suggestions needed-case of the ex

11 May 2005

Quote by jellybelly
My solution got custody of my children soon shuts them up !!!!!

Can't speak from experience (as myself and Mrs TnH are lucky enough to be together) and hope to never go through this. However I have helped a few friends caught in this trap. I also have family where the husband went for custody and won, he has been a great father from there on. Without to my knowledge any financial help from ex wife.
From the sounds of your post she is taking you for a ride, I would say document everything, quietly. Keep your swinging very quiet, it will not help you in court if they start digging for dirt. (Not that I think swinging is dirty, but don't give em ammo). See what you can do in medium term on custody as per Jellybelly's advice.
I know there is no easy solution here, join fathers for justice and see if they can offer better advice. It is unfair of her to have you worried she will withold your access rights to blackmail you for more money.
Wishing you both all the best babes.
TnH

11 May 2005

Check out the CSA web site hun, they have an online calculator that will help establish what you should be paying by law...

11 May 2005

Hey Lou,
The troubles just keep coming, don't they? It does sound like you are being taken for ride - but that has been covered by others already. A point to bear in mind is that a holiday is not a right - having a roof over your head, food to eat and clothes to wear are essential and Colin should be helping fund his daugher for these things. But going on holiday is not an essential item. My mum was left on her own to bring up two kids because my dad died when we were young. She had a decent job but we never had money to spare. She made sure we didn't want for anything but luxuries like holidays were not guaranteed. Did I suffer because of it? Don't think so! And Colin's daughter won't either.
All the best to you both,
H

11 May 2005

Quote by donsidelovers
Hey Lou,
The troubles just keep coming, don't they? It does sound like you are being taken for ride - but that has been covered by others already. A point to bear in mind is that a holiday is not a right - having a roof over your head, food to eat and clothes to wear are essential and Colin should be helping fund his daugher for these things. But going on holiday is not an essential item. My mum was left on her own to bring up two kids because my dad died when we were young. She had a decent job but we never had money to spare. She made sure we didn't want for anything but luxuries like holidays were not guaranteed. Did I suffer because of it? Don't think so! And Colin's daughter won't either.
All the best to you both,
H

thnx hun but he has a son!,lol thnks babes im gonna have to sort all this out!!

11 May 2005

Having been stung by the CSA I know how dirty they can be. Ruthless, intimidating and unbending in there attitude to criminalising anyone (m or f) who is unfortunate to no longer have ther kids live with them.
Advice,
DO NOT GIVE THE CSA A PHONE NUMBER OF YOUR OWN, OR WORKPLACE,
ALWAYS ASK FOR FULL NAMES AND LOG TIMES AND DATES OF TELECONS
WITH A RECORD OF WHAT WAS SAID.
ALWAYS SEND MAIL BY REGISTERED POST AND KEEP A COPY OF WHAT YOU SENT.
ALWAYS KEEP A RECEIPT OF WHAT YOU BUY FOR THE KID(S)
IF YOU GIVE THE EX CASH, GET HER / HIM TO SIGN AS HAVING RECIEVED IT.
DON'T EVER BADMOUTH THE EX IN FRONT OF THE KID(S), jUST LET THEM ENJOY THEMSELVES IN YOUR PRESENCE. iF THE EX BADMOUTHS YOU, LITTLE SNAPPER WILL MAKE HIS / HER MIND UP.
That's just a few of the many rules to protect everyone involved.
If you don't mind, i will PM you with a load of info on this emotionally stressful topic in the next few days.
Regards,
Bell

11 May 2005

Quote by bailiffs
thnx hun but he has a son!,lol thnks babes im gonna have to sort all this out!!

ooops!

12 May 2005

Quote by bell412
Having been stung by the CSA I know how dirty they can be. Ruthless, intimidating and unbending in there attitude to criminalising anyone (m or f) who is unfortunate to no longer have ther kids live with them.
Advice,
DO NOT GIVE THE CSA A PHONE NUMBER OF YOUR OWN, OR WORKPLACE,
ALWAYS ASK FOR FULL NAMES AND LOG TIMES AND DATES OF TELECONS
WITH A RECORD OF WHAT WAS SAID.
ALWAYS SEND MAIL BY REGISTERED POST AND KEEP A COPY OF WHAT YOU SENT.
ALWAYS KEEP A RECEIPT OF WHAT YOU BUY FOR THE KID(S)
IF YOU GIVE THE EX CASH, GET HER / HIM TO SIGN AS HAVING RECIEVED IT.
DON'T EVER BADMOUTH THE EX IN FRONT OF THE KID(S), jUST LET THEM ENJOY THEMSELVES IN YOUR PRESENCE. iF THE EX BADMOUTHS YOU, LITTLE SNAPPER WILL MAKE HIS / HER MIND UP.
That's just a few of the many rules to protect everyone involved.
If you don't mind, i will PM you with a load of info on this emotionally stressful topic in the next few days.
Regards,
Bell

i dont ever bad mouth her off in frount of him at the end of the day it still his mother irrespective of how nasty she is.

12 May 2005

thnx for that,
to be honest its been greif for 4 years!, poor lad ends up being in the middle as much as we try not to let that happen.
lou xx

12 May 2005

Quote by Poohbear
Oh..and as an aside..the CSA offices are in Ireland so we cant just turn up on the doorstep to take issue with them in person..bloody faceless, self righteous b*stards they are too.

Actually they're not. One office I know is VERY close to me, but you wouldn't know it to look at it!
Mal
wink

12 May 2005

another in town in essex beginning with B
in offices above dole