swinging adulterers

14 Jul 2005

I've just read a post about reputations and am wondering what sort of response I am going to get to this post, but it's something I really would like responses to, because I don't know what "swingers' etiquette" says about this!
I am new to this and so don't know many (any) other swingers. It seems though, that most of you are either married couples or are in stable relationships. I am unhappily married but want to swing with my new partner. My husband has always been very much opposed to the idea of swinging. Our marriage is all but over, we are still living together but live seperate lives. I have now found someone who wants to try the same things as me and so we are experimenting with swinging.
People may assume that swingers have no morals, but I don't think this is true. On our first visit to a swingers club last week, there seemed to be many rules about what is acceptable and what isn't.
So my question is this really - are we likely to be accepted in swinging cirles if we are both married but not to each other and are doing this secretly?
redface

14 Jul 2005

I think it is all about what you as a couple want and not what others think but as I am a newby as well I might be wrong.

14 Jul 2005

There have been several threads recently about cheating.... ie swinging with others when your partners knows nothing about it.... and the general consensus on this forum seems to be that it is frowned upon - at least those that take part in such discussions frown upon it. That is not to say that ALL of the members of this forum frown upon it... some members are OK with playing with those that they know are cheating on their partners and others consider people's personal cirumstances to be none of their business.

14 Jul 2005

Quote by bluexxx
... That is not to say that ALL of the members of this forum frown upon it... .

Especially the ones pretending to be single lol

14 Jul 2005

Quote by PoloLady
... That is not to say that ALL of the members of this forum frown upon it... .

Especially the ones pretending to be single lol

But that, of course, is being dishonest with those whom you're swinging with as well. Double whammy!
Glad to see we've got the smacked arse back!!

14 Jul 2005

Hi there angelnn66
I think you'll find the number of couples where one or both of the halves is married and playing either with or without thier partners knowledge is actually quite high in swinging circles - I can't see you having a problem at clubs or even at social gatherings to be honest. There a number of quite regular members on here who do it or have done it either with or without the knowledge of the site in general.
Be happy and have fun and remember the only morals you have to live up to are your own.
Roger the Dragon cool

14 Jul 2005

Be happy and have fun and remember the only morals you have to live up to are your own.

Hear Hear - but its also well to be honest with the people you are swinging with, and you'll earn respect for it. It's a point for conversation at least!

14 Jul 2005

As long as you're going for a divorce etc then it wouldn't be seen as cheating. Ending a marriage is a far longer and harder affair than a relationship so being tied down in the same life even though it's ended would be unfair to everyone. Most people would be accepting if you had found a new guy, were getting a divorce and were honest.
Alternatively you can bypass the whole moral issue and look for the one line single guys on the site and elsewhere lol

14 Jul 2005

Personally i don't agree with people cheating but that wasn't the question lol
In my opinion so long as your honest with people on here they can make their own minds up and there will always be someone willing to meet you.

15 Jul 2005

Thanks to everyone for their comments. I still think that honesty is the best policy and I am being honest about my feelings with everyone (including my husband) , so hopefully people will appreciate that.

15 Jul 2005

Having experienced something like what you're going through (my ex wife and I lived in the same house for two years living separate lives) I'd say that if you consider your marraige to be over and have found happiness with another man then you and that man are effectively a couple in your own right and you should live your lives accordingly. If others disagree with what you are doing it is for THEM to deal with not YOU.
Be true to your new partner and honest with those that contact you and you will find yourselves readily accepted by those in here who don't have an issue with how you are living your lives.
You cannot please ALL of the people ALL of the time..... so why try?

15 Jul 2005

Quote by angelnn66
Thanks to everyone for their comments. I still think that honesty is the best policy and I am being honest about my feelings with everyone (including my husband) , so hopefully people will appreciate that.

I can't comment on your, or anyone elses morals (mainly 'cos I don't have any) but I definatley appreciate honesty, no matter the outcome.
Wishmaster - Very well said, Sir. worship

15 Jul 2005

Well best of luck...and remember you only get one life!!
Whiy deprive yourself of meeting nice people like me wink

Welcome and who knows one day!
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