Using a dildo is penetrative sex, Les. If you take one out of one orifice and put it in another either unsheathed or without changing the condom you risk cross-infection should one of the participants be carrying an infection.
Ergo, not much more safe than using a condom for any penis involved but not for any toys. Or fingers for than matter.
To dismiss the possibility of such cross-infection, as most people seem to do, is realy the part of the debate I'm trying to engage in. Not statistical ratios of which is most likely, but the fact that all carry a chance, most ignore those possibilities and endanger others whilst doing so feeling safe. That some seem to do so (and I'm not referring to anyone when I say this) whilst sporting a superior attitude to others' risk assessment actually adds to the danger. Why? Because it blinds them to other possibilities. Your last post pointed out a new one to me - via the eye. How many would never dream of letting a new playmate cum inside them, but would allow them to cum on their face? Ever wondered about what might happen if your back, for example, got scratched during sex then one of the participants came over it?
All I'm saying is we need to be aware of all the risks and to not blind ourselves along the lines that only the penis spreads disease. It is statistically significantly more likely that a child-abuser will be male, but it doesn't mean that the possibility of a female abuser should be ignored because of it. Back when I worked in child care I attended a course about spotting the signs of abuse. The facilitator constantly referred to abusers as male. The father, he, him and so on. Whne I complained about this the statistics were quoted at me and I was told to shut up by the others in our staff. Even after I pointed out that the only two cases of abuse, one physical & one sexual, we'd had to deal with were perpetrated by women. Nothing I said could persuade either the facilitator or the others on the course to stop thinking of abusers as solely being male. I feel much the same in this debate.
In case anyone was wondering, and since none have answered, no, I can't say yes to my question. Here's another question. Ladies, how would you feel if a playmate pulled out a pair of surgical gloves and refused to touch any wet surface of your body without wearing them in the name of safe sex? I bet you'd be offended. Now ask why.
we allways insist on condoms ........we were seeing this couple on a regular basis till they tried to persued us to go "bare back" we refused but they kept trying to change our minds. In fact they got a bit pushy so we called it a day on our meets. Was a shame as we liked them but no matter how well you think you know people you never know there full sexual history so condoms a must for us.
I found out my wife had been shagging someone else without condoms it was mainly an oral affair but there was penetration. His excuse was impotence. Oddly enough the last time she shagged him I had a dream about it (possibly concurrently) which got me to confront her about it. The dream went something like she told me that he would get her to fuck him by threatening to go cottaging on the town moor if she didn't. Then she woke me up and confessed. She tested negative during pregnancy. But who knows if he's had other partners since.
I think they both assumed it would be safe as they were both married in stable monogamous relationships (well I thought we were too). But the road to hell is paved with false assumptions.
A friend of mine got dumped when his girlfriend got chlamidia. Got to be one of the worst ways to find out.
Golden Rule of Playing Away: Don't bring back anything you can't get rid of.
Fortunately since his wife found out about them she has left him and can't stand to stick around and see us together.
Silve Rule of Playing Away: Don't get emotionally attached
Anyway, I've booked myself into a GUM clinic for a full check. I don't think I've got anything but it's best to be sure. Maybe I should take the kids to DadCheck as well...
Dawnie, I'm not sure "naming and shaming", even privately, is my style.... but if you want to search the adverts for "bareback" you will be spoilt for choice. Like it or not, this community has many who are prepared to take the risk ......or convince themselves there is no risk
Edit added ....I know other sites, particularly amongst the gay community, allow members to state their safe sex preferences (eg, always, sometimes, never, needs discussion) - it's not foolpfroof of course but it might give you a better idea of quite what risks your swinging partner is and has been taking.
well it's amazing that this thread has got to 5 pages without Godwins Law being invoked. Ultimately there will always be things that as people we will never all fully agree on. Politics, Religion, and in the context of this site obviously safe sex.
Hopefully before this ends up on page 4 of the forum Godwins Law won't be invoked, lets just accept that even today with all the risks, people will still want to do there own thing. We all have a choice with who we play with.
M
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as the scare in America showed.
, i meant page 2 of the forum (now be quiet before Kiss sees this :scared
