Swinger? No I'm not.

7 Nov 2005

Quote by onlyme1981
Iâ€™m here for now, while single, to be part of a community and meet people but only temporarily, how temporary remains to be seen but alas, it is temporary.

well u just wanna swing with one person....thats cool....im sure theres plenty who'll offer

7 Nov 2005

Quote by bluexxx
As long as you agree to clean out the discarded beer bottles from the GFZ every Monday morning, generally keep SH Towers clean and tidy, oh and you remember to make the Big Black Dalec a huge coffee every morning so he doesn't get too grumpy, we'll let you stay. OK
:lol: :lol: :lol:

Oooh, does that mean I get to meet the BBD? Get me the papers, and I'll sign up for that right now!
:lol:
Thank you though, to everyone who replied. It just backs up my belief that this is a special community and people look out for each other.
I will stop worrying about my acceptance here and get on with things. I don't feel the need to justify to myself as to why I'm here anymore, I have plenty of valid reasons.
I would quote some of you and answer the various questions you've put to me but I don't have time right now so maybe I'll do it later! biggrin

Thank you again, you lot might be tarts but you're all stars in my opinion! :lol:

7 Nov 2005

glad you're staying, always thought you were a lovely person.
just remember the SH as a pub analogy, just cos you're not drinking doesn't mean you have to leave the premisis drinkies

besides, what would we do without that gorgeous avatar :smitten: kiss

7 Nov 2005

I can only echo what others have said. Ive only met you once, under a table redface

and your a lovely person, glad your staying :wink:

7 Nov 2005

Quote by Dino
I can only echo what others have said. Ive only met you once, under a table and your a lovely person, glad your staying :wink:

Actually we've met twice. Though the first time at the Notts munch can be forgotten as I don't remember much about that night anyway! lol

I remember the table gang at Leciester though, what happened to those brilliant thread ideas anyway?
I don't think I would have left the site anyway, even if I wasn't fully accepted here. I would have just stayed in the background somewhat more.
I'm stubborn like that! :lol:

7 Nov 2005

Quote by Dino
I can only echo what others have said. Ive only met you once, under a table and your a lovely person, glad your staying :wink:

ooo your in big trouble now Dino if red sees this :scared:

7 Nov 2005

the one thing i really enjoy about this site is the diversity.
people from all walks of life and differing backgrounds all joined together by the biggest invisible wire ever created :shock:
i have met so many people over the last 4 weeks, not all sexually but socially too and i really enjoy all the variations.
i have no problem driving 200 miles for a meet with someone i have chatted to over endless hours having a drink and a laugh in a different city before heading back to gods country.
it's not all about sex, in fact i think that is a very small part. it's about togetherness and meeting people you would never have met in your life if it wasn't for the internet.

7 Nov 2005

Quote by onlyme1981
It seems most people are tolerant and open-minded on here, which is one of the reasons I've stayed around.

I can't speak for them, but maybe the "hardened" swingers on here have had enough bad experiences at the hands of people who aren't open-minded themselves, and that makes them a bit more tolerant than most people...

7 Nov 2005

Pure escapism for me, not involved, seperated from the long suffering, probably would not have swung with her in anycase, one of the dreaded single guys (well I am single but I guess most are not), but find I can take it or leave it rather than so many lone guys you see at clubs who take on the look of starved hounds following ladies about in the hope of a scrap from the table (forgive that comparison ladies and partners, it is meant towards the lone guys)
high pressure job, like the single life, casual sex is OK but it is much more fun and less akward with friends than trying to figure out how your advance will be interpretated, do not wish to hurt a lady's feeling by making her think there is more than mutual pleasure in the relationship, My ideal is friends who bonk, also I guess enjoy the watching being watched as well.
anyway thats my take on it, each to somebody elses own!

7 Nov 2005

Quote by onlyme1981
I can only echo what others have said. Ive only met you once, under a table and your a lovely person, glad your staying :wink:

Actually we've met twice. Though the first time at the Notts munch can be forgotten as I don't remember much about that night anyway!
Yeh, Notts doesnt count cos we were sooo wankered drinkies

and i couldnt string two words together that night. i even said that Happycats was an ok guy ffs confused

7 Nov 2005

Quote by Dino
Yeh, Notts doesnt count cos we were sooo wankered and i couldnt string two words together that night. i even said that Happycats was an ok guy ffs

Fluckin' 'ell and I thought that was the real you :shock: Can't wait to meet you lol

7 Nov 2005

Quote by westerross

Yeh, Notts doesnt count cos we were sooo wankered and i couldnt string two words together that night. i even said that Happycats was an ok guy ffs

Fluckin' 'ell and I thought that was the real you :shock: Can't wait to meet you lol

you wouldnt like the real me, the real me is 6ft 4in muscular and handsome,
at munches i hide all that and disguise myself as a 5ft6in ugly bloke whos always pissed wink

7 Nov 2005

Quote by easy
Vanilla as in non-swinger? Hi, I'm easy and I'm still vanilla (wanna lick? :twisted: )

For a none swinger you have to be the most totally tooti-fruity nut with chocolate sauce on I have ever met........ vanilla my arse :kissmyarse:

Quote by easy
I hope that the people I class as my friends here enjoy my sense of humour and my company despite the fact that I won't go to bed with them.

Not sure if i fit into the first bit... the 'friends' bit but i can safely say that i totally enjoy your company and don't have the slightest interest in going to bed with you :huh: .......
but then theres the Countess :rose: :inlove: passionkiss

:eeek:

But seriously..... onlyme......
i can only agree with what all these have said....... now theres a first, virtually the entire board in agreement, even Blue! :shock:
People are welcome here if they accept others ideas and way of life, no whether they have sex with the entire site. So kick off ya boots your going nowhere! drinkies

7 Nov 2005

Quote by Morbius
Vanilla as in non-swinger? Hi, I'm easy and I'm still vanilla (wanna lick? :twisted: )

For a none swinger you have to be the most totally tooti-fruity nut with chocolate sauce on I have ever met........ vanilla my arse :kissmyarse:

Quote by easy
I hope that the people I class as my friends here enjoy my sense of humour and my company despite the fact that I won't go to bed with them.

Not sure if i fit into the first bit... the 'friends' bit but i can safely say that i totally enjoy your company and don't have the slightest interest in going to bed with you :huh: .......
but then theres the Countess :rose: :inlove: passionkiss

:eeek:

But seriously..... onlyme......
i can only agree with what all these have said....... now theres a first, virtually the entire board in agreement, even Blue! :shock:
People are welcome here if they accept others ideas and way of life, no whether they have sex with the entire site. So kick off ya boots your going nowhere! drinkies

What he said ... whilst we're prolific on the site our actual swinging meets are too small to consider us "hardon oops hardened swingers" because we value friendship first.
Stick around ...... what makes this community is that all walks of life are represented, and there's room for swingers and non swingers alike.
C x

7 Nov 2005

You will find a lot of peeps who just like the social atmosphere at various adult events. They don't participate in any of the action. Some visit because its popular and they go with the crowd.
There are a few pursuits which are identifiable and have their own code of commitment. With sexuality now falling under a much bigger umbrella, there is considerable cross over and mixture going on. It can be confusing.

7 Nov 2005

I still feel very new but here's my humble opinion;
You're here because you're open minded, especially about sex.
Everyone draws lines for various aspects of their lives, for the sexual aspect of your life you've drawn your line. That's fine. You can even move the line if you want.
I think by now in this thread, you've gathered that you're welcome here. I certainly feel that I have been made very welcome and I'm a single bloke (although I may now have a female partner in crime for sexual adventures biggrin

) !
Oh, and have a look at my ad... :twisted:

8 Nov 2005

Hi onlyme,
Fristly, although i am a newbie on sh my path and reasons to get here are similar to yours.
I am single at the moment and i am here coz i wish to have some fun! although i am not a "proper swinger" as you put it yet! but then i have been here less than a week :lol: so give me time!
But like yourself if i had a partner and i was in a good relationship i may not wish to :swingingchair: unless he was a member too!
But it is not a double standard, any person should only ever do what they are happy and comfortable with in life
Live your life by what you are happy with and friends and others should love and respect you for WHO YOU ARE!
Only YOU know what is right for YOU
Be happy in life and have fun! :D

8 Nov 2005

Quote by Dino
I can only echo what others have said. Ive only met you once, under a table and your a lovely person, glad your staying :wink:

Actually we've met twice. Though the first time at the Notts munch can be forgotten as I don't remember much about that night anyway!
Yeh, Notts doesnt count cos we were sooo wankered drinkies

and i couldnt string two words together that night. i even said that Happycats was an ok guy ffs confused

You must've been drunk to say that Dino.... whatever next?!
lol

8 Nov 2005

I'd like to reply to you all individually because you've all contributed some very good views and points but I won't. It'd be too much of a long post and I don't want this to be a look at me thread in any way whatsoever...people who know me will know I'm not like that anyway.
I'd like to say a collective thank you to all those who have contributed via this thread and PM. Warning: I might go into Gwyneth Paltrow mode fairly soon lol

This is going to sound soooo soppy and stupid but I've been in tears reading some of the replies via here and PM.
I'm highly strung at the moment....that's my excuse and I'm sticking to it :lol:
It just makes me happy that there are some brilliant, caring people around. No matter what anyone says about this site or the people on it I'll always know I have friends here I can trust.
I'm glad I posted the thread as it seems there are other people out there just as confused as me....well actually, that's not likely, they are nearly as confused as me :lol: and it has helped them see that they are accepted here too.
Thanks again, I'll stop with the soppyness now :lol:
kiss

8 Nov 2005

Quote by Missy
I have thought about such things recently as I feel a bit of a fraud for being here.

Bad Onlyme!!!! smackbottom

Of course you're welcome on here, tis lovely having you around kiss

So no more of that talk ok :jagsatwork:
The site is extremely diverse, that's what makes it tick over so well. From the people that do not swing, are only here socially, but have a very open mind to happily accept that people do, to the people that are full on, ain't ever gonna quit have booked me orgies for the next 6 mths in advance cos would hate to have an empty diary, people - with a whole load of people in between :bounce:
If you do meet that someone special and you introduce em to the site, course they would be welcome too - an open mind and an acceptance of everyones lifestyle is the only criteria to join :happy:
So stop your fretting and carry on having a blast!!!
:kiss:
What Missy said ^ ^ ^ ^
Have another :smackbottom: for thinking that way !

8 Nov 2005

Quote by dambuster
I have thought about such things recently as I feel a bit of a fraud for being here.

Bad Onlyme!!!!

What Missy said ^ ^ ^ ^
Have another :smackbottom: for thinking that way !
I'm going to start getting used to all these :smackbottom: and that aint a good thing, I have enough bruises, I dont want any more!
lol

8 Nov 2005

Quote by onlyme1981
Right, Iâ€™m feeling somewhat confused with my life in general at the moment and wanted to share a few thoughts/questions with you all.
I admit Iâ€™m not a swinger. I donâ€™t think I ever will be a â€œproperâ€ swinger.
I have thought about such things recently as I feel a bit of a fraud for being here. I donâ€™t have the mindset that swingers have and could not see someone I love be intimate someone else.
My views have changed somewhat since being here but I personally still couldnâ€™t swing. Iâ€™m not by any means saying itâ€™s wrong, just wrong for me.
Iâ€™m here for now, while single, to be part of a community and meet people but only temporarily, how temporary remains to be seen but alas, it is temporary.
I first joined the site for casual sex, then progressed from the ads to the forum and saw that this place wasnâ€™t just about sex. There are a whole load of people here wanting and looking for different things, labelled as different things etc etc.
Iâ€™ve met some wonderful people here and Iâ€™m glad I came back when my relationship failed back in April. I have been here socially only since then, due to personal â€œissuesâ€ but I feel Iâ€™m ready to meet people again and I have a bit more confidence than before so while I am still single (which, lets face it, could be forever! ) Iâ€™d like to remain a member on here and have some really great times and experiences.
My questions are:
Am I any less accepted/welcome on here because I couldnâ€™t be a swinger if I had a partner?
Am I some sort of fraud because Iâ€™m only here for meeting people in a sexual sense while Iâ€™m single?
If I meet a vanilla partner, will I still be accepted here just socially?
Knowing I couldnâ€™t swing with my partner (if I had one), do I have double standards if I meet with a couple?
Iâ€™ve been a bit confused since I came back in April and even more so since I started going to Munchâ€™s.
I guess I just feel like Iâ€™m deceiving people or something or that I shouldnâ€™t be here at all as my mindset isnâ€™t right for what this place is all about....primarily for swingers!
Your thoughts are welcome.

:smile2: :therethere:

8 Nov 2005

Quote by Phire
I still feel very new but here's my humble opinion;
You're here because you're open minded, especially about sex.
Everyone draws lines for various aspects of their lives, for the sexual aspect of your life you've drawn your line. That's fine. You can even move the line if you want.
I think by now in this thread, you've gathered that you're welcome here. :twisted:

What everyone else said and esp what Phire said.
I just dip in and out, occasionally throwing my pennyworth in, but really enjoy the threads and thoughts whether sex/swinger related or not. There are many many people that are on here who I fancy from their avatar, love what they say or just laugh at....and 99% of them I will never get the chance to meet - and that's sometimes the point. I consider this place to be a meeting place for people I am unlikely to meet in the main (for distance reasons or otherwise) but who are happy to share life's fun, sadness, mysteries and laughs with other like minded people. The fact that everyone has different views on just about everything just goes to prove how well you fit in.
That SH is first and foremost a swinging site does not mean that it is it's only purpose otherwise it would just be a chat room and adverts.
It's a community, so glad you're here, glad everyone else is here and vive la difference!
Dave

8 Nov 2005

Only me I have been exactly where you are in your mind set and know sometimes you can wonder if as a single woman you are accpted for who you are. The last two years of my life I have been exploring my sexuality, self esteem, attitude towards sexuality and friendship and swinging.
I was here to begin with the attitude "I hate men and I am gonna ***k with their brains as they have done that to mine" NOT a good attitude but still it was the one I had.
My confidence was in tatters from a previous relationship and I came over as hard, uncaring, unloving but very very needy. The result was men ran from me and the idea of swinging was just not an option. I left the site a couple of times as I was frustrated with myself and needed to really sort myself out and time is a great healer.
The site never constrained me or forced me to be or do anything I wanted to do. That is and has always been my choice as it is yours.
I am really comfortable with who I am now and what the site brings to me and I for the site. I have had a mini swing with a guy ( a very mini unexpected one ). Since then we have sat and talked lots about what that means what are the ground rules of acceptance and where we go from here. Talking things through openly with someone you like and respect is really interesting and makes you realise your strengths and vunerabilities are shared with others.
Only me I fall into the catergory of 'voyeur' something which many of us are. Others are exhibitionists and like to perform to an audience and others are looking for one to one relationships with a little added spice every now and again (many more catergories but thats all can think of for now).
What I do know about you Only me is that many people like you and respect you on this site and you have a whole lifetime of dreams to gather before you worry about whether or not to swing ....................................so sit back enjoy....................................

9 Nov 2005

I can't ignore the feelings and work put into that reply Corrie so thank you for sharing your "stuff" with me. smile

Quote by corriefem
.....you have a whole lifetime of dreams to gather before you worry about whether or not to swing ....................................so sit back enjoy....................................

That is so true... I'm not rushing into anything, I'm still young, still ready to learn and experience things. I am building my confidence everyday and it's a slow process but I will get there in the end.
I guess I just need to chill a bit more and not worry or think about things so much.
I'm always being told to stop thinking about things or be more laid back but that just isn't me, if something doesn't feel right I'll analyse it, ask for help and then I'll sit back and digest the advice given. Which is exactly what I've done here.... in an open forum! rolleyes

I've sat back and digested and I know the confusion/doubt won't go away over night but I can honestly say that sharing my thoughts with you all has helped a great deal. It's helped to see that others are experiencing some of the thoughts I am and that I'm not alone in some of the ways I think.
I don't really know what to say from here, so many valid views have been expressed.
I'll just shut up now before I embarrass myself even more!
biggrin