanation!
Eltigre

I just adapted it to save your embarassment, it's your right to post the whole thing if you want to - it's ok I've saved the original for verification if need be.
That is the original!
I would like a mod to confirm this to be the one and only original PM I sent to jaymar, please!
Oh for gods sake Eltigre I haven't said it ISN'T the orginal.. I simply said I adapted the first one to SAVE YOUR EMBARASSMENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!and had kept the original to prove that!
mad

:x :x If you're leaving then do so gracefully and stop hanging around causing more trouble, if not then we'll meet again in a new thread and start over a fresh.
In the meantime, I'm so out of here.

10 Oct 2007

I am glad to see the whole of Eltigre's pm, because I had visions of something really terrible. So I'm glad to see the whole of it.

10 Oct 2007

Eltigre- you seem hell bent on defending your corner. Fine, thats your perogative- despite oh-so-may people telling you that in their opinion you have overreacted and misread the situation. Something appears to have coloured your opinion of FB, and for the life of me I can't see what there is in this thread to do so.
However, what I have written in this thread is on the merits of this thread. I don't think anyone here has simply been "sticking up for their mates." Most of us here are intelligent enough to be impartial.
Stay, go, I really couldn't give a flying feck, TBH.
However, I'm a nice person and as such would dearly love you to take this advice on board. Trying to make yourself look like you're the victim of a campaign is doing nothing but make you look silly- we can all read!
Winchy, bowing out gracefully.

10 Oct 2007

Quote by Cherrytree
I am glad to see the whole of Eltigre's pm, because I had visions of something really terrible. So I'm glad to see the whole of it.

Erm excuse me, what is 'nasty' to one is not always nasty to another, and if a person is feeling considerably vulnerable right now, that PM could well have tipped them over the egde, however you construe it, it wasn't welcomed.
I'm surprised at you, really I am, always one to be fair surely you can see an unwelcomed PM however anyone regards it is not fair.
See what I mean, this man by whatever means has attempted to get all the posters wound up, embroiled in each other's posts and causing a whole heap of bother.
I don't talk about private things because I'm private, but perhaps with things going on in my life at the moment, the PM to me at this moment in time was IMO nasty and uncalled for.. I was wholeheartedly trying to help him from the start (and other threads).
I'm not replying any more to this thread and hope it is locked.

10 Oct 2007

My use of the PM system was to calm not inflame.
I apologise for any upset caused either here or on PM. It was never my intention to cause hurt but I will defend myself. I was happy to walk away some time ago and now will without further comment.

10 Oct 2007

My post was not meant to be an attack on anyone at all.
I do feel I am a fair person, and when I say I had visions of something terrible, yes I did.
All I was saying, is that when I read that his post was edited, I assumed it was full of swear words, or threats, or anything. So I was glad to see it wasn't like that.
I'm cetainly NOT saying anything about your feelings about his pm at all, I would never take it upon myself to do that.
Pals?

10 Oct 2007

All you have to do is PM a Mod - the ones in green like me (but then you can't see me most of the time).
wave

I'm going to lock this thread because I haven't read it but had two complaints about it. Once I've read it AND had some more PMs from those who feel inflammed then I may open it again.
Chillin' time folks.
And thanks for the two people who PMd me.
PS in edit. Read it :sleeping: could only see 1 person getting knickers in twist, taking things out of proportion and inflamming matters. So...unless that one person PMs me I intend to let sleeping trolls lie.
rolleyes