Hi guys,
I dont post a lot in the forum but I reeling after last night, I guess I should have heeded the warning signs.
I was messaging a couple back and forth as they wanted to meet in central London. There were some alarm bells, namely it was the first time I'd seen a profile with a bad rep and he asked me to text my age and what I was into at the meeting time, now surely they either agree to meet you or not so I don't see why this was necessary. Anyway slightly dubious I sent one final mail asking is this meeting definitely confirmed to which they replied yes. Due to being let down before, I will normally only meet when Im given a confirmed address and time and I'll show up as agreed. However as they were getting a hotel room I gave them the benefit of the doubt.
So after making my way into London from Kent in terrible weather I text at 2130, he replied 2230, suspicious I asked for the location now and I would be there at 2230, he just replied ok. 2230 comes and goes and now there is no answer to my texts or calls. I wait till 2300 and reluctantly trudge home.
Finally at midnight still on my way home I get a text saying they had broken down on the motorway. Now as a driver myself I know these things happen but this does not make sense. If they text at 2130 saying 1 hour then they must have been on the motorway, now given the nearest motorway to central London is 45min - hour surely they would not have planned to meet in 1 hours time.
Sorry for the long rant but I hate being messed around like that and it hasn't happened in a long time but its this type of rubbish that messes it up for everyone else.
Hi fellow forumite, you are welcome to come here to rant any time you wish, and I'm sorry you have been messed around. Being stood up never bodes well, and sometimes a person is liable to just chicken out, and sometimes they don't handle the situation in a straightforward and honest manner either.
There are some useful guidelines for meeting people, or for judging whether they might be genuine, and you've come to the right place to hear about them. I'm sure there will be many more experienced than myself who will add some words of wisdom to your thread.
The first one in anyones book must be to confirm that the couple is really a couple. We mention this time and time again, so sorry for repeating. Very often it's a guy pretending to be a couple in order to initiate communication....I presume he's getting off on the chat.
The nature of the chat is often a giveaway.....if you are asked 101 questions, like for example "what will you do with her when we meet?", you are almost certainly chatting to some guy who's jerking off in response.
I guess there might be couples too who just like the dirty banter exchanges, but that doesn't excuse them from just changing their minds and not advising you, in fact anyone should've done that.
If you are a single guy then I recommend you make the effort to go to a social and meet other members. You might also consider going to a club, but that's a whole different scenario. Best of luck.
Hi thanks for you advice. I do meet great people here regular, I guess I just dropped my guard slightly last night. I just hope my post above helps others spot time wasters and saves them a wasted journey. If you do get any alarms bells ringing I guess its best to decline the meet as politely as possible.
I can appreciate how frustrating it must be and in fairness many things can happen on the way to a meet. Thankfully these type of let-downs are infrequent, but it was one of the drivers behind the development of the Shrep system, and is the specific reason that the Meet Rep part was built.
Shrep can't guarantee you won't get let down on a meet, but it can be used to provide some level of assurance if used properly:
Insist on the other person having their Shrep profile active. If they refuse, ask yourself why.
Check their overall Shrep rating. Are they well known on the site? Do they have mainly positive or negative feedback?
Use the Shrep meet option to arrange the meet. That way you get to provide feedback - good or bad - to let other people know if they were good to their word or if they messed you around.
Obviously it doesn't replace the need to apply common sense, but Shrep can be used to make an informed decision about meeting someone.
We got let down twice in 2 days by the same couple, first night they were coming to us, similar thing lots of text etc, the difference was we had seen these two on cam looked a lovely couple, Thankfully being at home we didn't endure the the drive etc that you did. said they had been let down by the sitter, but why wait until the next morning to text and not reply when we had sent a text or two making sure they were ok, as they could have had an accident or anything, they invited us to there place that night, 30 minutes before setting off they text saying their child had been ill all day, if thats the case why wait until 30 minutes before.
People just don't think, people have lack of respect for others time and situations.
Personally we try and give as much notice as possible if anything to do with out meet changes.
Better luck next time, its a shame there are so many time wasters in the swinging world, more people need to be honest and also make sure both partner are involved and boundaries etc.
Why are you all just sending texts? You have their number, why not speak to them?
Its still possible to be let down or set up, by either the feckless or the devious. The thing is to have an alternative to go onto, so you can still have fun. Just don't leave yourself stranded.
Hi guys,
I dont post a lot in the forum but I reeling after last night, I guess I should have heeded the warning signs.
I was messaging a couple back and forth as they wanted to meet in central London. There were some alarm bells, namely it was the first time I'd seen a profile with a bad rep and he asked me to text my age and what I was into at the meeting time, now surely they either agree to meet you or not so I don't see why this was necessary. Anyway slightly dubious I sent one final mail asking is this meeting definitely confirmed to which they replied yes. Due to being let down before, I will normally only meet when Im given a confirmed address and time and I'll show up as agreed. However as they were getting a hotel room I gave them the benefit of the doubt.
So after making my way into London from Kent in terrible weather I text at 2130, he replied 2230, suspicious I asked for the location now and I would be there at 2230, he just replied ok. 2230 comes and goes and now there is no answer to my texts or calls. I wait till 2300 and reluctantly trudge home.
Finally at midnight still on my way home I get a text saying they had broken down on the motorway. Now as a driver myself I know these things happen but this does not make sense. If they text at 2130 saying 1 hour then they must have been on the motorway, now given the nearest motorway to central London is 45min - hour surely they would not have planned to meet in 1 hours time.
i must say, i am bemused by some of the profiles that i have read reflecting the comments above. i am sure there must be on some occasions extenuating circumstances to a no must be my naivety or something, but i have read a number of profiles that talk about men pretending to be women, men pretnding they are couples, it is quite bizzare!. Perhaps there should be a group called. I like to pretend i am going to meet you!
There are also an abundance of genuine people on here who don't use SHrep....
I am sure I know the add. If you see one for a meet at a certain Euston hotel there is no way that is a gangbang. The reception is heavily manned and right at the entrance to the corridor leading to the rooms. You will not get 6-8 guys passed reception without questions being asked.
I know; I have been there and drank a beer while waiting, and waiting and. . . . . . . .
It is not just me that has been let down, he did the same to two mates of mine.
He will suck you into text roleplay and loves the sub cuck scene. the only bit I don't understand is how he has some positive feedback; are they also fantacists?
The excuses I have had were:-
broken down.
she wasn't in the mood.
daughter ill.
emergency at work.
Everytime the texts just stopped dead about 45mins before the meeting was due.
On each occasion I had a back-up plan - there are some dogging spots not too far away and on a couple of the nights I did have a great time but I also learnt a lesson.
I have to be honest and say I cant believe you went four times? On the fourth time after being let down three times already and them going silent on you three times you still thought this might work out?
Well, that's me just too trusting and didn't follow the old Russian proverb: "fool me once shame on you; fool me twice shame on me." note that in Russia you only get one chance!
Though with so many good spots in London being let down didn't really matter. Though it's the principle that is the real issue.
Also I still don't understand how this guys has good Shrep and some people have, apparently, seen them as a couple on cam!
perhaps she doesn't know some of the stuff he gets up to or what his real fantasies are!
We were let down a couple of times so now tend to arrange any meets at a club, that way, if they don't turn up what does it matter, we just enjoy the club without them and we have not wasted any time. The bonus is that it is their loss at the end of the day.
I can see nothing else of value coming from this thread, and it's getting close to a name and shame scenario, so I'm locking it. Any issues, drop me a PM.
