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The best laid plans....

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Sappho has taken Sappho Jr for her second (off road so far) driving lesson. This leaves me in charge of the Decadence Twins and Will Jr. Not a problem - done that hundreds of times before. Now, how do I entertain them for a couple of hours? How about a little gardening?
We are not into house plants. In fact, we have only one. An orchid that was given to us by a much loved friend. Now, Sappho doesn't really 'do' plants or gardening so it's left to me to water it occasionally. Fortunately, orchids prefer to be left to their own devices most of the time and it has, so far, thrived on neglect. It currently has two full blooms and about four other buds. However, it has clearly outgrown the pot that it came in. The roots are coming out over the top of the pot and the root-mass is such that it has displaced almost all of the soil, so I have bought a larger pot.
I thought it would be nice to get the children to help me re-pot and water the orchid before Sappho came home.
Admonishing them to treat the delicate little flower with care and threatening them with horrendous consequences should any damage occur, we carry the old pot downstairs and outside where the new pot and a bag of compost are waiting.
Carefully, I put the pot down and turn round to get the new pot and some compost.
As I do so, I detect a slight movement out of the corner of my eye. I turn round just in time to see the plant topple over, as if in slow motion. There is a soft but unmistakable 'snap' as the one and only stem, bearing the flowers and buds, hits the wall and breaks off.
There is silence and the children look at me. Then one says, "You've broken mummy's flower."
Now what do I do? Well, I carried on and re-potted what was left and the windowsill upstairs now has a beautifully re-potted - but totally naked - orchid.
Sappho is due home any moment now! :doh:
Will
lol
Dearest Will,
Commiserations on your plant smashing time. I'm sure it was rather a lot of fun to learn to juggle with your delectable partner's favourite breakable and beloved plants, however, it was not very wise. The circus act you strove to achieve has already been filled and the previous advertised position of orchid chucker was removed due health and safety considerations. Poor Bill never really recovered from whence the orchids were... well we shan't discuss the details in light of the current circumstances.
Our advice to you, would be to quickly gather all remaining flowers, stems and orchid parts and stick them back to the stems with Cellotape. This attempt to mend Sappho's flower might just be your saving grace.
We earnestly hope Sappho does not notice the difference. Although, I check my orchids quite often and glow with pride that they have managed to flower, so may I suggest a plan B.
Plan B consists of a sleeping bag, a torch and the garden shed.
Yours.
LG. x x x
Will,
Superglue the broken bit back on wink
Failing that go to tesco's they had some for about £15...............select the right colour, she'll never notice the difference.
bolt
Kaz, I'm afraid my conscience wouldn't allow me to blame the kids when it wasn't their fault.
Sarah, it's Sunday so Tesco shut at 4:00pm!
Now, normally, I am proud that I am bringing up my children to be honest. Normally.
We heard the front door open and, in a flash, one of the twins bolted down the hallway yelling, "Mummy, mummy. Daddy's broken your flower." Of course, I would have told her anyway, but I would have rather let her get in and make herself comfortable, then I would have made her a cup of coffee. Perhaps given her some chocolate.
Anyway, she took it with good grace.
I have my torch and sleeping bag. Fortunately, the shed is within range of the wireless router so it's just a question of how long the battery lasts. Actually, I can probably run an extension lead out from the utility room window.
As I said - time for the cocktail bar!
Will sad
You didn't take any advice on repotting the orchid from Dave Notts did you?
This has got him written all over it!! :giggle:
Aaaawww...kids!!!
Sorry Will!
bolt
Quote by Dirtygirly
You didn't take any advice on repotting the orchid from Dave Notts did you?
This has got him written all over it!! :giggle:
No, I am afraid this was all my own work!
Will rolleyes
Darling DG - kiss :kiss: :kiss:
Little did we know that that shed was actually.....
The SH Bar! :shock:
Shhhhh, don't tell everyone.
Party at my place :happy: :bounce:
Will :cool:
Bloody hell, CherryB - that brings back some memories!
Well, I'm here and ready to serve! :twisted:
Will
There is a little sign over the shed door:
Willxx69 - Licensed to Serve
(though not to re-pot orchids!)
Sappho x
hmm...to be fair Will....I suppose you could say you performed an 'orchidectomy'.....only fair she perform an orchidectomy on you in return (google the surgical term orchidectomy!!)
wink smile lol :lol: :lol: