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The art of coarse sweet talking...

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Heather
Sex God
Let me make this perfectly clear THIS POST IS WRITTEN FROM A PERSONAL PERSPECTIVE. IT IS NOT A MODERATOR'S MISSIVE.
So... a couple of days ago, I was minding my own beeswax :happy: and whilst rejoicing in the burgening signs of spring :happy:, I was still trying to convince myself my gallstones ( :crazy: ) were not real after all.
Then I get this email: (parts of which have been removed to hide the sender's identity)
:small-print:
I hope you dont mind me sending this e mail
Just seen your pics on Heathers Personal Pages in your new purple basque
I'm in Heaven
God what a body!
I'm STIFF just looking at them.
I'm average height and weight. I have a reasonably firm
body
Would it be possible to meet you for a really good FUCK after fondling you,
licking you and caressing you all over.
I love the Female body in all its many shapes and sizes! I particularly like the
bigger woman. To me every Woman's body is very exciting.
I would like to extend my massively ERECT pulsating DICK
anywhere you desire!
I love performing for a camera (or with other people watching). It just makes
more horny.
I have a HARDON just thinking about you!
I've attached a pic to this e mail
Please send some more of your pics in return.
Thanks
Get in touch!

Now... this is probably in all definitions a really nice person... but this email is RUDE I'd like this person to ask themselves this: Just because I publish pornographic photographs of myself, what makes you think I'm gagging to be written to in this manner? And to coin a growing SH expression; would you speak to a woman at bus stop in the way?
And I know I've said all this before (sigh)... but if we don't point out where people are going wrong, guys will be met with the same reaction over and over and over... and then they'll all start bleating about this site not working.
I do love people admiring my photos and I thank you for your comments... but you know nothing about my personal circumstances. Can you not take the time to show a little respect and approach me in a polite and less forthright manner?
Hxx... In a bad mood after 36 hours of yaking down the big white telephone.
the_tongue
Orgasminator
The art of sweet talking is dying Heather,thats the sort of rubbish you have to contend with nowadays.
Courtesy and repest open far more doors than rudeness.
Unknown User
Who ever it was is clearly from the old school of marketing, what with the uppercase key words biggrin . But in all seriousness Heather I see and agree with your point.
Hope you feel better soon, big white telephones have feelings too wink
Unknown User
You really have my sympathy Heather.
Why not try e-mailing them a gift - incorporating a message about themselves
DreamerHelen
Sex God
That is appalling Heather!!! sad
But not all guys are like that.....a guy that I'm meeting up with soon, said "yes I want to f**k you" but I also want to "walk hand in hand, sweep you up in kisses on the street, give you flowers, dance romantically in a room alone, open doors for you and whisper sweet nothings in your ear".
So it's just a case of hunting for him and you will find a gentleman out there somewhere....
RedHot
Sex God
Quote by Heather
Let me make this perfectly clear THIS POST IS WRITTEN FROM A PERSONAL PERSPECTIVE. IT IS NOT A MODERATOR'S MISSIVE.
I hope you dont mind me sending this e mail
Just seen your pics on Heathers Personal Pages in your new purple basque
I'm in Heaven
God what a body!
I'm STIFF just looking at them.
I'm average height and weight. I have a reasonably firm
body
Would it be possible to meet you for a really good FUCK after fondling you,
licking you and caressing you all over.
I love the Female body in all its many shapes and sizes! I particularly like the
bigger woman. To me every Woman's body is very exciting.
I would like to extend my massively ERECT pulsating DICK
anywhere you desire!
I love performing for a camera (or with other people watching). It just makes
more horny.
I have a HARDON just thinking about you!
I've attached a pic to this e mail
Please send some more of your pics in return.
Thanks
Get in touch!

Now... this is probably in all definitions a really nice person... but this email is RUDE I'd like this person to ask themselves this: Just because I publish pornographic photographs of myself, what makes you think I'm gagging to be written to in this manner? And to coin a growing SH expression; would you speak to a woman at bus stop in the way?
Can you not take the time to show a little respect and approach me in a polite and less forthright manner?
Hxx... In a bad mood after 36 hours of yaking down the big white telephone.
Heather hope you feel better soon!
I understand your exasperation with these type of emails. I get similar stuff on a regular basis and find it most distasteful rolleyes
What really gets my goat is when guys ask you to pvt with them on the chatroom. It starts off fine, general chat etc and very quickly deteriorates into nothing short of lewd base behaviour :cry: If someone spoke to me like that in a pub etc, I'd slap his face :shock:
Why do guys assume because you're chatting with them, that you will quite happily send them some pics to wank over?!!! One guy local to us, asked me for some pics a couple of weeks ago. We were discussing whether we would arrange a meet with him, and he calmly informed me he would need to do a wank test first.
This it seems, would involve me sending him some pics of me, naked or in erotic underwear so that he could wank on them. If the pics 'did it for him' he would be happy to meet with us!!!!! mad banghead
Christ! I know it's been quiet on the dogging front recently but we're not so desperate that we would have to wait around for HIM!!! :roll:
I used to get mad about this stuff, but now take it with a pinch of salt and I expect you normally would too. Feeling unwell probably makes it harder to digest right now though lol
Terry-Jayne
Heather
Sex God
Feeling unwell probably makes it harder to digest right now though

Oh, strewth! lol :lol:
Is there a comedian in the house? PLEASE!! rolleyes
Actually... I'm gonna spend a bit of time later writing about all the GOOD guys I've met via SH - Mal biggrin 609 being one of them.
But please, PLEASE... what can we do to make sure new members (and some women behave like this too!) see and read ALL the advice before firing off emails and ads?
Any thoughts?
Hxx
Unknown User
Quote by Hertsman
Who ever it was is clearly from the old school of marketing, what with the uppercase key words......

Quote by Heather
Is there a comedian in the house? PLEASE!!
Actually... I'm gonna spend a bit of time later writing about all the GOOD guys I've met via......

There ya go Heather. Youve got something in common with your would be admirer after all..............you're both from the old school of marketing! biggrin
Steve rolleyes
fem_4_taboo
Sex God
not alot to say except glad im not the only one, and kinda makes me smile now when i get these e-mails cuse i just think , " well another sad twat who rotflmao goes without meeting the fabulous amazing in bed, great conversationalist me " pmsl
prcd4u
Warming the Bed
no what you mean heather people are all to quick to judge and think they can be like that because the topic has to do with sex.... what happened to good old british inuendos a nice reserved britain where women wanted nothing more than a cup of cream tea and some sticky fingers!!!!!!! lol
tall_dark_n_havesome
Sexpert
oh..just for the chance to be polite, witty, flirtatious and sensual....
roger743
Sex God
We should have a competition to re-write that mess in the best way possible. Winner gets... a fluffy polo mint?
Mal
Mod
Quote by Heather

Actually... I'm gonna spend a bit of time later writing about all the GOOD guys I've met via SH - Mal biggrin 609 being one of them.
Hxx

kiss :kiss: :kiss:
Don't you just love her to bits!!
Mal
lol
Unknown User
Quote by roger743
We should have a competition to re-write that mess in the best way possible. Winner gets... a fluffy polo mint?

oooooo......anything for a fluffy polo mint: 8)
I hope you dont mind me sending this e mail
Just seen your pics on Heathers Personal Pages in your new purple basque
I'm in Heaven
God what a body!
I'm STIFF just looking at them.
I'm average height and weight. I have a reasonably firm
body
Would it be possible to meet you for a really good FUCK after fondling you,
licking you and caressing you all over.
I love the Female body in all its many shapes and sizes! I particularly like the
bigger woman. To me every Woman's body is very exciting.
I would like to extend my massively ERECT pulsating DICK
anywhere you desire!
I love performing for a camera (or with other people watching). It just makes
more horny.
I have a HARDON just thinking about you!
I've attached a pic to this e mail

Translation:
Hi Heather,
I found your pictures on Swinging Heaven so arousing that I just had to write to you. Your choice of lingerie was perfect and you looked wonderful in your purple basque. I’ve always been attracted to the fuller figure but wow, those pictures are just so sexy I can still feel their effect! :shock:
I’m a pretty average guy but I do try to look after myself and keep in shape. I’ve attached a picture so you can see who I am. Fingers crossed you like it because I’d hate to fall over at the first hurdle.
I’d be delighted if we could correspond and possibly meet. Maybe you could tell me about your experiences in front of the camera because I’d love to do something similar myself. If you’ve got any more pictures that might provide a little more inspiration I’d love to see them. Then again, the effect of seeing the first set of pictures still hasn’t worn off! biggrin
I do hope you get in touch, like I said before I’d be delighted to hear from you.
Steve

maybe a bit too gushy but hey........you didn't say it had to work.
Steve
(where's my fluffy polo mint?)
Kinky_Lizard
Sex God
I hope to be reborn in a world were all women are dirty, filthy pervs. They would be the ones sending us guys shockingly lurid details of what they would want to do to us, and sending us crotch pics of female front bottoms.
Ah yes! What a wonderful world that would be (Louis Armstrong wrote a song about it ya’ know)
Swinging Heaven would be made up of the ratio 9:1 in favour of women. All you would have to do is post an ad with a picture of yourself sporting a pair of fashionable briefs to be inundated with rampant females desperate for
a really good FUCK after fondling you, licking you and caressing you all over

You’d arrive home after a hard day at the office (fighting off the secretary) log on to SH only to find 50 PMs waiting for you. All from sex crazed women……Oh! I couldn’t stand it!!!
“Not again please!!! No more front bottoms, pleeeeeze” wink
Well, knowing my luck I’d come back as Ghandi or Dale Winton. biggrin
Kinky Lizard
Unknown User
Quote by Kinky Lizard
I hope to be reborn in a world were all women are dirty, filthy pervs. They would be the ones sending us guys shockingly lurid details of what they would want to do to us, and sending us crotch pics of female front bottoms.
Ah yes! What a wonderful world that would be (Louis Armstrong wrote a song about it ya’ know)

Hasn't this already been done on 'The Two Ronnies'? Not what it was all 'cracked' up to be if I remember rightly. lol
Steve
Kinky_Lizard
Sex God
Not what it was all 'cracked' up to be if I remember rightly.

Deep breath........Well, Steve, I'd be prepared to give it a go! wink
.........and relax.
Unknown User
Quote by steveg_nw
Translation:
Hi Heather,
I found your pictures on Swinging Heaven so arousing that I just had to write to you. Your choice of lingerie was perfect and you looked wonderful in your purple basque. I’ve always been attracted to the fuller figure but wow, those pictures are just so sexy I can still feel their effect! :shock:
I’m a pretty average guy but I do try to look after myself and keep in shape. I’ve attached a picture so you can see who I am. Fingers crossed you like it because I’d hate to fall over at the first hurdle.
I’d be delighted if we could correspond and possibly meet. Maybe you could tell me about your experiences in front of the camera because I’d love to do something similar myself. If you’ve got any more pictures that might provide a little more inspiration I’d love to see them. Then again, the effect of seeing the first set of pictures still hasn’t worn off! biggrin
I do hope you get in touch, like I said before I’d be delighted to hear from you.
Steve

maybe a bit too gushy but hey........you didn't say it had to work.
Steve
(where's my fluffy polo mint?)
OMG!!..... steveg I'm in love.........
You smooooooooooooooooooth talker you.......... kiss
Unknown User
Quote by Heather
:small-print:
I hope you dont mind me sending this e mail
Just seen your pics on Heathers Personal Pages in your new purple basque
I'm in Heaven
God what a body!
I'm STIFF just looking at them.
I'm average height and weight. I have a reasonably firm
body
Would it be possible to meet you for a really good FUCK after fondling you,
licking you and caressing you all over.
I love the Female body in all its many shapes and sizes! I particularly like the
bigger woman. To me every Woman's body is very exciting.
I would like to extend my massively ERECT pulsating DICK
anywhere you desire!
I love performing for a camera (or with other people watching). It just makes
more horny.
I have a HARDON just thinking about you!
I've attached a pic to this e mail
Please send some more of your pics in return.
Thanks
Get in touch!

I agree totally Heather..... That email would have made me mad big time!!.......
I find that there are alot (not all!!) of single guys who come on this site and think that because we are on here we are all gagging for it.... I have turned down loads of guys who have replied to our ad, and ones that have approached me in the chat room purely because of their preconcieved idea that I will shag anything..... The best is when they want to know why you dont want to know, and cant take it in that unless there is an attraction I wont go there.....
My advice to them is.......
If you were trying to get a girl to go out with you, or establish a relationship.... Would you speak to her like that????.........
Just my opinion mind........ biggrin
SiGo1
Sexpert
I stopped bothering about the direct "long ball" thats the way they want to do it thats up to them.I do feel sorry for those of you who have to be on its receiving end :taz:
harry0
Orgasminator
It caused me no little amazement to find that some males speak that way at all. Chat lines like that sent to Heather get what they deserve. I.e. NOTHING.
I may be 'old fashioned', or 'a romantic', but I firmly believe that being polite, gentile and kind, works wonders, when asking for a date or a meeting. Having succeeded in getting a meeting arranged, I would try and ascertain those flowers, wine and/or chocolates the lady preferred, and would endeavour to supply these on arrival.
The rude and crude approach may work with one or two women, but I would bet that even they, would prefer a more gentile approach.
To Heather, I would suggest she simply replied. 'Call me again in 1000 years time, your attitude needs some attention'
Harry0
I may be old, I may be ugly, but I am polite to ladies. kiss
Unknown User

God Mal .. you are the blue eyed boy arent ya?!!!..
Now as far as i know im not gay, but blimey!! even im curious now rotflmao
Kidding...
Fair play to you mate wink
Magik
nw_sexy_guy
Forum Virgin
Problem is, many guys read porn mags and believe that women are like the stories in them.
If you don't believe me, buy one and check one of the stories out for the "sweet talk"
No wonder guys can't get laid...
Dave.