Bloody hell...ive just helped myself to a banana from the fruit bowl and bugger me if it isnt .....
Mungo Jerry`s drummer :shock: as clear as owt !
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Surreal nonsense and catching up with old friends thread.
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Sex God
Quote by Dino
Bloody hell...ive just helped myself to a banana from the fruit bowl and bugger me if it isnt .....
Mungo Jerry`s drummer :shock: as clear as owt !
Quick, get on ebay, it's gotta be worth money. Word it right though, big it up, not only have you got an iconic image on the skin, the lucky buyer gets the ingrediant for a tasty fritter free inside.
I shall sell it as a 70s pop icon fruit product that can, at the twist and pull of the wrist be turned into a popular and tastey energy providing treat !
Anyhow.. im off to form a posse of grizzled tough looking types to track down neilinleeds, staggy, Warwick, Kat and the rest of the old guard, for without them, this thread is incomplete..
next thing you know we`ll be avin a game of avatar challenge and thru the keyhole, and re opening the girly free zone 
:lol:
Anyhow.. im off to form a posse of grizzled tough looking types to track down neilinleeds, staggy, Warwick, Kat and the rest of the old guard, for without them, this thread is incomplete..
next thing you know we`ll be avin a game of avatar challenge and thru the keyhole, and re opening the girly free zone :lol: Quote by tabbi
Ooooooooooooooooooo people I haven't seen for years :bounce:
Red n Dino ya tree hugger, how are you both?
Blimey ! if it int me ole tree huggin buddy Tabbi
how the hell are ya matey?im gettin all emotional n stuff now...
Please excuse me...i have to leave the erm room a moment...erm...got summat in my eye i think
good to see ya Tabbi
:thumbup:
Quote by Dino
Ooooooooooooooooooo people I haven't seen for years :bounce:
Red n Dino ya tree hugger, how are you both?
Blimey ! if it int me ole tree huggin buddy Tabbi
how the hell are ya matey?im gettin all emotional n stuff now...
Please excuse me...i have to leave the erm room a moment...erm...got summat in my eye i think
good to see ya Tabbi
:thumbup:
Ha haaaa what did i tell you about spunkin in ya eye? get the lady to lick it out for ya :twisted: oooo i feel a dirty moment coming on. Nope it's ok, it passed lol
Sex God
Quote by Dino
I shall sell it as a70s iconic fruit product that can, at the twist and pull of the wrist be turned into a popular and tastey energy providing treat !
Perfect Dino, just perfect. I've never worked in marketing, but do know you gotta push every upside of you iconic bannana.
As for your fuel station,I gotta hold off on that cos I'got to get back to me toasting, believe it of not I've only gone and got a commission :bounce: power of the internet eh.
After posting last night a high up in the company that makes Clearasil, wants me to toast as many slices of bread as I need thats got them black poppy seeds in it until I get a rough image of a human face, male or female, they ain't bothered.. They are then gonna mount it under glass, alogside a pristine white slice as a promotional gimmick. A sort of before and after type thing. My toast representing the over exposed, dried out, blackhead filled result of poor skin care and the fresh white slice to show what can be achieved in just 7 days with their lotion.
Dave... noooooo, its a trick and they are tryin to stitch you up.
Theres dirty work afoot here, them Clearasil people have a plan ! :eeek:
Theyve been having problems with there products you see, its been causing a severe skin condition when applied to the face, doctors are calling this condition "Bread face syndrome"
Let me explain....
They are worried about being sued by unhappy customers so theyve come up with a cunning plan which im afraid is where you come in.
They employ you with your "before and after toast demonstration", they will say they are so impressed with your work they`d like to offer you the job of Chief tester and research manager.
When it all goes tits up they simply point the finger at you and showing the authorities your bread test results and claiming that those pieces of bread and toast diplayed under glass used to be laboratory mice !! you`ll carry the can for the whole sorry affair and they walk away scott free :shock:...bastards :twisted:
And d`ya want to know how i came by this information??
You know I said i was going to look for neilinleeds, well theres a good reason why hes not been around of late, but against all odds i found him,,,its not a pretty sight i can tell ya :upset:.
Sadly Neil has been a clearasil user for some time now... theres no easy way to say this but....hes got "Bread Face Syndrome" !!!!!:eeek:
here he is down Leeds market
So get out Dave, before its to late !!! :crazy:
Theres dirty work afoot here, them Clearasil people have a plan ! :eeek:
Theyve been having problems with there products you see, its been causing a severe skin condition when applied to the face, doctors are calling this condition "Bread face syndrome"
Let me explain....
They are worried about being sued by unhappy customers so theyve come up with a cunning plan which im afraid is where you come in.
They employ you with your "before and after toast demonstration", they will say they are so impressed with your work they`d like to offer you the job of Chief tester and research manager.
When it all goes tits up they simply point the finger at you and showing the authorities your bread test results and claiming that those pieces of bread and toast diplayed under glass used to be laboratory mice !! you`ll carry the can for the whole sorry affair and they walk away scott free :shock:...bastards :twisted:
And d`ya want to know how i came by this information??
You know I said i was going to look for neilinleeds, well theres a good reason why hes not been around of late, but against all odds i found him,,,its not a pretty sight i can tell ya :upset:.
Sadly Neil has been a clearasil user for some time now... theres no easy way to say this but....hes got "Bread Face Syndrome" !!!!!:eeek:
here he is down Leeds market
So get out Dave, before its to late !!! :crazy:
Now you see flower???? you see what happens when you randomly and indiscriminately start a thread which lets out the gorgons of SH. It was like shouting Beetlejuice three times. Sarg Bilko had them all locked safely away in one of those flying prism things off of Superman, and you broke the spell.
May the Lard have mercy on our souls :happy:
May the Lard have mercy on our souls :happy:
Sex God
:rotflmao:...You have way too much time on your hands Dino..
:rotflmao:
I've just rang Neil, I had no idea, poor fella is suffering real bad because of the 'breadface' He suffers permant abuse from the local yobs. Sat on a bench in Leeds city centre and was swamped by pigeons that cost him his left ear before they could be driven away and a drunk kicked him in the balls and stuck Flora spreadable up both of Neils nostrils. The only good thing to come of it was the police finally apprehended the culprit and have charged him with 'Assault and Buttery'
Quote by tabbi
Now you see flower???? you see what happens when you randomly and indiscriminately start a thread which lets out the gorgons of SH. It was like shouting Beetlejuice three times. Sarg Bilko had them all locked safely away in one of those flying prism things off of Superman, and you broke the spell.
May the Lard have mercy on our souls :happy:
:rotflmao:Swinging heavens pandoras box
And heres the evidence...
Flower, caught on cctv deep within the bowels of SH dungeons,
Quote by davej
...You have way too much time on your hands Dino..
:rotflmao:
I've just rang Neil, I had no idea, poor fella is suffering real bad because of the 'breadface' He suffers permant abuse from the local yobs. Sat on a bench in Leeds city centre and was swamped by pigeons that cost him his left ear before they could be driven away and a drunk kicked him in the balls and stuck Flora spreadable up both of Neils nostrils. The only good thing to come of it was the police finally apprehended the culprit and have charged him with 'Assault and Buttery'
:rotflmao::rotflmao:
im laughing so much, a little bit of wee`s just come out :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
Sex God
Quote by flower411
The voices told me to start the thread ......I distinctly remember ...
"Start the thread and they will come"
I never knew what they bloody meant now, did I !!!
...and I for one am glad you did start it flower, because as it's evolved, I've been made aware of a terrible disease I didn't know existed. I will certainly think twice about joining in with the drunken bread roll throwing that sometimes takes place at event dinner parties, for fear of adding insult to injury, by hurling some unfortunates testicle across the room.
Quote by flower411
It was neither random nor indiscriminate !!
The voices told me to start the thread ......I distinctly remember ...
"Start the thread and they will come"
I never knew what they bloody meant now, did I !!
you had little choice in the matter my child, it was your destiny.... your fate.
Way way back through the mists of time, the Great Ones of Swinging Heaven Towers looked over this mystical place with grave concerns.
They agreed it needed defending from the evil ones, those that for reasons known only to themselves, wished chaos and anarchy to rule these hallowed corridors and chambers of magnificence.
They searched the length and breadth of the lands and selected only the most noble, knowledgable and pure to be sentinals of S/H Towers.
They swiftly set about ridding the place of its unwanted evil, and under the watchful eye of sentinal Bluexxx they cast this plague of un holy demons into the bowels of the Towers, where there souls would be held forever in a magical casket.
It was prophesied that a fair maiden, whos name will be "Flos caeli astra" will cast a magical secret number spell... unwittingly releasing the caskets evils upon the Towers once more.....
"Flos caeli astra",, when translated from latin means "Flower from Heaven"
And the number of the spell ??.....411.
footnote;i know flower411 is a chap but "maiden" sounds so much better in a magical tale
Sex God
You need to be careful what you wish for on this site!
Sex God
Pssst Dino, come here. The flower that posts, carries {just to keep with the flow} a full set of bread rolls.
Quote by flower411
Pssst Dino, come here. The flower that posts, carries {just to keep with the flow} a full set of bread rolls.
AND a baguette !!
Im sure your flour and yeast based genitalia are as good as the next mans,(unless your next to neilinleeds of course
) its just that for the sake of the story, maiden sounds better somehow. Erm can i stop whisperin yet? Sex God
Quote by Dino
Pssssst, i did put a little notey thing at the bottom of the post
footnote;i know flower411 is a chap but "maiden" sounds so much better in a magical tale
And Pssst why are we all whispering ???
...because I'm due visitors tonight, but don't want to see them so I'm pretending not to be here hence the need to whisper and sit in the dark.....sssshh
Sex God
Quote by Dino
If i could do sign language, and if i could understand it, we could get one o them people in the bottom corner of the screen to wave there arms n fingers about and we wouldnt even have to whisper :gagged:
I saw mrs davej doing that down the garden a few weeks ago, thought good on her learning something new in her latter years. Turns out she'd just stood on a wasps nest :doh:
Quote by davej
If i could do sign language, and if i could understand it, we could get one o them people in the bottom corner of the screen to wave there arms n fingers about and we wouldnt even have to whisper :gagged:
I saw mrs davej doing that down the garden a few weeks ago, thought good on her learning something new in her latter years. Turns out she'd just stood on a wasps nest :doh:
Same thing happened to Hornyred in the park, what a cuffuffle :taz:
Aww, youve got to love em though bless.............................wasps :inlove:
Quote by warwick
Sorry havent been around much lately , been counting my marbles and desperately trying not to lose too much on the foreign Goldfish exchange
I tell you the price of fish food its ruining me :sad:
Just when you thought things couldnt get any more surreal, goldfish swim by and marbles roll past
Mr Warwick
grand to see ya I am not an Alien I am a free man
Free to anyone who will have me
Dino , Mr Davej Sir, Neilnolongerinleedsorishebackinleeds, sarah !!!!!!!
The cuts have started it appears and care in the community is cheaper it has to be long someones going to start certifying peeps again .
Its like Ive never ben away apart from the huge increase in wrinkles and empty wine bottles that is.
Now whose got change for a goldfish Im off down the pub :twisted:
Free to anyone who will have me
Dino , Mr Davej Sir, Neilnolongerinleedsorishebackinleeds, sarah !!!!!!!
The cuts have started it appears and care in the community is cheaper it has to be long someones going to start certifying peeps again .
Its like Ive never ben away apart from the huge increase in wrinkles and empty wine bottles that is.
Now whose got change for a goldfish Im off down the pub :twisted:
Sex God
Quote by warwick
I am not an Alien I am a free man
Free to anyone who will have me
Dino , Mr Davej Sir, Neilnolongerinleedsorishebackinleeds, sarah !!!!!!!
The cuts have started it appears and care in the community is cheaper it has to be long someones going to start certifying peeps again .
Its like Ive never ben away apart from the huge increase in wrinkles and empty wine bottles that is.
Now whose got change for a goldfish Im off down the pub :twisted:
I had to photograph your bum!!Do you need certifying again???
2 hairy half eaten sweets in exchange for a goldfish! :giggle:
Sex God
Quote by warwick
Sorry havent been around much lately , been counting my marbles and desperately trying not to lose too much on the foreign Goldfish exchange
I tell you the price of fish food its ruining me :sad:
These goldfish warwick? They're a kind of carp ain't they? They partial to bread at all, cos I've just had a shave this morning and I've got a sinkful of baguette crumbs I don't know what to do with.
They wouldn't have to know they were a by-product of a disfiguring disease. Even if they guessed they'd have forgotten in about 2 seconds, cos they're goldfish, eh? Might be an option for you . . . N x x x;)
Quote by neilinleeds
Sorry havent been around much lately , been counting my marbles and desperately trying not to lose too much on the foreign Goldfish exchange
I tell you the price of fish food its ruining me :sad:
These goldfish warwick? They're a kind of carp ain't they? They partial to bread at all, cos I've just had a shave this morning and I've got a sinkful of baguette crumbs I don't know what to do with.
They wouldn't have to know they were a by-product of a disfiguring disease. Even if they guessed they'd have forgotten in about 2 seconds, cos they're goldfish, eh? Might be an option for you . . . N x x x;)
THe pair of you need to get in touch with Captain Birds Eye - You can supply the whole product and everyone's a winner.
If you could train the goldfish to hold their fins out at a reasonable angle warwick you could even pinch the substance of Dave and Dino's idea and have religious breaded goldfish. Just need a catchy name to market them and I'm sure someonewould have some ideas.
Jas
XXX
I have laughed so much reading this thread - you are all mad as the proverbial, well done
:lol: :lol: :lol: 