Just read this article...
Particularly like it where they say "... suggests that our young men are suffering from a new form of 'arousal addiction'..." because of an addiction to video games and online porn...
Is that new??? Really?? Ok, granted - computers and the Internet are relatively new in the history of the world. But, there's always been porn! (always thought porn was the reason they invented the Internet!)
And what's wrong with being addicted to arousal anyway...??!!
Lilith xx
Join the most popular community of UK swingers now
Login
The Demise of Guys??
last reply
10 replies
1.3k views
0 watchers
0 likes
Warming the Bed
Despite what the frankly barmy mad idiots at The Guardian say the male sex drive is, has and always will be larger than the females. So yes ever since man first learned to paint pictures on the wall of a cave we have had porn!
Having said that the internet is on such a different level to anything that has ever come before that addiction to it will become a serious issue. Already now there are cases in South Korea, Japan and China becoming so immersed in alternative reality games that they neglect themselves and their loved ones in real life! Cases have involved both sexes.
Having said that the internet is on such a different level to anything that has ever come before that addiction to it will become a serious issue. Already now there are cases in South Korea, Japan and China becoming so immersed in alternative reality games that they neglect themselves and their loved ones in real life! Cases have involved both sexes.
Sexpert
Quote by bayboy1664
Despite what the frankly barmy mad idiots at The Guardian say the male sex drive is, has and always will be larger than the females. So yes ever since man first learned to paint pictures on the wall of a cave we have had porn!
When married to my 'ex' I would have to agree with you, but now I'm not so sure.... I would say the 'sex drives' of men and women are different, and in particular the way that the different sexes become aroused.
Quote by bayboy1664
Having said that the internet is on such a different level to anything that has ever come before that addiction to it will become a serious issue. Already now there are cases in South Korea, Japan and China becoming so immersed in alternative reality games that they neglect themselves and their loved ones in real life! Cases have involved both sexes.
Having read the original article posted by Inanna I agree with the title, and some of the observations, in that men in their teens and early twenties do seem to be emotionally maladjusted. I'm not convinced that the cause is either the Internet, nor indeed the availability of pornography.
Sexpert
Quote by bayboy1664
Despite what the frankly barmy mad idiots at The Guardian say the male sex drive is, has and always will be larger than the females.
I would disagree. If you take away all of the social stigma and give people the choice/freedom to do as they wish with no judgement. Then the ladies are far worse than guys. The most fun thing is doing this and then sharing the incredible ride together...pun intended
It wasn't anything that I had given any thought to but it seems a real possibility when you think about it. With the very graphic pics and movies that are so easily viewable now it probably is very easy to many guys (women as well perhaps) to become hooked on watching them and lose the natural desire for company of the opposite (or same sex). The computer screen becomes a companion who costs little, doesn't nag and only gives grief when it breaks down.
I think that we all in the swinging community past and present have become a little complacent with how much sex and sex as part of a relationship plays in our lives. As swingers the 'keeping it for the partner only' has long gone but in the main we are in control of it and when it goes right its fantastic.
You do not have to look at many of the 'couples' on webcam on here to see that during the daytime many are guys beating the bishop in front of their cam. I just wonder if some of them are seeking and finding equal or more pleasure in doing that than they can achieve with their partners. How many partners I wonder know that their mates spend at least part of the day doing that?
Yes, I as a healthy widowed male do respond to pics and movies and enjoy myself but that is done more from a point of release of sexual tension rather than the exhibitionism shown by many.
Smooth1
I think that we all in the swinging community past and present have become a little complacent with how much sex and sex as part of a relationship plays in our lives. As swingers the 'keeping it for the partner only' has long gone but in the main we are in control of it and when it goes right its fantastic.
You do not have to look at many of the 'couples' on webcam on here to see that during the daytime many are guys beating the bishop in front of their cam. I just wonder if some of them are seeking and finding equal or more pleasure in doing that than they can achieve with their partners. How many partners I wonder know that their mates spend at least part of the day doing that?
Yes, I as a healthy widowed male do respond to pics and movies and enjoy myself but that is done more from a point of release of sexual tension rather than the exhibitionism shown by many.
Smooth1
Quote by Derek_kelp
Despite what the frankly barmy mad idiots at The Guardian say the male sex drive is, has and always will be larger than the females.
I would disagree. If you take away all of the social stigma and give people the choice/freedom to do as they wish with no judgement. Then the ladies are far worse than guys. The most fun thing is doing this and then sharing the incredible ride together...pun intended
You betcha!
Warming the Bed
Anyone have any actual evidence at all to say that as a gender womens sex drive is as high as a mans?
All I have for my opinion is all of recorded human history, the current situation regarding the economics of the sex industry and the demographic make up of every single swinger site and sex club the world over. In addition all studies on the subject show that gay men have the most sex and lesbian women have the least.
Although personal anecdotes really are a poor form of debating in my experience I have had a higher sex drive than every lady I have been in a relationship with. Of course there will be individual ladies who do have a high libido but IMHO they are the exception to the rule and as yet I have never met one, but hey maybe I am just inordinately unlucky and attract prudes.
If the genders libido is equal why is there a massive, massive, massive excess of male sexual desire? Simple logic dicates that thay cannot be equal!
All I have for my opinion is all of recorded human history, the current situation regarding the economics of the sex industry and the demographic make up of every single swinger site and sex club the world over. In addition all studies on the subject show that gay men have the most sex and lesbian women have the least.
Although personal anecdotes really are a poor form of debating in my experience I have had a higher sex drive than every lady I have been in a relationship with. Of course there will be individual ladies who do have a high libido but IMHO they are the exception to the rule and as yet I have never met one, but hey maybe I am just inordinately unlucky and attract prudes.
If the genders libido is equal why is there a massive, massive, massive excess of male sexual desire? Simple logic dicates that thay cannot be equal!
Warming the Bed
Quote by bayboy1664
but hey maybe I am just inordinately unlucky and attract prudes.
If the genders libido is equal why is there a massive, massive, massive excess of male sexual desire?
You kind of answered your question yourself there - social pressures, conditioning and suppression is so much worse for women than it is for men, when it comes to sexual matters! While I agree with you re. the hormones issue, we will never get the clear picture of where women's desire stands in relation to men's because it is so hard for women to get truly liberated, sexually. I will also agree with Robert400andKay, in that women's sexuality is of a different kind than men's, and perhaps again there is not sufficient space for women to express this. Also, having been both a prude and rampant for most of my life, I find it amusing to see you juxtapose the two qualities. But this is exactly what we're talking about - being stifled to the point where you cannot express your desire. This is no different to the housewife that puts the whole family's needs and wants before her own gratification. This is all pretty old school but IMO still anchored deep in our collective psyche.
Back to the OP - yes, I agree: apart from promoting their book there is not much new to report there. The stuff they are reporting (attachment to technology, social isolation, excessive/addictive porn usage) are simply symptoms, not the causes. The only cause I would pick out of all mentioned is the dire state of economy (and young people's unemployment in particular, which has been incapacitating for many years now). On a similar note, if I remember correctly, the spread of hikikomori in Japan was hitting the news in the late 90s
Reading through the article I was strongly reminded of "Raising Boys", a very well-known parenting manual by Steve Biddulph (published some time in the late 90s also), which touches on many issues regarding western society's failure to engage adolescent boys and channel/challenge their energy constructively. The book talks, amongst other things, about the importance of adult male role models/mentoring (not necessarily fathers/in addition to fathers), introducing calculated risk/adventure, encouraging verbal communication, keeping the whole body responsive etc etc.
I have to say also... I was disappointed at the ending, where they said that "both mom and dad, educators, video game producers, and guys themselves" should work hard to reverse the trend - but failed to mention that the porn industry needs to be revolutionised also :razz::grin:
Sexpert
Quote by mincepie
but hey maybe I am just inordinately unlucky and attract prudes.
If the genders libido is equal why is there a massive, massive, massive excess of male sexual desire?
You kind of answered your question yourself there - social pressures, conditioning and suppression is so much worse for women than it is for men, when it comes to sexual matters!
If you feel you are attracting the wrong people then maybe use a different bait?
Seriously though, I have seen it many times; if you don't judge, are openminded, let people do exactly what they want to do and when they want to do it. Then people will open up and that is amazing. Then you both have endless possibilities...why would someone not revel in that?
Sex God
Just a little ditty really....but, many years ago, way before the 'net, I worked amongst a farming community and chatted, as guys do, about girls and porn and such. It always stuck in my mind what one of the young farm labourers said to me. He said, in reference to pics in men's mags., "I wish the real thing looked as good as it does in the pictures". I don't know where else he'd been looking, but I thought it kinda said something about people and their expectations.
Sex God
Oh!
When I saw the subject heading I thought the well-known London hospital was closing down!
When I saw the subject heading I thought the well-known London hospital was closing down!
