Terminology of "SH Social Gatherings"

1 Jul 2006

I am glad this has been brought up and it is something that i have noticed as well so thank you dammy...
I am in a dilema at the moment over this particular issue at the moment, there is a social that is being advertised that i would be interested in going to but i get the vibe that my sense of the word "social" and a lot of other people's interpretataion are 2 completely different things...
I had a word with the organisor to express my concerns and they were nice enough to try to put my mind at ease... and have left it to me to decide if i want to go or not...
I can see where the confusion would arise from... heck if we are confused, newbies are going to scratching heads...but the danger that we may get into is trying to pigeon-hole every type of event into a cateogry, and i wouldn't want to do that.....
maybe it is a distinct forum/chatroom split....... i don't know dunno

i do agree that chatroom meets should be labelled "room meets" though....
I am just rambling again......
sean xxxxxxxxxxx

1 Jul 2006

Quote by fabio grooverider
I can see where the confusion would arise from... heck if we are confused, newbies are going to scratching heads...

Very much part of the reason I started this.

Quote by fabio grooverider
but the danger that we may get into is trying to pigeon-hole every type of event into a cateogry, and i wouldn't want to do that.....

I disagree. Quite strongly. Not so much "pigeon hole" - but clear and easy distinctions and definitions. So there's no need every single time to have to explain and clear up the confusion and uncertainty surrounding social events. Of course - I'm talking about the events - not the people ! !
How much better would it be to just simply see a word (Munch, Mini, Social, Meet, Party etc) and know what to expect ?? On a selfish personal note - "Shall I travel 150 miles or not ?"

Quote by fabio grooverider
maybe it is a distinct forum/chatroom split....... i don't know i do agree that chatroom meets should be labelled "room meets" though....

The last thing I wanted to do was cause or feed any "them and us" debate. I love the integration between the two, in person, at socials. For many reasons.

1 Jul 2006

Quote by dambuster
The last thing I wanted to do was cause or feed any "them and us" debate. I love the integration between the two, in person, at socials. For many reasons.

While I agree that this shouldnt be a them and us thing - like I say, it is going to be difficult to discuss without, as we have got already, a chalkline between Socials and 'chatroom socials'.
I have argued this point recently over something similar - that we are all part of the 'swinging community' regardless of whether 'home' is on the forum, the chatroom, or other sites. The only exception , imo, are the quick shag brigade who dont understand the fundamentals of what 'swinging' is.
That siad, it is primarily chatroom meets organised by people who are regulars in the chatrooms for other people who use the chatrooms that we are discussing under the banner of what is / isnt a Munch/ Social/ Party/ Meet thread and the need for correct use (and understanding, and adhereing to) of terminology to describe each, is it not?

1 Jul 2006

Quote by PoloLady
. However.... the worrying thing is the amount of details openly discussed in there for all and sundry to note.

I have notice that in some of the Let's Meet Up threads, but luckily the Mods are quick to remove venue details etc.
The lack of thought does worry me sometimes. I know of a chatroom social that went a bit wrong when one couple decided to announce to the whole pub of vanillas that they were a group of swingers :shock:

1 Jul 2006

I would be interested to hear the views of those who are voting 'no, it doesnt matter' in the poll.

1 Jul 2006

Quote by Darkfire
I would be interested to hear the views of those who are voting 'no, it doesnt matter' in the poll.

Me too.
If anyone's worried about being "flamed" please don't. I am genuinely interested to read a balance of opinions on this topic and whilst I might not agree with them I will try & respect them.

1 Jul 2006

Quote by Darkfire

The last thing I wanted to do was cause or feed any "them and us" debate. I love the integration between the two, in person, at socials. For many reasons.

While I agree that this shouldnt be a them and us thing - like I say, it is going to be difficult to discuss without, as we have got already, a chalkline between Socials and 'chatroom socials'.
Ah - an interesting point ( to me at least )
I'm not sure whether 4T have rubbed out that chalkline, or written it in indelible ink by the introduction of the whole "unified log in" system. But it's here, and we have to both live with it and work round it.
I'm all for integration at social events, and indeed "playing" - provided we all integrate with each other.
I have argued this point recently over something similar - that we are all part of the 'swinging community' regardless of whether 'home' is on the forum, the chatroom, or other sites. The only exception , imo, are the quick shag brigade who dont understand the fundamentals of what 'swinging' is.
I agree entirely. I have very strong views on the subject of who is allowed to attend what. Views that aren't going to be very well received by those in authoritaaaaay. But I think, although inexorably linked, "attendees" is a whole other topic that deserves it's own discussion, rather than tagged on to this.
That siad, it is primarily chatroom meets organised by people who are regulars in the chatrooms for other people who use the chatrooms that we are discussing under the banner of what is / isnt a Munch/ Social/ Party/ Meet thread and the need for correct use (and understanding, and adhereing to) of terminology to describe each, is it not?
Does it not then become a question of education (for want of a better term) But I have to repeat myself by saying that there is no yardstick. No guidelines to which we can refer ??

1 Jul 2006

Quote by HornyLittleBlonde
I would be interested to hear the views of those who are voting 'no, it doesnt matter' in the poll.

Me too.
If anyone's worried about being "flamed" please don't. I am genuinely interested to read a balance of opinions on this topic and whilst I might not agree with them I will try & respect them.
ditto
cross my heart and hope to die biggrin

1 Jul 2006

Quote by Darkfire
I would be interested to hear the views of those who are voting 'no, it doesnt matter' in the poll.

Me too.
If anyone's worried about being "flamed" please don't. I am genuinely interested to read a balance of opinions on this topic and whilst I might not agree with them I will try & respect them.
ditto

If anyone wants or feels the need to post anonymously, PM me or HLB and we'll either post your comments, or just simply refer to them - as you wish.
I would guess Darkfire would also agree, but I can't be arsed to Pm her and ask :grin:

1 Jul 2006

Quote by dambuster
I would guess Darkfire would also agree, but I can't be arsed to Pm her and ask :grin:

you're a bloke lol

you know better than to enter my pm box :twisted: :lol:
but yes, i'll consider people's views by pm or anonymously - although I welcome open discussion in the thread too - nthat's what its there for wink

1 Jul 2006

Ok no matter what they are called,
I will always try to attend, as long as:-
I can afford it, get there, I know I will be safe from gate crashers etc, and know what 'type' of event it is...........
i.e. just drinks and a meal, or a swinging party, or bowling, ice skating etc.........so I know what to expect or join in with.

1 Jul 2006

Quote by Sarah
Ok no matter what they are called,
I will always try to attend, as long as:-
... I know I will be safe from gate crashers etc, and know what 'type' of event it is...........
i.e. just drinks and a meal, or a swinging party, or bowling, ice skating etc.........so I know what to expect or join in with.

but isnt that exactly the point Sarah? how can you know what to expect when what means one thing to someone people obviously means something different to others?
how do you know the venue is safe from gatecrashers when you dont have a clue who the majority of people are who're attending? how can you guarantee safety in a venue that's open to vanillas? or when the location is compromised somewhere in the thread? etc dunno

1 Jul 2006

Quote by Darkfire
Ok no matter what they are called,
I will always try to attend, as long as:-
... I know I will be safe from gate crashers etc, and know what 'type' of event it is...........
i.e. just drinks and a meal, or a swinging party, or bowling, ice skating etc.........so I know what to expect or join in with.

but isnt that exactly the point Sarah? how can you know what to expect when what means one thing to someone people obviously means something different to others?
how do you know the venue is safe from gatecrashers when you dont have a clue who the majority of people are who're attending? how can you guarantee safety in a venue that's open to vanillas? or when the location is compromised somewhere in the thread? etc dunno

I hope that when I read the first post of any type of social type event, that who ever is arranging it, has made it very clear, as to what type of event this is, and if it is not clear to me, I pm the arranger and ask them, any point I might have, when they have answered my questions, then I post in the thread for an invite if I still want to attend, or if not, I pm them back, not I wont be attending but I hope you all have a good time, or something like that.
cool

1 Jul 2006

I've voted yes on the poll.
Sarah
I think the point that Dammie and others are making is that, if it were clearly defined before hand so that everyone organising and/or hoping to attend socials/meets/munches/parties or whatever, knew what to expect, then it would remove that PM ping pong in the first instance. Obviously there are finer points that sometimes need to be questioned, but generally, if ithe setting and expectations are made clear, then it reduces the chance for confusion.

1 Jul 2006

Quote by Sarah
Ok no matter what they are called,
I will always try to attend, as long as:-
... I know I will be safe from gate crashers etc, and know what 'type' of event it is...........
i.e. just drinks and a meal, or a swinging party, or bowling, ice skating etc.........so I know what to expect or join in with.

but isnt that exactly the point Sarah? how can you know what to expect when what means one thing to someone people obviously means something different to others?
how do you know the venue is safe from gatecrashers when you dont have a clue who the majority of people are who're attending? how can you guarantee safety in a venue that's open to vanillas? or when the location is compromised somewhere in the thread? etc dunno

I hope that when I read the first post of any type of social type event, that who ever is arranging it, has made it very clear, as to what type of event this is, and if it is not clear to me, I pm the arranger and ask them, any point I might have, when they have answered my questions, then I post in the thread for an invite if I still want to attend, or if not, I pm them back, not I wont be attending but I hope you all have a good time, or something like that.
cool

You've been around the block though Sarah and an old hand at the social thing. Not everyone is in that same boat.
To quote the site terminologyâ€¦.

A munch is a purely social event held in a totally neutral environment, often somewhere like a pub, where members of Swinging Heaven get to meet each other. As there's no play involved everyone can relax which gives newbies a chance to ask questions of the more experienced without any fear of getting jumped on, and gives the regulars time to catch-up with old friends and make new ones.

There is obvious confusion amongst many newbies/chat-peeps as to what is what.. I have seen a significant number of people chatting away about munches.... their opinion of what a munch is being - a piss-up where everyone goes back to a hotel and shags each other (i wonder where they got that idea from???)
Some people associate the term 'munch' (and to some degree 'social') with the term 'safe environment' - these people have not been around as much as people such as yourself and may not think to ask a number of questions of the organiser.
There was one 'social' recently being discussed in the chatroom (with 30+ users) where the women where being encouraged to attend in sexy outfits more suited to a club - of course that wouldn't open any possibilities when the drunken lads in the pub get an eye-full would it?
I have seen venues being openly discussed and single guys (no offence guys) commenting they would see if their 'mates' where free.
You may well ask your questions and get reassuring answers - but all it takes is some twat in the chatroom to start blabbing (as they do) and the answers which have reassured you mean nothing at all.
I don't know if it naivety or stupidity but there are plenty of people in the chatrooms who will just blurt-out anything and everything - I have lost count of the times I have told people not to discuss dogging venues and the times they are going there (for both their safety and the safety of others).

1 Jul 2006

Quote by PoloLady
You've been around the block though Sarah and an old hand at the social thing. Not everyone is in that same boat.
To quote the site terminologyâ€¦.
A munch is a purely social event held in a totally neutral environment, often somewhere like a pub, where members of Swinging Heaven get to meet each other. As there's no play involved everyone can relax which gives newbies a chance to ask questions of the more experienced without any fear of getting jumped on, and gives the regulars time to catch-up with old friends and make new ones.

There is obvious confusion amongst many newbies/chat-peeps as to what is what.. I have seen a significant number of people chatting away about munches.... their opinion of what a munch is being - a piss-up where everyone goes back to a hotel and shags each other (i wonder where they got that idea from???)
Some people associate the term 'munch' (and to some degree 'social') with the term 'safe environment' - these people have not been around as much as people such as yourself and may not think to ask a number of questions of the organiser.
There was one 'social' recently being discussed in the chatroom (with 30+ users) where the women where being encouraged to attend in sexy outfits more suited to a club - of course that wouldn't open any possibilities when the drunken lads in the pub get an eye-full would it?
I have seen venues being openly discussed and single guys (no offence guys) commenting they would see if their 'mates' where free.
You may well ask your questions and get reassuring answers - but all it takes is some twat in the chatroom to start blabbing (as they do) and the answers which have reassured you mean nothing at all.
I don't know if it naivety or stupidity but there are plenty of people in the chatrooms who will just blurt-out anything and everything - I have lost count of the times I have told people not to discuss dogging venues and the times they are going there (for both their safety and the safety of others).
Some fantastic points there Polo and something thats bothered me for a while now.
I wish we could go back to the straight forward Munch. Where those attending knew exactly what the criteria for attending was. Now thats not to say that some people overstepped boundaries, there was but they were few and far between.
Personally speaking, I wouldn't touch some of the socials with a barge pole unless they were organised by people I knew, I'd met or I knew were trusted.
I dont like the fact that there seems to be a total lack of security at times.
Will we ever get back to the traditional munch??
I hope so wink

their opinion of what a munch is being - a piss-up where everyone goes back to a hotel and shags each other (i wonder where they got that idea from???)

even as a newbie couple on the scene, regardless of what was arranged for after the Munch, people knew and respected the rules at the venue.
It's a pity so many people tried to change the formula that worked confused

2 Jul 2006

Quote by PoloLady
their opinion of what a munch is being - a piss-up where everyone goes back to a hotel and shags each other (i wonder where they got that idea from???)

Is it?? :shock: :shock: :shock: Why do we never go to one like that sad

:( :(

2 Jul 2006

Quote by Sarah
I hope that when I read the first post of any type of social type event, that who ever is arranging it, has made it very clear, as to what type of event this is,

The point being - I and a few others are finding that NOT to be the case.

Quote by Sarah
and if it is not clear to me, I pm the arranger and ask them, any point I might have,

You and I both know that of the few pains in the arse about arranging a Munch/Social; maintaining the list and the PM tennis are two that take up most time. In fact, I would go as far as to to say they are the only real time consuming/"work" involved.
I know it will never get to the stage where everyonefeels the need to PM and ask "What is it really ?" But when people that have "been round the block" (TM PoloLady ) and Munch Organisers in their own right have to ask ! ? ! ? ! ? ! ? Then surely it becomes at the very least a subject for discussion and possibly action, rather than dismissed as a "non-subject"
In addition to the 150 + (?) posts and PMs normally generated by a Munch thread, how many more couldthere be asking what should be, unnecessary questions ?
An explanatory post in the thread ???????
How many times have we seen organisers and others use the phrase "If you read all the thread , blahblahbalh . . . ."
It's a known fact that not many read all posts in a 12 page thread.
Oh - and Shireen ?
Because I'm over 40 wink

2 Jul 2006

Why not just simplify things and just call them either Play Meetâ€™s, Non Play Meetâ€™s.
O and by the way im mainly a chatter, but I have grate love for you posters. I refuse to be held back by a line smile

.

2 Jul 2006

Quote by Sharif
Why not just simplify things and just call them either Play Meetâ€™s, Non Play Meetâ€™s.
O and by the way im mainly a chatter, but I have grate love for you posters. I refuse to be held back by a line .

They are socials and munches; meets for play are arranged between individuals or couples.
Although the behaviour of some people at the actual social/munch often makes the 'social/munch/vanilla' terminology a load of bollox.
Oh, and hotel shags? We're not usually invited for any of those, but know that they happen.

2 Jul 2006

Quote by Freckledbird
They are socials and munches; meets for play are arranged between individuals or couples.
Although the behaviour of some people at the actual social/munch often makes the 'social/munch/vanilla' terminology a load of bollox.
Oh, and hotel shags? We're not usually invited for any of those, but know that they happen.

Yes but having too many terms seems to be confusing things, So why not go back to basic's and come up with simpler descriptions, thatâ€™s give's an idea as to whatâ€™s in the tin as it were.

2 Jul 2006

what is so different now at munches to the 'traditional munch'?

3 Jul 2006

well i've read and tried to digest the differences betwen munches, mini munches and socials but had to smile to myself ,cos most of the peeps on here don't even read your profiles properly never mind pages of rules etc.

3 Jul 2006

Quote by cockslut
well i've read and tried to digest the differences betwen munches, mini munches and socials but had to smile to myself ,cos most of the peeps on here don't even read your profiles properly never mind pages of rules etc.

That's very true, but at least if they are there, people can be referred to them - as they are referred to the AUP as and when necessary.

3 Jul 2006

I voted yes - I was a member of another site for several years and the term Munch, although very similar, actually had different meaning. I found this out when I started talking about Munches on here. redface

I think it's good if we can all be singing off the same song sheet, or at least try to!

3 Jul 2006

Ok it is official I have been round the block!! lol

3 Jul 2006

I can't be bothered to drawl through the posts so far, so I'll just throw in my tu'pence worth and bugger off again.

Quote by dambuster
But more often lately, the term â€œSocialâ€ is being used. Partly, I believe, to get round/comply with the rules contained in the official Munch definition and the posting across two or more other sites.
:

This is where most of the confusion has arisen. Munches being renamed as Socials to get around people from other sites attending. At one point, a private party I went to was taken to PM and the thread locked because non members were going :shock: FFS
To me, the main Munch / Social definition has always been determined by the venue, private room or open pub/venue. It has nothing to do with playing at the event, that generally happens elsewhere afterwards and by invite only. A private room/venue allows more revealing dress, antics and so on, while an open pub has be dealt with in the appropriate manner, as families could be about.
A "Social" so named to get around rules, could be simply be called an "Open Munch" or "Open Social", again determined by the venue, dress code, newbies and so on.
Of course, like our government, an idea such as this may be too simple to comprehend as it does not generate income.
Private parties will always remain private.

3 Jul 2006

Quote by Phoenix
I can't be bothered to drawl through the posts so far, so I'll just throw in my tu'pence worth and bugger off again.
But more often lately, the term â€œSocialâ€ is being used. Partly, I believe, to get round/comply with the rules contained in the official Munch definition and the posting across two or more other sites.
:

This is where most of the confusion has arisen. Munches being renamed as Socials to get around people from other sites attending. At one point, a private party I went to was taken to PM and the thread locked because non members were going :shock: FFS
To me, the main Munch / Social definition has always been determined by the venue, private room or open pub/venue. It has nothing to do with playing at the event, that generally happens elsewhere afterwards and by invite only. A private room/venue allows more revealing dress, antics and so on, while an open pub has be dealt with in the appropriate manner, as families could be about.
A "Social" so named to get around rules, could be simply be called an "Open Munch" or "Open Social", again determined by the venue, dress code, newbies and so on.
Of course, like our government, an idea such as this may be too simple to comprehend as it does not generate income.
Private parties will always remain private.
I'm sorry but what has generating income got to do with munches and socials, as far as I'm aware there is never a charge for going to them, voluntary contributions yes, but no charges and definitely no profit.
Apologies I think I'm in a strange mood this afternoon, must be the heat.

3 Jul 2006

Quote by Alleyson
[I'm sorry but what has generating income got to do with munches and socials, as far as I'm aware there is never a charge for going to them, voluntary contributions yes, but no charges and definitely no profit.
.

Not for the Munches rolleyes

, the site ... it's commercial. Commercial companies don't advertise other products unless there is profit in it for them. Why should SH allow advertisement of "gatherings" that are also advertised elsewhere, sometimes for free.
That was my point on the issue of renamimg of "Munches" to get around rules, it's not for "the good of swinging and the community", it's for money.

3 Jul 2006

There's always one wanting to bring politics into a good discussion rolleyes

For the record Phoenix, the owners of SH haven't changed any rules on munches or socials advertised on the forum. If any changes have been made, it has nothing at all to do with the SH admin team or profits :roll:
Socials can and are posted on more than one site. Munches are support by SH and are only advertised here, how does that affect money dunno

Does it matter ?