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Terminology of "SH Social Gatherings"
ok HLB thanks, i'm wondering why no ones picked up and commented on my earlier post re it wouldn't work if diferent sites had diferent rules concerning swinging ettiquette, as we believe no matter where you are in the world swingers ettiquette must mean the same all over?
do you agree or not?
do you agree or not?
Quote by cockslut
ok HLB thanks, i'm wondering why no ones picked up and commented on my earlier post re it wouldn't work if diferent sites had diferent rules concerning swinging ettiquette, as we believe no matter where you are in the world swingers ettiquette must mean the same all over?
do you agree or not?
hmm tricky one that cockslut.
I woould agree that people have there own mindset as to what they "think" something is.
Having said that if there was somewhere on this site that listed the definitions of what is a social, what is a party and what is a meet I would know exactly what it was on this site.
Now although I wouldn't expect everyone would read it, at least if someone was organising an event via Let's Meet up or the chatrooms entitled "BBQ 12th Aug", you could refer them to the definitions and ask which is it?
At the moment, if you asked them whether it was a social or a party they might not know the different or still have a different perception
it means the same yes.
doesnt mean that every person who's a member of a swinging site is a swinger, nor does it mean that everyone, swinger or not, pays attention to the etiquette though!
you've seen the quick shag brigade, you've seen the 'i've been here 2 weeks and still havent had a shag yet, what's wrong with you people' posts, and the directors in the chatroom who think its their right to get a show because a female has switched their cam on. Surely?
there's etiquette and there's people who blatantly dont give a shite about the 'unwritten rules' that form that etiquette, regardless of what site they're on.
doesnt mean that every person who's a member of a swinging site is a swinger, nor does it mean that everyone, swinger or not, pays attention to the etiquette though!
you've seen the quick shag brigade, you've seen the 'i've been here 2 weeks and still havent had a shag yet, what's wrong with you people' posts, and the directors in the chatroom who think its their right to get a show because a female has switched their cam on. Surely?
there's etiquette and there's people who blatantly dont give a shite about the 'unwritten rules' that form that etiquette, regardless of what site they're on.
i understand what your saying darkfire, but why would people join a swingers site (that now costs you) if they not swingers? if we're in chatroom and see a scotland meet tonight if we wasn't in scotland at that time we wouldnt join that room seems pointless, rather spend our time that may bring fruitian.
i got similar views regarding directors in chatrooms hence if we got the kick button they get KICKED.
i got similar views regarding directors in chatrooms hence if we got the kick button they get KICKED.
Quote by cockslut
i understand what your saying darkfire, but why would people join a swingers site (that now costs you) if they not swingers?
there are many people here who dont actually 'swing'. There are also many who 'swing' on and off, as and when it suits them due to family/ work/ stuff generally. Most importantly though, there's new people everyday who may simply be experimenting, exploring more about their sexuality and are dipping their toes in the water..... They might be considering swinging but havent yet made that decision - and its particularly these folk who are at the back of my mind in this thread, both in terms of not yet knowing the etiquette or definitions of what a social is/ isnt, and wandering feet first into something they didnt expect, or dont know how to deal with.
Quote by Darkfire
i understand what your saying darkfire, but why would people join a swingers site (that now costs you) if they not swingers?
there are many people here who dont actually 'swing'. There are also many who 'swing' on and off, as and when it suits them due to family/ work/ stuff generally. Most importantly though, there's new people everyday who may simply be experimenting, exploring more about their sexuality and are dipping their toes in the water..... They might be considering swinging but havent yet made that decision - and its particularly these folk who are at the back of my mind in this thread, both in terms of not yet knowing the etiquette or definitions of what a social is/ isnt, and wandering feet first into something they didnt expect, or dont know how to deal with.
Completely agree, at one point this community attracted non swingers who just wanted to be open minded, enjoy the banter, even non swingers like the flirting and attention, a few voyeurists etc.
Cx
this is all about helping newbies to understand what a social is,as some people feel its not worded correctly or doesnt have enough strict rules. although someones proposal for a re right has been locked now..i'm wondering how sincere some people are wanting to help newbies when ive just read a LMU thread where a single fem is new and looking for a shag (maybe straight to the point but she didnt say shag on first date etc) and immediatley shes sent to the photo ads section. feeding the cubs to the wolfs spring to mind. it wasnt till a mod stepped in and correctly pointed her in the right direction. now im not into police state situation but it begs the question should anyone on here offer help or should we leave it to the mods / admin team so newbies get the right sober help?
also there was a locked chatroom last night titled forum debate, if this post was on discussion can anyone whos contributed to this thread be invited next time or is there a conspiracy?
also there was a locked chatroom last night titled forum debate, if this post was on discussion can anyone whos contributed to this thread be invited next time or is there a conspiracy?
Quote by cockslut
this is all about helping newbies to understand what a social is,as some people feel its not worded correctly or doesnt have enough strict rules. although someones proposal for a re right has been locked now.
He was sent another site's MUNCH rules to publish as a suggestion for social rules. Not relevant and far too fussy for rules concerning a social
.i'm wondering how sincere some people are wanting to help newbies when ive just read a LMU thread where a single fem is new and looking for a shag (maybe straight to the point but she didnt say shag on first date etc) and immediatley shes sent to the photo ads section. feeding the cubs to the wolfs spring to mind. it wasnt till a mod stepped in and correctly pointed her in the right direction. now im not into police state situation but it begs the question should anyone on here offer help or should we leave it to the mods / admin team so newbies get the right sober help?
If you think you can offer valid advice then offer it, the Mods may not be around.
';m not sure sending someone to the ads is akin to throwing them to the wolves. OK maybe she'll get innundated with mail but if she's looking for a shag she might just get oneDidn't read the post though so just guessing
also there was a locked chatroom last night titled forum debate, if this post was on discussion can anyone whos contributed to this thread be invited next time or is there a conspiracy?
There's a conspiracy there always is:lol: :lol: :lol:
Jas
XXX
Sex God
Quote by cockslut
..also there was a locked chatroom last night titled forum debate, if this post was on discussion can anyone whos contributed to this thread be invited next time or is there a conspiracy?
Any chance it was THIS chatroom??
http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/swingers-forum/viewpost/795130.html#795130
Does that knacker the conspiracy theory Jas
Unless of course the op's were in disguise
Quote by the_Laird
..also there was a locked chatroom last night titled forum debate, if this post was on discussion can anyone whos contributed to this thread be invited next time or is there a conspiracy?
Any chance it was THIS chatroom??
http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/swingers-forum/viewpost/795130.html#795130
Does that knacker the conspiracy theory Jas
Unless of course the op's were in disguise
shhh you're not allowed to disprove them so easily, they have to build momentum over at least a week so you get the whole clique and them and us feel to it.
For chuffs sake Laird do you know nothing about conspiracy fostering
:lol: :lol: :lol: Jas
XXX
Anyways back to the topic.
Would it be enough to just add a couple of lines to the Social sticky in LMU, stating that Socials are non play events and should be clearly labelled as such.
Any play meets must also be clearly labelled and NOT advertised as Socials to limit confusion.
I know it's very simplistic, but does it need to be complex?
Edit: - Found Gems post now " A Social is a non -sexual, no playing event where the organiser has a discretionary choice over the attendees."
I think that's simple enough without forcing additional rules on people, the sticky is already there for people to be referred to as well.
Jas
XXX
Would it be enough to just add a couple of lines to the Social sticky in LMU, stating that Socials are non play events and should be clearly labelled as such.
Any play meets must also be clearly labelled and NOT advertised as Socials to limit confusion.
I know it's very simplistic, but does it need to be complex?
Edit: - Found Gems post now " A Social is a non -sexual, no playing event where the organiser has a discretionary choice over the attendees."
I think that's simple enough without forcing additional rules on people, the sticky is already there for people to be referred to as well.
Jas
XXX
I'd go with that Jas.
Only thing I'd add is a couple of comments about "No Charging" and "Don't Reveal Exact Locations"
The only other thing I'd suggest is that as there's been a large increase is chatroom meet organising, that it be added to the general site information as well or put in the chatroom guidelines.
Only thing I'd add is a couple of comments about "No Charging" and "Don't Reveal Exact Locations"
The only other thing I'd suggest is that as there's been a large increase is chatroom meet organising, that it be added to the general site information as well or put in the chatroom guidelines.
Quote by HornyLittleBlonde
I'd go with that Jas.
Only thing I'd add is a couple of comments about "No Charging" and "Don't Reveal Exact Locations"
The only other thing I'd suggest is that as there's been a large increase is chatroom meet organising, that it be added to the general site information as well or put in the chatroom guidelines.
Sorry I knew there was something else, but I was too busy looking for Gem's post because I liked her wording
I totally agree.
Does this need to be an Admin decision, or can the Mods do it, if they agree with the need please?
Jas
XXX
Well the mods have stickied rules in the forum before, but I don't know about site rules.
and to amend the chatroom rules would need the ops buy in as well.
Personally as it's something that affects the whole site, it would be good to have Admin,Mods & Ops all in agreement if any changes are made so we're all singing from the same Hymn sheet.
and to amend the chatroom rules would need the ops buy in as well.
Personally as it's something that affects the whole site, it would be good to have Admin,Mods & Ops all in agreement if any changes are made so we're all singing from the same Hymn sheet.
Quote by Jas-Tim
How about then
"A Social is a non -sexual, no playing event where the organiser has a discretionary choice over the attendees.
The organiser must not make a profit on any social event they choose to organise through this site
The location of the event should only be revealed to attendees"
Jas
XXX
:thumbup:
jas you can get the idea of how some people feel about the photo ad bridgade on here,quote "quick shag bridgade" because i ran an ad in photo section alongside a LMU forum it stopped some maybe all the forum members from asking to attend the social, they feel the photo ad bridgade are not the right people to attend a social because they may not act gentlemanly, thats why i suggested people with those views maybe shouldn't send a single fem into that area. i thought the mods reply was better info for her. to be honest i'm kicking myself because i seem to be defending people in the photo ads section and we have our views about there genuinity anyway but there not here to put there point across.
Cockslut
The comments about putting an add up were based that you'd put it in a category for males and it gave the perception that you were wanting their presence for sexual activities, not to enjoy a pint with them.
Again please don't misintepret my comment. I'm not saying you were, I'm just saying it could be percieved that way hence the confusion.
I certainly would not want to exclude someone from a social event just because they use one area of this site more than others.
The comments about putting an add up were based that you'd put it in a category for males and it gave the perception that you were wanting their presence for sexual activities, not to enjoy a pint with them.
Again please don't misintepret my comment. I'm not saying you were, I'm just saying it could be percieved that way hence the confusion.
I certainly would not want to exclude someone from a social event just because they use one area of this site more than others.
Quote by cockslut
jas you can get the idea of how some people feel about the photo ad bridgade on here,quote "quick shag bridgade" because i ran an ad in photo section alongside a LMU forum it stopped some maybe all the forum members from asking to attend the social, they feel the photo ad bridgade are not the right people to attend a social because they may not act gentlemanly . . . . . . . .
My opinion (for what it's worth)
I wouldn't say that the Photo Ads people aren't the right people to attend social events.
I would say that they might not be. Purely because we don't know enough about them in the same way and for the same reasons we don't enough about brand new members.
It's not just a question of acting gentlemanly. It cuts across both sexes and all orientations. And is about much more than simply their behaviour.
And for that reason alone, I would say that it is wrong to publicise Munches and Social events in the Photo Ads section.
morning by the way well afternoon now, i take on board your comments ,ok HLB perhaps i was being niave about that single guys might misrepresent what a social is,and surely hope they didn't think they was being invited to have sex in a public it happened from scores of replies no one showed up from that catagary anyway, (typical) hence is why i dont wanna keep defending them. our preference at the moment is meeting single guys, like a few of our regular couples hence the ad, like i said not to f**k in a public bar more to meet and chat in a safe place and if you gelled could meet another time after the social ended plus if i remember correctly there was an add running too at same time looking for tv / tv admirers as we was going onto a tv party in derby after closing if they didnt gell with us they was meeting others that they may of got on with one organiser put we enjoy using this venue and don't want to jepordise losing it.
if you read our current ad in LMU about next social i hope weve wrote it a little clearer so all can understand, was hoping not to put an ad in photo section this time but can't work out best way to promote the social in a chatroom, any ideas?
if you read our current ad in LMU about next social i hope weve wrote it a little clearer so all can understand, was hoping not to put an ad in photo section this time but can't work out best way to promote the social in a chatroom, any ideas?
I have been pondering…
and pondering some more….
and a bit more still…
I see the potential problems of confusion in the current use of the term ‘social’.
I do not feel that saying “well nothing bad has happened yet†is a responsible answer. Then again, it depends on how you define ‘bad’. Who knows if people haven’t already been disappointed or felt they had been in an uncomfortable situation and just gone away thinking ‘never again’. OK that may not be so bad - but do we really need to wait until something ‘really bad’ happens before we do anything at all?
I do not feel a set of rules is the answer - looking at the causes of the problem, I think a set of rules would be near on impossible to enforce and therefore to some degree pointless.
Whilst the people who have contributed to this thread by stating they didn’t see the problem (as they understood the differences in the different types of gatherings) in one way highlight that there is a problem (as they show there are expectations linked to certain terminology) they also in another way point to a solution…. sharing that understanding.
As I have already stated, I do not think a set of rules is the answer but I do like the idea of a reference point to guide people or to put it another way…. sharing that understanding.
Of course guidelines will only make a difference if people read them. Therefore the other part of this solution is ‘us‘. If we have an advice stickie or somewhere on the site, then we all need to play our part in helping to ‘share the understanding’ by referring as many people to them as possible.
I would suggest the reference point looks something like this…
(please note - I have not actually read this through other than as I typed - so I reserve the right to state it is a pile of bollocks)
Are you arranging a social or a group event for SH members?
If you are, then here are some tips which may be helpful towards making your event a success.
Be clear on what type of event it is, being vague to see how things go or using inappropriate titles may lead to some attendees being disappointed and your event not being as successful as it could have been. So let’s start with the title.
Naming your event a ‘Social’:
The term ‘social’ is generally understood to be people getting together for a friendly drink and a chat in a no-play environment, such as a pub - it is as simple as that. It is a chance to put some faces to names without the pressures of deciding there and then if you want to take things further.
If you are planning for people to meet at a pub or some other public place before moving on to another venue, such as a club or private adult party, then using the term ‘social’ will be misleading. You should make clear that people are only meeting for drinks before moving on to another venue, examples:
Pre Club Drinks
Pre Party Drinks
Naming your event a ‘Party’:
The term ‘party’ is not so clear, it may be understood as people getting together in an environment where play is or may be allowed. You should be very clear in your description of the event if you call it a ‘party’ as to whether you are allowing play or not.
Naming you event a ‘Meet’:
The term ‘meet’ is generally understood to be a gathering of people in an environment where play is or may be allowed. If you intend to arrange for people to get together in a pub before they decide if they want to be involved in any play, then again you should making this clear and we suggest you call this part of your event ‘Pre-Meet Drinks’
Letting people know about your event:
We would suggest you post your event in the ‘Let’s Meet Up’ section of the forum. People can pop in at anytime and read about your event and it will also give you a reference point to refer people to if they say they are interested . Make sure your post includes an appropriate title, the date of your event, the time of your event, which part of the country it will be held in and a clear description of what the event is for - even if you have used the appropriate title it makes things clearer for all if you specify if this is a play/no-play event. You should also make clear if people other than SH members will be attending.
Another benefit of posting your event in ‘Let’s Meet Up’ and people replying there is… it will help you keep track of who is coming and who needs to be given the details of the venue.
IMPORTANT: for your safety and the safety of others - you should never post, advertise or openly discuss in the chatroom the specific location of any event - this includes dogging meets.
By being clear and letting people know what your event is, you can ensure the most important thing of all - everyone is happy and enjoys themselves - Good Luck!
and pondering some more….
and a bit more still…
I see the potential problems of confusion in the current use of the term ‘social’.
I do not feel that saying “well nothing bad has happened yet†is a responsible answer. Then again, it depends on how you define ‘bad’. Who knows if people haven’t already been disappointed or felt they had been in an uncomfortable situation and just gone away thinking ‘never again’. OK that may not be so bad - but do we really need to wait until something ‘really bad’ happens before we do anything at all?
I do not feel a set of rules is the answer - looking at the causes of the problem, I think a set of rules would be near on impossible to enforce and therefore to some degree pointless.
Whilst the people who have contributed to this thread by stating they didn’t see the problem (as they understood the differences in the different types of gatherings) in one way highlight that there is a problem (as they show there are expectations linked to certain terminology) they also in another way point to a solution…. sharing that understanding.
As I have already stated, I do not think a set of rules is the answer but I do like the idea of a reference point to guide people or to put it another way…. sharing that understanding.
Of course guidelines will only make a difference if people read them. Therefore the other part of this solution is ‘us‘. If we have an advice stickie or somewhere on the site, then we all need to play our part in helping to ‘share the understanding’ by referring as many people to them as possible.
I would suggest the reference point looks something like this…
(please note - I have not actually read this through other than as I typed - so I reserve the right to state it is a pile of bollocks)
Are you arranging a social or a group event for SH members?
If you are, then here are some tips which may be helpful towards making your event a success.
Be clear on what type of event it is, being vague to see how things go or using inappropriate titles may lead to some attendees being disappointed and your event not being as successful as it could have been. So let’s start with the title.
Naming your event a ‘Social’:
The term ‘social’ is generally understood to be people getting together for a friendly drink and a chat in a no-play environment, such as a pub - it is as simple as that. It is a chance to put some faces to names without the pressures of deciding there and then if you want to take things further.
If you are planning for people to meet at a pub or some other public place before moving on to another venue, such as a club or private adult party, then using the term ‘social’ will be misleading. You should make clear that people are only meeting for drinks before moving on to another venue, examples:
Pre Club Drinks
Pre Party Drinks
Naming your event a ‘Party’:
The term ‘party’ is not so clear, it may be understood as people getting together in an environment where play is or may be allowed. You should be very clear in your description of the event if you call it a ‘party’ as to whether you are allowing play or not.
Naming you event a ‘Meet’:
The term ‘meet’ is generally understood to be a gathering of people in an environment where play is or may be allowed. If you intend to arrange for people to get together in a pub before they decide if they want to be involved in any play, then again you should making this clear and we suggest you call this part of your event ‘Pre-Meet Drinks’
Letting people know about your event:
We would suggest you post your event in the ‘Let’s Meet Up’ section of the forum. People can pop in at anytime and read about your event and it will also give you a reference point to refer people to if they say they are interested . Make sure your post includes an appropriate title, the date of your event, the time of your event, which part of the country it will be held in and a clear description of what the event is for - even if you have used the appropriate title it makes things clearer for all if you specify if this is a play/no-play event. You should also make clear if people other than SH members will be attending.
Another benefit of posting your event in ‘Let’s Meet Up’ and people replying there is… it will help you keep track of who is coming and who needs to be given the details of the venue.
IMPORTANT: for your safety and the safety of others - you should never post, advertise or openly discuss in the chatroom the specific location of any event - this includes dogging meets.
By being clear and letting people know what your event is, you can ensure the most important thing of all - everyone is happy and enjoys themselves - Good Luck!
Quote by the_Laird
..also there was a locked chatroom last night titled forum debate, if this post was on discussion can anyone whos contributed to this thread be invited next time or is there a conspiracy?
Any chance it was THIS chatroom??
http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/swingers-forum/viewpost/795130.html#795130
Does that knacker the conspiracy theory Jas
Unless of course the op's were in disguise
not sure it was password protected "locked" so couldnt gain entry.
Quote by cockslut
. . . was hoping not to put an ad in photo section this time but can't work out best way to promote the social in a chatroom, any ideas?
While this thread's been running, and reading other peoples' thoughts; I did ask the question in my head whether it was possible to have a "notice board" type thing within the chatrooms system.
I went off the idea as I think it would reinforce the already existing division between the forum and the chatroom, but I also have the thought that some Chatroom users actually wouldn't/don't to use or be part of the forum. I don't know. I'm still undecided about that :confused:
I know, under the old chatroom system people would often (not every 3 minutes) mention an upcoming munch/social/party etc in there, and indeed copy and paste a link into the chatroom. I don't know if that is still possible, or allowed.
Just a thought.
pretty brilliant polo except maybe, some may get confused as you wrote if theres an afters party for some maybe social isn't correct terminology but if you read the site rules regarding munchies (i always thought munchies was those little chocolate blocks in a red packet) sorry just my humour trying to shine through. they state its "PERFECTLY REASIONABLE" to go on to an afters party although your attendance can't be guaranted because bla..at that afters party.
having said that i wished i'd read that ,other month when our other LMU ad got dragged over burning coals because a guy added to it at a previous social some guys did meet up after the social, and if it's allowed for a strict munch surely its gotta be good enough for a lesser controlled social?
having said that i wished i'd read that ,other month when our other LMU ad got dragged over burning coals because a guy added to it at a previous social some guys did meet up after the social, and if it's allowed for a strict munch surely its gotta be good enough for a lesser controlled social?
