DOGS DIARY
7am: Oh boy, a walk............my favourite!
8am: Oh boy, dog food........my favourite!
9am: Oh boy, the kids.........my favourite!
Noon:Oh boy, the garden....my favourite!
2pm: Oh boy, a car ride......my favourite!
3pm: Oh boy, the kids.........my favourite!
4pm: Oh boy, playing ball....my favourite!
6pm: Oh boy, welcome home Mum....my favourite!
7pm: Oh boy, welcome home Dad.....my favourite!
8pm: Oh boy, dog food.....my favourite!
9pm: Oh boy, tummy rubs on the couch.....my favourite!
11pm: Oh boy, sleeping in my people's bed.....my favourite!
CATS DIARY
Day 483 of my captivity....
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat while I am forced to eat dry cereal.
The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape and the mild satisfaction that I get from clawing the furniture.
Tomorrow I will eat another houseplant.
Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded.....must try this at the top of the stairs.
In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favourite chair. I must remember to try this on their bed.
Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to strike fear into their hearts. They only coo-ed and condescended about what a good little cat I am. Hmmmm, that didn't go according to plan.
There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary confinement throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More importantly, I overheard my confinement was due to my powers of inducing 'allergies'. I must learn what this power is and how I may use it to my advantage.
I am convinced the other captives are flunkies, and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit.
The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant and speaks with them regularly. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured. But I have patience.
I can wait. It is only a matter of time.
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The Difference Between Cats And Dogs!
:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
Sexpert
The real difference is that "Are you being served?" managed to run for 10 series, and 69 episodes using one joke about a cat :crazy:
I don't think the pilot would have been aired if the joke had been about Mrs Slocombe's spanial
Although, there maybe milage in Mrs Slocombes' puppies.......
I'll get my coat!
I don't think the pilot would have been aired if the joke had been about Mrs Slocombe's spanial
Although, there maybe milage in Mrs Slocombes' puppies.......
I'll get my coat!
Sex God
Ha hahaha
Just read that at the same time as Den nearly flung a kitten across the room for making him trip over it by 'weaving' through his legs - they're out to get us.....
it's only a matter of time!...............
Just read that at the same time as Den nearly flung a kitten across the room for making him trip over it by 'weaving' through his legs - they're out to get us.....
it's only a matter of time!...............
:wink:
Casanova
Quote by Happy Cats
Yes indeed, cats are superior
A dog will happily run after a stick thats been thrown. A cat looks at you as if to say......"me? chase after a piece of dead wood, are you serious??????"
dee
Orgasminator
Quote by Happy Cats
Yes indeed, cats are superior
Yeah but there's always one exception HC
:lol: :lol: Orgasminator
Quote by Happy Cats
Yes indeed, cats are superior
Yeah but there's always one exception HC
:lol: :lol:You wont say that when I lay my pongy fu shit on you
I'm not sure what feline customs you have, but laying in shit is not one of mine :lol:
Quote by Lissa
DOGS DIARY
7am: Oh boy, a walk............my favourite!
8am: Oh boy, dog food........my favourite!
9am: Oh boy, the kids.........my favourite!
Noon:Oh boy, the garden....my favourite!
2pm: Oh boy, a car ride......my favourite!
3pm: Oh boy, the kids.........my favourite!
4pm: Oh boy, playing ball....my favourite!
6pm: Oh boy, welcome home Mum....my favourite!
7pm: Oh boy, welcome home Dad.....my favourite!
8pm: Oh boy, dog food.....my favourite!
9pm: Oh boy, tummy rubs on the couch.....my favourite!
11pm: Oh boy, sleeping in my people's bed.....my favourite!
.
Just checked my Cat's Diary it read
"Whatever!"
I questioned him on his activities and he replied "Cat Stuff" and went to sleep.
Quote by ShyGuy1955
Well Winston Churchill said "Dogs look up to you, cats look down on you but pigs treat you as an equal!"
Shy
Many, many, many years ago I worked at the National Agricultural Centre at Stoneleigh. I normally worked on the Bull unit, but did a few weeks helping out on the Pig unit. Pigs are actually remarkably clean and intelligent animals. They only ever use one corner of their pen as a toilet...............made cleaning them out a doddle!
Quote by Lissa
Well Winston Churchill said "Dogs look up to you, cats look down on you but pigs treat you as an equal!"
Shy
Many, many, many years ago I worked at the National Agricultural Centre at Stoneleigh. I normally worked on the Bull unit, but did a few weeks helping out on the Pig unit. Pigs are actually remarkably clean and intelligent animals. They only ever use one corner of theirpen as a toilet...............made cleaning them out a doddle!
maybe they could teach some guys a trick or 2
Quote by leroy1867
Well Winston Churchill said "Dogs look up to you, cats look down on you but pigs treat you as an equal!"
Shy
Many, many, many years ago I worked at the National Agricultural Centre at Stoneleigh. I normally worked on the Bull unit, but did a few weeks helping out on the Pig unit. Pigs are actually remarkably clean and intelligent animals. They only ever use one corner of theirpen as a toilet...............made cleaning them out a doddle!
maybe they could teach some guys a trick or 2
:D :D :D You ain't kidding!
Quote by Lissa
Well Winston Churchill said "Dogs look up to you, cats look down on you but pigs treat you as an equal!"
Shy
Many, many, many years ago I worked at the National Agricultural Centre at Stoneleigh. I normally worked on the Bull unit, but did a few weeks helping out on the Pig unit. Pigs are actually remarkably clean and intelligent animals. They only ever use one corner of theirpen as a toilet...............made cleaning them out a doddle!
maybe they could teach some guys a trick or 2
:D :D :D You ain't kidding!
not me tho u understand id never do anything like that not at all nope
(few think i got away with that one)
