tech support

30 Oct 2004

Subject: Instructions on installing Husband 1.0
Dear Tech Support,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a
distinct slow down in overall system performance - particularly in the
flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under
Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs,
such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed
undesirable programs such as NFL 5.0, NBA 3.0. and Golf Clubs 4.1.
Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes
the system. I've tried running Nagging 5..3 to fix these problems, but to
no avail. What can I do?
Signed,
Desperate
Dear Desperate:
First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while
Husband 1.0 is an Operating System. Please enter the command: "http: I
Thought You Loved " and try to download Tears 6.2 and don't
forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed,
Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0
and Flowers 3.5. But remember, overuse of the above application can cause
Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7..0, or Beer
6.1. Now......Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the
Snoring Loudly Beta.
Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law 1.0 (it runs a virus in
the background, that will eventually seize control of all your system resources). Also, do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.
In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited
memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider
buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We
recommend Hot Food 3.0 and Lingerie 7.7.
Good Luck, Tech Support
rolleyes

31 Oct 2004

:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:

31 Oct 2004

or you could install might help, lol

:lol: :lol:

31 Oct 2004

Quote by mr&mrsdisco1
or you could install might help, :lol: :lol:

That program works fine for a while but opens up a major security hole allowing numerous hackers and viruses onto your system, and before you know it Husband 1.0 will need upgrading to Husband 2.0, a timeconsuming though sometimes worthwhile process. Of course as Husband is an MS product it is prone to Anti-Trust problems and can consume numerous resources for little apparent benefit, so many seek alternative operating systems.
If your committed to keeping Husband 1.0 installed, best keep to the advice on Hot Lingerie and Food.... remember 'honey catches the fly' even if it does make an awful mess of your computer.

31 Oct 2004

I would upgrade Husband 1 to Husband 2 and install boyfriend 6 & 7 to ensure you have plenty of choice, which should ensure plenty of fun, make sure you delete all mother in law , download to ensure plenty of on line laughs.
Sarah

31 Oct 2004

May I recommend a handy little tool available on a free download
AnnSummers 0.4
This tool allows you to upgrade Bedroom 3.2 and Sexlife 2004 Edition II
Always a handy application to have up your sleeve !!
Regards Dan x x x wink

31 Oct 2004

Quote by burose
Subject: Instructions on installing Husband 1.0
Dear Tech Support,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a
distinct slow down in overall system performance - particularly in the
flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under
Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs,
such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed
undesirable programs such as NFL 5.0, NBA 3.0. and Golf Clubs 4.1.
Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes
the system. I've tried running Nagging 5..3 to fix these problems, but to
no avail. What can I do?
Signed,
Desperate
Dear Desperate:
First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while
Husband 1.0 is an Operating System. Please enter the command: "http: I
Thought You Loved " and try to download Tears 6.2 and don't
forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed,
Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0
and Flowers 3.5. But remember, overuse of the above application can cause
Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7..0, or Beer
6.1. Now......Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the
Snoring Loudly Beta.
Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law 1.0 (it runs a virus in
the background, that will eventually seize control of all your system resources). Also, do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.
In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited
memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider
buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We
recommend Hot Food 3.0 and Lingerie 7.7.
Good Luck, Tech Support

:giggle: :giggle: :giggle:
Fekin exellent......

31 Oct 2004

Hello Burose,
Inattention from Husband 1 is easily rectified by simply installing Satisfactory Lover version 9.0. Only available upon application to the below named.
I personally install this, (preferably in absence of Husband 1.) It is available free of charge and comes complete with several free periferal programmes, such as Sensuous Massage ver., 8.0, Cunning Linguist ver. 5.4. Satisfaction 32.4 and After Sex, calm down preceedures Ver. 4.5.
All you have to do is PM me for the installation, this has to be re-booted several times a month. New applicants for this programme get continuous free maintenence for the first five years.
Harry0
cool

31 Oct 2004

Quote by harry0
Hello Burose,
Inattention from Husband 1 is easily rectified by simply installing Satisfactory Lover version 9.0. Only available upon application to the below named.
I personally install this, (preferably in absence of Husband 1.) It is available free of charge and comes complete with several free periferal programmes, such as Sensuous Massage ver., 8.0, Cunning Linguist ver. 5.4. Satisfaction 32.4 and After Sex, calm down preceedures Ver. 4.5.
All you have to do is PM me for the installation, this has to be re-booted several times a month. New applicants for this programme get continuous free maintenence for the first five years.
Harry0

mmmmmmmmmm big boy wink

don`t let the name confuse you. rolleyes

31 Oct 2004

Quote by harry0
Hello Burose,
Inattention from Husband 1 is easily rectified by simply installing Satisfactory Lover version 9.0. Only available upon application to the below named.
I personally install this, (preferably in absence of Husband 1.) It is available free of charge and comes complete with several free periferal programmes, such as Sensuous Massage ver., 8.0, Cunning Linguist ver. 5.4. Satisfaction 32.4 and After Sex, calm down preceedures Ver. 4.5.
All you have to do is PM me for the installation, this has to be re-booted several times a month. New applicants for this programme get continuous free maintenence for the first five years.
Harry0

Hello again Burose,
I hope you got Jags permission to use her old avitar. lol.
The revenge of upset Moderators has to be seen to be believed. lol.
Personally I always had a 'thing' for Miss Piggy. biggrin

Harry0

31 Oct 2004

I think I know why Husband 1.0 is behaving like this. Take a look at the
revision history of Husband 1.0 below and you will see why.
Eighteen months ago he upgraded to Girlfriend 1.0 from Drinking Mates 4.2
which he'd used for years without trouble. However, there are apparently
conflicts between these two systems and the only solution was to try and
run Girlfriend1.0 with the sound turned off. To make matters worse,
Girlfriend 1.0 is also incompatible with several other applications, such as Lads
Night Out 3.1, Golf 2 and Playboy 6.0. Successive versions of Girlfriend
proved no better. A shareware beta-programme Party Girl 2.1 had many Bugs and left
a virus in his system, forcing him to shut down completely for several weeks.
Eventually he tried installing Girlfriend 1.2 as well as Girlfriend 1.0
only to discover that when these two systems detected each other, they caused
severe damage to all his hardware. Sensing a way out, he upgraded to
Fiancee 1.0, only to discover that this means the system has to be upgraded
to Wife 1.0, which he did, largely because, whilst Wife 1.0 uses up all available
resources, it does come bundled with FreeSex Plus and Cleanhouse 2000.
However my friend then discovered that Wife 1.0 can be very unstable and
costly to maintain. For example, any mistakes he makes are automatically
stored in Wife 1.0's memory and can not be deleted - they then re-surface
months later.
Wife 1.0 also has an automatic Diary Explorer and E-mail Porn Filter and
can, without warning, launch PhotoSTROP and WINGEzip. These latter have no
Help files and he has to try and guess the fault himself.
Additional and costly problems are that the Wife 1.0 bundle that came with
the original system footprint needs updating regularly, requiring Shoe Shop
Browser Pro for new attachments and Hairstyle Express needs to be
reinstalled every week. It also refused some of the new Games and
attachments he wanted to try, stating they are an illegal operation.
When Wife 1.0 attaches itself to his Porsche 925 programme it often crashes
or runs the system dry. Wife 1.0 also has a rather annoying pop-up called
Mother-in-Law, which can't be turned off. Recently he's been tempted to try
a Mistress 2005 Add-on, but there could be problems. If Wife 1.0 detects
the presence of Mistress 2005, it will delete all MS Money files before
uninstalling itself.