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Strange topic for this site, but...

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I know i'm gonna get some funny looks, but without anyone impartial to discuss this with here, thought i'd come to he one place i could get honest opinions on lifes problems. Will leave thread to be developed but, essentially, how do you know when ur in love? and how do you make the boy/girlfriend transistion.
answers on a postcard to the usual address...
Transition to ...........................................?
Quote by wulf_angel
how do you know when ur in love?

When your thoughts about a person are primarily about how they make you feel, that could be infatuation.
When your thoughts are primarily about how you want them to feel, that could be love. And I don't mean getting pleasure from giving pleasure, that's a nice bonus but it's not what I'm talking about - I mean selflessly giving pleasure for its own sake.
The above isn't a definition of love, it's just one manifestation of love among countless manifestations. I use it only to illustrate a possible way of distinguishing between loving someone and merely thinking that you do.
Then of course there's the fact that you can love someone without actually being "in love", and again infatuation often confuses the issue: I can love my friend without being infatuated, and vice versa. Or I can become infatuated with someone I love, and vice versa.
Being "in love" seems to involve something like a combination of love and infatuation, but with something else, something more profound than how you feel about each other and how you make each other feel on the conscious level. When the other person stops being a completely "other person" and you each become a part of the other, when being with that person is as natural to you as breathing, when the bond between you goes beyond the physical, mental, and emotional and becomes embedded in the core of what is essentially "you" (call it spiritual if you like), then I think you're in love.
and how do you make the boy/girlfriend transistion.

I'm not sure I understand the question. If you're asking at what point you become an "item", I think it's when you've discussed it and mutually agreed that that is what you are.
Oh my head hurts !!!!!!!!!!!
Quote by jdms
Oh my head hurts !!!!!!!!!!!

That's lust. Different thing entirely.
Quote by wulf_angel
how do you know when ur in love?

Only speaking for myself...........
Standing, facing your partner and hold the other persons head in your hands, look deep into their eyes, if you melt / knees buckle / have an orgasm, then IMO you're in love.
I've had 2 out of 3, just hoping the 3rd happens one day lol
How about when you have been married for 8yrs with 2 kids, you've both put on some weight since 1st meeting and you still miss eachother after a w/end apart...love???
I think you both feel a true affinity,being together is so natural,so are with the most interesting person in the can watch them at the washbasin cleaning thier teeth or opening a tin of beans to make some beans on toast and you can still hear the Angels care past yourself and your own needs for theirs and when they're tired,or lacklustre,or hungover,you still think she/he is SO wonderful,SO special..and,somehow,if they feel that back for you too,if it isn't just a one sided thing!..
I do think there is an element of a kind of universal love in swinging.I consider my few encounters to have been with generous,open hearted people who shared something meaningful with me,even if only for a few mattered at the time,was lovely at the time, and is always remembered with affection. It isn't love as in THE love..has anyone here ever proceeded onto a love love relationship with a person they first met in a swinging situation??
Not qualified to speak.... as I've never been in love All say AAAAhhhhhhhhh!!!
But some of the definitions given in this thread seem pretty good to me. biggrin
I'm just a bit intrigued as to why wulf_angel thinks love is a "strange topic for this site"? dunno
Agreed Ice Pie..there loads of love in Swinging ,the love between people in their main relationship and the universal love shared with others(like ME! ME! HE SAID NONE TOO SUBTLY! lol ),thats not Swingers being IN love but can be done WITH love!
Quote by Keith K
Agreed Ice Pie..there loads of love in Swinging ,the love between people in their main relationship and the universal love shared with others(like ME! ME! HE SAID NONE TOO SUBTLY! lol ),thats not Swingers being IN love but can be done WITH love!

Very well put.
With apologies to wulf_angel for the digression, but it is related: When you tell a friend "I love you" should you automatically qualify it, or is it OK to assume they'll know what you mean?
Ice
If its a friend you surely talk about things at some kind of lengh,with some kind of detail..then again we can sometimes be amazing at leaving things unsaid can't we?Or saying things that have hidden meanings - but do THEY pick up on that?
Quote by Ice Pie
When you tell a friend "I love you" should you automatically qualify it, or is it OK to assume they'll know what you mean?

I believe you should not qualify it. Each person has a different understanding of romantic love; peer love; familial love; etc.
Let your friends read into it what they will. The people I profess to love possibly understand what I mean, in each circumstance, if they don't, maybe I misjudged them.
In my feeble opinion, you know when you're in love and if you don't know, then you're probably not.
But that's in love, which is different. I love my daughter, my friends and food. All in very different ways.
I have told my friends I love them and I'm pretty sure they know what I mean!
Being "In Love" and "Loving" someone are different things.
When your In Love, you cant think straight and your heart races when you see that person.. you just cant get them out of your mind. Its a type of Insanity... although a nice kind ;)
When you Love someone; then their happiness is as important, if not more so, than your own. You may not think of them every waking minute, as in the first definition, but you do think on how they will feel in decisions you make that will affect them; your always there for them, and it feels good to be with them.