Television scriptwriters have very little imagination when it comes to charactors and situations. They deal in cardboard characters and hackneyed situations we've seen a million times before.
So why don't we write our own series. Just list the charactor or situation you want to see in it. Remember TV commisioning editors don't like too much originality.
I'll start you off.
Hammer and Nail
Dick Hammer is a loose cannon. He's a cop who'll break every rule to make a collar. He's divorced and has a drink problem.
JOnathon Nail his by the book side kick, is happily married to a young attractive wife who hates his job.
Episode 1. A serial killer is targetting prostitutes
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Television cleches - we could be scriptwriters
The city is living in fear. A serial killer is on the loose. The female detective is out jogging. She lives alone and when she returns home she goes straight to the bathroom and turns on the shower. She goes to her bedroom and strips off. Returning to the bathroom she wipes the steam from the mirror revealing the reflection of the killer standing behind behind her.
General rule of thumb is that unless you see their head separated from their body, do not assume that the full magazine that you've just emptied into that baddie has actually killed him.
Oh, and the machete you foolishly dropped 10 minutes previously will have landed just within arms reach of said baddie.
Oh, and the machete you foolishly dropped 10 minutes previously will have landed just within arms reach of said baddie.
Quote by Mr-Powers
She pulls out her gun..(don't ask)..and shoots the killer,but it happens to be a holographic projection.
the holographic projection bellows a long sadistic laugh and begins to step forward towards her......................she can only hear him and frantically looks around the room.............
Sex God
The hologram has his wicked way with her but she doesn't notice. She lies on her back filing her nails thinking how much the ceiling needs decorating.
She looks down and says "FFS Rimmer! What are you trying to do there?"
The hologram sighs and wishes he could appear in an episode of Dr Who where he'll be taken seriously (by at least two people).
And then suddenly.......
.
She looks down and says "FFS Rimmer! What are you trying to do there?"
The hologram sighs and wishes he could appear in an episode of Dr Who where he'll be taken seriously (by at least two people).
And then suddenly.......
.
The image strides closer and closer to her, his evil laughter ringing around her apartment.
Suddenly, a figure bursts through the open doorway to her apartment and trips over the doormat, falling on his face. It's Mervin, her nerdy downstairs neighbour. Cooking his dinner, he heard the shot and has come to the rescue of Tammy armed with fish slice and spatula.
Suddenly, a figure bursts through the open doorway to her apartment and trips over the doormat, falling on his face. It's Mervin, her nerdy downstairs neighbour. Cooking his dinner, he heard the shot and has come to the rescue of Tammy armed with fish slice and spatula.
He tripped again and was twanged in the face by the fish slice.. at that point a man dressed in a suit looking oh so gallant turned up and smiled, he smile was dazzling and the glint from his teeth bounced off the fish slice and onto the window thus causing a fire, and the whole place burned down.... :shock:
Warming the Bed
Quote by wannahavefun
in the burning building the flame get hotter and hotter............dick hammer is outside the 24 storie building....... the lift is out of order ...he begins to climb the stairs with his trusted sidekick nails...............piercing screams are heard ......................
“It’s OK” he explains to Nail “that’s just the gang bang Mrs Brown is having in no32. She’s a slut so there’s no way I’m going to stop and rescue her, she’s already toast”.
Nails looks in shock at Dick and says “…
Quote by masquerade
in the burning building the flame get hotter and hotter............dick hammer is outside the 24 storie building....... the lift is out of order ...he begins to climb the stairs with his trusted sidekick nails...............piercing screams are heard ......................
“It’s OK” he explains to Nail “that’s just the gang bang Mrs Brown is having in no32. She’s a slut so there’s no way I’m going to stop and rescue her, she’s already toast”.
Nails looks in shock at Dick and says “…
"But I didn't order any butter and jam!!!"
Warming the Bed
"oh for Christ's sake" says Dick, "take my last scraping of Marmite then and get a bluddy move on"
Sex God
Yer all behaving like a bunch of script writers.
Non-sequiters - post leapfrog - and senile behaviour!!
.
Non-sequiters - post leapfrog - and senile behaviour!!
.
Sex God
Quote by Mr-PowersSaid Nails, “and you can stick yer bloody marmite where the sun don’t shine.”
Bugger thought of something but its gone now!
The intrepid heroes arrive at the flat just in time to see a fish slicer imbed itself into a gas pipe on the wall.
Hammer throws himself on top of our helpless heroine whilst nails does the same to Mervin. Hammer shoots him a disgusted stare shouting, “just what the hell do you think your doing?”
Nails, with a twinkle in his eye replies, “you play your games, and I’ll play mine“…………….
Quote by wannahavefun
the chinese karate champion quickly slices throught the jam and marmite toast as they head up the stairs....as they pass no 32 they stop look astounded and see............
henry, the mild mannered janitor, busy mopping the floor - who could have known he had a crazed homocidal identical twin brother?
Quote by redpantherman
Slutty women die first unless there is a black man in which case he dies first
What if the slutty woman is shaggig the black guy at the time- do they cop it at the same time?
:shock: phew!!!
I'm safe... I don't do slutty women!
That makes me a Laydddddeeee! :smug:Erm, where was the film at? Pass me the Minstrels (soo much more munchable than popcorn)
Quote by redpantherman
Slutty women die first unless there is a black man in which case he dies first
What if the slutty woman is shaggig the black guy at the time- do they cop it at the same time?
:shock: phew!!!
I'm safe... I don't do slutty women!
Well I can do slutty :shock: or not slutty
louise xx
Eternally grateful remember
Quote by louise_and_joe
Slutty women die first unless there is a black man in which case he dies first
What if the slutty woman is shaggig the black guy at the time- do they cop it at the same time?
:shock: phew!!!
I'm safe... I don't do slutty women!
Well I can do slutty :shock: or not slutty
louise xx
Eternally grateful remember
Can I be just plain greedy & have all three!!!
slutty or not slutty & eternally grateful? :twisted:
Just don't shoot the black guy :giggle:
Quote by redpantherman
Slutty women die first unless there is a black man in which case he dies first
What if the slutty woman is shaggig the black guy at the time- do they cop it at the same time?
:shock: phew!!!
I'm safe... I don't do slutty women!
Well I can do slutty :shock: or not slutty
louise xx
Eternally grateful remember
Can I be just plain greedy & have all three!!!
slutty or not slutty & eternally grateful? :twisted:
Just don't shoot the black guy :giggle:
No, just let the black guy shoot :giggle:
Louise xx
Protected of course
Sex God
I would quite happily introduce something fresh and exciting to this thread but i'm afraid that you'd think my ideas are nothing but the scriblings of a retard x
