I'm having my first meet this week and and am really looking forward to it.
I will be using a condom etc for intercourse but has anyone got advice to being sure I'm safe when doing oral, kissing and just usual foreplay activities.
My Partner i'm meeting has assured me they are clean but she does have sex with other men.
Advice please
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STD's
never ever take assurances that 'they're clean' - come on, they're going to say that, arnt they 
here's a good link, have a read:
You cant eliminate all risks - but you can minimise them, and in my book that shows more respect for the people you're playing with than 'ohh its ok, i'm definately 100% clean, honest'
As far as kissing goes - coldsores are a no no - they're caused by a strain of the herpes virus... but if you then give oral after kissing someone with a coldsore, it increases the risk of transferring the virus to genitals where it 'becomes' herpes.
general rule of thumb is to minimise the exchange of bodily fluids - you'd need to swallow a serious amount of saliva when kissing for there to be a risk .... but during forplay, its things like open sores, cuts, grazes - the transfer of blood, particularly in relation to HIV & hepititis that carries the most risk, other than not using a condom
here's a good link, have a read:
You cant eliminate all risks - but you can minimise them, and in my book that shows more respect for the people you're playing with than 'ohh its ok, i'm definately 100% clean, honest'
As far as kissing goes - coldsores are a no no - they're caused by a strain of the herpes virus... but if you then give oral after kissing someone with a coldsore, it increases the risk of transferring the virus to genitals where it 'becomes' herpes.
general rule of thumb is to minimise the exchange of bodily fluids - you'd need to swallow a serious amount of saliva when kissing for there to be a risk .... but during forplay, its things like open sores, cuts, grazes - the transfer of blood, particularly in relation to HIV & hepititis that carries the most risk, other than not using a condom
If there are any activities you are not happy with - Just do don't it!
For your own piece of mind & the safety of others you play with make yourself familiar with your local - or not so local G.U.M. Clinic
There gonna be risks in almost anything we do in life... just judge yourself on how you handle them & be seen to be responsible by minimising them.
For your own piece of mind & the safety of others you play with make yourself familiar with your local - or not so local G.U.M. Clinic
There gonna be risks in almost anything we do in life... just judge yourself on how you handle them & be seen to be responsible by minimising them.
Sex God
I'm guessing that's a dam and it's showing dental bits? 
Sex God
Quote by freimation
hands upif you think this guys got a meet this week just read his profile nothing there me thinks he's put this post up to get some exposure
And other people don't do that, of course, do they?
Sex God
Quote by Phil_jill
Yes I have a wife and yes I do have a meet and yes I have my advert in wrong section. SORRY.
But I am after genuine advice.
How many other people on here say truthful genuine statements I wonder
Well I know I do - people get caught out when they tell lies. Don't tar everyone with the same brush.
Sex God
Quote by redpantherman
I'm guessing that's a dam and it's showing dental bits?
But why the long face? :shock:
'Cause I'm a feckin' horse!!
Sex God
Quote by the_Laird
'Cause I'm a feckin' horse!!
Hung like one? :twisted:
Sex God
Ohh
FB and I want to have a look
:giggle:
FB and I want to have a look
:giggle:
Sex God
Quote by Freckledbird
'Cause I'm a feckin' horse!!
Hung like one? :twisted:
Quote by Sarah
Ohh
FB and I want to have a look
:giggle:
:wink: 
Orgasminator
Personally in response to the OP....
Do what you feel comfortable with, if you are so worried about catching something then perhaps you should re-evaluate playing with other sexual partners or for the ultimate safe-sexual experience should just engage in mutual self masturbation while watching each other do the same to themselves or abstain totally!
I'm sorry but the whole safe/not safe argument is almost a mute point as nothing is "safe sex" only safer!!!!! Even using a condom, if you look closely while you may be preventing your ejaculate and/or pre-cum entering a womans vagina her lubrication often ends up on the base of the penis and balls which is potentially a source of infection if you're that worried about it and also includes infections that can be passed via contact and not fluid such as genital warts!!!!!
While I would not recomend shagging hundreds or thousands of people without a condom there is actually a low incedence of infection percentage wise between an infected person, with X STD, and a non-infected person.... The only true safe sex is to have sex with a person that has had a full STD markup 3 months after sleeping with the last person they had sex with and came up negative in all the tests.
The problem however with percentages is that if the chances of catching AIDS from an infected partner is 1/1000 then you could be unlucky and get it on the first time you have sex, or be lucky and not get it till the 1000 time, or even luckier you could have sex a million times with the same infected patner(s) and not become infected while a thousand other people do to create the percentage statistic!
Same with condoms in general being 98% effective in preventing pregnancies.... if you're unlucky and you dont want a pregnancy then you could create a baby the first time, or statistically up to the 98th time you have sex using a condom or never because others have become pregnant while you and your partner can have sex hundreds of thousands of times without becoming pregnant.
I do find it a bit funny (being cynical here) that while swingers will generally use a condom as soon as someone becomes a "partner" or regular play person(s) they stop using them without a full STD work up of everyone involved or if they are single, or not, and meet someone in a non-swinging environment give up using condoms as "they are not swinging" oh well.....
In summary..... Using condoms is a good thing. If you know and trust your sexual partner(s) fidelity towards yourself and know they are clean via a STD workup (or STI as they are now termed) then they are not required but even then there is a potential chance of one or both or you or all of your partners playing with others without your knowledge... and seeing as DNA testing is starting to show that potentially 20%+ of children born within marrage are not of the partnered "father of the marrage" it does tend to lend itself to the fact that a lot of people are not being honest and are shagging around both the husbands and wives of couples.... so add that into the STD chances mix!
Jon Xx
Do what you feel comfortable with, if you are so worried about catching something then perhaps you should re-evaluate playing with other sexual partners or for the ultimate safe-sexual experience should just engage in mutual self masturbation while watching each other do the same to themselves or abstain totally!
I'm sorry but the whole safe/not safe argument is almost a mute point as nothing is "safe sex" only safer!!!!! Even using a condom, if you look closely while you may be preventing your ejaculate and/or pre-cum entering a womans vagina her lubrication often ends up on the base of the penis and balls which is potentially a source of infection if you're that worried about it and also includes infections that can be passed via contact and not fluid such as genital warts!!!!!
While I would not recomend shagging hundreds or thousands of people without a condom there is actually a low incedence of infection percentage wise between an infected person, with X STD, and a non-infected person.... The only true safe sex is to have sex with a person that has had a full STD markup 3 months after sleeping with the last person they had sex with and came up negative in all the tests.
The problem however with percentages is that if the chances of catching AIDS from an infected partner is 1/1000 then you could be unlucky and get it on the first time you have sex, or be lucky and not get it till the 1000 time, or even luckier you could have sex a million times with the same infected patner(s) and not become infected while a thousand other people do to create the percentage statistic!
Same with condoms in general being 98% effective in preventing pregnancies.... if you're unlucky and you dont want a pregnancy then you could create a baby the first time, or statistically up to the 98th time you have sex using a condom or never because others have become pregnant while you and your partner can have sex hundreds of thousands of times without becoming pregnant.
I do find it a bit funny (being cynical here) that while swingers will generally use a condom as soon as someone becomes a "partner" or regular play person(s) they stop using them without a full STD work up of everyone involved or if they are single, or not, and meet someone in a non-swinging environment give up using condoms as "they are not swinging" oh well.....
In summary..... Using condoms is a good thing. If you know and trust your sexual partner(s) fidelity towards yourself and know they are clean via a STD workup (or STI as they are now termed) then they are not required but even then there is a potential chance of one or both or you or all of your partners playing with others without your knowledge... and seeing as DNA testing is starting to show that potentially 20%+ of children born within marrage are not of the partnered "father of the marrage" it does tend to lend itself to the fact that a lot of people are not being honest and are shagging around both the husbands and wives of couples.... so add that into the STD chances mix!
Jon Xx
)
Can I ask if anyone actually uses these things on the swinging scene?? Although I know about them and that they are recommended, I've never met a woman on the gay scene who has ever used one, they certainly aren't provided like condoms and lube are for the gay guys in bars etc.
I have only ever held one once and it looked like a lump of a marigold glove (it was purple :shock:
Quote by Sassy-Seren
Dental dams should be used for oral sex with a woman.
Can I ask if anyone actually uses these things on the swinging scene?? Although I know about them and that they are recommended, I've never met a woman on the gay scene who has ever used one, they certainly aren't provided like condoms and lube are for the gay guys in bars etc.
I have only ever held one once and it looked like a lump of a marigold glove (it was purple :shock:
Ooo Its a lovely thought... licking a plasic bag! (dental dams)
Know of them, seen them in the shops, never seen one in a meet.... get to know the people you may be playing with, take time and if you don't feel right about them in anyway don't do anything, there is always a risk.. but in reality you have more risk of crashing the car on the way that catching something really serious. Life is full of risks, if it worries people that much stop playing.
Who said this was fun...... ??
Mike xx
Know of them, seen them in the shops, never seen one in a meet.... get to know the people you may be playing with, take time and if you don't feel right about them in anyway don't do anything, there is always a risk.. but in reality you have more risk of crashing the car on the way that catching something really serious. Life is full of risks, if it worries people that much stop playing.
Who said this was fun...... ??
Mike xx
Sex God
Quote by lavabubble
)Dental dams should be used for oral sex with a woman.
Can I ask if anyone actually uses these things on the swinging scene?? Although I know about them and that they are recommended, I've never met a woman on the gay scene who has ever used one, they certainly aren't provided like condoms and lube are for the gay guys in bars etc.
i've used one only once. the sensations was somewhat akin to washing up wearing boxing gloves. ;)
i've been asked not to perform oral sex in a club, by a couple who were only into soft swing! fair play to 'em, but i was kind of at a loss what i could do? decided that was a bit beyond my sexual repertoire?
;)as jon said, there's no such thing as safe sex. only safer sex. i would always expect a condom, but i'd think nothing of oral sex either way. weighing up the risks, oral sex is a risk i can live with. nowt a test and dose of anti-biotics won't fix, unless we're talking HIV, but again, i weigh up the risk case by case, based on the possibility of transmission through safe ((( -er ))) sex? that seems miniscule, so i take that risk? :?
neil x x x ;)
